Chapter 174 - A Lovable Gnome
“Do we have a deal, kid?” Edgar gave him a crooked smile. His bulbous eyes scanned him, looking for the hidden enchantment.
Is there a point in denying?
Kai discarded the possibility. Confidence could be faked, but the gnome had been too precise in its assumptions to be bluffing. He might also possess a lie-detection skill or—more likely—an artifact.
From the metal contraptions poking out of the pockets of his yellow robe, to the rings on his fingers and earrings on his pointy ears, everything the gnome wore glowed with mana.
But he doesn’t know which item is disguising my grade.
It was a relief to know Virya’s concealing amulet worked with an experienced runesmith. The problem was that the enhancement made him still appear as Orange ★. If someone watched him closely, it wouldn’t take long to notice his skills and attributes didn’t add up.
“How did you know?” Kai went straight to the point.
“Cause Mama gave me a beautiful pair of eyes.” Edgar blinked and let out a squeaky laugh. “You should ask what didn’t give it away.” He hopped off his stool and put on a silver-rimmed monocle that enlarged his black pupils to comic proportions.
“No one ever notices until I tell them.” Kai crossed his arms, trying to not flinch as the gnome came closer, peering through his enchanted glass. For once, he wasn’t the short one. Edgar’s wild tufts of hair might just reach his nose if he stood up straight.
“That's because most people are idiots. It’s obvious to anyone with a brain and the attributes to back it up.” The gnome fingered the golden hoop on his flopping ear. “I’ve never seen such a seamless cloak. It’s quite clever, I’ll give you that. You use a shitty enchantment on your shirt so no one would suspect the good one. Is it some kind of family heirloom? Is that why it doesn’t fit you?”
Darn it! How did you find out my evil plan?
Kai smiled. “It was a gift.” If the gremlin was interested in it, he’d keep the cards close to his chest.
Edgar grunted, displeased at the short answer. “I’ll give you a free piece of advice, kid. Everyone worries about hiding their Strength, but it’s Dexterity that gives one away. From how you walk and balance on those spindly legs, it’s written all over you. It might work with ignorant bumpkins, but anyone with a little enchantment knowledge and an observation skill can tell.”
“You were watching me the entire time, weren’t you?” Kai narrowed his gaze. He had barely taken a few steps into the hall. Even if what he said was true, the gnome had been too confident.
Edgar curved his lips, showing just a sliver of his sharp teeth. “I saw you ring my doorbell.”
The door puzzle? I should have made it look harder. He must love peeping.
“Why did you make it so easy if you don’t want visitors?”
“You haven’t seen other people’s attempts. I’d pay gold to see you call it easy in front of them.” Edgar chuckled and hopped back on his pink pillow. “You’re the second kid who made it through this year. If I made it any harder, people would throw a fit and start yelling. When it’s achievable and they still fail, most are too ashamed to tell anyone or come back.”
The gnome pulled a handful of purple nuts from a pocket and loudly crunched them. “Lend me your cloaking enchantment for one month and I’ll inscribe whatever weapon you want. Deal? I think I know where you hid it.”
Kai bit his cheek, trying to look conflicted. If Reishi had taught him anything, it was to always haggle even when the deal was good. Runesmiths were rare in the archipelago, and good ones rarer still. “I can agree on that, but I have ten fangs to enchant, and I need a substitute to mask my grade to Orange ★★.”
Always start high and work down, you’d be proud of me.
Edgar scrunched his wrinkly forehead. “Don’t push it, kid. I find your trinket a bit interesting, but it’s just an odd cloaking enchantment. As you can see, I can craft them too,” he gestured to the house around him. “I can give you another piece to disguise your grade, but I’ll only inscribe two blades.”
With Improvisation, Kai hid his surprise beneath an impassive look. The gnome must desire to check his amulet pretty badly. Edgar’s house said a lot about his skills and interest in the field. “Four fangs, and I’ll lend it to you for two months. My trinket must not be so worthless if you can't even find it.”
Did I push it too hard?
