Six months later

..

"Muster up you sniveling worms! Form an orderly line!"

At the western gate of the great city Kalaghutta stood a wall.

No.. it was more correct to say it was the wall. The great wall of Kalaghutta - that stood taller than twenty men. It was the bulwark that divided civilization from the chaos of the forbidden west - and all that was west of the Yitka.

Against the pale rock surface of the wall stood a piebald assortment of characters. One would be hard pressed to find a single word, to describe them, as varied as they were, other than, perhaps 'riffraff'.

They were not Kalaghutta's best and brightest.

"I said form A BLOODY LINE!"

Sergeant Okila Kru of the Kalaghutta City Watch turned and spat a wad of tobacco out the corner of his mouth.

"UP! AGAINST! THE! WALL! YOU! SHITSTAINS!"

He sighed in frustration, letting his eyes close for moment. Why did he get the very worst recruits, the bottom barrel dregs, every single time?

Sergeant Okila Kru's brass breastplate, was dull and lifeless. Its worn surface could have spoke volumes of his fifteen years of service if you cared to listen. His leathers were worn and humble. You'd think his boots feared the touch of polish.

But he knew police work. He knew the streets of Kalaghutta. And he knew how to spot someone cut out for the city watch.

Not one of these mumbling, stumbling wretches was cut out for it.

Half of them were still hungover from last night - just worthless good-for-nothings that signed up on a drunken dare.

The rest looked like the usual mix of mental deficients, shifty opportunists and just plain weirdos that couldn't get a job anywhere else.

Sergeant Kru rubbed his temple and sighed again.

This is what you got when you put out an open call for new recruits: a bunch of fools that couldn’t form a straight line to save their lives.

But then.. what else were you going to do, if a quarter of the watch upped and disappeared for half a year…

Still.. this lot was truly depressing.

"Against the wall!"

Good god. He'd seen toddlers form a line faster than this.

Now three of them were standing to attention.. but facing the wall.

"Allright you miserable wretches! You will now follow me! March!"

The tale has been taken without authorization; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.

Sergeant Kru sent a silent prayer to any watching deities to grant him strength.

"MOOOVE!"

"All sign ups will be tested at the watch house on Morpok Lane."

"We will be there in a half hour!"

"We will march in line!"

"We will march with discipline"

"Now, I want to hear a 'yes Sergeant!'"

The cacophonous mix of mumbled responses, drunk shouts and catcalls that emerged from behind him was almost tragic.

Sergeant Kru felt like he was leading a clown parade down the city street.. which to be honest wasn't far from the truth. Sergeant Kru gave another pained sigh to himself.

Against his better judgement, Sergeant Kru decided to give them some of his wisdom as they marched. None of these lot would get much good out of it, but he'd know he tried.

"Listen up pond scum! This is the Kalaghutta City Watch!"

A chorus of halhearted cheers followed that.

Sergeant Kru continued, as they marched down the street, "We are not the royal army. We are not the Imperean Corps. You hear me? We keep the peace and go home at night! Any of you lot know what it takes to do that?"

"Balls" came a few cheers from marching misfit parade. One enterprising hopeful recruit was pointing.

Sergeant Kru rubbed his temple. This lot...

"No! You miserable idiots! It takes brains!", Kru tapped his head for emphasis

"The civvies in this city outnumber the watch a thousand to one! A thousand men, women and children to every one of you! And not just any civvies! This is Kalaghutta! We’re the at the edge of the world you reprobates! The last bastion of civilization before the Yitka! And do any of you rats know what that means?!”

There was a contemplative silence as the motley crew marching behind considered the question.

“It means”, Sergeant Kru continued, “adventurers! Overgeared, foolhardy adventurers! School trained blades! Part time mages! Any of you lot up to dealing with one of those? No? Then, there’s thugs in the city that have swift-blades and earth-foot fighters on their payroll!”

“Boo!” Came one shout.

“Bring ‘em on!” Came another

Sergeant Kru was close to losing it with this bunch.

“Idiots! Cretins! You know how fast a school-trained swift-blade would cut through city watch regulars? One of those would cut through a hundred of of you lot like a sharp blade through loose chaff!”

Sergeant Kru gave a long suffering sigh to himself.

"Hear me now you dimwits! You're not the City Watch Vigiles! The thing you want in this job is a healthy dose of cowardice!"

Sergeant Kru reached into his plate and drew out a shiny whistle, “You see trouble, you run! You smell a hint of trouble - you run! You call in the Vigiles! You blow on your shiny whistle, you pick up your arses and you run like your worthless lives depend on it! All the way back to the watch house!”

"You understand me?!"

A reluctant chorus of "Yes, sergeant"s was heard and Sergeant Kru began to wonder if some of this lot was actually salvageable.

...

Finally after herding this collection of hungover cats through the city, they'd reached the Watch house on Morpok Lane.

Sergeant Kru gave a sigh of relief as he walked his charges into the training stables.

"Ha! Corporal! I was hoping you were here today!"

At the other end of the training stable, carefully working on maintaining a set of armor, stood a young corporal. He seemed involved in the task, before looking up, when Kru called to him.

Corporal Elrik smiled back at Sergeant Kru and waved a hand.

"Look here you bottom feeders! This here is Corporal Elrik! He is the kind of watch-man you lot should aspire to be! Joined us a few scant months ago and he's already a corporal! Model watch-man he is!"

Sergeant Kru presented Elrik before them, like some city watch employee of the month.

Elrik waved.

"Corporal would you be as kind to help? I would take it as a personal favor if you put this lot through some training drills!"

"Of course", Elrik gave a smile to Kru, "I'll be glad to help train these .. uh.. recruits, Sergeant"

"Thank you corporal! And ", Kru leaned in conspiratorially, his voice finally dropping from drill sergeant shout to loud whisper, "and uh.. don't be afraid to be too rough with them, hey? I think this lot needs a bit of .. robust training - if you know what I mean"

"Certainly", Elrik smiled conspiratorially back, "Happily Sergeant. In my experience, pain is a great teacher"