This was the life. As in the life I wanted to live. This bathroom was amazing. The steam sizzled as water dripped onto the hot rocks. I opened my eyes to the dimly lit room. I had set the light level at “candlelight.” I might be afraid of falling asleep here if I couldn't cast [Recharge Stamina]. The heat was unwinding my muscles. After two weeks of...No. This is no time to think about that. Don't think of the work. Think of the pay.
My [Contract] with the Caravan Master wasn't clear on the actual amount I was going to be paid. It was based on current market prices, conditional bonus requirements, overtime. I tried reading it when I had a minute to spare, but it had too many assumptions in it for me to know what it meant. All I was able to glean from it was that there was a twenty copper per hour minimum. That's all I could count on. If I did the math right, fourteen days and eight hours a day, then that meant more than twenty-two silvers.
The steam sizzled again.
It wasn't enough, but it was a start. I need a full gold. One hundred silvers. Twenty-two silvers would get me started with a place to stay and some gear. It wouldn't be enough to purchase a Soulburn ritual from the temple. That's what I needed the gold for. Maybe I could try my luck in the Dungeon. It would be best to keep traveling with the elves. They had a month left in Everdale before they went back to Aeseiriral. A whole month of Karma rich Quests while enjoyed the high life in Everdale. I just had to wonder if I could keep up with spending habits of these elves. They all came from money.
The steam sizzled again.
I was going to get one of these bathrooms. I had planned to take a [Personal Palace] when I hit Level 10 and the Tier 2 Abilities opened up. But this bathroom. I had not known this was an option. After I found out about what these bathrooms could do, I couldn't wait to get to my shift for Harmin. Because as soon as I was done, nobody could make get out of this bathroom until I wanted to leave. That was coming to end now. The [Contract] was up. I had to meet Harmin in two hours to pick up my pay and get out.
The steam sizzled again.
It was so sad. I had get this show on the road. I stood and sauntered over the chilled drink station in my robe. Yes, I got to wear my bathrobe in a bathroom.
“Apple Juice,” I said.
My glass filled up. I slammed it. The chilled juice kept my core at a safe temperature while my body was enjoying this relaxing heat. I wandered over to the hot tub control and turned on the bubbles. Just so sad. I only had another hour and half that I could stay in here.
----------------------------------------
Regamis and Forna were on guard outside of Harmin's office. There wasn't really an organized structure to the guards that worked for the caravan. Meallean, owner the white roc that the gnomish Caravan Master rode around on, was nominally in charge, but there were no sargents or captains. Everyone of the guards had carried themselves like professional military. They all took guard shifts. I still believed the guards were here to protect the children of very important people, not the Caravan Master.
I was expected, so they opened the door for me and I entered. Harmin was looking over a book when I walked in. It was tipped back toward him so I couldn't see the contents. He snapped the book shut the second I walked in.
“Eric,” he said. Reaching over his desk he offered me his hand. I shook it, it was a custom that both of our worlds shared. “Sit down, Sit down,” he said encouragingly.
I tried not flop in the finely embroidered upholstered chair. I was glad I had changed my clothes in the bathroom.
The gnome pulled a bag of coins about the size of a large fist out of his drawer. He dropped it from a inch or two above the top of his desk. Just enough for me to hear the coins jumble and jingle around inside the pouch.
He leaned back in his chair and placed his hands together, with only the fingertips touching. His face became pensive, and said, “Eric, I need to apologize. No one believed me when I told them what I had here. They didn't believe me when I told them about your recharging abilities. I know I can get you a better deal next time, but they low-balled us. I didn't make any more than you did on this. Just like the [Contract] said. With no material components-,”
I interrupted and gestured at the bag, saying, “Let me guess. That's twenty two or twenty three coins there.”
He smiled and nodded, “I guess I should expect it from you. That's pretty good math. It's actually twenty four.”
“Good math? I just multiplied fourteen days by eight hours and twenty coppers. At a hundred coppers to the silver that's twenty-two silvers and forty coppers.”
Harmin voice got sickly sweet with concern, “Oh, Eric...” He picked up the bag and dumped it out. “Not silvers...golds! Twenty-four golds.”
I looked down the coins. They were gold. Gobsmacked, I looked back up the Caravan Master's smug face, and asked “How?”
