XLVII.
Tehom’s Crimson Keep – The Megacity
“Wretched ungrateful thing… You’re a mistake! You’re nothing but a homunculus – a byproduct. You don’t even have a soul. You’re nothing. Nothing but an ear grown on a rat’s back – and in my way…” Xu’s words bounced and resonated in her mind as she stared deep within the standing mirror before her. BP had never really seen herself before, just the vague imagery reflected in puddles and rusted metal. Now, she could see herself clear as day, see the thing everyone else saw. She slid a hand down the face of it and tried not to hate herself – to turn her hate towards him, towards Xu. And she did hate him, she swore she did, over and over she swore. She hated him for leaving her. She hated him for showing her the only kindness she had known for years, and for showing her that it had all been a lie. She loved him, and she hated that she loved him.
BP made to strike the glass, but let her fist fall limp to her side instead. Vagari would have lashed out, threw a tantrum, and then sobbed his feelings out on the floor like no one could hear him – but she just didn’t have that in her. No, she barely had it in her to be angry. She wanted to be angry. She wanted to be tormented with fury and spend that rage upon him for what he had done and was probably doing still. She wanted to be, but it was a struggle to keep the fire fed. BP sighed and sat down, shifting her gaze from the reflection to her hands. They were gnarled, stubby little things, barely useful for much anything, but she made them work. She made all she was work, despite everything, despite her shortcomings, literal or otherwise, in spite of what he said. She made it work. BP hadn’t given up when Xu had left; she hadn’t given up when she had gotten herself sealed in his office; she hadn’t given up at any one point in her life, and she wasn’t about to give up now. She knew what she had to do, and she wouldn’t give up until she did it. She would make things work. BP clicked her tongue and with a curt nod she looked back to the mirror and told herself, “You are more than an ear on a rat, more than the circumstances of your birth, and more than you realize. More than he ever will. And soon… Soon it will be time to prove that…” With a sigh, BP left the mirror behind.
BP honestly believed in Vagari’s vision of the future, of a world without fear, without the harsh tragedies of this one – but she also realized that to walk without fear one needed to carry a big stick. Her sibling, the Amalgamation and it’s forebearer, her forebearer, was a very big stick to carry. That was the plan: she would take control of the Amalgamation, and use it as a buffer and booster to, in turn, take control of what Vagari had dubbed ‘the Leviathan’. With such a creature under their command they might be able to challenge the Tevat. At least, that was what Tehom told her, and what BP told herself. She tried her best to focus on the positive aspects of the challenge and not the overwhelming fear that came with it.
Tehom believed her psychic abilities were strong enough for the task – calling her a ‘Class-3’ with potential for promotion, whatever that meant. It would be a battle of mind over matter, instead of capabilities, Tehom had sworn, but BP couldn’t help but point out to herself how much mind and matter would be involved in that battle. Her other siblings, Xu’s Synbio soldiers, were easy enough to control – they were basically blank, made only to follow commands. The more refined version, however, the one that had attacked them outside the Tevat, had been a different story. When she had tried to take control, it had rejected her infiltration completely. If she hadn’t been able to influence that one, what real chance did she have against something that had countless minds within it, all fighting to take control? And then the Leviathan?! She would make it work, BP told herself, because she had to. Everyone was counting on her – Tehom, Vagari, the whole world! No pressure. None at all. She didn’t want to cannon ball off the nearest balcony to escape at all – not in the least. She would make it work, just like she always did.
Knowing next to nothing about what had truly happened at Site-B didn’t help either. They, Vagari and herself, knew nothing about the experiments going on there. Tehom knew, but she only dangled the information just out of their reach, using a taste of it as a treat for good behavior. What BP did know was, while Xu had used what they had learned there from their experiments to create his army, the experiment itself hadn’t started out with that goal in mind. It had been about something else – resurrecting the Shassuru Nintu by reconstituting her biological form. It failed catastrophically and they had to scrap the project, though its failure had been a mystery to them until recently – until Vagari. It was a whole lot to take in suddenly, BP thought to herself. The Xu she had known had been all about science and nothing but, to the point she hadn’t even heard the word ‘magic’ before. Now, come to find out, his science might as well have been magic – occult resurrection of a dead goddess and all. Maybe there really wasn’t much of a difference between the two in the end.
