Isn’t it weird how in the end we all just die, everything we ever owned, everything we ever knew, everything we ever said, experienced, felt smelled, heard, everything just stays here. In the hearts of others until they too move on.

At least that’s what I believed…once. Now I see and wish for something beyond the horizon. I…Want something more.

--

The Clapping stopped,

My ears rang, and I was unhappy with the crowd, but at least I didn’t have to stumble around the ballroom wondering where I should be. An older man, with thin scarred lips and Deep Black hair bowed to me and motioned me to follow. Miranda waited for a moment, features solid and placid before she stalked off. Finding some other poor soul to pester.

The man carried two blades. A large Great sword on his back and a smaller short sword by his side. I would think carrying both would be backbreaking especially for his age, but he carried them with relative ease. The pommels glinting like pearlescent moons.

My eyes flicked to his wrists, where two thick bands of metal spun around. They were bleak and grey. It was as if the world folded around them. The vivid nature of the colors around his wrists dampening.

He deftly passed by tables covered in colors and banners, people watched me and whispered. I heard little snippets, but nothing was clear or substantial enough to warrant attention. There were so many people in the crowd, people of all walks of life. Most noble in nature…but they all made way for me. A circle pushing out as people got out of our way.

We walked to an elevated section of the floor, around four feet higher than below. Something to divide one’s status, important people on one side-the less important on the other. There were no stairs, there was no need for stairs. The old man braced his legs and lifted with a heavy grunt. He vertically jumped close to six feet, clearing the gap by a good margin. The light around his wrists brightened before getting tamped down more than before.

I groaned and questioned my strength, who knows? maybe this would be easy for me. It turned out it was in fact not easy. I gave myself a little start and jumped. My front foot barely made it, the fabric flowing up around me from the quick motion. I ended up tottering in an awkward pose, windmilling my arms. The older man came to my rescue and gripped my hand gently, pulling me all the way up.

I saw more noble suits, deeper colors richly worn with pendants and golden wires or loops. More bands of metal against wrists like the ones the old man had. Though most were slimmer, less restrictive.

I pulled out a breathless, “Thank you”, with a light smile. But when I looked into that man’s eyes all I saw was cold steel. He didn’t want to be here, could be doing a million better things.

He turned his back on me, and we started walking to a long table, where a large throne, well not throne exactly but a large chair stood. The wood of the chair shimmered a glowing red, flakes of transcendent fire and spirits flickering off its sides. They floated off into the crowd, playing games and living their short lives before their embers faded away.

On the chair sat a rather fashionably dressed golden man. He was beautiful in a harsh demanding way, too many strong lines, not enough curves. He simply didn’t need them. He was built for battle and noble strife. Something primal in my body stirred, something akin to anger, perhaps indignant rage. The certain pressure that he exuded weighed my shoulders down. I looked at his wrists. They were sheathed in metal, not just a band but molded all the way up the length of his arms. The red embers twirled around them before muting, falling in twain.

The soldier knelt and dragged me down with him, “My lord”, he said nodding to the gold man, “-and esteemed duke”. He said turning to acknowledge another man, “I have come bringing your stranded daughter, …it seems she was frolicking near the river and skipping stones again, she ended up somehow hurting herself in the process. As her guard I seek appropriate punishment for my lapse in attention and care”.

A strange and wonderous man, The Duke swirled his wine and opened one eye to look at me. He had striking white hair and deep green eyes, or eye. When he gave a smile, it was filled with warmth, like a hearth twinkling in a small cabin under the stars. He tilted his head and winked (or blinked, couldn’t really tell) before looking past me once more and out into the crowd.

I looked back to the girl’s father…no my father. His eyes were awe inspiring, like stars. Angry dead stars. A simmering cold anger. The music dimmed and the chatter quieted. My father’s eye twitched. There was trepidation, shuffling feet. It lingered as my father simply stared. Eventually he rubbed his hands together shaking his head.

“Leon, you’ll be positioned back on the front soon enough, and we all know how my daughter acts, we both know you didn’t let her go do anything and if you knew where she was going to go, you wouldn’t have let her”. He chuckled a bit and then his cold gaze lingered onto me. “You’re too good of a soldier to waste, and I should’ve had someone else keep an eye on her, you’re no guard, no watcher. I have failed you and so has my daughter”.

My father sighed and looked to the white-haired man…almost apologetic, the dukes earlier smile was replaced by a foxlike thing, a light smirk and burning eyes. The older man-Leon kept his head down and waited. My father told him he could go after another few seconds of silence.