“Tier 1 restoration potions go for eight to ten silvers. Cost is half that, so four to five silvers. The [Contract] says we split fifty-fifty on products or services with no material cost. That's two silvers for you and two silvers for me. You were refilling people at least ten to twelve times an hour. Cost on Magic like restoration potions is not eight silvers is eight to ten. Average cost should be four and half silvers. They got the effects of a potion at less than cost! There was not even a potion cooldown effect. They low-balled us!” The last part came out as a snarl.
I was a little offended that Harmin was offended at only making the equivalent of a close to quarter million dollars each for something I conjured out of nothing.
I tried to placate him. “I can't complain too much. That's a couple of year's wages at twenty copper an hour.”
The gnome just shook his head. “Once you get to Level 10 you will understand. The prices go up. At Tier 2 you will spend golds like you spend silvers now. Coppers will become almost useless. Tier 1 people have problems lifting a single platinum coin. You feel good about this deal, but it should have been better. I hope that means you are open to continuing our relationship?”
He had an expectant look in his eyes, but I wasn't so sure about this.
“I'm not saying no, but I have other things I need to do. I want to get into the Dungeon and Level. I need to teach Aern'Lenninisal some Magic. I'd like to finish the Karma tour with everybody. What exactly do you want me to do?”
He leaned forward and smiled, “The same thing you have been doing. Recharging Chi, Stamina, and Mana while our students train. Your skillset is fairly unique.” He gestured to the gold spilled across his desk. “It's good money for your Level.”
'Unique.' As in attention getting. Celestium had warned me about this. In a world with [Evil] people where slavery was legal, you didn't want to stand out too much.
“Who would have to know about this,” I asked.
“The people we advertise to. That could be restricted to the Lords.” He nodded. “Exclusive clientele would let us raise prices.”
“What about limiting it the people that already know. Can't I just keep training the same people.”
Harmin grimaced, “Hmmm. That would be difficult. You would have to go Aeseiriral. Living there is not easy for a non-elf. It is not impossible. There are a few children in this group that have highly ranked parents. It would reduce the profit potential, but maybe we could ask for favors instead.”
“Why is difficult for me live in Aeseiriral, “ I asked.
“Only elves are allowed within the inner walls unescorted. To live in the Outer City requires a visa. Its is very lucky that your [Lawful Good]. It would take some time to arrange it,” He answered.
“I'll want to finish teaching Aern'Lenninisal at least one Magical Structure before I go back to training the others. That might take a while,” I said.
“You want to put off a well paying job, to teach an elf for free,” he pointedly asked.
“Not for free. We're exchanging Magic. I feel bad that I've been ignoring my promise to him.”
“That speaks to your character. It will help in the negotiations. Do you have any other requirements?”
“A few. I need help navigating in Everdale. I need find a temple. I want to finish the Karma tour. And those bathrooms! I want one of those where ever I go!”
I stood outside the Caravan Master's office thinking about that word, “Lucky.” Hearing it again in my conversation with Harmin, made me reflect. It wasn't the first I had thought about my life here as lucky. In my past life it was called having a blessed life. I knew that was possible here, there were gods after all, but they tended to require specific payment for their help. Then I remembered an off-hand comment by Celestium about how the Luck Statistic worked, “Luck skews the probability based on the relationship between your Luck and your opponent's Luck. When there is no opponent it skews based on the average of your Level.”
My Boon, [A Chance at Greatness] works off of Luck. If my Luck is at 50% of the Level Limit of Luck, then the Boon has 50% Chance of giving me an extra [Statistic Point]. In order to get the most out of it, the Statistic I always improve and [Limit Break] first is Luck. That means for most of my time on Elfandrael, I've been walking around with more Luck than I could naturally have. Every random encounter I've had, has as been affected by that Luck. Joining the elves was a great for collecting Karma and XP. Meeting Aern'Lenninisal to trade Magic, led to getting a free ride to Everdale. Join up with the caravan got me a great paying job and connections who wanted to keep my special advantages secret.
