"Would the lady care to dance…?" he asked me, though he forgot to add, "with the devil?"

I held out my gloved hand, rose it slightly above his level, and he grabbed it. "Ah yes," he said, his lips spreading apart to form a gallant grin. "You have excellent taste, madam."

I calmly nodded in his direction, and he put his opposing arm around me as we danced at the Crystal Swan. It was the most prestigious ball of the week and this handsome fellow was interested in a careful poised waltz around the ballroom. We moved in sync with each other, the orchestra and the other dancers. The chemistry between us was instantaneous.

"A woman of few words," he said, looking deep into my eyes. He was a head shorter than me, but there was an elegance, a playful glimmer in his dark eyes that ignited my soul. He gazed through a molded masquerade mask carved in the shape of the blackfeather swan. A piece of blond hair dangled from his suavely permed pompadour.

"I may be a girl of few words," I said, my voice was low and sharp. "But these words matter. Listen to them carefully."

He pulled one hand from my black velvet corset to straighten his mask. "Of course. When zee lady speaks, fortune smiles upon those who heed her words."

I moved my ruby red lips into a confident smile. "I know it was you, Lord Bon Appart, who perpetrated the murder on Longtall Street."

Bon's hand tightened around my waist. His normally suave demeanor looked shattered for a moment. The hunter had become the game and I savored every second of it.

"You didn't like when Lord Legget joked how he would need a child sized outfit for you in his croquet league. The Appart family has always been short, but not in stature and you couldn't take it. You had to poison his wine."

"Sacre Bleu!" Bon gasped under his breath. His hands shook around my waist. It was almost like I was keeping him from fainting. "'How would you know I did it, girl? It's not like there was any evidence. No finger prints…it was manifique!"

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

"Child's play," I muttered. "Your noble family owns the Waterloo Chateau in town. And that wine was imported directly from it,"--I narrowed my eyes and smirked.

Now to deliver my favorite part: the one liner."Seems Waterloo Wine turned out to be your downfall, monsieur Bon Appart."

Quickly, Bon Appart's demeanor changed from a frightened puppy to a menacing scowl. His brow furrowed and he gripped me like a vice. "And 'oo are you to meddle in my affairs, little girl? What name do you bear that would warrant such an icy pursuit of the truth?"

"My name," I said, biting my lip. "Is Jacqueline Blunderbuss."

The fear turned from anger before transforming into a look of condescension. "You're the daughter of zat guy? George Blunderbuss, the most incompetent, blundering detective in Noirberg? The guy who couldn't even solve zee mystery of his own demise! He truly lived up to his name of a blundering, blabbering fool!"

Bon broke into a round of chortles before he removed a silver revolver from his overcoat and pointed it at my waist. "Much like him, you'll never find zee truth, Jack. But you will be finding your father soon at the pearly gates!"

Wide eyed, there was nothing I could do but stand around. I was a sitting duck, or perhaps a standing stool pigeon. But in my case, nothing was the best plan of action. Everyone continued to waltz around us, unaware of the danger that lurked so close. "I wouldn't if I were you…" I teased.

"Oh I would!"

There was a loud bang. Everyone screamed and turned in horror to see Bon Appart lying on the ground, grasping his wounded arm. "What are you…" he winced in pain.

I hiked up my black dress to reveal a cybernetic metal leg. "I don't just meddle in affairs." I smirked. "I metal in affairs."

I took my leg and kicked him straight in the crotch. "My bon bons!" he squeaked. "Sacre Bleu. Why?!"

"That's for my father…" I said, turning aside. "Rest his tormented soul."

I pulled out my comphone and dialed the number for the queen's royal men.

Several men in navy blue and bright red officers uniforms emerged from the crowd. "Book him!" were the only words I uttered.

I watched as they hauled off another two-bit criminal. In truth, I was very disappointed in another predictably easy case. A child could have solved it, and maybe so, taking my own age into account.

As I pulled on my overcoat and prepared to depart from the Crystal Swan, little did I know a small caper that took place the same night would uncover an entire bedrock of crime, mystery and apocalypse beyond even my own greatest merits.