The gremlin pulled on his ear again before he broke into a disquieting large grin. “Let’s make a bet then. If I can point out your trinket, you just get the cloaking and the sea serpent’s tooth you brought. If you win, I’ll inscribe all the yellow fangs you have. Deal?”
Mhmm… I could take the two blades, that should be enough, or…
“Deal, but I also want an enchantment to hide my profession.” Kai shook his six-fingered hand.
Virya, don’t fail me now.
“You’ve got yourself a deal, kid. Don’t cry if you lose.” Edgar gave a large victorious smile, his bulbous eyes wandering over the accessories on his finger, wrist and neck. He slowly raised his hand to point. “It’s your ring!”
Kai exhaled a breath of relief. “Nope.”
Spirits, for a moment I thought I made a mistake.
“That’s impossible!” Edgar squealed. “That ring is definitely cloaked!”
“Yeah, but it’s not the one that hides my grade.” Kai repaid his victorious grin. Since the ring had been enchanted by Elijah and not Virya, it had been a risky, but not a blind bet.
The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.
Sorry butler, the witch wins this one.
The white hair on the gnome stood up like a vexed cat, so Kai pulled the metal amulet over his neck as proof. “See—”
“Gimmie!” The gremlin had snatched it away, deflating on the sirens of his pillow. “How…? This almost looks like…” His ears quivered in excitement. He shuffled with a multitude of lenses and mechanical gadgets to probe the pendant. With a brush of his finger, the tools appeared and disappeared from pockets too small to contain them.
Kai narrowed his focus.
Oh, is the robe a spatial artifact, or is he using it as a disguise?
He switched weight between his feet as the gnome ignored his existence, the exclamations growing louder with each minute. Kai had never been able to glimpse a wisp of mana from the pendant, though the gnome was clearly seeing something.
“Where did you find this? Do you know who made it?” When Edgar looked up, his left eyelid trembled—hopefully it was just a sign of excitement.
“I…” Kai retreated a step, considering the chances the gnome would pounce on him. “I’ll be happy to answer all your questions about the amulet in exchange for a favor when I need it.” His brain couldn’t think properly with an unhinged gnome staring at him.
Edgar considered it for a split second before agreeing. “It must be something of similar value, don’t come asking for an invisibility hat or an elemental bomb.”
“Okay…”
Would Virya be angry if I told him about her? Well, she's not here. I don’t know much anyway.
Kai kept his explanation to the witch alone, without elaborating on the estate or its other inhabitants. The gremlin looked surprisingly pleased with the information. He smiled like a giddy child on Christmas Eve, clutching the amulet to his chest.
If he starts to whisper sweet words to it, I’m out of here.
“Let’s see what I can do with this tooth.” Edgar made the pendant disappear in one of his pockets. With a wave, the papers Kai brought flew in his hand.
“Huh, these designs are a bit subpar…” His frown and grimace deepened as he browsed through them. “The rune composition is creative, I suppose, but that’s about the only thing I can say. This sword would break down in a week, and this one would be absurdly inefficient using a sea serpent's tooth. And this! How could anyone…”
The gnome rambled on the numerous foolish mistakes in the designs, taking out a red bottle of ink to scribble over the gravest errors. “Where did you get these?” Looking at Kai’s embarrassed silence, he got his answer. “Oh, these are yours. Looks like your teacher truly left, or she would have chopped your hands off to prevent the embarrassment.”
No need to sugarcoat it, asshole!
“I’ve never enchanted a weapon before,” Kai defended himself.
Edgar didn’t look impressed. “Then you shouldn’t have started with a fancy yellow material. You can’t build a golem if you can’t dig a hole.”
“I came here to ask for advice.”
“And that makes you slightly less foolish. Most of these designs need to be redrawn from scratch, and the others were made with as much luck as skill. I’ll need to see the fangs you have to fit the runes. I said I’d enchant all the ones you have, which only includes the yellow sea serpent’s teeth currently in your possession. How many did you buy, kid?”
