It was a clear day, and the sun was shining. One could even say that it was perfect. If not for...

“Squawk!” The unruly chicken ran between Pengzi’s legs, narrowly avoiding being caught.

Pengzi cursed under his breath and ran after it, “Come here, you little wretch!”

Of course, the chicken had no such intention. It flapped its wings, gliding above the ground and speeding through the farm at a speed far faster than any chicken was entitled to go. After seeing that it built a gap, it twisted its neck and clucked at Pengzi. It was an offspring of the original spirit chicken that Pengzi bred, and it had learned the essence of how to taunt humans from its mother.

“I swear, today is the day that you get turned into soup,” Pengzi yelled. Tensing his muscles, he began sprinting after the beast. Every movement of his was strong and steady, far more than the average cultivator. When the chicken changed directions, Pengzi flowed with it. Every part of his body was bursting with zen.

After a couple back and forth chases, the bird was boxed between a wall and Pengzi. It’s only choice was to jump, and that’s exactly what it did. Surprising both itself and Pengzi, it flew up like a bolt of lightning. Then, it recovered and started flapping its wings while clucking to celebrate its freedom.

“You little…” Pengzi wasn’t angry, far from it. Rice Seven was the best spirit chicken he had bred yet. It was so fast that even he couldn’t catch it. The only person on the farm that could catch the damn bird was probably Xun. And even that was a bit of a question with the chicken’s new move.

Instead, Pengzi swung around to face his other chickens. All of them were spirit chickens in one way or another. The original chicken, Rice One, had settled into retirement in her old age and was busy teaching her children and grandchildren on how to taunt their humans. Five chicks nodded along to every one of her clucks and squeaks.

Pengzi grabbed a handful of uncooked spirit rice and sprinkled in her direction. The chicks waited until Rice One ate before pecking at the grains on the ground.

At least they know manners.

Pengzi glanced around the farm and locked onto his next “disciple.” Rice Seven, still flying in the air, squawked with glee as it watched him finally terrorize another chicken.

—

Zhanghao was used to the commotion from Pengzi and his chickens by now. Every night, her partner came home with the slight scent of poultry. But she smoothed that over with a scent powder she made from one of her plants. And more important, he was coming home with a wide smile almost every night. That alone was enough. She could put up with bad smells and a lot more to see that smile.

While Pengzi played with his chickens, she turned back to tending her garden. It was a small plot of land compared to the terraces they still had to maintain. But taking care of the spirit farm was no longer the monumental task it had once been. She could single-handedly take care of the terraces within a single hour, watering, destroying pests, and nurturing young shoots with her techniques.

She loved the feeling of using wood and water techniques. The other elements felt wrong in some way, especially fire. And she was using a wood technique to infuse more zhen into the plants in her garden. Even though her constitution had gotten a lot more familiar with the poisons, she still wore protective gear out of habit, and to not accidentally have traces of the extremely deadly substances when she went to handle the food. Xun had taught her how to layer zhen on her skin such that it would be like a glove but she still preferred the feeling of rough cloth against her hand.

Suddenly, the squawking got quite a bit louder. Zhanghao turned around to find Pengzi, chasing a chicken around the house and almost straight into her little grove of extremely deadly plants.

“Rice Eleven!” Zhanghao yelled. She sometimes had trouble keeping track of all the chickens, but this one had a distinct marking on its wing that made it easy to identify.

The guilty chicken looked at Zhanghao and through its small beady eyes, Zhanghao could see the fear it showed. It probably remembered the last time that Zhanghao fed the chickens. She had been particularly annoyed by their noises late at night and had placed both a laxative and sedative in their food.

The result was spectacular.

The next morning, she found a flock of chickens that obeyed every one of her commands. If only humans were as simple as that.

With all of its efforts, Rice Eleven tried to change its direction. But it had underestimated how fast it was going and was barreling straight into the plants. The outcome at that point would be one where it became fertilizer while Zhanghao had to rehabilitate the plants.

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

At the last possible moment, Pengzi found a burst of speed and smacked the chicken out of the way. Borrowing the force, it slid to the side and away from the plants. When it found enough leverage to stop, it turned to look accusingly at Pengzi.

“Sorry, sorry!” Pengzi consoled the chicken as he ran up to it. “Are you hurt anywhere? I didn’t mean to use that much force. Here, have some more rice.”

Zhanghao watched from the side, amused. Eventually, the chicken huffed and walked away, while Pengzi shot her an apologetic look and went to find another target to terrorize.

—

Xun watched the bustle on his farm while sitting with Dashan on a ledge a bit higher up the mountain. “They are quite lively,” he joked.

“You could say that again,” Dashan snorted. “Look, there's a second chicken sneaking up on him, and I'm pretty sure that one is at the Peak of the Foundation Realm. It looks like your friend’s going to be in trouble.”