The duke spoke, his voice like a wave of coiling copper, “Old friend, she hasn’t changed at all in these years, has she? Just like you”. Something in my father's demeaner thawed, his stiff bearing cracking under something more. You’d be able to see an ember of a man through those cracks. Something you’d miss if only you blinked. It disappeared, he stiffened. Then turned his scowl onto the duke.

I kept my lips tight and my breathing short, eyes flickering from left to right, up the ceiling where shadows lanced through clouds of brilliance. I tried to catch everything with my eyes, any important detail that would help.

My father spoke once more, “My daughter for all my faults and all my failings still amounts to something, at least in the eyes of your son…Isn’t that right”. He raised an eyebrow, “whereby chance is young Coleman, he…was excited to see my daughter again, especially after last time, the playdates and such”.

A small pit in my stomach widened, nope…nope that’s bad very bad. What did we end up doing last time.

A loud bout of laughter came across the hall after my father’s proclamation, and some part of me, the girl that still lingered in the shell brightened up. Just a bit.

I looked back, where everyone else was staring and paused, a little shocked. My brain melted. I saw the most beautiful man the world has ever known walking towards me, steps gliding like he was one with the wind itself.

Something churned and burned inside me, something that made the heart pump just a bit too fast, something that I summarily crushed with an Iron fist, I am a man, still a man –kindof- stop this. But the girl still glimmered in the body’s memories, the other side of the stitched soul.

I’d have to research whatever accounts for soul theory in my spare time, away from prying eyes from above, below, and through. Find out a way to win back my autonomy.

The man- Coleman slunk ahead with the grace of dancer, he must’ve been around eighteen maybe seventeen, basically my new age. He had bright green eyes like his father, and flowing white hair that was cut short, and oh mighty lords was he muscled. He would’ve beaten my PR any day of the week just by breathing at it back home. Maybe light sneeze would do It in.

Jumping out of my thoughts I focused and found the man, my Betrothed…only a few feet away. He reached out for me as if to embrace, I squawked, twirling around him. He beamed, “Oh, my beloved Lin, it’s been too long.” Daringly he swept me to the side, and in abject horror slowly brought his lips in for a kiss.

I recoiled like a snake, using the pool of strength in me to push the man to arm’s length. I laughed a bit hysterically and said, “Honey shouldn’t we do that somewhere much more private”. At the end I was gritting my teeth and biting my lip, almost letting blood flow.

He looked taken about, “Lin Lin are you feeling well, did someone punch the fun out of you”, He patted my forehead feeling for heat, noticing the bruise as he brushed away the makeup, a frown splitting his perfect features. A genuine emotion. I responded a bit tersely, not quite sure how I should inflect my voice, “No I’m doing fine thanks for asking, but I think we should postpone this until after the guests have all left…”. Hopefully far after as well.

A half-smile graced his beauty and he tried to speak cheerfully again, he failed and sounded like an awkward teen, “Ha…just you wait until the party in a few days, the world will shake with music as our love fades against the sunset”. I looked at him nonplussed.

I narrowed my eyes and looked back to where my father and the others sat, my father, the big old lord just smirked back at me, the white-haired man gulped down a tables worth of wine. The method he just gulped them down was impressive, did he practice or just drink that much normally?

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I looked back at my betrothed and his eyes were filled with some intensity. His voice deepened, a resonance pushing out from him strange and rumbling pressure, “Who hurt you Lin, please… tell me it wasn’t one of those…Fortunates. I know you like practicing and sparing with them, but they simply aren’t worth the endeavor for the likes of me or…you”. He spoke in a stage whisper; I felt the crowd leaning in around us to hear.

My eyes widened at the concern in his voice that mixed with the disdain when he said fortunates. I tapped into the girl’s emotions, a sense of annoyance and discontent pulling off me in waves, “I just tripped and fell hitting my head, that.is.all”.

He quieted a bit more, “Is that all Lin...! You don’t have to lie to me, remember… we’re sworn by our blood even if all else fails”. He kept the same tone, and everyone around the hall could hear us. It really annoyed me.

I growled back, A little affronted, “I tripped and fell you dumbass, now stop badgering me”. He stepped back. I must’ve been too out of character. Dial down the swearing in front of polite company will you.

Coleman rubbed his arm and raised lilting eyes. Parsing through my response. I could see the calculations running, jumping, and skipping through his head. I knew that I was supposed to be playing along with something, was I supposed to like these Fortunates or hate them, was he trying to sway my opinion for the public perception. The white-haired duke kept an eye on us as he drank, an amused smirk parsed on his face. Both he and my father were eating this right up.

Murmurs rang out and the music that had all but stopped started up again. The voices got louder, and the eyes of my betrothed became odd. A glowing silver pulsing out from them.

