The being produces a short blade. “Oh. OH. Nononono wait wait, we can talk this through!” Being stabbed is really not on the list of things that make me relaxed or meditative and that blade is way too big to fit inside me! 

The being offers the blade, handle first “You would rather make the cut?” Oh boy, rock and a hard place. I… do realize I’m likely going to need to know how to heal, and I’m not going to have a better time to learn, but stabbing myself is... slightly better than being stabbed.

I nod and take the handle. The blade is light and fits nicely in my hand. OK. Deep breaths, just pick a place you don’t mind being stabbed… like a finger! Yeah, just slice your finger a little. You can do that, right? Just lightly run it across and draw a bit of blood. I hold out my left hand and press the flat of my index finger against the sharp of the blade. It feels cool, doesn’t hurt yet, maybe this won’t be so bad? Stop stalling. Move.

I draw the blade across. Wow, it actually didn't hurt. Being cut isn't so- ow. OW. A quick, ramping pain shoots up my arm, followed by warmth as blood rushes forth. A heretofore unseen bar with a medical cross on the left end appears at the bottom of my vision, with a sliver from the right edge missing. There is a drop of blood in a box immediately above it, with a white background. No major vasculature knicked, so not too much bl- holy fuck that’s a lot of my blood. It drips to the floor, starting a small puddle. I’m both enthralled by the wound and worried that now I literally have no idea what the healing thing is, let alone how to do it and I’m REALLY no longer in a listening mental state! Why didn't I ask before I cut myself?!

~ “Focus, just like before, push the light into the wound. Pool it. Teach it to fix what is missing.”

This thing won’t just let me die here right? Like, I’m not going to bleed out while he watches, RIGHT? Dumb ways to die, ok, let’s not. Let’s not do that. Fuck.

I try to get into my own head, but the stinging pain keeps making my focus on it. I can’t mess with my Energy while dealing with pain and fear and SO MUCH FRUSTRATION- calm the fuck down! This isn’t helping, deep breaths just like before. Address the pain. You know what happened, you did it to yourself, so fix it. Block out the pain, it’s just a signal for something you already know. It has done its job, now do yours. Feel the golden light, pool it in your finger.

I slowly talk myself through the process, like pretending there is someone more calm and collected in my head will somehow make me calm and collected. It sounds stupid, but you know what they say about stupid things that work.

I feel the tendrils of gold sitting dormant throughout my body, waiting. I pull them all toward my left arm, then my hand, then my finger. The total Energy in my body only seems to fill a quarter of my hand… hopefully that improves. Distractions, task at hand. Hah, hand- OH MY GOD STOP.

The energy settles into the far quarter of my hand… and sits there. Frowning, I try imagining my finger wound closing. Nothing. Ok, how about imagining the rapid production of new cells to fill the gap? Nope.

Uh.

How do you tell Energy to heal? How do you ‘teach’ something that doesn’t think? I guess… in video games, magic was associated with colors, so maybe taking the gold energy and trying to turn it green would…?

I focus on just the Energy in my index finger and imagine a green aura around it. Feelings of growth, healing, spryness, whatever tropes I can think of. Nothing. Aww come on! As I turn my thoughts back to solutions, something changes. Small dots of Energy turn from gold strands to green strands. Incensed, I push away the gold strands and leave just the green ones. My first thought of what to do stems from first aid experience, and sutures. Use the thread to bind the wound closed. When I attempt to move the newly converted strands, I find my ministrations ungainly and sporadic. As I try to bumble my way through, I feel my blood still leaking from the wound. It might heal on its own at this rate…

I take a single strand of green and move it into the wound in a spiral shape. I attempt to, for lack of a better word, ‘screw’ the green through the wound. As I twist it through, I find that it is markedly more easy for me to push the Energy through me than through the gap created by the cut.

Note to self: Energy movement through air is difficult. It’s slow progress, but I’m not paying attention to time very closely. Almost all of my focus remains on methodically moving the single strand of energy in a corkscrew.

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

Once the lead end emerges at the end of the wound, I try to pull on both ends to tighten the loops and close the cut… which goes terribly. I was so caught up in success that I just assumed I could move Energy in two directions at once. My efforts result in nothing more than moving the thread one way or the other, but not making any headway in actually tightening. A few more shoddy attempt reveal that I am certainly not at the level where such a thing is possible. I can only move one way.

