For a moment, time seemed to stand still as Hana remained locked in Ren’s arms, her senses overwhelmed by the warmth of his touch and the comforting strength of his presence. But amidst the whirlwind of emotions that swirled around her, there was a strange clarity.
But as the seconds ticked by and the spell was broken, Hana’s senses gradually returned to her, and she became very aware of the reality of their situation. So aware that warning bells were going off in her head. She was in her superior's arms.
With a shaky breath, she pulled away from Ren’s embrace, her cheeks flushed with embarrassment as she struggled to find the words to express the jumble of emotions that churned within her.
“Dr. Jenkins, I...I’m sorry,” she stammered, her voice barely above a whisper as she averted her gaze, unable to meet his eyes.
Ren held Hana at arm’s length, his brow furrowed as he studied her flushed face. For a few beats, he said nothing, seemingly processing her stuttered apology.
Hana felt the blood drain from her face as her gaze followed Ren’s down to her bare hand still resting on his forearm from when he had steadied her. In her flustered state, she had been completely exposed.
She quickly snatched her hand back as if burned, fumbling in the pocket of her scrubs with shaking fingers. Finally grasping a spare latex glove, Hana hurriedly tugged it over her hand, her cheeks flushing crimson.
There was an acute pause where Ren’s penetrating stare seemed to bore into her, his sharp eyes missing nothing. Hana felt laid bare, her carefully guarded secret about to be uncovered.
“I...I’m sorry, I...” She stammered, unable to meet his probing gaze as she twisted the glove anxiously.
Ren’s expression remained inscrutable, giving no hint as to his thoughts on her strange behavior. The silence stretched out between them.
“Sorry?” he finally said, his deep voice a low rumble. “You have nothing to apologize for, Nurse Shizumi.”
Hana managed a jerky bob of her head, her shoulders still tensed awaiting further scrutiny over her odd glove ritual.
Ren’s jaw clenched as he wrestled with the aftershock of the intensely personal glimpses he thought he’d experienced. He was a man of science and facts - not someone who entertained fanciful notions.
“You’re tired from the long shift,” he stated firmly as if convincing himself as much as Hana. “Perhaps you should take a moment to rest in the lounge before returning to your rounds.”
His steely eyes finally met Hana’s again, daring her to contradict his logical assessment of the situation. The sudden awkward tension hung thickly in the air between them.
Hana exhaled a shaky breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding. Her fingers unconsciously twisted the fabric of her gloves as a flood of relief washed over her. With an inaudible goodbye, Hana whisked herself away from the strange man.
Ren watched stoically as Hana scurried away, her shoulders hunched. He resisted the urge to call out after her retreating form.
Instead, he clenched his jaw and narrowed his eyes slightly as he replayed the strange interaction in his mind. When she had stumbled into his arms, her bare hands had grazed his skin sending an inexplicable jolt through him. Unbidden flashes of...something...had flooded his consciousness.
But that was preposterous.
Ren shook his head sharply. Nonsense. He was projecting, nothing more.
And yet, a small part of him couldn’t help but feel a flicker of disappointment at her brusque retreat. His icy gaze followed her retreating form until she disappeared around the corner.
“Everything alright over here?”
Ren’s head whipped around at the familiar voice. Dr. Rowan strolled up, his perpetual grin intact though his eyes held a hint of concern.
“Shizumi seemed a bit...rattled,” Rowan observed lightly. “And you? Rough patient case?”
“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Ren said curtly, tactfully avoiding the details of his strange encounter with the nurse.
Rowan held up his hands in mock surrender. “Hey, no need to get defensive, Mister Freeze. I’m just making sure my two favorite people aren’t at each other’s throats.”
Ren’s jaw ticked slightly at the nickname they both knew he despised. Rowan always did have a particular talent for getting under his skin.
“Shizumi is...” Ren paused, considering his words carefully. “An enigma. Her disposition can be challenging to read at times.”
One dark brow arched upward on Rowan’s annoyingly smug face. “Is that the high-brow doctor's way of saying the poor girl is a bit of a weirdo?”
“I didn’t say that,” Ren countered a bit too quickly. He could feel his professional mask slipping slightly.
