“Hi Effi. I hear we might be working together now.” Frank crosses his left leg over his right knee and leans back in my co-worker’s chair next to me.
When I glance around, it looks like almost everyone is at lunch. I don’t know where Kendra went but she’s not at her desk. Which is good. I’m not sure how I would even begin to explain Barbeque Frank.
“Don’t worry, no one is around.” Frank smirks as though he knows he read my mind.
“Um, should we be talking about this here? Now?” I pull the pen from behind my ear and set it down on my desk. I can’t help but roll it back and forth under my fingers. I’m trying not to look nervous but I’m just not that good at hiding my emotions yet. I’m guessing this new job position is going to require me to mask my feelings a little more.
“Ah it’s fine.” Frank waves his hand in the air as though this is no big deal. “Viv wanted me to assist you in your new position.”
“Assist me? Why? How?” Why in the world would Viv want Frank to assist me? I know that Frank and her go way back but I obviously have missed something along the way.
Frank looks around the room as Kendra comes out of the bathroom. She smiles in our direction and then raises her eyebrows at me as she nods at Frank. I know she wants to know what’s going on, but I don’t even know just yet. I shrug at her, and she turns to go to the breakroom.
Frank sees my shrug, uncrosses his leg, and leans toward me to whisper a warning. “You’re going to want to be very careful how much you confide and in whom. I wouldn’t tell anyone anything if I were you.”
“Oh,” I whisper back, “I’m not telling anyone anything. I know what’s at risk. Believe me. But I’m still friends with her and I would really like it to stay that way.”
Frank leans back in his chair and crosses his arms across his chest. “What does she know?”
I roll my eyes and then realize that I did that in real life and not just in my mind. “I told her exactly what Viv said to say. My new job is a Talent Acquisition Specialist and sometimes I will have to leave to go to meetings with prospective authors. Why such an interest?” I’m getting frustrated with his intrusive, bossy nature.
“Because, at one time, I was the Talent Acquisition Specialist, if you know what I mean. I’m just too old for it now.”
“Uh, you mean I’m not the first?”
Frank laughs and leans forward again. His breath is that old man, rotten tooth in there somewhere stink as he whispers again, “Nope. How do you think Viv got as popular as she did with this little publishing company. Somebody had to take out the competition.”
“No, no way. Who did you take out? What competition?” As morbid as this is, I’m very curious.
“It’s not a secret if I tell you, now is it?” I shake my head as he continues, “And it’s not a secret if you tell anyone either. Catch my drift?”
I sigh as I look across the room at Kendra. “Yeah, I get it.”
Frank leans forward and taps me on the shoulder as he stands up. “Look at it this way, you’re protecting her. If she doesn’t know anything, then no one can come for her. You’ll get it, kiddo.” And with that, Frank walked away and headed back to his desk on the far wall.
I hate that he’s right. The less she knows, the better off she is and if she can claim innocence, then I don’t have to worry about ruining her life too. It’s weird to think of Barbeque Frank as a hitman. Technically that’s what we are: hitmen. Although I’m a hitwoman? Hitperson? I’m lost in the technicality that I don’t see Kendra come back over to her desk.
She leans on the wall between our cubicles. “What did Frank want? I’ve never seen him talk to you before.”
I shake my head in disbelief. “That’s because he never has talked to me before. I mean, he did the other day when I was here late but that was it. I guess he used to be the Talent Acquisition Specialist.”
Kendra’s eyes grow wide as she looks over her shoulder at Frank. When she looks back again at me, she says, “Frank? Barbeque Frank? No way. I can’t see him doing the final interview with anyone. He’s as dry as a dead old tree. Nobody would want to be affiliated with this publishing house if he was the one doing the interviews!”
I just shrug my shoulders again and say, “Maybe that’s why he’s not doing that job anymore?”
Kendra shrugs her shoulders back at me before sinking below the wall between us. I know that she’s trying to get an edit finished before we leave in the morning.
The morning! I pop up and look at her over the wall. “What time are we leaving tomorrow and where are we meeting?”
Kendra sets down her coffee mug. After she swallows a full mouthful of coffee, she says, “Oh yeah! Tomorrow at 8am. Since I’m driving, you want me to just pick you up at your house? You’re not that far from here. What? Like five miles or so?”
“Yeah, it’s about that. Are you sure? I don’t want you to add even more miles onto your car.”
Unauthorized tale usage: if you spot this story on Amazon, report the violation.
Kendra laughs and says, “Oh, Viv is paying me mileage. Don’t you worry about that. You think I would just let her make me use my car without charging her mileage? This isn’t my first rodeo with her. The price of rental vehicles has just gone up quite a bit so she compromised and said that we could stay at a nicer place if I used my car but we couldn’t do both. And I didn’t want to stay at a Super 8 for however long it takes us.”
“Oh! I thought when you said she vetoed it that it meant that she just plain ol’ vetoed a rental car. I didn’t know there was this whole compromise thing going on. Never mind. I’ll just let you drive this whole thing. I’ll be the co-pilot.” I giggle and decide that I’m going to go get some coffee too.
I grab my new company mug and walk over to the breakroom. We don’t have a fancy coffeemaker down here like Viv has but it does fine. I really don’t know as if I could tell a difference between her fancy one and this one anyway. It’s just coffee. Although I can tell when it’s burnt. That’s about it. I don’t have very refined taste buds, I guess.