Having moved to the bathroom, BP tugged down the clothes her and Vagari had drying over the tub. Both Vagari and Tehom had been locked in some kind of trance and she had since lost interest in watching the struggles and triumphs of the city’s populus, so she had left the pair behind to tidy up and spend a while in her own company. It had been relatively pleasant for an hour or two before the thoughts snuck in. Now it was less so. She tossed the stack of clothes onto the end of her bed to begin the slow process of sorting. Xu hadn’t given her so much as a rag to wear in her first fourteen years of life, BP thought to herself as she flattened out her shirt. On the other hand, he hadn’t made her wear shoes either, but on the same hand, different angle, he probably didn’t care much if she had stubbed her toes. With Vagari, even something so inconsequential like that seemed to matter. The things he made her do were because he genuinely cared about her wellbeing, and not just for scientific value. Was that really all she had been to him? Just a steppingstone to a greater discovery? Just the byproduct of the one before?
Nabu’s red light pulsed above her head. “Time for training already?” BP asked, a question she knew the A.I. wouldn’t answer. “Okay-okay… Feels like I just got in here. You know… I wouldn’t be opposed if this laundry was folded when I came back. Eh?” The light only pulsed faster in response. “Fine… Let me put pants on! Jeez… I miss Aan.” BP quickly got dressed and made her way to the door, giving the standing mirror one last glance before stepping into the hallway beyond. Finding Tehom’s study would be a simple task, despite the path to it never being the same as before. All she had to do was follow the light and she would always end up exactly where she needed to be.
Tehom was a strange creature, that BP didn’t really know what to think or feel about. She had been the source of all their problems up to present, in one way or another, but now they, her and Vagari, seemed to be playing nice – at least when they weren’t getting in shouting matches and throwing furniture. After all that had happened, it was just strange seeing Vagari so readily cooperating with her. Did he blame her less than Xu for the death of his family? The threat was great, sure, but BP didn’t know if she could be so tolerant in his place. Or maybe it was that he just felt the way BP did about Xu. Vagari used to know Tehom, both in a past life and in his current one. Maybe he and BP shared their struggle of love and hate. It was something of a comforting thought.
Either way, no matter how loathsome of a creature Tehom seemed to be towards all else, she appeared to BP a rather competent and attentive teacher. She was far more patient with failure than Xu ever was, even going so far as to tell her that the road to success was paved in failures. That was another comforting thought, especially with how successful their adventure had been so far. Maybe it all was building toward a great big monument of success. Vagari had his doubts, but BP was hopeful.
The training itself seemed wholly odd, at first. Mental exercises, Tehom had called them; building shapes and structures in her mind, or people even, with a baseline of being imagery that she had to move joint by joint or build stone by stone. It was odd at first, yes, but now it was beginning to feel like second nature to her. It felt like a muscle that had never been used before, but now that she knew of its existence, she couldn’t stop using it. The training had two purposes: manipulation and self-control. It was about projecting her will in a refined manner. The construction of dolls to bend and move would strengthen her ability to control the minds of others, while building structures would help protect her own from feedback and retaliation.
Vagari was supposed to be doing the exercises as well, but hated the struggle, practically unable to sit still for ten minutes straight whenever he tried. Tehom had to constantly reprimand him for his agitation and impatience with the matter – which he usually took as an attack, devolving their sessions into another screaming match. BP, on the other hand, found them to be rather calming, even something to look forward to every day. The task ahead was a daunting one, for sure, but inch by inch, minute by minute, she felt more and more prepared to face it.
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The door to Tehom’s study was ahead now, but remained closed, barring her entrance. She placed a hand upon the red brick and bade it open. It didn’t, which was wholly odd since it was their scheduled time – wasn’t it? BP looked about for Nabu’s light but couldn’t see it anywhere. She felt a spike of annoyance rise within her. “Really? What, did you just want me out of our room?” BP exclaimed, tossing her hands up. “Rude. But… well, I’m here now.” BP knocked on the door and called out. “Tehom, hello?!” she hollered through the door, her avian ear pressed up against it. “Open up! I want to talk about my progress. I think I’m ready to try and… use it – my ability! Maybe not on anything too big, but…”
Suddenly the red bricks flashed with Nabu’s eerie glow as the doorway began to open. What once was a solid wall began to crumble, the barrier breaking away as grains of sand, instantly absorbed into the structure around it. BP nearly fell forward over the threshold but managed to catch herself in the stumble. “Hello, BP,” Tehom projected from her throne at the far end of the room. “Come in. Pardon the delay. I was taking advantage of our predicament.”
