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Ebony Chitin - Eclipse
Chapter 81: Something Like Guilt

Chapter 81: Something Like Guilt

Oswald Manfred (Two weeks after arriving)

Charles knew me too well. The days blurred together, while I spent my time with Eugene. Together we continued making progress towards the tonic that was needed. I had gotten so used to Richard acting as my helper, that it just felt better working with another. The more I worked with Eugene, the more friction there was however. He would question why I did things this way or that way. He'd slow me down on some occasions so that he could grasp the principle of the material.

Eugene was rigid with his work. He wanted to understand the properties of what we were working on, why they needed to be mixed a certain way. Richard asked questions, but not to this degree. He also never used his magic to slow down the process, or even fight me for how the mixtures should dilute.

Despite that, I still found myself trying to talk to the youth. My heart still hurt for what I put my lad through. Those genuine tears he shed on my behalf, throwing away everything I could give him, just begging me to stay a little longer. The doubt crept in as it always did. He had my book now, and if he read it, he might reject me. I told myself I was ready for him to hate me, to cast me out from being his brother. Still the thought hurt me deeper than any other. I knew he was suffering, the king made sure I was aware before I left. That it would take him another month to move past the pain I inflicted upon him.

I am still a coward, even now. I convinced myself that Eugene was someone worth working with. That after we made the formula, he would be impressed enough to want to see more. I was trying to ensnare him, to give me someone to be around. I was already preparing for Richard's rejection, to use this youth as a way to not truly be alone again. I knew if the time came where I saw the lad once more, that if he chose to hurt me, I would leave without uttering a word. I would come to Eugene, a broken shell of myself, and use the bonds we had as family.

I was already preparing for the worst, because I knew I couldn't forgive myself if Richard had used me, as I used him. By all rights, I didn't deserve to lament my own suffering. I understood that I shouldn't try to use Eugene as a way to protect myself from complete despair. Still, to my very core, I am a coward. I shook the thoughts away, letting out a slow breath.

Eugene looked over, "Are you okay? Do you need a break? I don't think I've seen you sleep once since I got here."

I set down the beaker, "I'm fine. I sleep when you sleep, but how I sleep is a bit different. It's kind of like dozing off, never truly falling asleep. I'll die otherwise."

"I see, it has to do with using your magic to preserve your body?"

"Yes, and it is that same magic that gives me perfect memory on what I need to remember. It's how I know the stories I told you are accurate, and why I don't even bother to remember your father's name. I know I can get away with just calling him brother."

Eugene tilted his head back, "I see, you know... I've been thinking about those stories you told me. How you were a part of the Black March, and how they worked. I know you're keeping the important parts secret, but was ritual magic really that powerful back then?"

I nodded slowly, "Ritual magic was regarded as the first true magic back in those days. Though it was pretty much exclusive to Dark Fall, given that it was typically used by people that wanted to curse others. Which meant they were sent to Dark Fall, because they got caught. To make it even worse, after everything that happened, covens of hags were sent out to die. Every monster that knew rituals from generations, were in the city. They were the first ones sent out as the hordes. They were the first ones to die, setting so many rituals back. The library might still be there, but it's just as likely the monster king burned it to the ground." That or Charles when he was leaving the city.

"You're saying there was a time where monsters roamed about a city?" He raised a brow.

I slowly shook my head, "Dark Fell was different back then. The monsters were different back then. Even you should see from the mimics that their goal isn't outright destruction." I noticed the youth balled his fists, as I continued. "They talked, they had cultures, different views, ideas! The city was run by them as much as the dark elves, if not more by the monsters. The dark elves never had the population to run their kingdom. The monster culture was suited for their environment though, and the light actually scared them."

Eugene let out a slow breath, "What do you mean the light scared them?"

Dark Fell, that entire kingdom shrouded under those dark clouds. The light burned most of the monsters, their skin and fur not used to it. Generations have passed and they can deal with it now, but back then they didn't want to leave because it was harder for them to see. Many of them believed that the Mad God was the one that created the darkness, to shield them from the light. It wasn't a perfect place, you'll never find one, but it began to feel like home after decades."