The advice Celestium gave me would eventually make me powerful, but I didn't think I had started out overpowered. Maybe I had. I smiled as thought, 'If I was OP, it was grossly unfair, and I liked it!' Celestium said he hadn't chosen me to be a savior fulfilling a prophecy. He didn't have special task like 'Defeat the Demon King' in mind for me. There were multiple Demon Kings on Elfandrael. I wasn't suppose to save the world. I was just suppose to have fun and live a [Lawful Good] life. He said that my future self had suggested I take [A Chance at Greatness]. But he picked me. The Divine Helpdesk said Celestium had precognitive powers. Did he pick me because he knew I would pick [A Chance at Greatness] to make sure the person he picked would be overpowered? Did he tell me about how the elves need to re-balance their souls to get me to get me to ally with the elves and help them?
“Are you ready?”
I jumped as Meallean interrupted my spiraling paranoia. I hadn't heard him approach. The black clad elf's face was slightly tilted to the side in a pose of anticipation.
“Sure. Let's go the temple of Enches.”
He nodded and started walking down the long hall to the Exit of the [Personal Palace]. As soon as we were outside he summoned Branufus, his white roc. There was no Magic. The [Mount] Ability is something anyone can get. The bird wasn't a magical Summon. It might be more technically correct to say the Branufus was recalled after being stored. Meallean lept from the ground to land on the back of the giant bird. It was at least five strides high. He tossed a rope ladder down to me, and I boarded.
I had ridden on Branufus before, but it only at night. Harmin always sent my party right to the hospital and healers halls when we arrived in a new village. He wanted to make sure the word got out about us. Sometimes I think he only followed Celestium because there wasn't a god of marketing. Everyone else visited Shrines in the morning of our arrival. Selenia, Nellamon, and I had to wait until night to bind our Shrines. This would be the first time I would be flying on Branafus during the day.
Meallean gave a snap to the reigns, and we were off. The lurch reminded me of one of my favorite things about flying back on Earth, the extra G-forces you experience when the pilot guns the engines to get the plane off the runway. As smooth and slow turning as a commercial jet is, feeling that sense of power coming from one is a little exhilarating. A jet airplane had nothing on Branafus. He launched us off the ground with a powerful leap.
Meallean's no-nonsense manner had hurried us into the air. The first opportunity for me observe Everdale was from the bird's-eye-view. I knew we were in the Merchant's Segment because, Aern'Lenninisal told me that's where we'd start. Below me I could see row upon row of gray portals with small display kiosks set up out front. Not every kiosk had a portal active, but most did. The rows were terraced along both sides of the valley that gave Everdale it's name.
Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.
The location of Master Meadowwalker's portal was on the highest row. That meant Branafus already had us above the tops of the mountains that formed the edges of the dale. In the center of the valley at its lowest part, was a double road highway made of dark gray cobble stones. They matched the color of the exposed rock in the mountains. That same type of rock extended away from the dale, into the distance. The broken and uneven lands on either sides of the valley made a secure barrier to most forms of invasion. Still, there were watchtowers scattered along barrier walls just outside the dale. None of which were visible from within the valley.
There were several other flying creatures and vehicles in the sky, and they were organized into skylanes. We soon joined the morning rush hour traffic in the sky over the city. Even the Magical can become mundane.
The wind rushing into my face made it hard to look around for long. We quickly passed away from the Merchant's Segment, heading further along the linear city. Everdale was built in valley that followed a straight line for seventy leagues. The valley widened and narrowed over its length, dividing the city into segments. We passed over a Residential Segment filled with a variety of different types of buildings, and then into the Capital Segment.
The Castle of Duke Edwards sat near the center of one the widest and longest segments. The dark stones of the castled match the mountains, as did most of the construction in Everdale. The castle had nine round towers with crenelated tops, guarding nine bridges spanning a moat. A single white road ringed the almost black castle. The nine bridges continued on as spoke roads, running between the nine temples surrounding the castle. The double road highway moved to the northeastern side of the valley to pass around the temples and the castle. As Branafus started to descend, I notice the road leading away from the city on the other side of the mountain. It matched the description Aern'Lenninisal gave me of the road to the Dungeon.
The temples in Everdale were huge. The ones in Neral City had been the size of European cathedrals. These were the size of stadiums. Growing up the South we had mega-churches. They could have congregations that numbered in the thousands. My friends and I used to make up nicknames for the bigger ones. I hadn't thought of the Babptidome in years. Even that church wasn't as big as the ornate temples.
We flew past the castles and the temples to reach the northern side of the segment. We touched down on a landing pad on the side of the road just before the road reached the temple complex. Without getting off his mount, Meallean pointed to small building with stables and said, “That is a porter house. You can catch a public carriage there. Do you know the name of the inn you will be staying at?”
