The room was quiet for a long while, so I decided to take the time to eat my breakfast. I registered that it tasted good, but I found I couldn’t enjoy it. It was nourishment, and I felt my body craving food, so I ate until my plate was empty. I sat back, and a servant promptly moved forward to take it. The others had cleared their plates as well, and the Emperor and Master Kiev were engaging in small talk about the College.

The break in conversation had given me time to think more about what I wanted to say, and I decided there was no better time than this to do it. I would probably loose my chance and my nerve if I didn’t speak up now. So I waited for a break in the conversation and launched into what had been on my mind all morning.

“Father, it has come to my attention that your Protector may be in jeopardy of loosing his position because of me. I would like the opportunity to tell my side of things if I may.”

Once again I found all three pair of eyes were on me. The Emperor gave me a knowing look. I suspected he knew exactly what I was going to say. It didn’t matter. I needed to do this for me.

“Go on,” the Emperor replied.

I paused for a moment to steady my nerves, and continued. “I can’t tell you how much of a shock it was that one minute I was taking a shower, and the next I found myself thrown up against the back of it and struggling to breathe. I understand why he did it, even then, but I was angry.

“He didn’t have to be so aggressive. He could have made his point another way. But I wasn’t just angry at him. I was angry at everything and everyone. It hasn’t been easy getting used to such sudden changes, and a lot of the changes I haven’t been very happy about. And I realize that maybe I haven’t been coping with it all as well as I thought I was.

“So when he released me from his mind control grip or whatever you call it, I didn’t hesitate to lash out at him. I knew that going up against him was stupid. I know a lot about how to handle myself in a fight, but I knew I would never beat him. Or at least, that was what was running in my mind when I threw the first punch.

“You have to know that I had no idea about what was behind the adaptable lock. One minute I was fighting, and loosing badly, and then the next, I had this surge of forgotten memories rushing through me. In the following moment, I knew exactly what to do to take this guy down. I didn’t even try to restrain myself, because at this point, I was bleeding out and I knew I didn’t have long.

“I put the Captain down quick and hard, because at that point, I wasn’t sure he was going to stop. I think I had pushed him a little too far. So I did what I did out of self preservation. I am glad that I didn’t kill him. God, am I glad for that. Relieved actually.

“But then I hear he’s going to loose his position because of what happened, and well, considering I started it, I don’t think it’s right. He was only trying to do his job after all. And I want to speak up for Tessa as well. She never would have been in my room and had the opportunity that she did, if the conflict between the Captain and I hadn’t escalated.”

I finished what I had to say, or at least some of it, and sat back waiting for whatever came next. I could feel my body tight with tension, and I felt terribly vulnerable under the three pairs of eyes that had not left me during my little confession.

The Emperor sat back in his chair with a small upturn at of the corners of his mouth. “I have to admit, Adar that this whole incident has left Ko-tus and I in a bit of a quandary on how to move forward. If the incident with Hame was isolated that would be one thing, but it did come right after your other little outburst the night before. So it has left the Admiral wondering if you are a threat to my own security.”

Fear blossomed through me, and I looked to Vang through the corner of my eye. I had actually been trying to avoid looking at him since I sat down. I could feel his hard gaze on me. It was like he wanted to say something, but only barely kept it to himself. This was why. He thought I intended the Emperor harm.

I swallowed hard, realizing that maybe it wasn’t just Captain Hame’s and Tessa’s future and well-being I should be concerned with. I leaned forward to speak, but the Emperor raised a hand to stop me.

“However, I never thought this was the case at all, and I appreciate you telling us your side of what happened, and confirming my own thoughts on your motivations. It is in your favor that you spoke up in the defense of others instead of yourself.

“And it speaks well of you that you are willing to admit your own failings in the matter, but the simple fact is, none of it would have happened if Captain Hame had not come to your room at all.

“I had even warned him not to confront you on the matter after he had spoken to me about it. Yes, normally, Hame has a great deal of freedom in how he has been allowed to deal with potential threats to me. For the most part, I do not care what actions he takes as long as he gets results. But he knew I would be displeased at him addressing you.

“Furthermore, his actions put you in harms way, and nearly got you killed you, so do you really think I should forgive and forget? And let’s not forget that you beat him in a fight that he, one of the most skilled and renowned Protectors in the Empire, should have easily won, even if you did know quat-lo. Do you think he would forgive and forget such a humiliation?

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“I’m afraid that even though Captain Hame did manage to survive his wounds from the fight, he will have to suffer the consequences of his bad decision as well as Tessa. I know this might seem extreme to you, Adar, but I assure you that I would not do this sort of thing lightly. I am fully aware of his long service to me and greatly appreciate it, but if I cannot trust him to follow my orders, then what good is he to me? Not to mention that I think he would be a continued threat to you, because of your own actions.