He got close again and started whispering. Not for the crowd this time either. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed the mousey boy I’d seen earlier, bowing and handing what seemed to be a letter. A taller man with completely black irises accepted it. The boy took another in turn and rushed away across the ballroom.

I refocused, “Lin”, Coleman said in all seriousness, “I know that neither of us likes this, but we just have to wait it out before we go to academy in a few days, it’ll take some time and work, but we already talked about this just move along…alright”. Was this betrothal a sham, Oh my that was interesting…and good for me. That was if I was reading the situation right.

I nodded and gave him a big broad smile, trying to put my heart in it as I spoke, “Of course Honey that would be lovely”. He gave me a look of relief. I looked back out to the crowd and decided to steer him farther out, through twirling figures starting newborn dances, someplace…hopefully nearer to the walls. I needed a drink, preferably intoxicating. Might even give everyone a reason why I was acting so weird. Probably just make it worse, but that was fine.

I pulled my betrothed into a side hug, gripping onto his arm. Looking like a model couple for the people. He winced at my crushing white fisted grasp. We made a bit of small talk and found a good seat, I got a certain type of deep red wine, red blobs burbling up to the surface before popping. Almost made me not want to drink, I did anyway.

In a few minutes, I just wasn’t getting all that loopy, I ended up guzzling the whole thing. “Didn’t think you liked to drink Lin”, my betrothed said, tilting and sniffing at his own glass. I nodded, ignored him, I had an ear out on a bit of conversation happening nearby. Some little tidbits about a war and the number of losses in some place called the Grand City of Calliste.

Coleman jostled my arm, this time looking more than a bit concerned, “You really doing ok Lin? I’m not just talking about the injury either”. I turned to him and shook my head and raised my hands.

I spoke up in a melancholic tone knowing that I was playing with fire, “I don’t know anymore, something about this life, well it’s distasteful. Neither of us wants to get married, right? Wish I could just run away”. He looked shocked, “But…just a few months ago you were ecstatic about going to the academy, you’ve wanted to go for years…at least you wanted more time away from this place”. I got what I wanted from the response, confirmation, it wasn’t a real marriage. I swept imaginary sweat off my forehead.

I gave him a wan smile, “Perhaps, but not as something that we aren’t”. He leaned back with a sigh, “But we already agreed on all of this Lin, don’t change up the plan now”.

I nudged my lip with a finger while thinking, my mind was racing through answers, finding that it’d be far easier to follow along, “I guess it would be bad etiquette to change things now, though for some reason I seem to have a few gaps in my memory. I did hit my head after all, can you tell me some things about the academy”.

This time he straight up ignored me for a moment-leaning his head forward to get a better look at me. He reached out and grabbed my chin. Emotions bled through, and my heart started to thunder. Maybe this guy had had a misunderstanding about their relationship. This girl seemed to have been madly in love. I smashed the emotions into a thin paste.

He pulled the hair back behind my ear and gingerly poked at the bruise, I winced as his thumb brushed it, it was still a little bit sore. “Perhaps we should see your father’s physicians, you do have a few somewhere here as I remember, at least when we were younger. Sad that I couldn’t be there when you, “tripped”. He said more than a little bit sarcastic. Unhelpful, he never even answered my question about the academy.

The bruise wasn’t that bad, sure against fair skin it didn’t look great, but it wasn’t the most horrible thing ever.

His eyes pierced mine, I gave him a light smile, a reason to get out of this crowded ballroom…yes, I would love that. I had been there for only a short while, but I already made an appearance, that was enough, right? At least I would have the excuse of going out with my “betrothed”.

“That would be wonderful”. I said stretching up acting weakly, grabbing his arm again. That’s when I realized that I didn’t know where the medical ward was. “If you could lead honey, my head is just killing me”. He grinned almost plastic, lowering his voice again, “And where did this weird acting come from, both of know you don’t talk like your mother, come on lighten up”.

--

We strolled our way through the ballroom, but another pregnant silence enveloped everything. Worried I’d accidentally made a faux pas somehow, I turned quickly. But I was luckily wrong. A yell of anger poured across the room. A drunk man wearing a fiery red suit stumbled up to a woman and a man dressed in dark purples. (They’d probably blend in during the day)

Staggering forward he spoke a bit of gibberish before clearing his voice, “YOU! bastards, you flaunt in front of everyone how happy you are without me, why, why did you come here, when you fucking knew…”. The man broke down in tears.

Coleman snorted, “Old Brokefangs son is acting up again, third wife that’s left him now, you’d think he’d start acting differently.”, My betrothed hummed, a little too jovially, “…Apparently he even had a harem for a time but they all left realizing they liked what he had...not him”.