Eugene set his tools down, "Why are you telling me all of this? I doubt that this is some kind of cruel joke. So, why Oswald?"

He looked at me, while I kept swirling my mixture. "The elves are willing to let shorter lived races forget. A good number of them know, or remember some of the rumors. Though they were always too far away. Humans live such short lives, and you never know if they'll pass something down for generations or not. Even the dwarves have forgotten, because it is a stain upon us. I'm telling you, because I didn't have the strength to tell the person I wanted to tell. I'm hoping that you might be able to use what I tell you, to make decisions based on it."

Eugene swallowed hard, "Who did you want to tell?"

I lowered my head, "My apprentice, and the first person I truly saw as family. He'll probably read what I wrote, but I left out so much. You don't think to write about the mineral salts and how to find them. It's such a part of our culture and tradition that it's as natural as breathing. You don't think to write about how the guards were arranged, or why. They're just there, and it's as much a part your life as anything else. It's all basic, and you don't really consider how much different things are outside your life."

"What did you want me to tell your apprentice? You rarely speak of him, is he even still alive? What if I told others? How many people in Eclipse know what you're telling me? How many people in this world?"

I just shrugged, "If you told others, they wouldn't believe you. I'd even go out of my way to say it was all a joke, a lie. No one needs to know that the monster king was a human that was sent to Dark Fall as an assassin. No one needs to know that the elves are trying to get different monster races in an attempt to breed with them and make new tribes. Just like no one needs to know there are mimics infesting these tunnels. Fighting each other will doom us all, and the culture of the monsters are set so far back. I'm not even sure if the monster races can recover, or what might happen if their king is finally killed."

Eugene frowned, "You're rambling, like an old fool. You're talking in circles, and contradicting yourself. You want us to fight back against the monsters, but you also go on about how they used to be more. You're telling me that no one needs to know the tragedy of it all, while also laying out how we got into this situation. What is it that you want Oswald? What are your goals?"

I tilted my head back, thinking. "My goals aren't important, since my time is almost up. What is important, is telling someone that will hold power one day. To inform that individual, as to how and why everything happened. To veil it all, in the hopes that he will tell my brother when he comes here. To aid him, and unite against the real threat. I won't be around to make the decisions, and my goals will change depending on the situation. I'm too old to believe in an ideal happening, but I am too foolish to let go of hope."

Eugene picked up his tools and started his work again. "Without ideals, people are nothing more than beasts. I can't accept your words, your thoughts. Though I do somewhat see where you are coming from. I'm just an arrogant son, the child of the chief. Sheltered, and spoiled. That's how others see me, and so I keep to myself. I went out with one of my only friends, and got captured. Now, I have a monster inside me, but I am still myself."

I finished my mixture, walking towards a mimic. I poured it on the thing, watching as it seeped through the shell. The mimic lashed out for a second, before curling in on itself. I grinned, "Monsters, beasts, and people. You strip away the ideals, and at the core we are all creatures that just want to survive. Our cultures, our ideas, are what make us different. There is nothing else that matters, because we all die with time. Though perhaps, true death comes when something is forgotten. I'll spend another week here, teaching you how to make this. Then I will leave, and search for the new monster. The one you said, had saved you."

Stolen from its rightful author, this tale is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

Eugene nodded, "I still don't trust it, but father has a few of them locked away. If you're saying that these mimics are untainted by the monster king. Then perhaps the new monster is as well. What will you do? It's going out of its way to give people their bodies back. I don't trust it, but I am thankful towards it..."

I shook my head, "We'll figure it out when the time comes. What's important is keeping the mimic closest to this city, on our side. We need it to fight the others. I'll either try to use the one that saved you, or kill it and move through the tunnels to another city. I'm too much of a threat to any of the mimics. Which means I need to pop up in another city, to potentially have the others target it. We need decisive blows against our enemy, and this mixture is one."

Eugene looked at the mimic I poured it on, the thing essentially asleep. "You know... I never would have thought about mixing things while they were volatile. Just one slip up, and it explodes in your face."

I nodded, "We can create new elements by keeping such things in check. It's like how salt is made out of toxic compounds, but turns stable when combined. The problem is that if anyone but an alchemist tries to make this stuff, well it just won't work. The mixture will explode, which is why I need to spend my time teaching you."

