Anisa was the first to break the silence, “So, still not talking about your mom?”
Out here and with the problem so far away, he let his guard down. “What could I honestly tell them? ‘Hey guys. I know it has been a year but I’m still not over being hugged by my dying mother. I still haven’t used that bathroom and have been using the local convenience store because somehow that is less traumatic.’ Yeah, that’s gonna go over super well with people who have normal lives.”
She laughed a bit at how he said it, glad that it got a smirk from him too. She put her hand on his shoulder and stated firmly, “Her note said ‘It’s not your fault.’ I don’t think that could apply to anyone but you. And she even hugged you, as gross as that is. No one is going to blame you for not getting over it. Just try not to let her death define you. You are going to be okay.”
His smile faded as he grumbled under his breath. She punched him in the arm and he punched hers back. They got into a minor slap fight before he said, “You are the only friend I have after the accident because everyone keeps acting weird. Even the therapist my dad hired to save face seems to be trying to get me on drugs to handle my grief.”
Anisa asked sternly, “Did you tell her you already have a supplier? I don’t like sharing clients with other dealers.”
He narrowed his eyes, “The worst part is I can never be sure if you are joking because you might actually be that person in the statistics.”
She shrugged, “I don’t know. Maybe I am.”
He sighed, “Look, I just want to deal with my grief my own way. This isn’t the kind of thing you just forget and move on with in your life.” he sat down at the base of the tree, the image of what he saw that day clearly bothering him.
Anisa nodded, “Yeah, I don’t doubt it. But the problem is you haven’t been grieving. You keep tearing up everything you write, you won’t go into the bathroom, you start staring into space whenever anything in the ballpark comes up. Terry almost kicked your ass today and I know it wouldn’t have helped in any way. That’s a real deep low.” Shawn continued to stare into the distance. She sat down next to him, “Shawn, you can only move on when you start walking again. Her gravestone isn’t going to go anywhere. The memories of her driving you to school didn’t stop you from using her car. That was a step forward.”
He nodded slowly. He then said something that warmed her heart some, “Mom used to say that as long as there is breath in your lungs there is a chance things can get better.” She tried not to point out the irony but she was glad that his eyes were lighting up for the first time in a year. It was just a glimmer, but it was enough to put her mind at ease.
If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.
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The day was perfect. The fog prevented anyone from seeing more than a few feet, but the sun was still trying to cut through with the promise of a sunny day. Everyone was wearing black and for the first and last time everyone was finally paying attention to her friend. Still, she couldn’t understand what happened. She had spoken to him just the other day and he seemed fine. As his father gave a dramatic but entirely hollow eulogy and her heart was still struggling to accept it, an oddly cheery voice spoke from over her shoulder. “I always love funerals. People coming together to try and overcome the pain and anguish that only death can bring.”
She turned to face the invader and was thrown that no one else seemed to react to the woman's comments. She whispered tentatively, “So are you a friend of the family or just a passerby?”
The woman smiled a silvery smile and said firmly, “Actually, he was a client of mine and I like to check with my customers to make sure everything is okay. On that note, how are you feeling?” A deathlike chill went up Anisa’s back, something telling her that this woman was bad news. As if recognizing the effect, the woman laughed, “I forgot that you don’t know what he did. Or at least not yet. But I can fix that. I’m sure he would love for you to know what his deal with me was, since you were involved.”
She produced a small perfectly cut and polished orange gem. Motioning Anisa to hold out her palm, she dropped it into the young girl’s hand. From the moment it touched, she could feel her head start to ache as sensations and images of what never was began to flash through her mind. Helpless against it, she could only absorb them. Scenes of her hands covered in blood, of far away planets and peoples she hadn’t even considered before now, of repeated conflicts with Shawn until one day his blade was driven through her chest. A decade as a prisoner and a weapon of mass murder.
When she was finally released from these memories, her eyes were streaming tears and she threw up on the ground before falling to one knee. The woman leaned over her and whispered, “According to our deal, if someone can find the crystal that he used to use as a power source and finds the right place to take it, he can come back. But then again, why throw away the life he gave up everything to save?” The woman stood, laughing a little, and walked into the fog, “Our part of this deal is over, Sasori. I look forward to what you do with your time.”
Everyone turned to see Anisa kneeling in her own vomit and she was quickly escorted to a bathroom to clean herself up. As the other girls helped her get clean, all muttering relief that none of it got on the dress, she couldn’t shake the images. The memories. She felt a nearly primal anger and disgust. At herself. At what she had seen. At the force that had compelled her to do it. But lurking in the back of her mind was a slowly dawning realization.
She asked the girls again, seemingly manic, “What did Shawn’s note say?” She needed to hear it again. She needed to be sure.
After many questions of if she was okay, they eventually said ‘It’s not your fault’. It froze her very blood. Whether it was her Shawn or the one that had made the deal, the message was clear to her. He didn’t abandon anyone. But if what she saw was true... she passed out in the bathroom, her mind still trying to put the pieces together.