I breathed in, I didn’t really care and prodded him in the side to move faster. We made our way to a side door quickly, it was near where the instruments were played. A few people covered in thick black shawls strummed away, long fingers an icy blue strumming with power that drowned out the shouting. The loud, “I challenge you to a duel”, and some such nonsense. At least he wasn’t an arrogant young lord, just a pathetic and sad one.

I looked back to the crowd and wavered for a moment when my eyes met another set of golden ones. From all the way across the room. They were the eyes of a man who had killed. My fathers drilled into mine, the air was tense between us, and a twitch of rage sputtered down the killing line. Something simply felt off.

----

We stepped out into a bright hallway, the lights flickered, and the people dressed in white passed by, I hadn’t even thought about how many of them I’d seen in the ballroom. They were simply too unassuming.

There was something magical about them. Magic that I hadn’t noticed before. My eyes wavered and flicked away from their heads each time. I focused and brought up a large amount of energy to my eyes. I looked back on them, each of their hoods had a strange swirling symbol on them, something that pulsed with an unnatural silver.

I pulled myself away from Coleman, he smelled like lavender and maybe something akin to roses. My legs were shaking, and I rung my hands together moving my wrists up and down.

We were alone, and as such the man relaxed. His shoulders sagged and his back made a certain slumping crease. At the same time, he quickened his pace and trudged forward. “You know you’re usually the first to talk Lin, at least most of the time, it’s odd how…apathetic your eyes are. What really happened?”. Apathetic…that’s rude. The man was prying too much, and I couldn’t just say, “Hey your friend is kind of dead and I took over her warming corpse like a parasite, your welcome and nice to meet you”.

What I actually said was a mighty bit different, “Maybe you haven’t considered in the time we’ve been apart that I managed to change so much, maybe I just realized something about myself that I never had before. Have you considered that possibility”. I gave him a raised eyebrow.

“You’re just never someone that changes Lin, not in all the time I’ve known you. Maybe this is better though after all, who knows, maybe you’ve been hiding your true self for all this time. No matter how much I find that unlikely…considering how I’ve seen you act when you thought no one was watching”. The girls’ emotions spiked, and the embarrassment flushed into my mind. My cheeks were bright again, and annoyed I punched out and hit him in the shoulder.

Instantly he became defensive when I hit him, his whole body shifting and becoming a weapon. I froze, eyes widened. Such swift movements.

I raised my hands in surrender, he looked and laughed, a deep and rich laugh, “Now that’s more like you Lin, you should punch me more often”.

The night moved on; time passed. We eventually found the Physician and with a quick checkup we were out. The man had said the loss of memories would come back in time, I had to let the healing do its work. Besides that, he couldn’t find all that much wrong with me than a few scrapes and old scars. I didn’t think my “Skinwalker looking ass” was going to get memories anytime soon. I hoped not either, the chance that the memories could overhaul my personality was scarier than the unknown.

We walked further away from the ballroom, and I recognized it was the way back to my rooms. I was glad he wouldn’t force me back to dance. Or by the gods, talk to people. Yes it was good decision coming out with him.

When we got in, I didn’t see the maids. He walked around looking at things for a bit. I said meaningless words and eventually sat down across from him in the most heavenly chair I’d ever laid on. My eyes burned and the exhaustion of the last few hours hit me hard. I couldn’t tell you when I fell asleep, but I did.

In my dreams I saw a girl, with golden eyes, and eyes filled with both sadness and hate. She turned her back on me, curled up on an endless backdrop of black and cried.

--

Coleman eyed Linnetha, fingers lacing through his hair. His looks lingered on her parted lips and heart-shaped cheeks. His heart throbbed, and for a moment he wished she knew. About him and his true feelings. He pulled a light cough and wrenched his gaze away. He wouldn’t…no couldn’t jeopardize their friendship. It was rare to find someone who didn’t care about the wealth or prestige that came with his heritage. Perhaps one day her feelings would follow his, he would wait. He had the time.

The bell struck sullenly across the yard eleven times; the party was still early. They should’ve stayed for longer. However, Lin had needed the rest even if he didn’t know what happened. He didn’t care what the court gossipers would say. Two young betrothals galivanting off into the night. It didn’t matter, everyone would forget by tomorrow anyhow.

He sidled up to the bed and ripped the blanket off. He tossed it over her form, tucking it in near her neck. He went up to the door and stretched. He looked once more on her form. He wouldn’t linger anymore. The door shut silently as he walked his way down the hall. Face twisting into something unnatural. Something fake.