Eugene nodded, "I'll do my best, but is it stable now?"

"Yes, it will make your skin tingle if it gets on you. Ingesting it will probably make you have a seizure, and getting it in your eyes will cause temporary blindness until it is washed away. Still, it's what we need, and it just puts the mimics to sleep. After it's made you can stop focusing on it, but you need to make sure every part of it is mixed properly. Anything left over, and you can still have it explode. A lot smaller than it would be, but probably enough to break the container or send out the liquid in question."

Eugene laughed a little, "Okay, you know... I think there is a metaphor here. Something about an old alchemist trapping himself in a dungeon to do his work in piece."

I rolled my eyes, "Lad, a Fukuma taking a shit on a noble's dinner plate is a metaphor. Anything can be a metaphor if you try hard enough, or force it. You're just making connections, when there doesn't need to be any. Now pay attention, I want to make certain you won't hurt yourself while making this."

*

One Week Later

*

It was time to leave. Eugene was capable enough to produce the mixture on his own now. It would be slow compared to the barrels I could mix together, but it was the best way to train his focus. Though even that might just be an excuse for how wretched I felt for trying to latch onto the boy. He was a good pupil, but he wasn't Richard. Trying to use him to replace the lad... it was unhealthy and it spat on the idea of who he was to me.

I had the supplies I needed, and my body was as well as it could be. I did not need food to sustain myself, so long as I didn't take any wounds. My muscles moved better as I spent my idle focus stretching them. Flexing them at all times, to strengthen them enough to walk without hobbling. My steps became more sure, and no one could see the changes occurring under my gas cloak.

Three long weeks since I came here, and longer still since I left the lad behind. Eugene started to doze on the bed, exhausted from producing a couple liters of the stuff. I idly mixed a sleeping gas, before gently guiding it to him. He jerked a little in his sleep as he felt it enter his lungs. I burned words onto the envelope I kept, the contents already destroyed. There wasn't much I could tell the young dwarf, since he needed the note as proof we were not colluding together.

I had told him that I planned on leaving, but he was under the assumption that he was to guide me. It was more important that he stayed here, working with his father to keep the peace. The fact that I said he was clean, meant that doppelgangers couldn't oust him as one of their own. After all, why would one of their own spend so long with a man that could kill him? The one working against them? Eugene was someone smart enough to notice how convoluted this all was. To use that towards his goals, which was protecting the people of this city, and killing the mimic queens.

I pulled out the key to my cell, unlocking it. My gas surrounding the keyhole, and the hinges to muffle the sound. My cane clung to my back, as I held it there. Black tendrils of gas moving and grabbing stray stones, and filtering them along my arms. I closed the cell door, locking it once more. I moved to the wall, using my gas to lift me up, so I could crawl along the ceiling. A black mass of gas, with emerald green eyes.

Creeping up the stairs, I reached the door. A simple thing with two guards standing outside. I let my gas spread out, the torches snuffed on my side. Judging by how relaxed the two were, they were complacent with their task. Still, in every culture there was superstition. More so, because our ghosts were real, and could linger. Most could be exorcised, while some might only come around on certain days. I grinned, adjusting the density of my gas to alter my words.

"Don't do it! I'm innocent!" The whispers trickled past the cracks in the door, making it seem as if the entire thing was whispering. "He was my son! I'd never hurt him like that! I swear!" The guards jumped at that, whispering to each other. "Guards! You need to believe me! Please!" They readied their weapons, as the invisible sleeping gas seeped closer to them. Clinging to the edges of their helmets, as I needed them to open the door for me. "I smell blood..." The voice became lower, angrier. "I'm hungry... the guards have forgotten me."

The two whispered back and forth, desperately trying to figure out what to do. "Two warm bodies to feast one, the guards won't rescue them, they didn't rescue me..." I could feel them with the invisible gas all around them. A slight breeze brushing over them, as some unknown moved towards the door. They made the right decision, one running to inform others of a ghost, and the other moving to open the door. My gas gripped the edges, flinging it open once it was unlocked. The sleeping gas claiming two more victims, as their bodies fell limp. I crawled out of the dungeon, into the hall that led to more stairs going up.

