The cab ride had been a blur of city lights streaking past the window and road noise blending with the low thrum of whatever song played on the radio. Ren blinked slowly, feeling unmoored from reality in a way only excessive alcohol could induce.

When the cab rolled to a stop, he handed the driver some rumpled bills without really registering the address or even checking if it was enough to cover the fare. Ren simply stepped out onto the sidewalk, the door thumping shut behind him as the vehicle quickly merged back into the flow of late night traffic.

He stood there motionless for a long moment, the sounds of the city fading into an indistinct white noise. Ren’s unfocused gaze drifted upwards until it landed on a particular window a few floors up, a dim glow of light emanating from behind the curtains.

He wasn’t sure what compelled his leaden feet to carry him toward the apartment building’s entrance. Just knew there was something...a presence he was being inexplicably drawn toward, like a moth to a flame on a primal, instinctual level.

So deep was Ren’s alcohol-soaked trance that he didn’t immediately register the figure emerging from the lobby until she moved into his peripheral vision. Slowly, incredulously, his gaze tracked over to find...her.

Hana paused in the act of hauling a trash bag toward the dumpster, her lithe form haloed in the sickly yellow glow of the outdoor lighting. Ren could only stare with a blank, glazed expression, momentarily struck incoherently.

Perhaps sensing his presence, Hana turned, her dark eyes widening almost comically as they landed on the decidedly out-of-place figure before her. Ren watched her mouth work wordlessly before she seemed to find her voice.

“...D-Dr. Jenkins?” The words left her lips in a hushed utterance of disbelief.

Ren’s only response was to sway slightly on his feet, jaw slightly unhinged and eyes drowsily blinking at her as if struggling to comprehend her existence before him on a primal level.

In his drunken, fuzzy state of mind, Hana’s voice sent a shockwave of recognition ricocheting through his psyche. Like a temporary bolt of clarity piercing through the hazy veil, whispering that he knew this woman...knew her in a bone-deep way that logic couldn’t begin to comprehend.

Hana inched closer with cautious, hesitant steps. The distinct scent of alcohol wafted off Dr. Jenkins in waves, but there was something else too...an aura of profound unmooring.

“Shizumi...” he rumbled, tongue thick around the syllables of her name. “Hana...”

She stilled at the sound, hardly daring to breathe. “Y-yes, Dr. Jenkins? It’s me.”

His brow furrowed deeply, struggling against the hazy fog of inebriation as if trying to hold onto that single lucid thread. When his eyes finally refocused on her face, its vulnerability shining there sent a shockwave through Hana’s core.

“I don’t know what to do,” Ren said, voice cracking. He looked oddly small in that moment, any trace of his usual towering poise and control shattered into pieces around his feet.

Hana’s breath hitched at the man before her now — disheveled and swaying slightly on his feet with glassy eyes brimming with naked desperation — was the complete opposite of the unshakable, icy doctor she knew.

“Dr. Jenkins...” she began again, words stalling in her throat as a thousand questions whirred through her mind.

Before she could voice any of them, his head dropped onto her shoulder with a heavy thud. Hana froze, almost expecting a vision to crash over her, but...nothing. Just the clammy feeling of his sweat-drenched forehead seeping through the thin cotton of her loose, off-shoulder top.

“I hate how she controls my life...” Ren mumbled, his words slightly slurred. “But it’s my fault they got hurt.” The cold dampness on her shoulder suddenly turned warm. Tears? From Dr. Jenkins? Hana’s mind could hardly process it as the broken man before her began to quietly sob against her skin.

Hana’s heart pounded in her ears as Ren’s full weight gradually sagged against her. With each passing second, she felt herself being pulled deeper into the surreal situation of having this normally unflappable man come utterly undone before her eyes.

A light breeze tousled his dark hair, carrying the faint scent of expensive cologne now intermingled with stale whiskey. Hana shivered, though she couldn’t tell if it was from the chill night air or the overwhelming proximity to her commanding senior in such a helplessly vulnerable state.

