XXX.

The Atlantic Wastes – Present Day

“I take it the buck wasn’t what it appeared to be,” Vagari proposed, “was it?”

“No, nor were the dozens after it,” Elizabeth said softly. “I was the only one to survive the event – the activation of the Forge. It was a kindness, not to see them as they were, my colleagues, infected… twisted into something else. Kinder still that they didn’t have to live as they were.”

“Was it?” Vagari asked solemnly. “You were only shown what this ‘Lamb’ wanted you to see.”

“It’s okay,” she told him, “you can say it… GOD.”

Vagari knit his brows and set the ancient tome aside. He stared down at the cover for a moment, at the monstrous face etched into the stone. “I’m not convinced it is GOD,” he replied truthfully but softly. “What does that make her?” Vagari asked, pointing to the book. “If it’s all as biblical as you say? That thing had access to your head, your memories… If this is the devil you know, what says that that isn’t the devil you don’t?”

“I have faith, Eddy,” the three-eyed girl said with a warm smile. “Just like you do with the book-ook…” She stuttered but didn’t seem to notice as she continued. “All worldly salvation, that’s the basis of it – faith. That’s the basis of it – fa-fa-faith.”

Something was wrong. The image of her began to fluctuate like a corrupted file – stuttering and pixelating before breaking completely. Vagari stared in shock and quiet dread as the projected personality stood frozen before him under the night sky, as shattered as the moon above them. Whatever the sudden spasmodic disconnection meant couldn’t possibly be good, so Vagari hastily snatched up the long-sought tome. Clutching it tight to his breast, he scanned the twists of sandstone beyond the alcove with darting eyes. With his free hand he reached over to BP, aiming to shake her awake, but found nothing but sand where she had been. “BP?” He uttered at first before echoing himself in a shout. “BP! Where are you?! BP!”

Vagari shot to his feet, spinning on his heels, scanning the horizon for anything – anyone. Once, twice he spun, seeing no signs of BP. His breath caught in his throat. Had she been grabbed? Had she been there at all? Was it all an illusion? Was he even awake? What was happening? “Imagine, if you will…” a voice called out, drawing Vagari’s attention. It was a hollow depth, solemn and dignified. “A little sparrow, caught in a windstorm – nay, a hurricane – guided naught but by sweet songs of better days beyond, far beyond those terrible winds. Songs it hears, songs of sunny days, of kindly winds – biddable and bland days, where every well wish of the poor little bird is granted at the slightest cry of desire. The sparrow, it beats its wings against the roar of sword-like winds that, if he tarries, will cut him to shreds, and all in search of that candied hymn of yesteryear.” The voice echoed from all around him, bouncing off every rock and twist of sandstone. “What is sadder, I wonder? The fledgling seeking out the comfort of a nest that no longer has a place for him? Or, the songbird in its little gilded cage, calling out for freedom from the only world it has ever known? What say you, little bird, in this fanciful allegory of the blind leading the blind?”

Vagari tried in vain to follow the voice, but only found himself face to face with the shattered image of the three-eyed girl. No, not just her. A great shadowed thing now loomed over her, a wispy figure of personified darkness. “Who are you?!” Vagari exclaimed. “What have you done? Where’s BP?!” The great shadow stroked the cheek of the fractured image and laughed darkly.

“I’ve done nothing, yet,” the umbric creature claimed in a thinly veiled threat. “I wanted to see the thorn in my side once before it gets plucked. I’m honestly surprised it’s you though, Abaddon.”

There was that name again, Abaddon. Was this another demon of Esh’s cabal? “You know me then?” Vagari said, not denying the name. Perhaps if he played along he could get more information out of them. “I’m afraid you have me at a disadvantage then.”

“Oh I know you, little bird…” the looming shadow said with a phantom cackle itching at the back of his mind. “You’re the boy who just had to push the button, right? No price too great for you, was there? A notion you still cling to, it seems.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Vagari claimed with a hiss. “Who are you?!”

“I think you do, Abaddon” the other insisted, ignoring his question. “Or should I call you Eddy?” That ghostly witches cackle rebounded once more. “You’re not really Abaddon, are you? He would never have left his mind so unguarded. He would never have been foolish enough to make me his enemy.”

“You’re Tehom, Xu’s master, aren’t you?” Vagari suggested, clutching the book tighter. “He failed, so you came to get your hands dirty.”

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

“You’re correct, partly,” the shade admitted. “Edward Valentino, one of the project heads. A flock of thirteen, I believe. Thirteen fools playing with fire. Here you are again, toying with the flames that burnt you once already. You knew the price was blood, but you didn’t tell anyone, did you? You betrayed mankind, just like you are now.”

“Save it,” Vagari spat with a snarl. “I’m going to right my wrongs, I’m going to undo this hell!”

“Right your wrongs? How, when you can’t even admit them to yourself?” Tehom stated. “You hide from the truth, but I can see it plain as day. You are wicked. A cruel thing, crueler than Abaddon could ever hope to be. You sacrificed them all – your friends, your family, the world! All to satisfy your morbid curiosity. And you’re doing it again. Is this really the mark you envisioned you’d make on history, I wonder?”