Maybe if I can loop the leading end of the thread back, under the wound, to the trailing end… Ok, now they’re together at one end, so if I twist them together and pull in, back toward my hand… I feel the wound start burning, hot and angry, but there’s no second guessing here. I pull harder, the burning increases, but the coils slowly straighten. When the two ends of skin finally touch, the green strand flares neon and vanishes.

I open my eyes to evaluate my work, but instead I’m met with a notification:

[Congratulations! You learned the secondary skill: Transfuse Energy (Active). Transfuse Energy: 1]

I smile and dismiss the notification. The health bar disappeared again, so I must be at full Health. I’m absolutely drenched in sweat, and I’m breathing like I just ran a mile. How long was I working on that heal? Shaking my head, I examine my hand. My finger is still covered in blood, but after I wipe it off, I can clearly see that the only remnant of my self inflicted wound is a thin, red line. No pain, no gap, just the beginnings of a neat scar. I wonder if that will go away as well… otherwise I might end up with a lot of these. Getting hurt is less important when you can heal yourself, you become more likely to take risks as long as they probably won’t kill you. Dangerous. Slippery slope. Keep that in mind.

“I completed the task, are we done?” I ask, wondering how long I’ve already been here.

The guru simply looks back, nods, and proffers its hand. I give the knife back, handle first and cough slightly into my other hand. Huh, weird, I didn’t need to cough a second ago. I take my hand away from my mouth and find it oddly red. Must be leftover blood from the cut… I sway on my feet, feeling a great wrongness with my body. All I did was hand the knife back... is this some recoil from the healing? I go to breathe deeply, calm myself, when I realize the problem: the knife is in me again. At least, I assume it is, as I can only see the handle sticking out of my chest. My teacher is already sitting again, watching.

~ “Time is short, act quickly.”

And the pieces fall into place. The MOTHER FUCKER STABBED ME. FUCK I DIDN’T SEE HIM MOVE! I DIDN'T FEEL IT! I can’t even wrap my head around what just happened. I sway again. Time to sit down…

I fall to the floor, which would probably hurt more if I could feel anything but the knife in my chest.

First thing, leave the knife in till a professional can remove it.

Fuck.

I’m the profesional.

Double fuck.

Ok, ok same thing as before, just pull the knife out and wrap the wound in a -much larger- corkscrew and pull it taught. I rush all my Energy to the wound and start trying to change it to healing type, even as my perception grows fuzzy around the edges. Adrenaline is the only thing keeping me conscious and somewhat focussed, so I need to finish this before it wears off and I pass out. Better prepare as much before I pull the knife out as possible. There won't be room for error afterwards.

I form the familiar corkscrew, and I can tell off the bat it isn’t enough. It won’t get all the way across the wound, let alone double back... I need longer strands! Experimenting under stress, I try the first logical thing and push one end of a strand to the end of a second strand. They flare briefly, and I could swear it shortened a bit, but the strand that emerges is almost twice the length of the original. I quickly combine strands until it’s just long enough, and begin. I grasp the handle, inhale, and tear it out. The pain almost causes black spots to appear in my vision, and I almost lose it for a moment. There's no time; though I’m focussing inward, I can tell that my blood is pouring out. Something important was cut this time. Bad. I feel my head hit the floor, unable to keep it, or my body, upright. Faster. I use all of my willpower to weave the spiral in and out of my flesh. Knit flesh and bone, cure what’s rent, bind the wound. No room for failure, so I will not. Where last time there was no pain associated with the ‘screw’ process, the increased speed causes a sharp stab every time. Nothing compared with the other ‘sharp stab’. It’s through. Loop it back... twist. Twist hard. Fuck, this time I can feel strain on the thread. Like a part of me is going to snap. Can’t force it, don’t know what happens if the thread breaks. Now is not the time. It isn’t strong enough, I’m going to die.

No.

I can’t.

No.

I hear a distant voice: “Strength in numbers.”

Numbers.

I have more threads. Stronger thread, stronger binding. Weave them together, many threads, every thread. Fix this.

My body only contains green Energy now, and the threads rush together to the wound. As they contact the corkscrew, countless flashes, blurring, can’t tell if it’s real or me.

Fading.

Pull.

Pull.

…