-Minor Prologue- 

The endless sky beckons, 

I used to hear the whispers in the wind, but as time grew and me with it, I heard it less and less. That was until I could hear nothing at all. At the end, in a junction in time, up or down, Drunk or High, Life or death.  

All bad options. At least to me. But…to save another, I would jump one way so that they didn’t have to join me. So, I did, I ran and ran. Saw her, the light of my life on the bridge, grasped her by the coattails and dragged her away.  

It was a rainy day; I don’t think she expected when she pushed me away that I’d slip that much. And I sure didn’t expect the rusty guardrail to bend to my weight. So that day I fell. Fate, or something else at work. Though I was more of a choice man all my life. 

I chose the path for her so she wouldn’t follow. For if she did, or even thought of it- perhaps the guilt would keep her alive. Horribly selfish of me, horribly inhumane of me. But I didn’t have much besides her to live for anyways. 

To save a life... no, her life, even having to manipulate to do so was and is better than watching her end. Not again, never again. I would be a martyr and a message; I couldn’t think of her ending like they all ended up. Friends-Family, I couldn’t stand the thought of another one going. 

 In the end I finally started hearing the wind again. I gazed at her and her wide eyes as I fell, panicked. Right before I hit the water I smiled, a hopeful thing. Not hopeful for me, but hopeful for her. 

Then I died. 

() 

-Chapter One-  

I gazed at a purple sunset, water rushing past my head in a reckless rush, going somewhere and nowhere. At a loss, I wondered, “Why is Everything purple?”. I didn’t know the answer and didn’t expect a response. I didn’t get one. It was something that simply was.  

I just sat there for a while, minutes or hours, bugs buzzing by my ears. My eyes transfixed. Eventually, I started to cry, the thoughts lingering in my head-pouring in like a thunderheads.  

Before the water in my eyes could start streaming, like endless rain, something by my side snapped. There was a weak-pitched squeal in my ears. The air bristled. Something jostled my side, I jumped. My head swiveled. My eyes connected with an older woman’s.  

Pasty facial features with long cheek lines, with an ageless quality that belied her true lifespan. She gestured angrily, the words spilling from her mouth foreign and Brutal. The violent smell of cinnamon and rust flickered around her, it overwhelmed me in a horrible way. Her grey shawl swathed her tightly, fit for her and her alone. Her arms were spread out about her, fingernails sharper than the fangs of a snake. 

Bile rose at the bottom of my throat and spilled out. I clamped a hand over my lips but that just made it all the messier when it spilled over. My eyes were dry and puffy, veins and joints in pain. The back of my head pounded, striking hard and fast.  

I bent over near the river. The reflection was comforting, then extremely uncomforting as I noticed my face. My very...gold face, gold eyes, gold hair, gold eyelashes-pale white skin. I looked Albino but Gold.  

I grabbed my hands and started slapping my face. Small hands, girlish hands. The woman screeched and yanked my hands away. The words she spoke became more comprehensible. At the same time, my headache started getting far worse. 

A bit of blood crusted around my head and down my ear, I looked at myself again. Or rather looked at a rather young and pretty girl, perhaps three years younger than my previous very male self, and said, “shit”. Very articulate I know. 

“You little shit, you know how important today is, do you know what happens if your father or gods be forgotten your damned betrothed sees you in such a mess. They’ll hang me you little bit-hmmf!”. I highly doubted that, but who knows? I certainly didn’t, but I didn’t know anything.  

Funny-she seemed just as wonderfully articulate as me, shits and bitches included. The words themselves sounded wrong nevertheless, not English by any stretch of the imagination. 

The woman grabbed me by my hair and the back of my thin dress, dragging me until I stumbled into walking. The vomit squished on the side of my cheek. I was short, perhaps half a foot shorter than before, around 5’8 now compared to my otherwise normal 6’2.  

I noticed fast that I couldn’t walk correctly, it felt as if something was -missing. The flowing dress didn’t help much even with my bare footedness, but I still managed to stumble over it somehow. 

 “What's going on”, I spoke in a half whisper. The woman snorted dragging me up a small rise, “What do you mean, “What’s going on”, Today and the next three days are some of the biggest days of your life, and by extension mine. The damnable second son of the duke, your betrothed! is visiting and coming with you for the sendoff. At least today isn’t the sendoff I might have actually been hanged if you were late to that”. She gave me a sharp look, “Don’t dare you got it”. I nodded emphatically. 

The lady clasped her head in annoyance and my head spun harder, betrothed? Dukes' son? The Hell is going on?  

