Contributing Author: H0st

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Trey stood in the middle of the room, awkwardly frozen mid-dab as everyone else around stared at him in silence, not a single muscle moving, save for the occasional blinking of disbelief at the scene presented before their eyes.

Hey Trey! How are… were you just dabbing?!

“Daizy?” Trey whispered to himself, his right arm still stretched out towards the ceiling. “Is that you?”

Gah! I can’t believe you’re dabbing! You really are old. Nobody does that anymore!

“Please, Daizy, tell me you can help me out of this pickle.”

Alright, let me see if I can save you from embarrassing yourself even more. Let me just…

Trey felt the increasingly familiar—but still uncomfortable—feeling of his body’s control being taken away from him as his consciousness was pushed to the backseat of his brain, nicely tucked away into a spectator seat, bucket of popcorn and big cup of soda not included.

His body finally dropped from the dabbing pose and he shook his arms and legs like a cat who had just been doused with water.

“Ew, I can’t believe Yu did that,” Daizy said, through Trey’s mouth.

It wasn’t me! It was all… oh wait, never mind, I got it. Let’s not do that all over again. What happened to Yu anyway? The previous aphid, I mean. Is he okay?

Daizy shrugged.

“I dunno. He does that sometimes, just comes and goes. Why, nobody knows.” She paused, squinted, and said, “Hey, wait a minute…”

As the young aphid stretched Trey’s neck forward, she peered around the room and finally took a moment to inspect her surroundings. The sounds of fighting–shotguns firing, swords clashing–still echoed from the hallway, but her focus was drawn to the table in front of her.

It was covered in green felt and circular chips. A terrified lady, a croupier, stood behind it, her whole body shaking in fear, clearly too scared to move a finger.

Several figures in fancy outfits sat around the table. They looked like shriveled up ghouls, their eyes the only part of them capable of moving, as they stared at Trey in silent, desperate pleas of help.

Then, there was Captain Corrosion. He was struggling to sit up in his chair, holding onto his gut with both hands as sludgy seawater mixed with brown rust spilled out between his fingers.

“Trey!” Daizy screeched. “Are we still in the casino?! I told you I’m not allowed in places like this. I’m too young! Mama is gonna be mad at me!”

I’m sorry! It’s not like I chose you to be next.

“Did you at least get the pancakes for the side quest I gave you?”

I… sort of? I think Vice Roid had them, but they may or may not have been taken by a group of robots in trench coats earlier.

“Treeeeey!” cried the little aphid.

Look, I’m really sorry, and I promise that once we get out of here, I’ll do my best to find us some pancakes, but now that you’re here, I really, really could use your help to save these people.

“Alright, fine, I’ll stay, but only for a little bit!” Her gaze returned to the captain as he erupted into a fit of coughing, water with tiny starfish in it pouring out of his mouth in a cascade. “Oh, my gosh! Are you alright, mister?”

She rushed towards him with Trey’s arms stretched forward.

Daizy, no! That’s the bad guy!

“Ya stay away from me, ye slippery trout,” Captain Corrosion said, spewing salty water between each word. “Which one of ye little squirts be hiding behind there now, huh? That’s right. I know who ye are now. Is it the goopy one without a name? Or maybe it be the sneaky dog again, hmm?”

“No, no, I’m Daizy. Hello,” the aphid said, giving the pirate an energetic wave as she smiled.

“Daizy, is it?” the captain said, his algae eyebrows arching as he squinted at Trey. “Never heard of ya.”

Daizy, do you think you could maybe use your pow—I mean, suggest that he let all these people go?

She paused for a second and looked up at the ceiling while tapping Trey’s chin with a finger.

“Okay!” she enthusiastically said. “Hey, Mr. Lamprey-Face, don’t you think these people at your table look really tired and like they could use a nap? You should let them go home.”

The Mayor, the Bishop, and everyone else sitting around the table let moans and grunts escape from their dried up throats and through their shriveled lips as they pleaded for mercy.

The pirate stared emptily at Trey for a moment, as if in a trance, but then shook his head and frowned.

“Bah!” Captain Corrosion spat. “I ain’t be letting anyone out of here. They lost, unfair and square. They knew the stakes, and they took them. Their tokens—their souls—be mine now.”

