“How are you feeling?”

-”Sorry dude, we’re not that close. I don’t even know your name.”

“I meant your wound, not your fucking feelings- and you were literally sitting right there when Nate shouted my name.”

-“I wasn’t listening.”

I mutter something unflattering under my breath, which evokes a snicker from her. Of course she had a high enough Perception to hear it.

-”My wounds are fine. If you’re done investigating the secrets of the universe…” she trails off, then picks back up “I’m going to look around the rest of this dungeon and find everything you missed. Don’t do anything dumb and you can come along.” She almost sounded like she was going to ask me to come along before she made it a jab. Maybe there’s hope for her.

She’s still a fuckhead.

“Yeah,” I reply dryly “I wouldn’t want to get in your way. Do watch out for the traps, they’re quite deadly.”

-”Look, your blind incompetence might make traps a threat to you, but I have no such trouble.”

She’s going to die. Hundred percent. I don’t give a fuck what her Perception is, seeing through illusions in almost pitch darkness in a cave is beyond her. I’m totally fine with her going first, though.

She steps into the hall with me right behind her, and immediately turns right, stopping in front of the pit- fuck that’s bright! The light from outside is like a military grade flashlight if I look right at it.

-”Is this one of your dreaded traps? Ohhh nooo whatever will I do to get around this spectacularly well hidden GIANT HOLE IN THE GROUND.” She starts sidling along one side of it.

Ok you smug piece of shit, not only are you going the wrong way, but also, how about this.

If you discover this tale on Amazon, be aware that it has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. Please report it.

A few moments later she comes back, frowning. -”You let me walk all the way out on purpose.”

“I did. Ah, you’re going to want to stop walking soon. Or at least move to the sides again.”

-”What are you ta- … where did the pit go?”

“Whatever do you mean, you’re standing right in front of it.”

-”Is this some kind of fucking joke?” She does stop walking though, thoroughly confused and scanning the ground.

“Yes.”

-”Well cut it out so I can cross back, we’re killing time before everyone else gets here and fucks everything up.”

Good point, the BRIGHT AS FUCK light streaming in is a strong indicator that it’s morning, and even though my eyes have definitely adjusted to the dark and are making it seem brighter than it really is, it’s always noon anyway so the day could have just started or been going for hours. I wouldn’t know.

Pressing time restraints will not, however, keep me from rubbing her nose in it.

“You mean to say that you can’t see it? What was all that earlier? Oh very well.” I sigh dramatically, reclaiming my now empty mana battery. It was probably a waste, but honestly it was too satisfying to see her frown move to a full scowl as she jumped back from the literal edge of the pit.

I don’t do a very good job of hiding my smirk.

-”Point taken, dick.”

“Anthony. Richard’s my father’s name.”

She stops her sidling for a moment -”You remember your dad?”

Oof. That hurts.

“No… no, just a joke.” Kinda killed the mood with that one.

She doesn’t say anything until she finishes crossing. I can’t see her expression due to the blinding light coming from the door, but I assume it’s not a happy one.

-”Take the lead.”

I look at her, considering mocking her again, but drop it. The moment passed, and I can’t pretend things are like they were before the game anymore. It had been so long since I was able to just banter with someone. Not since the game started. It was nice just to forget for a bit.

Back to ‘life or death’.

I nod and take the lead, carefully moving forward. “Kaythe, if you notice anything interesting about the cave, guide me to it.” *Clack* (yes).

-”It’s weird how you talk to that thing like it understands you.”

“It does understand. Those noises it makes mean things to me.”

-”Oh yeah? What did it say? Feed me?”

“Kaythe agreed to look out for me.”

-”How sweet. You’re crazy.”

“Shut up and watch for things trying to kill us.”

It’s unnecessary because I’ve already been through here and I know it’s empty, but we’re close enough to unexplored territory that she could alert monsters that we’re here if she isn’t careful.