Where am I supposed to take you? The question burned in her mind as Ren continued mumbling incoherently in response to her queries about his address. Unbidden, images of trying to subtly smuggle him into her apartment flashed through her mind, only to be immediately banished by the vision of Mira’s inevitable smug looks and relentless teasing.

Left with no other options, Hana looped one of Ren’s arms around her shoulders and half-carried, half-dragged him toward the main road to hail a cab. She couldn’t resist glancing around furtively, praying none of their colleagues would happen to witness this impossibly undignified scene.

Finally, they tumbled into the backseat, Ren slumping bonelessly against the far window. Hana sucked in a deep breath, sneaking sidelong looks at his ashen face between directing the driver toward the one place she could think to take him - the hospital itself.

Hana’s gaze lingered on Ren’s crumpled form, feeling utterly adrift in the wake of his shattering breakdown.

The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.

Hana let out a long sigh of relief once she managed to half-carry, half-drag Ren into his private office without anyone seeing them. Dropping him onto the small lounge chair, she stepped back, chest heaving a little.

“Geez, you’re heavier than you look, Dr. Jenkins,” she muttered under her breath, running a hand through her disheveled hair.

Ren was completely out cold now, mouth slightly agape as his head lolled to the side. Hana found herself staring at his tousled dark locks falling messily across his forehead. Her fingers twitched with the urge to gently brush the strands away from his face.

Whoa, get it together. She squeezed her eyes shut and shook her head firmly. “Don’t even go there, Hana. You can’t catch feelings for your boss, especially not him.”

Despite her internal scolding, she couldn’t quite tear her gaze away from his unexpectedly peaceful expression. Ren always seemed to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders. Seeing him so unguarded and vulnerable now stirred up complicated emotions she didn’t want to examine too closely.

Forcing herself to look away, Hana began to straighten up from her squat beside the chair. But then she froze as Ren’s hand suddenly shot out, his slender fingers clamping around her wrist with surprising strength for his drunken state.

“Dr. Jenkins?” she whispered, heart jumping into her throat.

His eyes remained stubbornly closed, but his lips twitched almost imperceptibly. “The favor...” he slurred, voice thick and raspy. “Still...valid?”

Hana’s brow furrowed in confusion. “Favor? What favor are you...” But he didn’t seem to hear her quiet query.

“Yes?” she finally answered hesitantly after his only response was steady breathing.

Seeming to accept that, Ren’s grip went slack once more as he drifted fully back under. Hana slowly extracted her wrist from his limp hand, feeling even more unsettled and lost than before.

**********************************

The loud creaking of the door abruptly jolted Ren from his uneasy slumber. He winced, shielding his eyes against the harsh fluorescent lights as a boisterous voice boomed into the room.

“Well, well! If it isn’t Dr. Ren ‘I like getting wasted on a work-day’ Jenkins!” Dr. Rowan announced with a dramatic flourish.

Ren groaned, one hand shielding his eyes from the harsh light as he began to stir. “Keep it down, would you?” His usually silken voice was rough with fatigue and a no doubt pounding headache.

Squinting against the throbbing in his skull, Ren made out the stocky, grinning figure of his friend and colleague. “Must you be so loud this early, Rowan?” he grumbled, slowly levering himself upright.

Rowan chuckled heartily. “Early? It’s nearly noon, my friend. Though I can’t say I’m surprised to find the esteemed chief of the ER passed out in his office after a night of heavy drinking.”

Ren scowled, rubbing his pounding temples. Only he would be so dedicated to crash right at the hospital in case of alcohol poisoning.

“Here, this ought to help with that epic hangover.” Rowan tossed a bottle of pain pills which Ren caught deftly despite his foggy state.

As he dry-swallowed a couple capsules, Rowan quirked an inquisitive brow. “So who was the lovely lady you were so desperate to rendez-vous with last night? Must have been some secret romance to make you ditch work in such a hurry.”

