CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Thalia rose to leave the meadow on foot, discouraged and depressed in soul, cold and naked in body, wishing she had left her clothing closer and dreading the long cold walk back to the car.
Only to find Seizo steadfastly not looking in her direction, waiting against a tree near the path she had taken through the woods.
“Seizo!” she exclaimed, then blushed furiously and searched for something to cover herself with.
“Here, Kaa-chan,” he called, and tossed over his jacket, keeping his head averted. “I swear I haven’t been looking.”
“You don’t need to tell me that!” she said, mortified. “I can’t believe you followed me out here and I’ve been prancing around naked the whole time. It’s a good thing you’re not any younger than you are, or I would be in serious trouble with someone for child abuse of some kind.”
He laughed. “That’s ludicrous and you know it.”
“Well, yes, but that was so mortifying, you have no idea.”
“No, I think I have a pretty good idea,” he remarked, having been equally mortified.
She joined him once she had his jacket on somewhat respectably and made a brave show of smiling up at him.
“Kaa-chan, you don’t have to pretend with me,” he said. “I just heard you sob your heart out. Why would you try to convince me you’re happy and everything’s fine not even five minutes later?” He walked a little behind her, reaching up and holding branches aside for her without noticing he was doing it.
She stopped suddenly and turned to face him. He looked down at her, a little surprised, and saw she was done with pretense. Her eyes were full of tears, and she laid her head against his chest and cried softly for a little while. He held her, patting her back and squeezing her shoulders, then kissing the top of her head. This was making him a little tearful too.
“I shouldn’t be so upset,” she said, her voice muffled against him. “I have so much to be thankful for; I wouldn’t trade any of you to get my arm back, and all these tears are just self-pity.”
“I wouldn’t call it self-pity, I’d call it a healthy response to a devastating blow. I can’t fully know what you’re going through, but I do know it’s a real loss, and if you don’t let yourself grieve it properly, you’ll turn into a bitter sadist like me or an angry cynic like Harada-san. And that would be something we’d all regret.”
She nodded, still nestled in his comforting embrace and sniffling. After a pause she looked up, her eyes still wet and a little red, but her smile more genuine.
“I think you’re defining yourself and Tetsu too rigidly, but apart from that you’re right,” she said, and they continued down the path in the darkening woods.
***
When they finally got back to the hospital, it was well after dark. Seizo stopped her before they went in through the automatic double doors.
“Kaa-chan, I don’t mean to overstep, but I know how you are, and I know how Harada-san is. Don’t try to pretend you’re fine to him; he’ll see right through it and it will only sit between you and grow.”
She smiled sadly and touched his face. “True. When did my little one become so wise?”
The mood when they reached the hallway outside what was now Harada’s room was vastly different from the contemplative sorrow in which Thalia had wrapped herself since leaving the woodland.
They could hear shouting from down the hall; flustered nurses hovered nearby, but did not actually dare go too near, since Saya had recently adopted a large dog, probably inspired by a combination of happenstance and having met Alecto. He was a large breed, though not quite on the scale of Thalia’s familiar, and less well-mannered than the wolf.
“Why did you say you won the chess tournament at school if you have no idea how to play the damn game?” Harada was demanding loudly.
“I just don’t play the way you want me to, so you’re having shit-fits!” Kirito’s voice replied even more loudly.
“Moving your knight all over the board to chase my queen and completely ignoring the king isn’t what I’d call playing chess, it’s more like role-playing for remedial adolescents!”
“Oh, but it’s fine if you move your queen wherever she wants every time, I guess,” Kirito said in a huff.
“Fine, let’s play your way,” Harada said. “Your knight comes and sexually harasses my queen, who then chops his head off.”
“Give me back my knight! Clearly your brain hasn’t benefited by your injuries!”
“No, but I’m sure yours would benefit from a few injuries,” Harada retorted in a menacing tone. “It couldn’t get much worse, anyway.”
“Sorry, I don’t fight the handicapped,” Kirito said virtuously.
“My handicaps improve your chances of survival.” Harada’s retort was followed immediately by a crash, and Saya’s voice.
“Oops! Pochi, no, that’s not food! Kiri-chan, did you smear chocolate on these pieces? Why is he eating them?” she demanded at the top of her voice.
“At least someone’s getting some use out of the game,” Harada said.
“That was the hospital’s board!” Kirito protested. “Now we need to reimburse them!”
“Ouch!” came Kyoko’s voice. “Saya-chan, please take one of those pieces from Pochi and shove it up Kiri-san’s nostril. You’re closer, so you can reach,” she added sweetly.
“Oi, save your violence for your stalker,” Kirito said.
“I save my violence for those who deserve it,” Kyoko said in a terrifying voice.
“How many people are in there?” Thalia wondered, eyes wide.