“Don’t tell me you really forgot you forgotten bred child…you may be slow but not that slow”. The woman seethed, wow she really doesn’t like me. I didn’t push many more questions onto her I could still barely walk; she didn’t help much- dragging me half off the ground as she was. walking and talking an abject impossibility. 

I watched the world spin away, flowers and trees. Bushes filled with berries and life. Some were blue, some were red, and little spots of green and perhaps tiny spots of flickering white. A dance of Fairy lights-could be true Fairies… this place did seem wonderous after all.

The colors all glowed, negating the purple lighting and somehow showing what they really were. As if they wanted to be seen. 

Eventually the greenery faded...at the crest of the trail on top of the hill I finally saw it. A large castle. It was a thing of Greystone beauty, flags waving high at the tops of small towers. Almost seemed gothic, but not in a dark way, it was lively. A whole world of color around it and upon it. It acted like the plants in that the color of it seemed real and unwavering against the purple sky. 

I saw walls a bit of a way off and realized the whole area must’ve been enclosed. On close inspection, the walls themselves weren’t domineering but neither were they all that inviting, they simply stood, they had a job, and did it. The purple light may bask upon walls such as these and bleach them away, but they would still stand for hundreds of years, nonetheless.  

 A rich person's personal garden. Personal river and everything. Supposedly my garden, at least partially if I was the daughter of some lord or another, a noble of somewhere. Had to be high standing if I was being married into a dukedom. Perhaps warlord though I hoped not. Death to invaders of the homeland and all that. I’d rather not be known as excessively patriotic. 

As we got closer, a few clean-cut white villas appeared amongst the trees, little groups of people talking and chatting in a low thrum. Not too many, it was clear although by the carriages arriving that far more people were coming, and quickly. Birds flew and leaned down towards the villas, finding homes and such on the tops. They were beautiful, one in particular was completely see through-almost like gelatin. 

 The woman, I still hadn’t quite caught her name started to move faster, inhumanly in fact. I realized for a moment that I too was moving swiftly, even in my drug-like state.  Almost Like this body naturally knew how to move at such a high speed. Magic? Most likely, it seemed probable at least. You don’t just wake up in a girl's body and see flying Jello birds without a little bit of magic.  

In due course, we got to the side of the manor and quickly neared a thick wooden door. A few servants in white moved quickly in and out, carrying trays and drinks. These people seemed duller than everything else. The contrast almost made them stand out instead of blending in, even so, they somehow managed to seem nonexistent or ephemeral. Their color and density bland and flat. Something about it itched at my brain.  

We moved in as one of the servants exited and a bit of steam blew past me, making my eyes blink sporadically. The shouting of kitchen staff and the clang of metal made my eardrums quiver, “ow”. She pushed me in, and I stumbled almost keeling over.  

The lady moved me past and nodded at a large man directing the rest of the staff. He was a big guy, and completely hairless besides his eyebrows. They were black with laces of gold flowing in them like veins, he seemed related to me and this new body. It felt Unlikely, however- seeing his stature in both responsibility and literal size, but possible. Maybe a bastard child. 

“Get her cleaned up Mirannnnda, you know the lord will be pissed if she ain’t ready within the hour, and that’s if you're lucky, we both know she should already be there”. Miranda my supposed maid just scowled, “Shut it, Devon”. He laughed a bit going back to managing his work. The smile played on his lips like he’d won a distinctly personal bet. His smell wafted over, it was like grease and orange slices; it made my stomach broil. 

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We marched to a circular stairway lined with stained glass windows, the stone was kinder on my feet than the rocks and sticks outside, no less uncomfortable, just a different type of uncomfortable. Almost like cold sandpaper. 

I saw a young man coming down the stairs at us, holding onto a few scrolls. He rounded the corner and bumped into Miranda. They both almost went down but I stepped in. The kid looked like a mouse, tiny with light grey eyes, and steel grey hair. He blurted out a rushed, “Sorry”, and sped away. Miranda gritted her teeth muttering under her breath, “Another one?”. Weird. 

On the third floor, we stepped out and I was rushed to what I presumed were this bodies...this girl’s rooms. We stepped in. They were pretty big, I had an apartment back home, but these rooms were twice the size and far more ornate. There was one of those big beds with the four sides sticking up making a canopy, with long flowing strands of cloth streaming off the sides.  

Miranda shut the door with a light slam and moved me towards another side room, two women waited for us near a large tub. Vapor steamed off it in shimmering waves, lingering in the recesses of the ceiling before curling away like dreams. Weird...very weird bath. The water was tinted a bit orange and smelled citrusy too. Perhaps the cook down below bathed in this stuff. Why I didn’t smell like that now I didn’t know, perhaps I don’t bathe in warm orange juice every day. Maybe it was just every other day. 