Dang it. It didn’t work. He must be too strong-willed or something.

The captain’s gaze went wicked, and he continued. “Unless ya want to make a wager of yer own. Yer own soul, on the table, for all of theirs. What say ye to a little game of cards?”

We need to be very careful here, Daizy. He’s, without a doubt, trying to set us up. We can’t fall for his trap so—

“Sure! Sounds fun. We’re in!” exclaimed the excited girl.

Trey pinched the bridge of his metaphysical nose inside his mind and sighed. Dear Plant, why do I even try…

The old sea dawg cackled and more dirty water shot out of his mouth.

“Are you sure you’re alright, though?” asked Daizy. “We can play later if your tummy is hurting.”

“That’s hogwash!” the pirate blurted out. “Tis but a scratch! I’ve suffered far worse from much bigger fish than ye. I’ll be fine, let me just…”

The captain straightened himself in his chair and grunted as he used his fingers to shove what looked like black eels back into his gut. After pulling his undercoat back down, he grabbed the glass in front of him and downed its contents in one swig.

“Good as new,” he announced with a malicious grin. “Shall we play some poker now?”

“Poke who?” a puzzled Daizy asked. “I don’t know that game.”

The grin disappeared and was replaced by a look of confusion on Captain Corrosion’s barnacled face.

“Ya don’t know how to play poker?”

“Nuh-uh.”

“Fine, fine, I be tired of poker, anyway. Let us play some blackjack instead.”

“Who’s Jack? Is he your friend? Is he here? Will he be playing with us, too?”

“What?! No! What in torments are ya talking about? Don’t tell me ya also don’t know how to play blackjack?”

Daizy shook Trey’s head.

“What about canasta?”

“Don’t know that one.”

“Hearts?”

“Nope.”

“Solitaire?!”

“Sorry.”

Captain Corrosion gritted his teeth and a few of his barnacles twitched.

“Is there no card game ye know?!”

Daizy puckered Trey’s lips and stroked his chin for a moment before perking up and pointing a finger up with excitement. “I know one!”

“Finally. Which one?”

“Go Fish!”

The pirate stared at Trey, unblinking. “Ya serious? What be you? Ten?”

This story has been taken without authorization. Report any sightings.

“I’m 11, actually,” said Daizy, looking proud.

Captain Corrosion laughed. A booming, corrosive cackling that made the paint peel off the walls and heavy drapes blocking the room’s window fell apart into tattered rags.

“So be it,” he said, turning to the mortified dealer. “We play Go Fish. This will be easier than taking candy from a child.”

“Ooh, I love candy!”

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“Sevens.”

“Go fish!”

The scent of sea and bad sardines hung around the room, mixing with the smoke and smell of gunpowder as the remaining gamblers played it out on the table, surrounded by a silent audience of shriveled up VIPs who watched on with bated breaths as the fate of their very souls was decided in front of their eyes.

Somewhere along the way, Daizy had taken the Mayor’s cowboy hat. She was wearing it proudly on Trey’s head, swinging his legs back and forth as she peered at her cards.

The terrified dealer did her best to remain as still and unnoticed as she could, praying that someone would just let her go. After all, you don’t really need a dedicated dealer to play Go Fish, so why keep her there? She dared not ponder that question further.

“You got any, hmm… Tens!”

“Hah! Nay. Go fish.”

The game continued on for a while and things were not looking good for Trey’s side.

Captain Corrosion had already completed five books, while Daizy only had one–which she had made by sheer luck when fishing for an ace.

“Yarr… Sixes?”

“Go fish!”

The pirate grumbled but drew his card from the stock.

With 13 being the total number of books, if the captain reached seven completed sets of cards, he would be the winner. Sitting at five to one, the old sailor was enjoying his odds.

“I be looking forward to taking yer soul, boy,” he said, staring into Trey’s eyes. “Yes, I be talking to ya. I know ya be back there, hiding, watching. After we be done with this game, I’ll be making a real seaman out of ya.”

The salty dawg cackled maniacally.

“Sevens.”

“Go fish!” Daizy said enthusiastically, seeming completely unbothered by the pirate’s words or demeanor.