“Predicament?” BP echoed cautiously as she waddled into the room. The ruined desk remained where Tehom had thrown it hours before, and Vagari too in his chair. “Hello Vagari!” BP called over cheerily. “Pulling an all-nighter?”
“Well, that brings us to our predicament,” Tehom announced, motioning for her to come forward with a little more haste. BP did so, meeting Vagari at his side where she would tug insistently at his arm. “What do you mean? Hell-o-o-o?” She pressed nonchalantly. Vagari was as still as a board and twice as quiet. A look of panic spread across BP’s features, and her eyes darted accusingly to the creature sitting across from them. “What did you do?!”
“To put him in this state? Not a thing,” Tehom answered between a deep exhale and a shake of her massive crown. “This is his own doing, I’m afraid. His mind has proven to be woefully underdeveloped, despite his tapping into the Shassuru aspect. I had hoped Nintu’s latent soul would provide guidance, a buffer against the dangers of the Abzu. But it was too much to hope for a little diligence on his part, it seems.” Tehom sighed harshly through clenched teeth, her black eyes falling heavily upon BP before her. “I could conquer the world with two of you, my dear. But, instead, I have to save it with one of him. Fate is cruel to us all.”
“How long has he been like this?” BP asked softly, staring up at Vagari’s frozen face.
“Three hours,” Tehom announced casually with a curt wave of her hand as if it were no big thing. “But, before you start chastising my inaction, it isn’t uncommon for these dives to take quite some time.”
“So… maybe nothing’s wrong?” BP suggested in question, looking for any hint in Tehom’s skeletal features that that could be true. She showed none. “What was he even doing?”
“As I said, he was delving into the Abzu,” replied Tehom. “A training not too dissimilar to your own. Instead of building shapes, he was to find one – the face of our enemy, the outsider that has been pulling the Weħghedh’s strings. That’s your friend the ‘Godhead’, in case you didn’t know. I can’t imagine Vagari has been much of a teacher in things arcane like Perdngħwehs. So, let us turn this into a teaching moment, shall we?”
“Fine,” BP replied dully, clutching Vagari’s thumb in the palm of her hand. “I’ll do anything if it will help him.”
“I shall keep that in mind,” cooed Tehom viciously. “Then, let us begin with the basics: the three elements of True-Life. Vagari would call these: Soma – the body or physical form; Pneuma – the spirit or manifestation of will; and Psyche – the soul, what makes you you. Kwol, Soħiwl, and Men in the First Tongue. Life’s existence is a balance of these three elements.”
“Vagari mentioned pneuma before, I think,” BP noted out loud. “It’s magic, right? I’ve seen him use it a handful of times to summon fire, or lightning even.”
“To most it might as well be,” Tehom admitted. “But it is more than the spells of fairytales, more even than the Words of Power he vaguely grasps the concept of. Mastery of these elements allow us to impose our will upon reality in a great number of ways… Today I shall teach you one of these ways – a technique I’m sure you will grasp with excellence. A form of astral travel in which you will project your body of light – a construct of body, mind, and spirit – into the void. Now, doesn’t that sound fun?”
“I don’t think I can do that…” BP said quietly.
“Nonsense,” Tehom denied sharply. “You can, and you will. If you want to draw this buffoon back to reality, that is. Don’t worry, it is much safer than what we’ve attempted. No chance at all for you to get lost. Your soul and spirit will be tethered firmly to your body. You won’t even lose consciousness.”
“No – you don’t understand!” BP exclaimed, tears welling in her eyes. “I can’t! I don’t have a soul.”
For a long moment Tehom just stared at her in silence, a weighty gaze that made BP shiver. “I suppose I can’t fault you for being ignorant of your own being,” Tehom said at the moment’s end. “You have a soul – a very unique one. Out of all the homunculi produced in Xu’s simulacrum projects, you are the only sentient one. The only one who can think, feel, love, and hate. Why do you think that is?”
“I… I don’t know,” BP admitted sullenly to both Tehom and to herself. “I don’t know anything about me, who or what I am! Just that I’m a byproduct – hence my name, BP: Byproduct 2-8-57. An ear on a rat’s back.”