The guards were put on their chairs, despite the noise they made as they fell. The door closed and locked behind me, as I continued creeping along the ceiling. The sleeping gas moved ahead of me, moving like a small breeze that told me the shape of everything ahead of me. I moved at a slow, but steady pace, following the path I was taken through when I arrived. Every brick, a few inches closer to the outside.

I moved past the guards eating together, their eyes on their food, and comrades. I crept past those walking along the hallways, dropping rocks to keep their vision elsewhere. Not one dwarf saw me, believing in the null magic fields and runes that were designed to keep people inside. I felt my cane vibrate a few times, as the silver runes inside the spider kept my magic going despite said fields.

Finally, I made it outside the guard station, at the bottom of a pillar. I was thankful for dwarven infrastructure and how there were no open courtyards, or guards patrolling along tall walls. It was just another set of holes carved into a slightly larger pillar. People still moving about at night, but no one really watched the guards. I climbed a few levels higher, staying out of sight from the other pillars nearby. Finally I reached the spot I had decided was far enough away. I walked away, towards the center, to leave a note with the chief.

There was a chance the doppelgangers might use my escape as a chance to ensnare Eugene, but they shouldn't. Still, one note wasn't enough, and if they destroyed it then it was just word of mouth again. To say that Eugene let me escape was dumb, but then again idiots believed anything. My gas receded, my goggles moved behind my head as my cloak showed my face and hands. No one nearby knew what I looked like, and my robe appeared legitimate, despite being made of gas.

I stole a couple scraps of paper, simply stuck to the wall. I burned the edges, then reformed them with other scraps to make a larger piece. More words burned on the thing, as I continued my stride. I identified a familiar guard, waving him over. I gave him the paper, telling him that Oswald has escaped. That he left a note to be given to the chief. The man nodded, going about his task, while I moved to leave the city behind once more. To head into the tunnels that travelers, and wandering tribes used.

There was still much to do, and it was likely that doppelgangers might be sent after me. My notes made it clear that I was going towards the Wet Beards, to start working on that mimic. Though the queen here would still be wary, especially if I showed up anywhere near her main body. What mattered, was that I needed to reach this new monster race. The one I could trust, because Charles said as much.

They were important, and the sooner a connection was established the better. I needed to meet with them to form a proper plan. To take out the other mimics, and leave this one queen for last. It was a tall order, but the reasons weren't for me to question. This place would be safe for my lad, when he arrived. I would pry open the secrets hidden inside this kingdom, and the others. Everything will fall into place in time, but it all revolved around those first steps.

I took stock of every powder, liquid, and vial of gas I had with me. My satchel filled to the brim with everything I might need. The research materials weren't all for making the mixture after all. I needed the proper tools, and I knew better than to ask for certain components. I looked back at the city of the Beard Cutters, once I made it to an all too familiar tunnel. I could see the guards spreading out to search for me, they were slow, since it took them a couple hours to notice I escaped.

There was no alarm going off, since that would make them seem incompetent. The political game that laid ahead for Eugene, would be a challenging one, but they had to pull it off somehow. He and his father both needed to work together, to save their city. I felt a brief nagging feeling, realizing I left more people behind. That I used more people, to put myself in the position I needed to be. That I couldn't tell them everything, and this might be seen as a betrayal somehow.

I turned, walking down the tunnel I was dragged out of. The same tunnel where it all started, and began anew. Perhaps I was still hurting, because of what I did to the lad. Maybe, I was still raw, and sensitive to doing this sort of thing now. Perhaps, all the years I spent in my manor, all that time alone. Maybe, just maybe, it dulled my edge. The task ahead didn't require emotions, or feelings. I wasn't connected to the Black March, or any web that helped me deal with this.

I lowered my head, remembering when I could rely on others. Our Queen of Dark Fall, truly was an amazing woman. Yet, here I was with more regrets than a dwarf should ever carry. Grimly walking into the darkness, at the command of my king. Guided once more, by a few words left by my friend. If only I could have saved her, if only I could have helped him. If only I wasn't a coward deep down... if only...