Empirical Gnollage: Installment 72 [https://squirrel.dogphilosophy.net/Installment072.png]
"What do you mean you have no idea, you were acting like you were in on whatever all this is about!" Al objected.
"It's not so hard, there are lots of stories about mysterious conspiracies! If you know how the dialogue usually goes you can just play along!"
"What about you?" Al asked, turning to Bote, "when you gave him that signal of your religious calling, he relaxed. Do you know anything about this?"
"Not at all, as of now. However, there are clearly secretive plans in progress here, so the presence of one such as myself in the service of the god of plans, plots, secrets, and conspiracies is natural. I have faith that we are meant to be here, even if we were not aware of it."
"Does anybody besides me here think this is dangerous and we shouldn't be doing it? We should at least confess to the man that we don't know what he's talking about so..."
"Don't you dare!" Wikwocket interrupted, "This is the most intriguing thing that's happened to us since we started, don't you dare spoil it before we have a chance to play it out and see where it goes! Besides, it's already gotten us a job, and seeing how much money people must be pushing through Hell's Bathtub every day I'll bet the pay is great! Sounds like we will even find that book you want so you can start summoning demons to overthrow the nobility!"
"I'm not!... I just need to conjure up a small demonic spirit, it'll just be a weak thing that I can bind to myself and command to do things so I can study it and learn more about how the dangerous ones work, I'm not going to open the gates to Pandaemonium and flood the world with evil like some trashy puppet-show villain or something!"
"Don't give up so soon, I think being overthrown by a trashy puppet-show villain suits the nobility just fine! Well, maybe with the exception of a few who liked my performance, I suppose."
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They returned to their room. Al took off his belts, pulled his shirt on, donned his trousers, and finally tossed the towel aside. He looked around to see that everyone else had finished dressing while he wasn't paying attention, except for Gruntle who had been as dressed as he ever was to begin with. Al tried to ignore their impatient stares as he buckled everything back together.
"I don't know what the rest of you want, but I want to get something to eat, and then see if anyone here sells writing and magical supplies so I can finish preparing my experiments in fire-production," Al suggested.
Gruntle was already drooling on the floor as Al finished speaking, so they headed out.
They only got lost once trying to find their way out of the massive central building to the main street. After backtracking down a few hallways, the managed to locate an exit and stepped out into the awakening bustle of the market. They followed Gruntle's nose past carts selling pies, breads, and patries to find a vendor selling smoked bacon-wrapped sausages. In Al's opinion, they cost substantially more than they should have, but they were admittedly very good.
"All right, I think I saw a little apothecary shop with some ink and papers in their window when we were led through here yesterday, I'm going to go see if I can get the supplies I need. Anybody want to come along?"
"I don't know, do they make anything that explodes or makes flashes of bright colors?" Wikwocket asked skeptically, "with all the rich people running around here, I imagine they only have boring safe stuff so as not to frighten the delicate nobles."
"I won't disagree with that assumption, but they might still have what I actually need."
"As exciting as I'm sure inks and papers might be," Wikwocket said, "I think some of us would rather see what else people are selling around here. Right, Gruntle?"
The gnoll gave this some thought, then grunted.
"How about you, Bote?" Al asked.
"I believe I should take some time to visit the religious institutions here and see if there is anything that I should know or do."
"Well, okay. How about we meet back up at our room when we're done. I'm just going to see if I can get the supplies I need and go back to my experiments. Just be back in time to get to the mysterious dinner meeting," Al suggested, "Oh, and remember, something bad will probably happen to you if you intentionally torment anybody, so try not to mess with the nobles please."
Wikwocket made a show of exaggerated shock. "Me? Why, I would do no such thing! Gruntle and I shall simply explore the fine goods available to the public here, being prominently visible to many people who we will in no way molest. It's all their own problems if they don't like us being there. Right, Gruntle?"
The tale has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the violation.
She ignored the confused look the gnoll gave her. "Right. We'll be seeing you later!" she announced to Al and Bote, then shot a challenging squint at Gruntle. The gnoll crouched, squinting back.
Then, Wikwocket took off at a run, and Gruntle gave chase, and the two of them soon disappeared into an alleyway. Al shook his head, and with a nod to Bote he turned and headed down the street, looking at the shops for the apothecary that he'd seen.
The entire main street was a riot of commerce. In addition to the wandering food vendors carrying wares or pushing them on carts, the buildings on both sides of the street were all shops selling all manner of goods and services. There seemed to be no particular pattern to them - Al spotted a fortuneteller next to a jewelry shop, which was next to a lawyer's office, which was next to a gambling establishment, which was next to a massage parlor. A small bookshop was next, which Al decided to investigate.