“And as for Lady Tessa, she came her nearly three years ago for a simple visit and never left. I allowed her continual presence because she wasn’t causing any issues and many here at the palace enjoyed her… shall we say talents. She chose to do something she knew would draw my attention and displeasure. Lady Tessa should be grateful I am only expelling her from the White Palace.”

My heart sank. I couldn’t believe this was happening. Neither of them deserved this. But I couldn’t help but admit that the Emperor had made a few valid points. I had seen the look in the Protector’s eyes before I caused him to go unconscious. He certainly would never forget and forgive.

The guilt came back like a violent avalanche. This is what happened when you let anger get the best of you. I understood that on a logical level, but this was the first time in my life I had let it get the best of me and that it actually ruined other people’s lives.

“What will happen to them?” I managed to get around the lump in my throat.

“Kaller Hame’s injuries still need time to heal.” Master Kiev was the one to speak up this time. “He will go back to the College as soon as he is able to travel. Once there, he will undergo the bond severing ceremony. If he survives that, then he will receive a position at the College, we make sure to take care of our own, no matter their circumstances.”

If he survives? I opened my mouth to ask what that meant, but the Admiral spoke up for the first time since I sat down.

“Now that’s been settled. I wish to discuss the Xlero.”

I didn’t think any of it was close to being settled, but his words certainly got my attention. I had not heard a word from anyone since I arrived at the palace about the ship we had to abandoned just outside of Ethian space. I felt a little bad I had completely forgotten about it and the people we left behind, but then considering everything that had happened the last few days, maybe I should cut myself a little bit of a break.

“Did you find the ship?” I asked eagerly.

The Admiral gave me a frown like he didn’t really want to hear what I had to say, but then seemed to think better of it and gave me a slight nod.

“Xlero was found, but the crew itself are missing. It is a conundrum since there are no other ships missing than the ones used to evacuate a week ago.”

“I saw the report you sent to me yesterday, Ko-tus. Why are you bringing that up now?” The Emperor said with clear annoyance in his voice.

“I know that you wish me to escort the Prince and Master Kiev to the College, and then have me help in the selection of the Prince’s new Protector. I have ten names that I vetted already. It really is just a matter of him choosing one from the list, minus the one you choose for yourself, of course, Excellency. So nine names, then. I think the Prince is competent enough to be able to make that choice for himself.

“And while he is doing that and being assessed by those at the College, I request permission to join Captain-Major Wexlen at the Xlero. It is only a day and a half travel from Sora X. Wexlen is requesting extra manpower for a grid search of where we believe the Xlero traveled after it was evacuated.”

“You intend to go back outside the border?” The Emperor asked. His frustration turned to genuine question.

“Just a few light-years, Excellency. Yes, it’s a risk, but I think it’s important to discover what happened to the crew.”

“I agree, but not at a risk to you, Ko-tus.”

The Admiral dipped his head in a small bow to the Emperor. “I appreciate that, Excellency, and that is why I will be sending Wexlen outside Ethian space with the Fordex. The plan is for me to be monitoring the search from the Maxem safely within the border.”

The Emperor took a long sip from his goblet as he thought on the request. I took the opportunity to drink the last of my own wine. It tasted bitter, but it was also strong and helped soften the edginess I’d felt since sitting down at the table.

I waited with the others to hear what the verdict would be. I, for one, was all in favor of the Admiral depositing us at the College as he did his investigation. The last thing I needed was Vang hovering behind me with his glower of disapproval while I picked a guy from the list he suggested.

“While finding out more about the Xlero is important, I think my son’s safety takes precedent, Ko-tus. He’s been attacked three times in the past few weeks. I would feel much better if you were nearby until he has bonded with his new Protector.”

“Emperor, if I may.” Master Kiev spoke up. “I would like to reassure you that there really isn’t a safer place in the Empire to be than the Protectorate. I even talked to the First Director personally about the Prince’s upcoming visit. He is already making preparations, including making it known that every person at the College is to keep a watchful eye over the Prince while he is there.”

The Emperor gave Master Kiev a long look before turning to the Admiral. “I suppose that will be a suitable arrangements. But I insist that you speak personally with the Director before handing my son off to him and make sure of his protection. We thought Adar would be safe in the palace, and that certainly hadn’t been the case.”

The Admiral gave the Emperor a nod. “Of course, Excellency.”

“And Ko-tus, I want daily reports of your search whether they are fruitful or not. I also want you to stop whatever it is you are doing once you receive word Adar is ready to come back to the palace and deliver him back here.”

“Yes, Excellency.”

The Emperor looked satisfied as he pushed back his chair and stood. That caused the Admiral and Master Kiev to start to stand, but the Emperor waved them off.

“Then I will leave everyone to it. I have other business to attend to. Adar, walk with me. I wish to speak with you before you leave.”

That sent a spike of fear through me. From our conversation at the table, I thought maybe things were alright. That he wouldn’t hold what happened with the Captain and Tessa against me. But maybe he did. Maybe I had not just screwed those two over, but Earth as well. My heart thudded in my chest as I followed him into the transport alcove just outside the door.