“Gethbenial Inn,” I replied. It was Inn catering to elves. I had received special permission to stay there thanks to Harmin.
“Good,” he replied.
I slid off the side of the roc. Before I was even off the pad I heard the giant bird lift off behind me. I took the stairs down to the sidewalk running next to the main road. I had to walk southeast and cross over a footbridge to the other sides of both roads. The first temple I came to was the temple of Enches. Just the place I was seeking.
The temple was so large and had so many different architectural styles it looked more like huge city block than a single building. From the air I had seen there was an open air arena on the top. Balconies and windows of every shape and style covered the temple. There were huge roll-up doors, some sixty strides high, obviously sized for magi-mekas. As I got closer I realized the entire structure was clad in sheet metal. The main entrance way had the look and shape of stone columns, but was actually pressed metal. The front gates were swung wide. I could see most of the space was open. As soon as I passed the front gates I was hit with a cacophony of sound. The smell of fried food and roasted chicken wafted through the air.
The first floor was sixty strides high. All the exterior walls were visible from were I was standing. Columns of various proportions were arranged at random intervals. Near the center of the building there was a hole in the ceiling forty strides across. I see could see multiple floors above through the hole, which was cutting a cross section through the higher levels. A stream of smoke was rising up through the hole. I followed the smoke down to an open bonfire surrounded by a large group of people in a drum circle. This was where most of the noise was coming from.
I looked around the chamber. I saw magi-mekas being worked on. There were several Magical rituals going on. Every once in a while I would see the flash of Spell going off. In one corner I saw a group of dwarves working a forge that was built into a horse drawn cart. I counted three food stands, and five bars. There several merchant's selling everything from mundane clothing to Magical weapons.
I don't know how long I stood there taking it all in, but I finally noticed someone waving me over. He was barefoot, with long brown hair. He wore a fine silk robe that was deep blue and trimmed with neon orange piping. He was sitting on a stool, with a sleeping wolf at his feet. The man was surrounded by a group of stones. I walked over and just as suddenly as the noise had appeared, it disappeared again when passed into the stone circle.
I had spent too much time in the bathroom this morning, and I missed Aern'Lenninisal before he left, so I had to use Low Common. I said, “I need Boon and Soulburn.”
He responded, “You want [Tongues]. One Silver.”
I nodded. The Caravan Master had already collected from me the freight I had been carrying. I used my three free [Inventory] spaces for gold coins, silver coins, and copper coins. It may seem wasteful, but it stops pickpockets cold. A silver coin appeared in my hand and I gave it to the man.
He cast his spell on me and asked, “Can you understand' me now, man?”
“Thanks. I need to get a Boon Soulburned. Can you do that for me?”
“Nah, man. I can help you, man. You want Uruk...or Maybe Terry.”
He cast some more Magic, and looked around like he was confused.
“I don't think Terry's here, man. Let me try Uruk.”
This time the man smiled and said, “Yeah, man, Uruk is here. Definitely here.”
I stared at him for a moment. There was a pungent smell coming off of him. I had my suspicions what it was. He just smiled even bigger and nodded his head even more vigorously.
“Can you call Uruk over here,” I asked.
“Nah, man. He won't come over here.”
He nodded again.
I waited some more. “Can you tell me where he is.”
He got a distressed look on face, like he was caught with his hand in a cookie jar. “Oh, shit, man! I'm like, sorry man. Everybody knows Uruk. I thought you new him too because you were askin' about him.”
I waited some more. “Will you tell me where he is?”
“Oh,damn. Yeah. Uruk is over there man. It's one of them magi-mekas. One uh the big ones on that side of the room. Over there, man.”
I looked over at where he pointed. I saw three magi-mekas it might be.
I decided to double check. “And Uruk can Soulburn a Boon for me?”
“Nah, man. He can get you on the elevator to go up'n see the priestesses.”
I decided I would try and see if I could not have to talk to somebody like this again. “Can you get me on the elevator?”
“Nah. Man. I don't work here. I jus' practicin' my magic. Wanna buy a sound barrier? Eight silvers.”
“No, thank you,” I replied.