There were not many bookshelves, but they were clean and immaculately organized. The upper half of each bookshelf seemed to contain mostly books discussing the histories of various noble families and biographies of particular individuals, together with books on various subjects that had been purportedly written by members of those families. The lower shelves held many copies of several books on local knowledge, such as a work on the history of Hell's Bathtub itself, a book on the regional folklore, a book of maps detailing the local area, a book of recipes ostensibly provided by a number of the local food-sellers, and even a few copies of Dangers of the Bloodless Swamp.
"If you care to examine any of the books, I would ask that you wear clean gloves before purchase," a quavering voice called out. Al looked to see a short elderly man partly obscured by the sales counter he was standing behind. The old man wore a neat, well-fitted leather vest with numerous pockets over a clean shirt, and wore white cloth gloves. He held up another pair of gloves above the counter. Al obligingly walked over and accepted them. They were a little loose, but fit well enough to use.
"Thank you, I was just passing by and was interested in seeing what you had," Al told the old bookseller as he stepped back over to the shelves and reached for one of the copies of Dangers of the Bloodless Swamp. "Do you happen to have any magic books?"
"Do you mean books about magic, or books that are, themselves, magical?" the bookseller asked.
"Oh, well, I suppose I mean books about magic," Al replied as he flipped idly through the pages of the book he'd picked up. It seemed to have some historical information near the beginning, though the language was of a style that seemed more sensational than factual. The rest of the book seemed to be illustrated pages discussing the flora and fauna of the swamp. He paused at the drawing of the pink snakes they'd run into while trying to rest in the ruined tavern. The book called them "landpreys". "Bloody swamp ferns" were on another page.
"No, not really any books about magic," the old bookseller told Al. "Well, probably not the kind you're looking for. There's a copy of Lord Smitherton's Lewd and Lurid Illusions there which involves quite a lot of uses for illusionary magic, but it's not really about the magic."
"No, not really what I was thinking of," Al agreed. He looked at the strip of parchment inserted between the last page and the cover of Dangers of the Bloodless Swamp which simply had "Price: 30 g" calligraphed in neat letters on it. He winced and closed the book, carefully replacing it onto the shelf where he'd gotten it. "How about the books that are magical?"
"No, don't have any of those either."
Al bit back an urge to ask why the bookseller had asked which one he meant if he didn't have either one anyway. "Oh, well, I've been looking for a book titled Otherworldy Beings and How to Make them Pay in particular."
"Can't say I've seen that one. We do sometimes get magic books of one kind or another in trade, along with others. I keep the books we get in trade on that back shelf over there if you want to look."
Al went to examine the bookshelf, finding an unpredictable collection of topics in different languages, and in varying conditions. None of the topics that Al could read particularly interested him. In addition to the majority written in the common language, there were several books written in Elvish, a Dwarven text on the working of soft metals like gold and lead, and another on the uses of pumice-stone, and even one written in a curving, swirling script that reminded Al of what someone had once told him was the language used by the fae. He returned to the other bookshelves and scanned the noble-family names mentioned on the top shelves.
"I don't see anything about the Wulfcynn family in here," he remarked.
"Wulfcynn? As in Baron Hearne Wulfcynn? Governor of the regions west of here encompassing the area around Silveroak and down to the southern border? Currently last of his family line, influence declining at court? That Wulfcynn?"
"Yes, him."
"Nope. No books about him. Only reason I even know that much about him is I've had a few other customers come in looking for something about him, too. Probably why his family's not doing so well. All the successful nobles have books written about them, even if they write them themselves or pay someone else to."
"Who buys that kind of book? It seems like they'd be...sort of embellished if the nobles are having them written about themselves."
"Oh, they're complete balderdash, really. But, if you read them properly, they still tell you what the noble family wants, needs, likes, and hates. Valuable knowledge if you have dealings with them. Naturally the nobles also find it flattering when someone buys their books to read about them."
Al had begun to pull the gloves off to give them back when the bookseller's comment brought a thought to mind. He glanced once more over the family names but didn't see what he was looking for.
"Is there anything about the Borge family?" Al asked.
"Don't know a noble family with that name. Oh, there is a merchant by the name of Borge who comes by here once in a while to buy or sell something. Man has a good head for the market, always seems to know what what books he's looking for when he's buying, and when he sells me one I can usually get a buyer for it soon after, who's willing to pay a good markup to get it. Never seen any books about him or his family though."