The local blacksmith had fitted us with the best armor he had - A lightweight Moonstone armor that felt even lighter than the leather armor I was accustomed to wearing.

We ran as fast as we could, toward what I had come to terms with would probably be the end of me in Purgatory, whatever that meant for me in real life.

“Are you sure this is the fastest way to the gate?” I shouted between breaths.

“Nope, never been there. But we're headed toward the forest's center,” Gloria replied, upping her speed. I was struggling to keep up, but a quick tap on my trinket gave me a boost. I couldn't help but grin as I overtook her, sensing her surprised glance.

"There! Imps at twelve o'clock!" Gloria exclaimed, spotting the five miscreants that had eluded us in the village. She slowed to a jog. "Should we tail them?"

I shouted, unsheathing my moonblade. The imps lobbed a trio of fireballs at me, but I skipped the shield this time. Despite direct hits to my chest, my vision’s color didn't even flicker. I cut through them as I charged, not pausing to confirm their demise. Something was building inside me—a power that went beyond mere trinkets—and I couldn't wait to unleash it on Volcanic.

"Tim, wait up!" Gloria's voice trailed behind me. I looked over my shoulder to see her lagging far back. Perfect. There was no way I'd let her throw her life away battling Volcanic. Channeling my inner Usain Bolt, I darted forward, guided by an inexplicable pull towards my destination. I felt like Frodo under the weight of the One Ring, only my quest came with less hiking and more incineration.

Gloria's indignant shouts filled the air, and I was more scared of the fiery tempest behind me than the inferno ahead. That's when I saw it: the portal.

Massive doesn't begin to describe it. It was like something out of an Egyptian pharaoh's fever dream—an arch towering 50 feet high and spanning 20 feet across. Its moonblade-black surface was inscribed with glowing letters that defied translation. And there, standing—er, burning—in front of it was Volcanic. He had made it back, and I could see his aura glowing yellow, a sign he was regaining strength.

I skidded to a halt and glanced back to confirm Gloria was still far away. I plucked a string on my lute, sending my moonblade flying toward the elemental.

"Hey Volcanic, if your brain exploded, the mess wouldn’t even disrupt your non-existent hair!" I hollered, continuing my lute-playing to guide the blade. The blade struck true, darkening Volcanic's aura. Once the blade had done its song and dance, I stopped playing. I had to conserve some energy; I wasn't running on renewable resources here.

25 breaths.

“I was going to cast detect thoughts, but I don't think I'm going to find anything up there!” I screamed and closed my eyes, hoping.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

But when I opened them, he was still there. Worse, my eyes caught the blaze of a fireball speeding toward me. Dodging it by a hair's breadth, I felt its heat fizzle past me.

Drawing my blade, I moved towards him, fueled by the unseen energy emanating from the gate. I shifted from a walk to a run and let out a Braveheart-esque scream. My Moon armor held firm, but my wards flickered out one by one. I hacked and stabbed, dodging his flaming limbs, until he suddenly froze. Wardless, but defiant, I kept on fighting, gritting my teeth against the rising heat. His aura had shifted to a dark red.

“Just DIE already!” My scream echoed my desperation. Time was a luxury I no longer had. Why wasn't he moving?

Then the world turned a blinding white. I felt my body lifted and tossed, tumbling through the air like a discarded doll. A snapping sound registered—please let it be twigs. But I knew it was my right arm, my fighting arm.

Vision returning, I realized I was flung at least a hundred feet from the portal. Slowly but steadily, Volcanic approached—whether he walked, glided, or simply burned his way toward me was irrelevant now. My head was spinning; my broken arm seared with pain. I braced myself on the ground, my eyes lifting to meet the fire that would consume me.

Twenty-five.

“I'd say you were a worthy opponent, but I've had tougher fights against flumphs wielding dandelions!”

Nothing.

“Okay, okay. You won,” I said, laughter bubbling out of me. The sheer absurdity struck me all at once. Here I was, on all fours in the middle of a charred forest, having just lost an epic battle against a colossal fire elemental in a realm called Purgatory, populated by dwarves, gnomes, orcs, kobolds, and giants. Just last week, I was climbing the stairs to my third-floor office, five minutes late for my morning ritual of coffee and newspaper surfing before making client calls.

“What are you laughing at?” A voice said in front of me. I looked up and saw the old man-form we had seen in the town, surrounded by a fire shield. Beside him stood two fire imps at ready. Was that his normal shape?

"What are you laughing at?" A voice questioned from in front of me. I looked up to see the old man we had seen in the town enclosed in a shield of flames, two fire imps standing beside him. Was this his true form?

“Everything,” I said, “but mostly your astonishing lack of good looks.” I drew my twenty-fifth breath. "Not even a beholder would find you beautiful!" The fire shield flickered, its intensity lessening.

“For what it was, you were a worthy opponent,” Volcanic said.

“And for what it's worth, you're as dumb as a rock,” I retorted with a grin. “Did you really think I came here alone?”

Thud, thud, thud, thud.

“Kakheack! Gladroum! Doughebelynn!”

I clenched my teeth, planted my hands on the scorched earth, and assumed the 'cat pose' I'd learned in the single yoga class I'd ever attended. I felt the impact of her foot against my back as she used me as a springboard. I looked up just in time to see Gloria airborne, hurtling toward Volcanic. He didn't have time to morph back into his fiery elemental form; she struck his shield with a primal fury. The resulting explosion engulfed us in steam, searing my skin. I curled into a fetal position until the air was breathable again.

When I dared to look, I found Gloria sprawled on the ground, arms outstretched. Her knives lay beside her, their glow extinguished. Next to her was the frail body of an old man.

As I approached her, I wasn't prepared for the sight that greeted me: she was smiling, her eyes shimmering with tears.

“We did it,” I murmured as I lay down beside her.

“Yes. We did. I haven’t forgotten that you left me, and you will get punished, but right now I just need to relax and enjoy my revenge.”

I tilted my head and made eye contact with her. “You’re welcome.”

She suddenly rolled on top of me and pinned my arms to the ground.

“You are a strange dwarf, Tim. But I like you. Thank you.” She said and kissed me. Let me tell you, that kiss, was epic…no wait for it….

It was orange.