“Shut up,” Vagari uttered threateningly, a rage building up inside him. But, once again, the shade ignored his demands. “You don’t know shit about me!”

“What’s there to know?” the dark voice questioned. “You’re a shell of a man, wracked with guilt, and shame, tantalized by the lies you tell yourself and the ones dangled before you. What did she tell you, that admixture of rotten souls?” the towering thing continued, its dark and haunting voice rolling forth like distant thunder. “That it wasn’t your fault? That it would have happened anyways? Beckoning lies, sweet things to lure you in. But you know the truth – that none of this could have happened if you didn’t want it to.”

“I said shut up!” Vagari screamed through gnashing teeth. “Shut your lying mouth! If I knew… I would have never, not ever, turned that damned thing on!” Vagari charged the shapeless thing, swiping his claws wildly, ineffectively trying to tear the figure to shreds. “I wouldn’t have turned it on! I wouldn’t have let them go! I wouldn’t have let all this happen!”

In the blink of an eye, the shadow was out of reach, wholly unaffected by his assault. Vagari grit his teeth and glared. “But you did know,” Tehom jabbed tauntingly. “You did know – and you wanted it, more than anything else! You wanted to feel special, to be renown, to be a paragon of your people, no matter the cost. Your wife and child, your friends, family, and everyone else – a small price to pay for self-recognition!”

“That’s not true!” Vagari cried, charging again, slashing left and right, carving deep gashes into the sandstone where the mocking being had been but a racing heartbeat before. “I loved them, I didn’t want to see them hurt!”

“Lies! More lies. You didn’t want to see them at all,” the voice spat viciously. “If they weren’t there to further your goals, better for them to not exist at all. You can lie to yourself, little bird, and you can lie to all the poor things foolish enough to shelter from the storm under your wings, but you cannot lie to me. I can see the truth of it, thinly veiled behind your self-deceptions. I see not a man in search of redemption, but the same old prodding thing – willing to sacrifice kin and kith to your selfish desires. Haven’t enough people died to feed your arsonists fire, Eddy? Or do you feel that you’ve come too far - what’s one more innocence to the flame?!”

Vagari shouted in a rage, spitting vitriol. “I never meant to!” he cried out. “How could I have known?!” Vagari clapped his hands together and spat forth a word of power, “Hengnis!” The cone of fire tore through the night sky with the fury of a dragon’s roar, only outmatched by Vagari’s unbridled rage as he shouted over it. “It’s your fault!” He cursed accusingly. “You fucking things! It’s your fault they’re dead, that everyone’s dead! You left them here to find and shoot ourselves with!” Vagari poured all his anger, all his hate, and all his regret into the fire. He shut his eyes and screamed, those forgotten faces fresh in his mind for the first time since he abandoned his old life and all those tied to it. The memories attacked him like vengeful ghosts, clawing at his very soul. The faces cried out for him, all at once – overlapping, strangling cries.

“Energy levels are dropping, Val! The A.I. didn’t catch it, but they’re dropping fast!” howled the voices. “I can’t! Val! I can’t access the systems at all! Akosha is offline – the A.I. is down! E-Eddy… What… what is that thing? It’s beautiful! A scar upon the soul… You’ve got a little girl on the way, don’t you? Why didn’t you just run?! Why didn’t I just run away?!”

“Shut up! Be quiet! Quiet-quiet-quiet!” Vagari shouted back at them, the eruption of pneumatic fire lessening with each struggled breath, dying down until it was but a candleflame in the palms of his hands – a mirror of his will to fight. Vagari stared into the weakly dancing light, the only light in a world of unending blackness. BP was gone, and so was the shadowed thing and the broken form of Trois. Once again he was all alone in the hollow darkness of his own existence, the weight of what he had done renewed upon his shoulders. He begged for the voices to come back, for the flame not to go out. “Eddy,” a soothing voice called to him, “what have you done?”

It was a woman. It was her, the love of his life, his Sephora. She had a wavering smile, brown eyes tinted gold by the flickering flame, made misty by the tears welling in them. “I… I’m sorry,” Val whispered weakly. “I thought it would be fine if we gave it more power… I thought if – if we attached it to the grid, it… that it would have all the energy it needed. I didn’t know it needed more than that! Please… Please believe me! Would you please believe me? I – I would do anything – anything – to take it back! To take it all back!”

“You say that, Eddy,” Sephora uttered softly, tucking the twists of her hair behind her ears, “but even now you’re lying. Even now you’re choosing you over everyone else.”

“No,” Val pleaded, “please… I’m not lying! I’m…”

“You’re lying,” she said painedly, those building tears spilling over. “You can’t face it, even now? You think you’ve changed… But you’re still selfish and a liar. You act only for yourself – to alleviate your guilt! Without any consciousness to others, you barrel through our lives, consuming all we are and ever will be to meet your goals. Stepping stones in your selfish crusade, that’s all anyone ever was to you…”

“That’s not true,” he insisted, he lied. “That… that isn’t true! I loved you… I loved all of you! I – I just… want to fix this.”

“You can’t fix this, Eddy,” Sephora said, leaning in. “There’s nothing you can do. There is no going back.” With one final breath, she blew out the flame.