As I’m pouring my cup of coffee, Frank psst psst’s at me from his desk. This is so weird. I’m not so sure I even want Frank to help me do anything. Unless he’s like James Bond and has a secret lair full of weapons. I don’t think this pen is going to go very far when it comes to Viv’s “meetings.”
When I look up at him, he motions for me to come over. Thankfully this farce of a made-up position seems to be working out. I guess the best lie is the one done out in the open. I finish topping off my coffee cup and see some French vanilla creamer sitting out. That’s new. Or maybe it’s not and it’s supposed to be in the fridge. At any rate, I decide to put some in my coffee to try it even though I usually drink my coffee black.
I take a sip and then place the creamer back in the fridge. It tastes good but it’s not as easy as drinking it black. I take a deep breath and blow it all out on my way over to Frank’s desk. What could he want now?
“Yes?” I’m trying not to sound irritated, but I really don’t want to work with Frank. I’ve been here for years, and he has never once acknowledged me. I bet Viv put him up to this. She probably thinks I’m too stupid to do this on my own. I mean, I really don’t know what I’m doing. I didn’t even figure out that the downstairs had a separate breaker box for goodness’ sake.
“We should meet and go over tips and tricks.”
“Really?” I didn’t mean to say that but it just kind of fell out of my mouth.
Frank rolls his eyes at me. “Yes, really. You have no experience with this new position, correct?”
I lean against the side of his cubicle wall. “Yeah, I don’t have any experience. But what is there that you can teach me? Things have changed a lot since you were doing this. Not to be mean, but you’re kind of…dated.”
“Ugh! You kids these days! Human nature is still human nature regardless of technology. Except now, with all the technology in people’s hands and faces, a lot of people aren’t paying attention. Like I said, we need to meet so I can teach you a thing, or three. What about tomorrow?”
“Can’t. I’m leaving in the morning to go hunting with Kendra in Connecticut.”
“Oh, well that will actually be good for you. Hunting is an important part of your new job.”
He makes it sound like I’m a hunter and it’s hunting season. The thought of that makes me cringe. “I’ll be back after we find this guy. We can meet then?”
Frank nods his head and says, “Yeah, that’s going to have to be fine. Maybe take notes on how the hunt is done to find the author. It will come in handy.”
I just nod my head while internally saying ew. I really don’t want Frank to teach me anything. He’s so old and cringey. I feel like I don’t have a say in it though. I quickly walk over to my desk, hoping that he doesn’t psst psst at me again. I just want to go back to researching Niantic, Connecticut.
And at some point, I’m going to have to research how to get a global bank account. I think I’ll have to do that when I’m at home. That’s definitely not something I want to explain to Kendra. Yeah, by the way, I just need a Swiss bank account for when I have to become a fugitive. No big really.
I sit down at my desk and spend the rest of the afternoon looking up different things to do. There’s a little book shop, a couple of antique places, and it looks like there’s a lot of seafood. I guess that makes sense, it is on the Atlantic Ocean. Hmm, that would be fun to take a dip in the ocean. I’ve never been to an ocean. Actually, I’ve never been outside of Michigan. Oh wait, there was the one time I visited a zoo in Canada, does that count?
When I look up the weather for Niantic, it seems a little cooler than Michigan. Okay, maybe I won’t be taking a dip I the ocean. I start making a list of all the things that I’ll need to pack. By the time I get home, I’m barely going to have time to pack what I need, and hopefully it’s all clean. There’s no time to wash any of it in the washer. Plus, I have to pack all of Squeaker’s things. I’m going to have to dig out her car seat! I think that’s in the basement. Good thing she likes to go for rides in the car. How long is this ride anyway?
A couple of keystrokes later and I see that from Kalamazoo, Michigan to Niantic, Connecticut is 820 miles. Or, as we Michiganders say, it’s almost thirteen hours. I never understood why that concept is a northern midwestern thing. Why wouldn’t you want to know how long it’s going to take you to get somewhere? Although I have heard that we are much more rushed up here compared to down south, so maybe that’s why we do it.
I glance at my clock and see that it’s almost 5pm. I start cleaning up, take my mug to the breakroom and clean it out. Even though I feel like I can get a new one whenever I want now that I’m Viv’s personal hitman, I still feel like I should put this one on a shelf in my cubby. I towel dry it and place it in a safe place in my cubicle, turn off my computer and grab my bag.
Kendra has the same thought as I do and is walking away from her desk at the same time I am. “Okay, I’m picking you up tomorrow morning at 8am. And we’re taking Squeaker?”
“Yes, I’ll have a car seat for her to put in the back seat. Oh. Is there going to be enough room?” The thought of trying to put Squeaker in the back of her compact car plus all our luggage seems like it’s going to be too full.
“Umm, maybe? Could she stay with a friend? It might be hard on her.”
I know that Squeaker could handle it. It’s just a matter of squeezing her into the car for thirteen hours. I could call Jacy, but I think he’s doing an art tour. “I’ll pack less. I know that she’ll be fine, honestly. I’ll just make the most of my packing. OR, okay, here’s a crazy idea. What if I drove?”
Kendra looks at me for a moment and I can see her pondering the idea. “Do you think your car will make it? That’s a long trip.”
“Are you saying that I drive a heap of junk?” I say smiling at her and then whack her on the arm.
Kendra starts laughing and says, “Yeah that’s exactly what I’m saying! Fine! We’ll take your heap, now that mine is all cleaned out. Ugh! I’ll still meet you at your house at 8am.”
“You should clean yours out more often anyway!” I wave at her as we part ways to go to our cars. And then the thought occurs to me, I’m going to have to clean out my car before tomorrow morning.