Xun watched as Pengzi fought the two chickens. Contrary to what Dashan predicted, Pengzi held his own. The chicken’s scratches that would have easily torn through a cultivator’s body barely left a scratch on Pengzi.

“It’s thanks to you, the Body Cultivation Arts really helped,” Xun said. He reached behind him and brought out two jugs. He opened a third jug and poured it into two bowls meant for drinking. “And speaking of help, we brewed a couple more jugs of spirit liquor for you. This time, we used a couple of dates so it’s a bit sweeter. Let me know if it’s to your taste. The others are buried and aging.”

Dashan smiled as he stored the jugs into his storage bag. “It was nothing. The Treasure Vitality Path was once a big path within the Sacred Gate Sect but it was abandoned a couple of decades ago when there wasn’t a Consecration Realm elder from that path. If Pengzi reaches the Consecration Realm, then the sect will only reward me for it.”

“Still, thank you.” Xun toasted Dashan and poured the liquor down his throat. The two of them didn’t have the most stable of friendships, but for where their relationship started, the fact that they were drinking together was a miracle.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Dashan asked as he also downed the liquor.

“I just wanted to check what you’ve already told me, the sect doesn't care about the scriptures its disciples practice?”

“We don’t. If you choose one of the twelve paths, you’re considered an inner disciple and we’ll pour more resources onto you. But we’re a demonic sect, after all. We pillage and steal, if you believe that a scripture that you’ve come across is better for you, then we encourage you to practice it. If you can reach the Consecration Realm with it, then you’ll have added a new path to the sect.”

Xun nodded.

“Speaking of that,” Dashan continued. “What’s going on with you and the Phantom Spirit Path?”

In the past few months, the Phantom Spirit Path had become the second-largest path in the sect, only behind the Green Undying Path that the Sect Leader practiced. And Yuwei had sent one of his disciples to ask Xun if he would join the path.

“I told them no,” Xun said with a smile. He gestured around at the farm. “I can’t let this farm go, I guess.”

“Sure.” Dashan shrugged. “It’s your life. As long as you complete the mandatory mission soon, you’re free to do whatever you want.”

The mention of mandatory missions slowed Xun’s smile. He poured himself another drink as he composed his next words.

“Are there really only two choices? To either leave and hunt Fangqiu for two years, or find a cultivator from the Twin Beast or the Purple Flower sect and bring back the head as proof of the kill?”

Dashan nodded. “I’d say that the second mission is better. But it’s risky.”

“Why are we fighting the Twin Beast Sect? I know I wasn’t wrong when I saw their disciples joining the attack against the Nine Thunder Sect.”

Dashan made a face. “Well... yes, but also no. We had managed to bring over almost half of the Twin Beast Sect into our fold. The plan was to take over both the Twin Beast and Nine Thunder Sect in one go, leaving us with near complete control of the Seventeen Mountains. But, in the Nine Thunder fight, Yuwei commanded them to join the fight because our plan was activated early. The Twin Beast sect leader managed to rally the ones still loyal to him and take control of the sect while our people in the sect were distracted. He activated the sect protection formation of their sect.”

“So how are we supposed to hunt them?”

“Both sides are letting their Foundation Realm cultivators come out. Since elders from all sides were injured, and no one knew exactly how the fight would end if they got involved once again.”

“Aah.” Xun now understood. “So, it's a battle of attrition now.”

His conversation partner nodded. “There’s another choice. For the first mission, you could just go hide in some hole somewhere for two years and come back. No one knows where Fangqiu went. One of the elders went to track him and came back empty handed.”

“But Fangqiu will one day come back,” Xun stated.

Dashan fell silent. They both knew Fangqiu from their student days. The cultivator wasn’t the type to just leave. The next time they saw Fangqiu, he’d either be dead at the hands of some elder of the Sacred Gate Sect, or he’d wipe the sect from the cultivation world.

Xun took a third drink. “Why are we talking about such sad things? The real reason why I wanted to see you is to congratulate you.”

“Looks like you have ears in the sect,” Dashan said.

Xun smiled. The age-old cultivator tradition of pulling secrets out of another person without creating mortal enemies was an art. After living for so many years, cultivators began to do this instinctively, regardless if they were talking to friends or simple acquaintances. Dashan still had a long way to go. His moves right now were a bit too obvious.

“It’s big news, the newest personal disciple of the Joyful Chorus Path. That kind of stuff travels fast.”

Dashan laughed and toasted Xun. “It couldn’t have been possible without you. With how many Nine Thunder disciples I brought back to the sect, I almost earned enough merits to rival the amount that the elders earned in the siege.”

“And that’s worth another toast.” Xun refilled both of their bowls and drank the liquor.

He pointed at the bottom of the farm, and they both laughed at the scene of Pengzi being bullied by his empowered chickens.