The living room felt foreign to Flo as he stepped inside. The walls were the same soft cream color, and the same knitted blanket was draped over the arm of the couch, but everything else seemed smaller, quieter. Maria’s home, once a hub of warmth and laughter, now held a stillness he wasn’t sure how to navigate.
Maria appeared in the doorway to the kitchen, a faint smile tugging at her lips. “Hey, stranger.”
“Hey,” Flo replied, his voice a little stiff. He shifted awkwardly, holding the bottle of wine he’d brought like it was a shield.
Maria raised an eyebrow, glancing at the label. “You didn’t have to do that.”
“It felt weird to come empty-handed.”
She nodded, taking it from him. “Well, thanks. I’ve been meaning to stock up anyway.” She gestured toward the couch. “Go ahead and sit. I’ll grab us some glasses.”
Flo hesitated, then sank into the couch, running a hand over his jeans. He hadn’t been here since before Alex’s death—since before everything fell apart. The last time he’d visited, Alex had been curled up on this same couch with Maria, laughing over some stupid TV show while he made fun of them from the kitchen.
Maria returned with two glasses, handing one to him before settling into the armchair across from him. She tucked her legs underneath her and studied him for a moment. “You’ve been off the grid for a while.”
Flo gave a faint smile. “Yeah. I’m trying to change that.”
She tilted her head. “What brought that on?”
He hesitated, swirling the wine in his glass. “A friend of mine. Dave. He’s been pushing me to get out of my own head, stop wallowing. Said I should reconnect with people who knew Alex—who knew me back then.”
Maria’s brow furrowed. “I don’t think I know Dave.”
“You don’t,” Flo admitted. “He’s a friend of a friend. I met him about six months ago. He’s... persistent.”
“Sounds like a good thing.”
“Yeah,” Flo said quietly. “It is.”
Maria waited for him to say more, but when he didn’t, she leaned forward. “What’s been going on with you, Flo? Really?”
He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck. “It’s been a lot. I spent the first year just... surviving, I guess. Work, sleep, repeat. And then a few months ago, I met Dave. He stated dragging me out ever since. Coffee, drinks, movies. I fought him on it, but... I guess I needed it.”
Maria smiled faintly. “That’s good. I’m glad someone was there for you.”
Flo hesitated, then said, “I also... I’ve started dating again.”
Maria blinked, surprised. “Oh.”
“I wasn’t sure if I should bring it up,” he added quickly. “It feels weird to even say it out loud. But I thought you should know. You were her best friend, after all.”
Maria’s expression softened. “Flo, you don’t need my permission. Alex wouldn’t have wanted you to be alone forever.”
“I know,” he said, his voice tinged with guilt. “But it still feels wrong, like I’m betraying her somehow.”
Maria leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. “Listen to me. You’re not betraying her. You loved Alex, and you always will. But you’re allowed to find happiness again. That doesn’t mean you’re forgetting her.”
Flo looked down at his glass, the wine catching the light. “It just feels... complicated.”
Maria nodded. “Grief always is. But she’d want you to live, Flo. She’d want you to find joy where you can.”
He looked up at her, the faintest trace of a smile on his lips. “Thanks, Maria.”
“Don’t thank me,” she said, waving him off. “Just promise me one thing.”
“What’s that?”
“Don’t disappear on me again,” she said, her voice soft but firm.
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He nodded, his throat tight. “I won’t.”
Silence settled between them, but it wasn’t uncomfortable.
“So,” Flo said awkwardly, wanting to break the silence. To not give his thoughts a chance of ruining this. “How have you been?”
Maria tilted her head, considering the question. “Better than I was, but... not always great,” she admitted. “It’s hard, you know? Some days are fine, and others feel like the world’s been knocked off its axis again.”
Flo nodded. “Yeah. I know.”
They fell silent again, the weight of shared grief filling the space between them.
“I’ve started cleaning out some of our house.”, Flo admitted. “It’s… hard to say the least. Somethings are fine to do, but then I find something emotional and have a breakdown.”
Maria nodded, giving him a small smile.
“I can’t stop thinking of what I could have done better. I shouldn’t have left her. If I’d just been here that week, if I’d called more, checked in more, maybe...” He trailed off, his throat tightening. Maria reached across the table, her hand resting lightly on his. “Flo, you need to stop blaming yourself for something you couldn’t control.”
He shook his head, his eyes brimming with tears. “But I could have. I should have. She was struggling, and I knew it. I just didn’t realize how much.”