“Sounds like all the usual idiots. The nurses want to kill them all by now, just look at them,” Seizo said gleefully. He was right; the nurses looked distinctly out of temper, and now that they had spotted Thalia, three of them were headed straight for her. “Ah, crap, the nurses want to yell at someone – I’ll go fight with Monster-girl a little before they throw everyone out,” Seizo said, referring to Saya, and departed in haste.
Thalia made a note to herself to have words with him about the unattractiveness of an 18-year old brat in a uniform, but pasted a smile onto her face. “I see they’ve gotten a bit rowdy since I left,” she said apologetically before any of them could say a word.
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“That’s one way to put it,” said one of the nurses, who seemed less irritated than the others. “They really should quiet down, since there are some people on this floor who are very ill and need their rest,” she added.
Thalia nodded. “I’ll see to it,” she said.
“Also, there is a huge animal in there, and we don’t allow that in this hospital. Animal Control will be called if it isn’t gone at once,” said another nurse.
“Not a dog-lover, I see,” Thalia said dryly. She walked into the room and put her hands on her hips.
“Uh-oh, Mom’s back,” Kirito said.
“Kirito-san, the Morgue would like to see you downstairs as soon as it’s convenient for you,” Thalia said with a falsely sweet smile.
“What? Oh, is that your way of telling me you’re about to kill me, or something?” he replied, grinning sheepishly at her.
“Not at all, how could you think such things of me?” she said, adopting an air of horrified innocence underlaid with menace. “They merely want to test a theory the nurses up here have submitted, that you have the potential to wake the dead. You’re certainly keeping the nearly-dead awake.”
“Why scold only me?” he demanded. “Everyone in here’s been yelling. Loudmouthed morons,” Kirito muttered, looking hard at Harada.
Kyoko, who was now behind him, smacked him in the back of the head. “You’re by far the loudest one, Kiri-chan,” she pointed out in her sweet voice.
Thalia was by now talking in a low, stern voice to Pochi, whose ears were pricked and whose tail was wagging apologetically. She then gave him pets and cooed over what a good boy he was before looking up and explaining to Saya that the nurses insisted he had to leave, or they would call the authorities. Saya looked crestfallen.
“I read it was encouraged to bring animals in to cheer up sick people,” she explained sadly. “And now they’re kicking him out.”
“Don’t worry, you accomplished your goal,” Thalia said, smiling. “I can tell by looking at him that Tetsu is in a much better frame of mind now. I’m glad you and Pochi both came!” She got up then and went over to kiss her beloved. He gave her a searching look, but she merely smiled and turned to greet Kyoko, whom she had not seen in two days.
“Such good news that they discharged you, Thalia-chan,” Kyoko was saying happily. “And Harada-san looks much improved also. I thought of what you said the other day about missing your double-edged dagger, and sure enough, it turns out I had one back at the dojo. I thought you might want it, so I brought it with me,” she said, pulling a very sharp knife with a blade about four inches long out of a ball of wool that she'd brought in her bag of knitting.
“Oh, excellent! Thanks so much, Kyo-chan!” Thalia said, admiring the sleek design of the blade. She was as thrilled with this as another girl might have been if her friend had brought her new shoes, Tetsuya thought fondly.
“I even remembered its sheath,” Kyoko added, grinning and handing it all over.
“Perfect. I will certainly take good care of it.”
“If you lose it in someone, don’t worry about it. I’m glad to give you something useful. I was also thinking about a wedding venue – I know it’s early, but it’s never too early to start planning – and there are two places I think you'll love most in all of Edo, both of which are reasonably nearby.”
There was no transition between the subjects, but Thalia had no problem keeping up, Tetsuya noticed. She strapped the knife to her thigh while discussing flowers and whether a photographer would charge for travel if they brought him along in an official vehicle. He still found it surreal to think of himself as soon to be married; it had been no part of his plans, yet it fell together so naturally it was uncanny. Kato had already referred to Thalia as his wife more than once, and almost no one seemed to find that strange – including himself.
“See you later, Harada-san! Pochi and I have to go,” Saya was saying to him.
“Saya-chan, thanks for introducing me to Pochi - he's a great pup. See you later, and when I get out of here we'll all go to the woods and let Pochi meet Alecto.” He smiled and waved at her, then considered all the annoying people still in the room and when they might leave him alone with his bride-to-be.
He was actually happy, he realized even as he thought this, looking around at his friends. Really happy, not just content. Thalia was the biggest part of that, but it was all of them. He had finally realized he had true friends, and what precious gifts they were, however flawed, temperamental, and crazy. They all cared enough to be here with him as well as with Thalia and Yamamoto, throughout this long recovery process. Kirito’s agency might have been hired by Kato, but only one of them needed to be here; yet more often than not it was all of them, as well as many of the officers in their off-duty hours.