“Relax, bro,” Rowan laughed, slapping him companionably on the shoulder. “I’m just givin’ you shit, as usual. Shizumi seems like a perfectly nice kid to me. Just...you know...awkward. Socially calibrated differently than the rest of us mere mortals.”
Ren allowed himself a fractional eye roll at his friend’s poor attempt at an empathetic observation. He should have known better than to reveal even a hint of his muddled thoughts regarding Hana.
“I don’t have time to psychoanalyze my staff’s eccentricities,” he said flatly, deftly changing the subject. “Unless you’ve called me out for an actual professional consultation to which I am unfortunately not trained to do?”
Rowan’s grin widened a touch as he recognized Ren’s blatant deflection for what it was - a reminder to mind his own business. The man was prickly as a cactus when it came to keeping his emotional walls up.
“Sure, sure,” Rowan said easily. “Morgue just brought up a couple of bodies from that pile-up on the interstate. Want to take a look before we call the families?”
Ren’s shoulders relaxed a fraction as he allowed himself to slip back into his well-practiced role of clinical detachment once more.
“Lead the way,” Ren said crisply, falling into step beside Rowan without a second glance in the direction Hana had gone.
As they made their way down the stark corridor, Rowan shot Ren a sidelong glance. “You know, for someone so wildly attractive, you sure do have a knack for making the pretty ladies want to run for the hills.”
Ren didn’t even dignify that with a response beyond a legendary withering stare.
Undeterred, Rowan plowed ahead. “I’m just saying, a little charm can go a long way. You catch more flies with honey than...you know...”
He trailed off with a suggestive waggle of his eyebrows. When Ren remained stoically unmoved, Rowan sighed loudly.
“Alright, alright, my legendary wit is wasted on you today, Dr. Iceberg.” He held up his hands in mock surrender. “I just think it might do you some good to let people see there’s a slightly less prickly side underneath all those emotional layers you’ve got battened down.”
This time it was Ren’s turn to shoot his friend a look - one that quite clearly said he was dangerously close to overstepping his bounds. Rowan had always delighted a bit too much in trying to get a rise out of him.
“My ‘side’, as you put it, is completely professional,” Ren said evenly, his voice holding a subtle warning note “I don’t mix my personal affairs with hospital business. You’d do well to remember that.”
This story is posted elsewhere by the author. Help them out by reading the authentic version.
“Hey, I’m just watching out for you, bro,” Rowan said mildly, though his mischievous grin took on a slightly more serious tilt. “We both know you’ve been a little...preoccupied lately. With a certain someone, perhaps?”
The other doctor didn’t have a chance to react before Rowan raised his hands defensively once more.
“But hey, what do I know? I’m just the comic relief sidekick around here, right?” He shot Ren an exaggerated wink, clearly trying to defuse the tension that had crept in.
Ren held Rowan’s gaze for a beat longer, his jaw ticking almost imperceptibly. Then, without another word, he turned on his heel and continued towards the morgue - his slate swept clean of any lingering personal contemplations.
Rowan shook his head slowly, his grin fading just a touch as he hurried to catch up with his friend’s singleminded strides. “Whatever you say, Ice Man. Whatever you say...”
----------------------------------------
Doomsday was finally behind them, and they were enjoying their first day of peace since it. The emergency room had finally reached a lull after the earlier rush of traumas. It was nearing the lunch hour, and the staff was regrouping after the adrenaline-fueled chaos.
Ren was hunched over the nurses’ station, meticulously updating patient charts and reviewing discharge orders with his usual intense focus. His brow was furrowed in concentration until a familiar voice broke through.
“There’s my favorite workaholic!” Rowan sauntered up, shooting Ren a lopsided grin. “Tell me you’re planning on joining us for lunch this time?”
Ren let out a slow breath through his nose but didn’t look up from his paperwork. “You know how I feel about disrupting my workflow.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know - meals just get in the way of your crazy surgeon schedule,” Rowan said with an exaggerated roll of his eyes. “But Lia’s actually coming down from OB to grace us with her presence. Wouldn’t kill you to be a little social for once, Ice Prince.”
That finally drew the slightest of smirks from Ren as his gaze flickered up briefly. “I should have known you two would gang up on me.”
