Sapphire, I realized, was letting them talk. "Is this what most cops are like?" I asked silently via the link.

"No. These two are just idiots with important parents." Sapphire assured me, her face neutral. I would have hated to play poker against her.

Ragdoll looked around, taking in the expensive surroundings. "How does a human like you afford all this anyway? What exactly do you do for a living?"

The elevator dinged and out came an older gray katzen with a long blue wool coat and an almost archaic looking analog pistol on his hip. His hair was going white around his mouth and chin giving the impression of a beard. His charcoal slacks were tailored and wrinkle free. This would be the detective in charge.

He presented his credentials. His badge was polished and the goldish metal gleamed. "I am detective inspector Baron Chowder. Would anyone care to fill me in on what happened?"

"I am Sapphire Snugglewump of Snugglewump and Small and this is Eden Braverhund-King. The two hunds providing security are Hanz Rook and Charles Sparkly." Sapphire introduced herself and gave him a quick rundown of the parties involved, being polite but not sharing any information that wasn't readily available or saying who had done what.

"The security guard who was injured earlier was transported to Porto General and is in surgery, his name is Peanutbutter Brown. The deceased guard is Krieger Lowe and he is outside in the patio utility shed."

DI Chowder gestured to the dead and charred body outside my office. "Who might they be?"

"They are one of two intruders, both deceased. The other one is on the patio. For everyone's safety you may wish to call the bomb squad prior to examining the bodies. Explosives were detected." Sapphire cautioned.

Marmalade and Ragdoll both looked around wildly at the mention of explosives. "You didn't mention anything about explosives!" Officer Ragdoll said accusingly.

The detective sniffed the air, taking in the smell of freshly burnt gunpowder but saying nothing about it. He pulled out his radio and called for an EOD team and forensics. "So, Eden. While we're waiting for the bomb squad to make sure everything is safe, would you please tell me what happened?"

Sapphire pulled out a silver thumb drive with no particular ornamentation. It was small with a hole on one end where it could be attached to a key ring. "I have a written statement prepared. If you have additional questions let me know. I will of course want my property back once the files are transferred."

There was a moment of icy tension. "I prefer to hear things from the witnesses in their own words." DI Chowder said, not taking the drive. "Perhaps we should continue this down at the station."

"I'm sure you would prefer that." Sapphire replied, closing her hand around the drive. "Tell me, are you charging anyone here with a crime?"

"Not yet." DI Chowder said. "But I did just get here."

"Well then, it has been quite a night and I'm sure you have much to do. Are Eden Braverhund-King, Hans Rook, and Charles Sparkly free to go?" Sapphire asked.

"They will be free to go after they answer my questions." DI Chowder said, realizing where this was going.

"I have offered a prepared statement. They are under no obligation to answer your questions or speak with you, this is a courtesy to speed things along. So, since none of them are being charged with a crime I will repeat my question. Are they free to go?"

This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.

"They need to stay for fingerprinting and DNA sampling for forensics." The detective replied.

"They are not obligated to provide those, unless you brought a warrant. Did you bring a warrant?" Sapphire asked.

"It will severely hamper the investigation if we don't have prints and DNA to compare." The detective countered. "You wouldn't want any unnecessary delay or confusion, would you?"

"The DNA and fingerprints of all three are already on file with Porto PD. If they decide it is relevant the police department will provide them to you." Sapphire said calmly. "Now, if you are done wasting everyone's time it is late and I would like to wrap this up."

The detective silently fumed. He couldn't hold us and we had offered a statement. "I need their clothes and weapons."

"You may have Eden's pajamas as they are ruined, but her security needs their weapons and gear to protect both her and themselves. If they were disarmed and something happened… well." Sapphire let that hang in the air.

"You aren't being very cooperative." The detective grumbled.

"We have offered a statement, which you have not taken or reviewed. We have offered to let you take the clothes Eden was wearing, even though we are not obligated to do so." She paused. "We also have not brought up the attempted murder of her security guard Mr. Rook by the officers who responded."

"He had something in his hands that looked like a gun and wasn't responding to our commands." Marmalade lied. "We acted according to department policy."

I looked over at the officers. Ragdoll was missing. "Where's the other one?" I asked via link as the faint sound of Brahms lullaby started playing from my office. "Oh, he's trying to get into the safe. Everyone likes to try and spin the dial."

"Which is strange because I locked the door to get to it." Sapphire's eyes narrowed. She looked at the detective. "Detective Chowder, I would like to report a crime."

"Oh? This is going to be interesting. Who and what?" DI Chowder asked.

"Possible grand theft and you can guess who." She tilted her head towards Ragdoll who was returning to his spot on the couch.

"Sorry, I had to take a leak." He lied.

"Did you at least flush?" Sapphire asked the officer as the faint classical music played in the background.

"Yes. And I washed my hands afterward too." He added.

"That must have been hard." Sapphire observed. "Seeing as the door to the bathroom was locked and your hands are dry."

"Oh." Ragdoll looked at the detective for guidance. He was caught and he knew it.

The detective gave Ragdoll a look like he had just taken a shit on his shoes. "Ragdoll, go back and 'wash your hands', there's no knowing what dirt you might have picked up."

"Right!" Ragdoll said. He left for a minute then came back.

Sapphire looked over to DI Chowder. "You can't say I didn't give him a chance. I would like to make a formal complaint against officer Richard Rubio for grand theft. I would also like to make a complaint against officers Richard Rubio and Mark Mejia for the attempted murder of Hans Rook."

"These are serious allegations. Do you have any proof?" DI Chowder asked.

"Yes. There was a custom pen worth two thousand WAC or more on the desk in the office. It was black with a red stripe and the initials EBC on the cap. I see that same pen sticking out of officer Rubio's top left pocket." Sapphire said.

Ragdoll looked down at the pen sticking out of his pocket. "Oh shit."

"Now, as for the attempted murder. Both officers fired their weapons at an unarmed hund who had his back turned to them. They claim that he did not obey their instructions, however no instructions were given. If the glass wasn't ballistic rated they would no doubt have killed him. I have recordings of both the incident and their lies after the fact. Also, you will find that they violated department policy by not immediately reporting the incident."

The two officers shared a look then turned to the detective.

"What do you want?" DI Chowder asked.

"This isn't a shakedown or extortion." Sapphire said. "I'm making a formal complaint in front of witnesses on camera. Do your fucking job."

Marmalade looked down at his gun on the table. Ragdoll did the same.

"Leave it." DI Chowder said as Ragdoll began leaning forward to reclaim his pistol. The katzen paused, then continued forward.

"Leave it, or I'll turn your head into a canoe." DI Chowder said, his hand on the pistol at his hip.