As for Trey, he sat far away in the backseat of his brain, hoping to get by unscathed once everything was over. It reminded him of when he’d sit at the very end of the bus while riding home from school. No one would sit with him there, but at least it kept him out of the sights of all the bullies.

Most of the time.

“Queens,” said the captain.

“Go fish!” responded the aphid.

Trey didn’t like gambling. Betting things always made him anxious, ever since he lost his marbles to Kyle in third grade.

That kid was such a cheater.

So now he could barely even bring himself to watch the game from Daizy’s perspective. The anticipation stressed him out, and he just wanted the whole thing to be over.

“Eights!” the little girl exclaimed.

They were losing, but she continued to sound as excited as ever. Did she know something Trey did not? Did she have an ace up her sleeve? Perhaps she was really good at that game. She wasn’t even looking at the cards in her hand anymore, so that must mean she was confident in what she was doing.

Or, maybe she was just being… Daizy.

Hey, Daizy, sorry for interrupting, but… can I see our cards?

“Sure!” she said, picking up the cards and scanning them with her eyes.

She was holding three queens and a trio of twos in her hand.

What the hell? Didn’t he just ask for queens? And why are you fishing for eights when we aren’t even holding any?! Fish for the cards we have three of!

“Oooooh… okay!” said the happy aphid. “Queens!”

Captain Corrosion grunted and tossed a single queen across the green felt.

Daizy did a little clap and placed a book of queens face up on the table. “Yay.”

The captain’s brow furrowed. “Now wait just a second, ya little shrimp!”

Oh crap…

“I just asked ya for queens and ya told me to go fish, but now ya had three of them in yer hand… there’s no way you drew enough new cards for that!”

Daizy looked down at her cards and then back up at the pirate. “Yeah?”

The salty dawg stood up abruptly, causing his chair to fall back and the dealer to jump in place with a whimper.

“Ye be cheating! Everybody knows Go Fish be a game based on the honor system, and ya broke that rule by not giving yer cards over when I called for them!”

“Ooooooh…” Daizy said. “So that’s how you play it. I thought we just had to keep saying ‘Go fish!’ to each other until someone won.”

What?! I thought you knew how to play it!

Captain Corrosion drew his cutlass and pointed its rusty tip across the table at Trey.

“Since ye be breaking the rules, I win yer soul,” said the pirate, rust dust falling from his blade as he grinned.

“In that case, it’s a draw,” said Daizy, shrugging casually.

“What? How do this be a draw?” said the captain. “Ya violated the code—”

“So did you,” interrupted Daizy.

His eyes widened, and his grip tightened on his sword. “Me?”

“Uh-huh,” the aphid confirmed. “You broke the pirate code.”

The old sailor’s eyes widened further. This time, Trey’s [Awareness] helped him notice the wavering tip of the pirate’s sword.

“The code says no card or dice gaming for money,” she continued, pointing towards the tokens, chips, jewels, and gold pieces scattered on the table.

Captain Corrosion stared at the pile of valuables. His chin trembled as his mouth opened, but no words found their way out.

“Also,” added the young girl as she looked down at his weapon, “there’s a rule in the pirate code about keeping your cutlass clean, which you clearly aren’t very good at.”

“Me?” muttered Captain Corrosion. “Breaking the pirate code?”

“I-I thought they were more like guidelines?” the croupier, standing on the side of the table, sheepishly said.

“What?!” the captain blurted out, swiftly shifting his blade from Trey to the dealer. “The pirate code be the most important piece of law for any pirate on the seven seas. And also, it’s the only one! To break it is to declare yerself a proper pirate no longer.”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry, I didn’t know! Please don’t turn me into a raisin too!” the young woman pleaded as she covered her head with her arms.

Trey, watching the whole exchange from within his mind, was starting to feel confused.

How do you know so much about the pirate code?

“I went through a phase where I wanted to be a pirate when I was nine,” Daizy said. “Doug talked me out of it, though.”

“I-I can’t believe this, but… ya might be right,” Captain Corrosion said, looking down at his cutlass, then at Trey. “I’ve been going around doing the bugman’s bidding for so long that I’ve lost track of why I became a pirate.”

Daizy’s eyes dilated with curiosity at the sailor. “Why did you become a pirate?”

Captain Corrosion’s gaze drifted far away, as if he was traipsing through a daydream.