“You love it and you know it,” Rowan shot back easily. “Now get that cute doctor butt of yours to the lounge before I have to drag you there myself.”
As if on cue, Lia appeared beside them, somehow managing to look perfectly composed despite it being antenatal day at the OB/GYN. “Am I interrupting some sort of testosterone-fueled male bonding moment?” she asked wryly.
“You’re just in time!” Rowan exclaimed, slinging an arm casually around each of their shoulders. “I was just convincing Dr. Grumpypants here to actually take his legally mandated lunch for once.”
Lia arched a single, perfect eyebrow at Ren over Rowan’s head, but her eyes danced with unmistakable affection. “Well, if it’s mandated...”
Watching the trio from nearby, the team of nurses couldn’t help but be drawn to their easy, effortless rapport - their hushed conversation a steady stream of admiring sighs and girlish commentary.
“They’re like newborn baby ducklings waddling after each other,” Julie mock-whispered with a dreamy smile. “Just too adorable.”
Clara made a noise of grudging agreement, though she tried to mask it with an eye roll. “I can’t decide which one of those terrible threesomes I find more obnoxious...or attractive.”
That earned her a sharp elbow in the ribs from Julie, which only made the other nurses stifle their laughter behind their hands.
Even the ever-professional Nurse Crystal’s stern veneer cracked the slightest bit as she watched Lia playfully rapping the back of her hand against Ren’s arm.
“They may be a holy terror most days, but you have to admit...” Crystal said, a hint of wistfulness tingeing her voice. “When they’re in sync like that, it’s tough not to be a little awestruck.”
A fresh chorus of giggles and nods rippled through the nurses at Crystal’s words. Their gossip wasn’t malicious by any means - just the natural gravitational pull of admiring a well-oiled machine comprised of three utterly magnetic personalities.
Hana stayed silent amongst the chatter, feeling her cheeks warm slightly as her gaze followed the trio retreating down the hallway. She couldn’t help but notice how Ren seemed to ease ever-so-slightly in the presence of his two closest confidants.
There was a practiced intimacy there that somehow made him seem almost...approachable. At ease, even. It was such a rare glimpse at the softer side she never knew lingered beneath all his forbidding layers.
Shaking her head minutely, Hana tried to turn back to her tasks, trying not to dwell too deeply on her unusually wistful reaction. She was projecting again - reading too much into professional friendships she didn’t fully understand.
Hana’s fingers twisted in the fabric of her gloves as she watched, unable to deny the small lick of yearning that bloomed within her. To be a part of that sort of rarefied inner circle...it was seductive in its way.
If only she could take her advice and be satisfied admiring from a distance rather than longing for what seemed so persistently out of reach...
If only she could be so confident, so self-assured in her abilities and place. If only fear didn’t constantly nip at her heels, holding her back from being unable to connect.
Little did she know, a pair of piercing eyes had tracked her wistful glances from across the room...
A sense of quiet anticipation filled the room as Hana tried to focus on updating her patient charts, but her mind kept wandering back to the effortless camaraderie she’d witnessed between Ren, Lia, and Rowan just a short while ago. An odd, unsettled feeling gnawed at her - though whether it was longing, envy, or something else entirely, she couldn’t quite say.
She picked up a tray, her hands unintentionally mirroring Lia’s dexterous movements from earlier.
“Would you mind tagging along tonight?” Julie’s sudden inquiry broke Hana’s reverie.
Caught by surprise, Hana nicked her finger on the sharp edge of a medical tray. Her quiet gasp didn’t get past Crystal’s vigilant ears.
“Are you okay, Hana?” Julie asked, concern washing over her usually cheerful face.
Hana just nodded at Julie’s question, gingerly shaking off the discomfort, taking off the bloody glove and quickly slipping a band-aid around the tiny cut.
“Oh, come on now,” Clara sighed dismissively from behind an armload of paperwork. “We’ve all had a scratch here or there; it’s not as if we work in a toy factory.”
Crystal didn’t comment but shot a disapproving look at Clara who just sarcastically raised her eyebrows in return.