“I don’t know, about twenty-five or so?” Kai enjoyed the blank look on the gnome’s face.
Edgar pulled on both his ears, grumbling about spoiled brats. “Why did your parents let you buy so many?”
“They didn’t, I hunted the serpent myself.”
“A yellow beast in the archipelago…? Wait a second.” The gnome pulled off the golden earring, slammed it against the desk a couple times and put it back on as if nothing had happened. “Could you repeat that?”
Guess now I know what he uses to detect lies.
Kai remained vague on the details of the hunt. The runesmith didn’t seem to care either way, mumbling curses in a foreign shrill language and pulling his ears like he wanted to rip them off.
“Fine, I’ll do it. Bring me the materials tomorrow, I’ll fix your disgraceful designs and get them done when I get the time.”
“Actually, I was hoping to work the runes myself.” Kai’s best smile was met with cold shoulders.
“You’re unqualified to work with material of this grade,” the gnome said disdainfully.
“I know, but maybe with your help—”
“No. Our deal doesn’t include babysitting, I’m too busy to take on an apprentice.”
Well, I doubt I’m going to get anything better.
“You do owe me a favor… It looked like my answers were very valuable.” Kai reminded him. He had thought of getting a free item in exchange, but tools and weapons could be bought with mesars, knowledge was much more precious and harder to obtain.
“Give me a moment.” Edgar walked to a corner. Hidden behind the cluttered desks, his squeaky voice still echoed clearly in the underground chamber. “Broken gods and rotting titans, why are you punishing me? Okay, I stole a piece of iridium from the altar, but I only did it twice fifty years ago! I'm a changed gnome now.”
If a god was listening, they didn’t answer. The gnome walked back with a resigned look, his ears flopping lower than usual. “I’ll give you a few tips, but no apprenticeship. You’ll do what I say when I say it, and I don’t want to hear you whine if you’re too dim to learn.”
Fine by me, Kai nodded.
“Good. What skills do you have for enchanting? Besides those for basic mana perception and manipulation.”
“Runes.”
“And…?”
“Does Inspect count as one? I evolved it to make it better with Runes.”
The gnome blinked twice. “I’m starting to see why your teacher left. I’m busy right now, we can start your lessons in a week, or two, or three. No rush.” He rummaged through his pockets and took out two stud piercings with a moonstone each. “Here, take them and get lost.”
Kai frowned at the pair of enchanted earrings. “What’re these for?”
“Didn’t you want a disguise for your grade and profession?” Edgar raised a bushy white eyebrow. “I didn’t promise you a custom job. Those will work just fine, and improve your squalid fashion sense on top. Free of charge.”
“They are earrings,” Kai said.
“Your deduction skills are astonishing, though I still fail to see your point. Why don’t you reflect on it outside my house? I hear they sell a wonderful apple pie across the street.”
“I can’t wear it,” Kai pointed to the sides of his head. “My ears aren’t pierced.”
The gnome snorted and took out a long pointy needle. The metal was marked with dark spots of either rust or blood. “Fine, stay still or I might miss. You might feel a little pinprick. Do you want them on different sides, or on the same ear?”
Kai jumped three steps back, nearly tripping on a broken horn left on the floor. His hands rose to protect his ears. “Don’t you have anything that doesn’t require making a hole through my body?”
Edgar rolled his bulbous eyes and put out the needle with a disappointed sigh. “You’re such a baby, they’re just a couple of tiny holes.” He rummaged into his robe. “Does this work for Your Highness, or is your wrist too soft?”
Kai caught a metal bracelet an inch before it hit his nose. A chain of fine interlocking plates covered in finer runes that softly glowed with mana. He considered asking if seawater might corrode and rust the metal, but one look at the angry gnome was enough to dissuade him. “That’s perfect, thanks.”
He squeezed through the bronze door and didn’t look back till he left the granite building behind. Sun and fresh air welcomed him outside, though he missed the enhanced mana density.
Damn, I knew it!
There was no bakery that sold apple pie across the street.