Miranda snapped her fingers, with a violence I thought all but unnecessary, and the two women went to action. One with a tired look on her face and the other an oddly pleasant smile, almost domineering. “Get her clean and proper girls, our best work today, scrub fast-Cover any stupid bruises with makeup...otherwise keep her natural”. They nodded and Miranda turned and huffed away.  

When the door shut with a long creak one of the girls burst out laughing, “Oh forgotten gods, Linney, what in the hell happened to you, you mess with one of the Rakkar rats by the river or something?”, ...Was this girl killed by a rat? I snorted that’s one way to die. I tried to speak. But the other girl shut me down, “Just help me clean her Airy, we don’t have the time”, She turned to me, “Miss if you would focus on cultivating while taking the bath it would be helpful. I know you don’t like it, but it would help you look and smell fresh, perhaps absorb the medicinal bath better”.  

Cultivate, oh wait why is that so familiar? Although not in this more European setting. I was confused and still felt miserable. So instead of asking any more questions that I should have had the answers to I just let them strip me, their efficiency in the art was simply mesmerizing, “What's got you so down Linney, you’re acting all weird”, the smiley girl asked bopping up and down on her feet. 

“I ummm… hit my head by the river, minds all--foggy, hmm loopy might be a better word”. My voice was light and completely and utterly different than my otherwise low male baritone, it made me cringe. I tapped my head a few times looking down to my toes, I needed to clip my toenails, gross.  

The girl-Airy gave me a worried look, my words a bit slurred and probably accented compared to normal,  

“Hmm can’t be having that”, Airy said, laying a finger on my head.  I felt the pressure around my eyes release. A soothing icy feeling licking around my ears almost as if a large eel of ice was encircling my head. “It isn’t true healing, you’ll have to go get checked up later, ok?”. 

I tapped the edge of the water. I sighed, then slinked into the tub. I looked at my body, my very womanly body, with all the bits and pieces I'd never thought I’d have. I blushed all of a sudden…embarrassed and covered my lack of balls. The girls looked at me weirdly, I just laughed nervously.  

They ignored the outburst and started rubbing me down with soap, I guess the orange bath wasn’t enough. They rolled their sleeves up as they hung their hands over the edge of the tub. “Start cultivating Linney, I can tell you aren't”. My lips curved down into a frown, Airy seemed to think it was adorable watching me pout. I racked my brain for a few moments, I had read books on cultivating, well the act thereof in my past, but I didn’t know how relevant they would be in this situation.  

I closed my eyes and tried to relax, for some reason, the first thing I thought of was the two women actively cleaning my body. The fact that them doing so wasn’t that attractive to me. Something that when I was a man with all my male bits I probably would’ve been attracted to. That was a whole can of worms I didn’t want to unpack. So, I didn’t-instead packing the thoughts into a far corner of my mind in the meantime. 

My brain relaxed, and I breathed deep in and out. It’s fine, everything is fine…Not really but I guess it could be worse, Maybe?

I started hearing the whispers of the wind. It startled me, I adapted quickly and called them to me. They came, some muscle memory in this body reacted and the whispers started to circle me. The light coming through my eyelids wavered, and reality became more...real, the energy sifted through my body revolving around the center of my being.  

Then when it fully made a circuit up around my body the energy came out of me, through my mouth like wisps of spicy wind. It channeled out through my pores, widening them before tightening them again. It suffused my limbs with strength, lingering in my bones. 

I got in a rhythm and before I knew it, I was getting shaken back to the present. I snapped my eyes open, the maid... Airy’s eyes looking nervous, “Ahh good...thought I was never going to get you out of that trance, never seen you get so deep into it”. Airy turned to the other girl, “You ever seen her that focused Bella?”. The tired girl shook her head, her face revealing she was a bit taken aback. 

For that moment in time, I truly looked at both of them, the power in my core slipping into my eyes, enhancing them minutely. Every small detail engrained by my pupils. They were both quite pretty. Airy had strawberry blonde hair, tied up with a few strands falling down her heart-shaped face. Her lips were thin in a way that resembled something sharp, her smile a serrated knife. But in a good way. If a knife cutting something could be good. Who knows, chopping salads, I guess. 

Bella was the rat type of pretty, small and with somewhat unruly brown hair, and with large bags under her eyes. I usually find that type of girl oddly attractive. But for the life of me, I couldn’t feel much a damned thing when I focused on her. However after a moment I realized that was not quite true, maybe there was something. I blushed and looked away, ears burning pink. 