Unbeknownst to Hana, Ren had paused mid-step to glance back at her — taking in both her discomfort and resilience under his gaze before turning away with an unreadable expression.
Clara said archly, her eyes dancing with mirth. “Getting lost fantasizing about a certain delectable trio of doctors again, were we?”
“Clara!” Julie made a show of swatting her friend’s arm, though the impish delight on her face undermined the rebuke. “You can’t just say things like that.”
Hana felt warmth bloom across her cheeks as she shook her head rapidly. “N-No, of course not! I was just...working.”
Clara made an exaggerated noise of disbelief. “Mmhmm, suuure. A little harmless eye-candy ogling never hurt anyone, you know.”
The cheerful nurse was now peering at her with an impish grin.
“What?” Hana mumbled, caught off guard.
“After work, we’re hanging out at Gracie’s,” Julie explained, a twinkle in her eyes. “You should come.”
“You simply must come out with us tonight!” she squealed, giving Hana’s arm an insistent tug. “A few drinks, some deliciously awful bar food, maybe a little people-watching...”
Panic fluttered in Hana’s chest at both the abrupt contact and the invite. Going out like that was so far outside her shy, solitary comfort zone. The thought of crowds, pulsing music, alcohol... It made her want to politely extract herself and flee in the opposite direction as fast as propriety would allow.
Hana hesitated, releasing herself from Julie’s grasp. She had never been to any public gathering without Mira by her side.
But then Julie turned her big, pleading doe-eyes on Hana, and all the flimsy excuses shriveled up on her tongue. With a resigned slump of her shoulders, Hana managed a reluctant nod.
Julie squealed again, clearly missing - or perhaps willfully ignoring - Hana’s apprehension as she launched into an enthusiastic rundown of their evening’s planned itinerary. As the bubbly nurse’s words washed over her, Hana couldn’t ignore the knot of trepidation tightening in her belly.
“Hana,” Clara interjected tartly from across the room, “Quit mooning over there and help me with these.”
Caught off guard once more, Hana hurriedly abandoned her tray and rushed over to assist Clara – fumbling slightly under the scrutiny of those unidentified eyes tracking every move from afar…
Crystal watched them interact dismissively for a moment before turning back to her paperwork with barely concealed amusement.
And yet, amidst all these, Hana found herself gazing after the retreating figure of Ren again. His beeper went off and he was already down the hallway tending to a patient – confident, dedicated, never missing a beat. The soft smile Lia gave him as they temporarily parted ways echoed through her - warmth and trust.
Slowly turning back to assisting Clara in silence, her heart thudded a consistent rhythm against her ribcage - half nervousness at Julie’s invitation and half anticipation at whatever unpredictability this night might bring.
Venturing out among crowds, noise, and... people’s thoughts and emotions laid bare through inebriation... This was so far beyond her normal, carefully constructed routine. Her throat tightened at the thought.
She needed to call Mira.
*******************************
Jolted awake with a harsh gasp, his heart pounding in his ears. Though his eyes were open, his surroundings remained hazy - just vague shapes and shadows in the pre-dawn dimness of his bedroom.
He blinked rapidly, trying to get his bearings, but the lingering vestiges of the dream still clung to his consciousness like a heavy fog. Flashes of imagery flickered through his mind’s eye.
A sun-dappled veranda...the soaring turrets of an ancient castle...and a solitary figure, long hair spilling over delicate shoulders as she sat facing away from him. Her face remained stubbornly obscured no matter how hard he tried to see.
He could still feel the phantom ache in his chest from the dream - a desperate longing to reach out, to turn her around and finally put a name to this mysterious woman. But in the dream, he just couldn’t move.
The frustration and the heartache of being so tantalizingly close yet ceaselessly separated had been overwhelming. It made his gut clench with phantom anguish even now, jolted back to waking reality.
Dragging a shaky hand down his face, he tried to calm his ragged breaths. Sweat prickled along his hairline and neck in cold beads as the last few clinging threads of the dream slipped irretrievably through his mental grasp.
All that remained was a hollow ache behind his breastbone - achingly familiar yet utterly inexplicable. It was a soul-deep yearning he couldn’t quite place, like an echo of some precious memory that remained permanently fragmented and just out of reach.