Ren’s brow furrowed in confusion. Romance? He couldn’t recall anything about a woman or leaving somewhere urgently. In fact, his memory after the fifth or sixth glass of scotch was pretty much blank.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed, deflecting Rowan’s nosy queries.

“I thought for sure you were headed to meet up with some secret woman last night,” Rowan went on slyly. “The way you were adamant about leaving, mumbling about having to go see ‘them’...‘Them’ was just the damn hospital, as always.”

Ren shot him a withering glare, deftly avoiding the implications about secret trysts.

Rowan chuckled, shaking his head. “At least if you drank yourself into oblivion, we would have treated you for alcohol poisoning on the spot!”

Rowan plopped down on the vacant chair across from Ren, a concerned look replacing his usual jovial expression. “So what’s the plan now?”

Ren pinched the bridge of his nose, clearly not eager to delve into the subject. “I’ll figure something out. For now, I just need to...” His voice trailed off vaguely.

Rowan held up his hands in surrender. “Say no more, say no more. I can take a hint when it’s being heavily thrown in my general direction.” He rose with a slight grimace. “You should head home since you’re actually off the clock today, but you know where to find me if you need an ear.”

Ren managed a tight nod of acknowledgment as Rowan showed himself out. Alone once more, he smoothed his hands over his rumpled shirt and slacks, attempting to regain some sense of professional composure. After taking a while to himself, he stepped out into the sterile hospital corridor.

That’s when he spotted Nurse Shizumi approaching from the opposite direction. As soon as her wide eyes landed on him, her cheeks flushed bright pink and she immediately averted her gaze. She hunched her shoulders inward as if trying to make herself smaller, to avoid having to walk too close by him.

Ren furrowed his brow,confused by her overt discomfort at merely being in his presence. His mind raced for any recollection of what he could have committed to cause such an alarming reaction from her.

“Nurse Shizumi,” he called out, his voice softer than usual, betraying a hint of genuine concern.

Hana froze in her tracks, her gloved hands clutching the stack of patient files to her chest. She swallowed hard, her gaze darting nervously around the corridor before finally settling on Ren.

Ren watched in surprise as Nurse Shizumi, or rather Hana, hastily excused herself at the sound of Nurse Audra’s voice. He couldn’t shake the feeling of unease that settled in the pit of his stomach as he witnessed her abrupt departure. Something wasn’t right, and he was determined to uncover the truth.

As Hana disappeared down the corridor, Ren resisted the urge to call out after her. He knew that pushing her further in her current state would only cause more harm than good.

*********************************

Ren’s studio apartment greeted him with a sense of familiarity as he stepped through the door, his exhaustion weighing heavily on his shoulders.

With a heavy sigh, he finally allowed himself to check his phone, greeted by a flurry of messages from his cousin Jiro. He made a mental note to call him later, his mind already preoccupied with other matters.

But it was the last message from his mother that caused Ren’s jaw to tense with frustration. He tossed his phone onto his bed with a grunt of irritation, the weight of his mother’s expectations lingering like a shadow over his thoughts.

Determined to wash away the remnants of the night’s shenanigans, Ren made his way to the shower, the stench of alcohol and sweat clinging to him like a second skin. As the warm water flowed over him, he closed his eyes, trying to collect his scattered thoughts from the night before.

Images flickered in his mind—a blur of drinks with the guys, the disorienting sway of the cab ride home. But then, there was something else—a moment of vulnerability he couldn’t quite grasp. Standing alone in front of a building, his head on someone’s shoulder, tears streaming down his face. And then... Nurse Shizumi’s face flashed before him, her expression a mix of concern and confusion.

Ren’s heart skipped a beat as he abruptly shut off the shower, the memory of Nurse Shizumi’s unexpected presence sending a shiver down his spine. Shutting his eyes, he cursed himself for allowing her to see him in such a vulnerable state, his cheeks burning with embarrassment at the thought.

“What have I done?” He voiced his thoughts out loud.