I headed in the direction if the magi-mekas. There where no aisles or pathways. It was like everybody just showed up and set up were they wanted to. I wove through crowd. Some of the food smelled wonderful. As I neared the drum circle I started put the rhythm into my gait. I was bobbing my head as passed them. There was quite collection of people dancing. It looked fun. I might have to come back.
I got to the first magi-meka and called out, “Uruk?”
A gray haired women stuck her head out the cockpit of the human shaped magi-meka. Without a word she looked at me and then pointed to next magi-meka over. It was about thirty strides away. I walked over to it. There was dwarf on his knees drawing lines one the ground with a light green chalk.
“Are you Uruk,” I asked.
He looked up and said, “Just a sec.”
He finished drawing a line and then stood up. It didn't make much of difference in height but he certainly was more imposing.
“Watta ya want,” he asked.
“I was told you could get me on the elevator to see the priestesses?”
“Yeah. Come on.”
He started walking toward a metal cage located against the wall.
As we walked, I asked, “Why don't you have an attendant at the front gate?”
I gave me a dirty look and ask, “You want me to sit around all day and do nothin'. Just waitin' for people to see if they need me? That's a stupid idea! Why would I waste time like that?”
“So people could find you easier,” offered.
“You found me just fine,” he said.
“But I had to ask someone who doesn't work here,” I complained.
“Worked didn't it?”
He lifted the bar on the cage and pointed for me to enter. I walked in and asked, “But what if they can't find you.”
He lowered the bar and said, “Then they can just use a ladder.”
I looked around the room quickly. In several places I could see people climbing up ladders. Two people met on one of the ladders. One going up and one going down. They were shaking fists at each other in anger.
Uruk said, “Keep your hands and feet inside the cage.”
Then he walked over to a large lever on a column next to the cage.
I asked, “If you have an elevator, why do you have ladders?”
He got a wicked grin on his face. “'Cuz not everybody likes the ride.”
He grabbed the lever, and shouted, “BOOOOOMMMBBBSSSSS...”
He drug it out for a few seconds and the pulled the lever. When he did, most of the people in the giant room in front of me responded with, “AWAY!”
I started moving quickly, and then I moved more quickly! A giant rock tied to a cable passed by me. I started moving faster and faster. When I got to the top there was a loud bang and the elevator stopped, but I kept going! I looked up and slammed into a soft mattress tied to the ceiling, before falling back and landing on the elevator.
As I lay on the floor. I heard a few people laugh. I had to chuckle too. It was funny. But I knew Celestium was right. I couldn't follow a god of [Chaos].
I got up and walked off the elevator. Looking around a saw several people sitting at tables having drinks. This room was one big bar. Unlike the ones below it wasn't rowdy. There was a sound barrier here too. I couldn't hear the drum circle. The room wasn't as big as the one below. It was down right cozy.
Quite a few people were staring out the windows. I walked over and looked. I could see the castle, the moat, and the other temples. It was quite an impressive view.
Someone walked up beside me. I heard a young woman say, “You're here for the Soulburn.”
I tried to answer, but she said, “Let's go.”
I turned and started following her as she walked away. She was in the same dark blue and neon orange colors as the man who cast [Tongues] on me was wearing. She led me to a room near the center of the building. She held the door open for me as we went in. There were two chairs facing each other.
As I walked by her, I started to ask a question, but she said, “No I don't care which chair you sit in.”
It was the answer to my question.
“Because it's a Familiar Ability, [Precognition],” she said.
That was the answer to my next question.
“It's not always right. Are you here for a [Chaotic Evil] Soulburn,” she asked.
I said, “Yes,” as I sat down.
“Good, that's my specialty” she said. But her tone indicated something a little more sinister. “That will be one gold, please.”
I pulled a gold from [Inventory] and handed to her. It disappeared immediately.
She sat down across from me and asked, “What Boon do you want.”
“The [Acquire Class Abilities] Boon for Royal Parasite,” I answered.
“You are [Lawful Good], aren't you,” There was a hint of excitement in voice.
“Yes,” I answered.
She shivered.
I got goosebumps.
“What Abilities to you want,” she asked.
I told her.
She asked, “How much [Evil] and [Chaos] Karma do you want to Soulburn into your Amplitudes?”
“One each,” I said.
She pouted in disappointment and took my hands. A blue box popped up.