As for Thalia, she was part of the family already; before she had even gotten here, there had been an empty place among them awaiting her. It wasn’t just the huge gaping hole inside himself that had needed her, it was all the people who were part of their group who had accepted her in their midst so naturally.
Harada noticed Seizo look over at Thalia, who was standing in the doorway. She had waved off Saya and Pochi, and now seemed lost in a sad reverie, still staring down the hall. Seizo went and took her hand; Harada was instantly aware of a slight but nagging insecurity in him that Seizo clearly knew something he did not about Thalia, and was first to comfort her instead of him. Clearly he still had a long way to go before he was completely free of unhealthy thought patterns, he told himself wryly.
Thalia definitely had something on her mind, though, and by the look of her it weighed a ton. He was anxious to be alone with her, to find out what made her look so sad.
He sighed loudly and stretched, then turned off a lamp he could reach from the bed. “I’m exhausted,” he announced.
Kirito snorted. “More like, you’re horny and you want to get rid of us.” Seizo looked appalled, and Kyoko smacked him again.
“Harada-san, forgive us for disturbing you so long. All our best wishes for your continued recovery,” Kyoko said politely, bowing in the direction of the hospital bed.
“On the contrary, thank you for visiting, Kyoko-san,” he replied, inclining his head in the modified bow of which he was currently capable. "You've helped make the time pass more quickly, and believe me, that's vital to survival."
Thalia enfolded her friend in an embrace. “Thank you for the blade – and the socks, and all the thoughts and support. It means a lot,” she said. Kyoko returned the embrace, promised to check out a couple of things they had discussed and to come back soon.
“Kato-san, would you care to walk with me?” she said then, in what was practically a world-record-breaking moment. The whole room was silent with awe.
“Kyoko-san, it would be my honor,” the Chief replied calmly. Thalia’s eyes danced; she was so pleased – Kyoko was very reserved and proper, so although the Chief had been smitten the moment he met her, his rambunctious, sometimes naïve good nature had put her off at first. Kato had finally adapted and begun to treat Kyoko as someone he respected and genuinely wanted to know better, rather than as an idol. She was responding well to this, it seemed.
Thalia hugged Chief Kato on his way out, and he winked down at her.
“Looks like you’re still stuck with me, Kaa-chan,” Seizo said, grinning at Tetsuya as he made himself comfortable in one of the seats. He was intent on making Harada fume, just out of habit. Then Seizo saw Thalia’s thunderous brow and hastily said, “I’ll go visit Yamamoto.”
“Either that, or we’ll discuss why it’s a bad idea to ditch me and run to join in a free-for-all next time I’m facing down the Bureaucrats,” she said in a menacing voice. Seizo winced and departed. Thalia immediately turned to Tetsuya. “You had him follow me, didn’t you?”
He swallowed. “Uh, no,” he said.
“I know you,” she said suspiciously. “You’re not lying, but you’re not really telling the truth either.”
He blushed. “Kato-san had him follow you, but I would have insisted on it if he hadn’t,” he admitted.
“Did either of you think about this at all?”
“Of course. Seizo’s the best choice – he knows about you, he’s part of the Shinsengumi, he’s trustworthy, you and he are close” –
“He’s my son,” she said indignantly. “From other lifetimes, obviously. Don’t tell me you hadn’t put that together already on your own.” Her arms were crossed and she was looking down at him in a way that irritated him vastly.
“Let’s see, my first clue might have been the way he started following you around bleating ‘Kaa-chan’ at you morning noon and night,” Tetsuya said sarcastically. “Second clue, the fact that you find this delightful instead of slapping the crap out of him for it. I don’t know the details, but yeah, I know you’ve decided you’re mother and son. So he’s family - what the hell is your problem, then?”
“I was experimenting with shapeshifting, Tetsu,” she said pointedly. He looked blank, still irritated. “He found me in a field, just before I changed back to this form,” she added. Suddenly it sank in.
“Oh,” Harada said, and blushed.
“Yeah, ‘oh’. Imagine how ‘oh’ I felt when I got up out of the grass naked and saw my son standing by a tree waiting for me,” she said.
Harada looked up at her, trying to gauge her real mood. He looked so sheepish Thalia’s heart quite melted, and her sense of humor caught up the rest of the way. She laughed, and when he knew it was safe, so did Tetsuya.
Thalia dressed for bed, then shut off the lights and climbed in beside him. These moments each night when she got into bed with him and nestled close were among the happiest for both of them. Tonight she looked up at him earnestly in the dim light that came through the window, more from streetlights than from the moon.
“I’m not angry that you had me followed, Tetsu; I would have done the same. Just let me know next time, please?” she said softly.
“Of course. I apologize,” he replied, then ran his fingers over her hair, down her throat, across her shoulder. “Now will you tell me what’s wrong?” he asked.