“Apart from me love of the sea and her beauty, apart from me desire to plunder many riches, and apart from me dream to see every coast and port there be to see… I decided to become a proper pirate to chase me greatest goal.” His eyes glistened with the fickle light of a young sailor seeing the sun rise over the great sapphire beyond. “The Blue Maiden.”

Hmm, what do you think this Blue Maiden is—

“Yes!” Daizy exclaimed abruptly. “Mama always says we should follow our dreams. You should go after yours and find your Green Maven! Unless you don’t think you got what it takes to do it anymore?”

“Blue Maiden,” said the captain as he sheathed his blade and narrowed his eyes. “And what do ya think I be? I be the damnest, bestest pirate to ever sail the seven seas! If I set me sights on something, I get it. What am I even doing here, on land, in a casino I don’t care about? I belong out there, at sea, chasing me life’s dream.”

“Yeah! That’s right! Do you know what you should do now?”

“Yes, little shrimp. I know exactly what I should do. I should…” He jumped on the table, knocking some chips and a gold bullion off its surface. “Go fish!”

Daizy started jumping and clapping in excitement.

“Ye win this time, ya scurvy dawg,” Captain Corrosion announced. “Ya can have their tokens back. I don’t need no stinking souls where I’m going next. But make no mistake, we will meet again, and I will want a rematch.”

The pirate jumped off the table and headed to the exit, happily skipping and singing as he went.

“I do what I want ‘cause a pirate is free. I. Am. A pirate!”

As he stepped through the broken door, Captain Corrosion turned around and took off his tricorne to wave goodbye. On his head, on each side of his mohawk, there were two brightly colored corals growing out of his scalp, one a vivid green and the other a rusty red.

Wow, I really thought things weren’t going to end well when your suggestion didn’t work on him, but I’m glad it all worked out. Heeey, hold on. All those times you kept telling him to ‘Go fish’–and now those coral things on his head… Did you do that to him, Daizy?

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Trey,” said Daizy, giving another innocent shrug. “You’re kinda weird, you know that?”

She stood up and walked around the room with a slight smirk on Trey’s face. The VIPs were recovering their natural colors, their shriveled up features slowly filling back up as they regained control of their limbs. The dealer popped her head up from behind the table, looking around to make sure the pirate was really gone.

Suddenly the whole building shook, nearly throwing Daizy off balance. She held one hand up and caught the Mayor’s cowboy hat before it fell off Trey’s head.

What’s going on?!

She ran to the exposed window and peered outside.

The Red Scare, Captain Corrosion’s ship, was slowly dislodging itself from the casino and backing away, making a loud BEEP sound every couple of seconds as it reversed onto the road.

“Off he goes,” the happy aphid said, waving her hand out of the window. “And off I go now too, Trey. It’s almost dinnertime and Mama will be calling. I hope she lets me play some more with you later.”

Alright, bye, Daizy. Thanks for—hey, wait!

Predicting what was about to happen, Trey braced just in time as the young aphid abandoned control and his body went limp. Landing safely on a nearby chair, he sighed in relief.

“At least we’re making some progress.”

[Aphid Synchronization]

- 00.00% | (Z) Daizy

“Well, maybe not on everything, but I’ll take the wins where I can.”

As Trey adapted to being back in control of his body, another rumbling under his feet nearly made him fall face first into the ankle-deep saltwater that still flooded the room.

Glancing back out the window, Trey realized the Red Scare was already far off into the distance, making its way back to the sea.

“The building,” said the frightened croupier, staring up at the ceiling, where dust fell from cracks in the concrete. “I think it’s collapsing.”

Oh right. The captain and his ship might be gone, but the corruption damage they already did is still here. I’m guessing having a giant ship crash into your casino only to later pull out and leave a big gaping hole in the side of the building doesn’t help with keeping your rusty foundations sturdy.

“We’re far too important to die, my boy,” exclaimed the Mayor, who seemed to have recovered enough of his strength to stand and talk again. “You must do something! And wait… is that my hat?”

Trey looked at him and the other VIPs and tried to force a reassuring smile. From the look they all gave him, he didn’t think he was doing a very good job.

Hello? Anyone there? Trey called to the insides of his brain. I could really do with a hand or six over here.