Tehom returned to the contemplative silence and her heavy gaze. She clicked the roof of her mouth loudly and exhaled a sigh. “I am not here to console you,” She uttered bluntly, breaking her silence. “But I will tell you the facts. We all are the results of experiments, BP, the results of directed efforts with an intended outcome in the minds of our creators. All of us. I was created for a purpose by the Blessed Mother – but, that purpose isn’t all I am. That was her basest belief, that we are more than the sum of our parts, and more than the end of a directed effort. Even she was the result of an experiment, drawn forth by the First, the GOD of Gods, and given form and instinct. She knew what she was, who, and what she was meant to do, but she rebelled. She chose not to be the sum of her parts, to not be ruled by the designs of another. She chose to become part of her own experiment instead of just being the result of another’s. She created us, created mankind, who in turn experimented on their own - copulating, creating others of their kind, spreading about like viral agents. Quite disgusting really. Decidedly unclean,” Tehom seethed through her teeth. “But… As he would no doubt tell you, our patient friend here: we are not our parents. We do not carry around the sins of our fathers. You, and you alone decide who you are, whether you follow the path laid out for you as I have or cut your own as Vagari has. In the end, the decision is yours, as are the consequences. To deny fate or embrace it. This has always been the basis of the Great Mother’s war, the right to choose.”
BP stared up at the grotesque shape before her with watery eyes and full intent to throw her stubby arms around her. For not being consolation, Tehom’s words had struck the same chord. She was right, it didn’t matter who or what Xu had intended for her to do or be. What mattered most was how she decided to live her life. It was her choice – the choice to see herself as a byproduct of someone else’s choices, or as BP, the results of her own. History didn’t have to control the future. BP resisted the urge to toss herself at Tehom for what she thought of as a very well-deserved hug. She had a feeling Tehom wouldn’t be half as receptive as Vagari was. So, BP settled for a ‘thank you’ and the declaration that she would take her words to heart. “Good,” Tehom stated cooly. “Be sure you do – because I need you focused on what you’re about to attempt.”
“I thought you said it wasn’t dangerous?” BP questioned with a sudden spike of nervousness.
“I said you wouldn’t get lost, little one,” Tehom corrected with a skeletal grin as she tilted her massive head forward. “I said nothing about there being no danger. Nothing we do is without danger – to ourselves or to others. Least of all, working with forces some might deem unnatural.”
BP clenched her fists tight around Vagari’s hand and stared up in his eyes. They had always been distant, black pools, but never vacant, never truly void. They were now. She reached out, felt for his mind. It was there, more so than her siblings, but not by much – a sliver, a string. “To find him…” BP began, looking back to Tehom in her gaudy throne, “I’ll do what I have to do… but, why me? You said you were made to have mastery over psychic stuff… Wouldn’t it make more sense for you to do it?”
“Of course,” Tehom agreed without so much as a hint of modesty. “My abilities are much more disciplined and attuned for the job, yes… But it is no secret to either of us how very much he despises me. You remember this morning – or has the T.V. done away with your memory already? Finding him isn’t the wall I would run into, little one. It’s drawing him out. Whatever has happened to him, it set him well off the path. It set him running.” Tehom said, her droning voice lowering to chthonic depths. She exhaled harshly between clenched teeth. “My voice is the last one he would run to. Don’t you think?”
That BP couldn’t deny in the slightest. Instead, she simply nodded and turned to face Vagari once more. The dead look on his face seemed to have relaxed a bit already. BP chose to believe it was her eloquent and melodic voice. “Alright, here I go…” BP announced to herself, giving Vagari’s hand another squeeze before shifting her bulbous gaze back to Tehom. “W-what do I do, actually?”
“The same as every day before,” Tehom instructed with a chuckle. “First, you start with the construct – the foundation – brick by brick, to give yourself an anchor point. A watchtower will do, something high up where you can see all but none can reach you. Close your eyes. Do you see it?”
“Yes,” BP said, shutting her toadish eyes tight, “I see it…”
“Good, good,” Tehom cooed, her cavernous voice growing distant to the ear but close to the mind. “We will work together for this… I will guide you, but you must convince him to follow. Now, reach out. Call to him. Be the voice that beckons him home.”