Maria’s own eyes glistened as she took a deep breath. “Flo, none of us did. You weren’t the only one who missed the signs. I missed them, too.”
Flo looked at her, startled. “What do you mean?”
Maria hesitated, her fingers curling slightly against his hand. “She confided in me a lot before... before everything happened. She told me things I didn’t share with anyone else because I thought it was what she needed. I thought I was helping by being her safe space, but I didn’t see how close she was to giving up.”
The confession hit Flo like a punch to the gut. He pulled his hand away, his gaze dropping to the table. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t think I needed to,” Maria said, her voice trembling. “She always ended those conversations with something hopeful, like, ‘I’ll get through it,’ or, ‘Don’t worry, I’m fine.’ I believed her because I wanted to believe her. But now... I can’t help wondering if I should have done more, too.”
The air between them grew thick with unspoken regrets. Flo closed his eyes, trying to block out the storm of emotions threatening to overwhelm him.
Maria reached forward, placing her hand on his. “Flo, we’ll never stop wishing we could have done more for her. But we have to find a way to let go of the guilt. It’s not what Alex would have wanted. And I’m really glad you’re back.”
Flo could only nod, his throat tight with emotion. He knew, that Alex would have never reproached him, wouldn’t want him to feel guilty. And hearing it from Maria, getting forgiveness from her best friend, lifted something of his chest. The weight didn’t vanish entirely, but for the first time, he could imagine carrying it without collapsing.
Maria leaned back, cradling her glass of wine in her lap. Flo stared at his, swirling the dark liquid absently as his thoughts churned.
The past year had been a blur of survival. He’d built routines, structures to keep himself from falling apart, but grief had always been there, lurking under every step, every breath. It was there in the quiet moments, in the memories tied to the smallest objects—Alex’s favorite mug, her old boots by the door, the book she never finished reading.
He thought of Dave. Of the way he’d appeared in his life like an unexpected beam of light, relentless in his attempts to pull Flo out of the shadows. The first time they met, Flo had nearly walked out of the restaurant before saying a word. But Dave’s easy smile and unflappable energy had drawn him in, inch by inch, until Flo found himself laughing at some dumb pun he couldn’t even remember now.
“You’re thinking about your date, aren’t you?” Maria’s voice cut through his thoughts, her tone teasing.
Flo blinked, startled. “What?”
“Your Date. The one person that you have ‘started dating again’ with. You got that faraway look for a second there. Spill it, Flo. What’s the deal?”, She made air quotes with her fingers, while grinning at him.
Heat crept up Flo’s neck, and he looked away, flustered. “It’s nothing. I mean, it’s... it’s not nothing, but it’s not—”
Maria raised an eyebrow, her grin widening. “Flo. Just say it.”
He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, fine. I’m dating Dave.”
Maria’s eyes widened in surprise before she let out a delighted laugh. “Wait, what? Flo, that’s amazing! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, a sheepish smile tugging at his lips. “I guess I wasn’t sure how to bring it up. And it’s still kind of new. I mean, we’ve been seeing each other for a couple of months now, but it’s... complicated.”
“Complicated how?”
Flo hesitated, searching for the right words. “It’s not like I don’t care about him—I do. A lot. But part of me feels like I’m learning to be a whole person again, and he’s... he’s been so patient with that. He knows about Alex. He knows I’m still figuring things out.”
Maria nodded, her expression thoughtful. “Sounds like he’s a good guy.”
“He is,” Flo said softly. “Too good for me, probably.”
Maria waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, stop that. You deserve good things, Flo. And honestly? I think Alex would be thrilled for you.”
Flo raised an eyebrow. “You think so?”
“Absolutely,” Maria said with a grin. “She’d probably have some smartass comment like, ‘Took you long enough, you idiot,’ but she’d mean it with love.”
He chuckled, the sound surprising him with its ease. “Yeah. That sounds like her.”
Maria leaned forward, her expression warm. “Flo, you’re allowed to be happy again. With Dave, with anyone. You don’t have to carry her memory like a chain around your neck. Let it be something that lifts you up instead of holding you down.”
Her words settled deep in his chest, quiet and powerful. He nodded slowly, feeling relieved and hopeful.
“You’re not alone in this, Flo,” Maria said softly. “And you don’t have to figure it all out overnight. Just take it one step at a time.”
He looked at her, his lips curving into a small, genuine smile. “Thanks, Maria. For everything.”
“Anytime,” she replied with a grin. “But seriously, I’m going to need all the details about this Dave guy. Favorite food, embarrassing habits, the works.”
Flo laughed, shaking his head. “I’ll think about it.”