You have selected to Soulburn the Boon, [Acquire Class Abilities]. You have selected the following Abilities from the Royal Parasite Class:
Parasitic Penetrator
Carnal Cultivation
Carnal Inventory
Parasitic Regeneration
Parasitic Paralyzer
Expel Carnal
Carnal Inoculation
Destroy Carnal Spores
Parasitic Mind Suppression
Psychic Infectious Form
You have chosen to Soulburn 1,000 [Evil Karma] and 1,000 [Chaos Karma] and Assign 100 [Evil Karma] and 100 [Chaos Karma] so as to add to your Amplitudes 1 [Evil] and 1 [Chaos].
As a Requirement of this Boon you may not take any selected Tier 2 Ability before reaching Tier 2 Status at Status Level 10.
You must achieve the Condition of being simultaneously infected by one of each of the nine types of Legendary Carnals. Until this Condition has been met the Abilities selected with this Boon will not be available for purchase with Ability Points.
As a Condition of this Boon you may only select this Boon once.
Is this correct?
As I was reviewing the information, the young woman said, “I want you know. I like to watch.”
I stopped and looked at her. She smiled an nodded with wicked glint in her eye. Enches wasn't [Evil] but she seemed to tolerate it in her followers.
I went back to reviewing the Soulburn notice. It was as I expected. I need to get infected with Carnals. That would not be pleasant. This Boon had some Conditions. It was possible to work around Boon Requirements, but not a Boon Condition. I could only take this Boon once, but I knew that going into this.
I selected yes.
The Soulburn rushed into me. I could feel the beating heart across from me. I wanted to get at it. I wanted to hold in my hand. Even if had to crawl inside her to get it. I tried to move my hands. Tried to get closer.
“No, no, no. You're not going be a bad boy today,” The woman said. Her strength was much greater than mine. I struggled to get away, but her grip was like iron. Feed. Consume. Hunt. Eat. My consciousness shrunk. I kept squirming to get at the beating. I needed...I need...
The Soulburn pulled back, and my mind was mine again. And it was on fire. I screamed as every part of me was in pain. My body was burning. There was no flame, but like my mind, it felt like I was in a fire. Every joint, every muscle, even the inside of my sinus cavities were stinging.
I looked around. Trying figure it out. I started to see red. I fell forward out my chair. The women deftly dodged out the way. I grabbed her chair to hold myself up. My stomach cramped. I wanted to vomit, but I held it down. Something warm dripped on my hand. It was blood. I though it might be nose. It wasn't. I was bleeding from eyes!
What did she do to me. I looked at my HUD to see my Status. All my bars were dropping. I saw a debuff. I pushed into it with my mind. A blue box appeared.
Karmic Backlash
200 seconds of suffering for Soulburning a diametrically opposed Alignment
It wasn't her. I did this to myself. I checked my pools. Stamina, Mana, and Chi were already at half value. My Health was ticking down, but it was a bigger pool. I activated [Recharge Mana], and then cycled through [Recharge Chi] and [Recharge Stamina].
The woman commented on the light show my Spellcasting was making, “That's beautiful.” I hoped it was the Magical effects she was talking about.
Casting was like trying to run through water, but I was doing it. I got Mana, Chi, and Stamina back up almost full. But my health kept ticking down. The pain didn't go away, but casting made me feel like I was slightly in control of the pain. I held on to the chair. My muscles burned with strain as I tried to distract myself. I screamed. I stopped screaming and held my breath. I screamed some more. I rolled off of the chair onto the floor and tried to squirm around to shift the pain. It didn't work as well as straining my muscles. I grab the chair and held on as hard as I could. I tensed every muscle I could. Even with [Recharge Stamina] my Stamina kept falling. It was nearing the bottom and had to give up. I let go of the chair. I screamed but my voice was hoarse and even that hurt. My health dropped below 50%.
“Dying. I'm dying,” I wheezed.
“You'll live. Unfortunately, it's almost over.”
“How much-,” I croaked.
And then it stopped. The pain was gone. I closed my eyes, rolled over on my back, and groaned.
She said, “Thank you. I really like it when you stay awake until the end.”
I heard a cabinet open. She walked over dropped something on my face, and said, “Clean that up. Yes, the bar outside has Healing potions.”
I picked up the cloth she had dropped on me. It was a towel.
“This is so unfair,” I whined.