I stretched up and slipped, they both caught me as blood rushed to my brain, and black spots poured over my eyes like gapping bursts of abyss. Airy giggled, “At least that’s normal little Linney”. I padded over the tiles and the women started drying my waning form.  

My ears filled with ponderings and my mind filled with rumblings. The crowd outside had started to get a little bit louder as bees did buzzing around their combs. Instrumental music coming through from the balcony like moonlight.  

The sky on this otherworldly day was becoming a very dark twilight, not quite true night, but soon enough the moon would dip above like a Wandering Titan. That is if there was a moon in this strange new world. 

 “Well, this is a formal affair, and you have reached the edge of partial-mortality in your cultivation even if only a few days ago, we should use one of the new dresses, right Airy?”, Bella said. Airy responded, “Yes, and they are colored wonderfully, slightly combative or frilly?”,  

Their voices drifted away as I focused back on my center, the energy there warmed my damp body, a crackling sun fulfilling the needs of a landscape torn then stitched together. A soul combined with another like two ghosts dancing at midnight’s grace.  

The more I looked upon the stitches, the more strange ideas and thoughts not of my own started to come through. She the girl this body belonged to really didn’t like me waxing poetic about her untimely demise, a shocking shudder running through me. Her death was timely enough for me though all considered, who knows what my soul was touching before entering this body.   

One of the girls passed me some undergarments and I thanked her without really seeing her. A mirage to my distant eyes, the thoughts of my loved ones and friends thundered through my head like they had at the river, the pain of loss slipping in. My mood worsened by the second. Tears started to build up. It was weird, I almost never used to cry. I had always wanted to be able to, but until now... 

I stopped myself, I couldn’t cry. Not now at the very least, I would have time to mourn losing my past later. Perhaps something in this place could give me meaning I never found but in people in my last life.  

I focused more on dissecting the emotions, my brows furrowing. It could be that something happened while cultivating that acted as a catalyst to enhance emotional output. It seemed reasonable, maybe something similar to a high. It would make sense; you're actively putting a foreign substance that purifies and collects itself within you. The more energy, the more of a high. It was all speculation, but I felt I was close to something. 

I would have to find a book or two on cultivation and go from there after this whole mess, maybe some other reading material too, I did love them wonderous stories. Libraries with the smell of old paper and ancient thoughts mingling with modern philosophies. 

It felt odd slipping the thin underclothes on, but my body just knew what to do. A curious phenomenon, something that would likely pervade my mind. The strangeness of the stitched soul, or what I believed to be my stitched soul. I had none of the memories of this girl at all, but the feelings were something I simply knew, the movements felt like something I've done a thousand times over. 

“Ahah this is perfect”, Airy chimed, she turned with a grin holding up a fairly thin and black and gold dress, not too thin to be called skimpy though. Good for movement in any case. If anything was to happen, or I needed to run very far away I wouldn’t be caught up in too much fabric at least.  

I stood in front of a mirror, a light bruise on my forehead, the dress swaying around me like dark fairy wings, I’d have to say I looked beautiful even with my hands shaking. Gold eyes reflected like a demon; the black slashes of the upper dress contrasted against my pale skin. I blushed, entranced by my figure. Airy looked like a proud mother on my right side, and Bella just looked dead tired from my left.  

“Alright now for a bit of makeup”, Airy said, and that was it, I was ready. The bruise was covered admirably, and my cheeks were a bit flushed.  

Right as they finished Miranda came storming into the room, as if she was breathing against the door…waiting, “She’d better be ready girls, or a light lashing will be the least of your worries”, Her presumed pomp was laughable, 

Airy crooked her head turned and smiled, Though I noticed her nose twitch in annoyance, “Miss Lin is all put together, do as you wish ma’am.”, I wondered where that difference went when it came to me. 

I got dragged again, a pair of shoes ready and waiting near the door. I walked out and stumbled a bit. I didn’t realize just how nervous I was, something that both sides of my soul could agree to.  

Breath in and out-I couldn’t close my eyes, wished I could. Tap tap tap…our steps went against the stone. The music became louder. Gas lantern light poured from the sides of the walls.  

Breath in and out-Miranda whispered something to me…I didn’t notice, this isn’t me-why am I here-why am I alive-what is this world? No answers.  

Breath in and out…, “Announcing the first daughter of Marquis Dae-Deamon, Heiress Linnetha Aun-Deamon”. I tottered up to the walkway like a penguin, stumbling as a tide of clapping drowned me. This was going to suck.