Therese was standing outside a store. Her dad was waiting for her mom to pick her up. She grew restless, she started banging her back against a pillar, she hated waiting for mom. Therese was confused, she didn’t understand why she went back and forth between houses. She tried to behave but had outbursts, the world was difficult. Therese would yell and shout at the voices to be quiet. She was crying now, it felt like her skin was on fire. Therese tried to contain her responses, she knew outbursts led to hospitalization.
Therese wished she was in school with her para, the paras understood her. Her parents just asked for more medications and pawned her off from house to house. Therese looked in the coffee shop, there was a nice lady in there, maybe Therese could go get some water from her. Therese was thirsty, and her dad wasn’t paying attention to her needs. Therese tried to tell her dad she was thirsty, but only a grunt came out. Therese turned and walked to the door to the coffee shop. A cow on the door twisted its face and moo’d at her. The lady in the store, looked up, wondering if she was coming in. I know her, that is Erin, that was not a delusion.
Therese reached for the door, she knew somehow if she could go in there and drink coffee her whole life would be better. Her dad grabbed her arm, Therese screamed. “Stop it, coffee is too stimulating.” he grabbed her and pulled her back. Therese banged herself against the wall. She dropped her book.
An old man walked up with a cane, he stopped and picked up the book. “Peter Rabbit, that’s a good book.” he told Therese handing her the book. Her dad thanked him. “No thanks are necessary, it is nice to be useful.” He told her dad and walked into the coffee store.
Therese recognized him, he used to be a plumber who had taken her kite out of a tree, she went to follow him. “Stop.” her dad told her, you can’t just go in there, the doctor said coffee is bad for you, it is overstimulating. Therese cried, she knew she needed to be in there. The medications clouded her thinking.
“Oh great, you couldn’t even wash the dirt from her fingernails?” Therese’s mother asked, “Let me guess you left out digging in the backyard all day?” Therese’s mom demanded.
“It is a garden.” defended her father.
“More like a weed patch.” said Therese’s mother.
A boy from her class walked by. Therese knew his name was Peter, she was able to shout out his name, he turned and politely waved, and kept walking, speeding up his pace. “Stop it, you’re embarrassing me.” Her mother said.
“My friends are real, I didn’t imagine it.” Therese finally was able to say.
“There she goes about her friends again, you watch too much TV with her.” Therese’s mother scolded her father.
“You put the idea of friends in her head, not me.” Argued her father. “Ben, Benjamin, she makes the same person two different people, she can’t even keep it straight when she comes back from your house.”
“You are the one who let her think there are two Benjamins, there isn’t even one, you need to make sure she takes her medications!” Therese’s mother yelled.
“They are not the same person!” yelled Therese, but her parents continued arguing and ignored her.
The voices in her head got loud, they told Therese all kinds of terrible things about herself. They told Therese how much everyone hated her. They told her she broke her mother's back because she stepped on cracks. Therese saw everyone staring at her from in the coffee shop.
Therese turned and ran, away from them, but it was into the road. A car hit her, she flew backwards, banging her head on the cement. Therese hurt all over. The person driving the car she recognized as one of the teachers from her school, he called 911 and checked her. Her parents were still fighting, blaming each other for her problems. Therese lay on the pavement unable to move. She heard sirens, soon she saw paramedics were over her. They lifted her. She felt herself pop against the restraints as the gurney was lifted into the ambulance. Therese saw the needle over her, then fell asleep.
Therese awakened on a hospital bed, she tugged her arms and could not move them. She hated restraints. She never wanted to hurt anyone. Therese felt powerless, she wanted to kill herself if it would end the screaming in her head. Therese looked up and saw a husky nurse with “Ben” on his name tag.
“Ben, Ben, it is me.” said Therese.
“Hey you.” said Ben. He pulled out a syringe and she fell asleep again.
Therese awoke later. She still could not move, she opened her eyes. She could barely lift her eyelids. Therese felt wet in her gown, she knew she soiled herself. Therese screamed.
Therese screamed and she screamed again. She sat up straight and moved her arm, the restraints broke, she could move her arms. She held her arms in front of her and stared at them, there were no restraints. Therese was confused.
The screams scared Peter, he fell out of bed trying to get up, and fell again reaching for a light. Therese was sitting on the bed staring at her arms crying. “Therese. Therese. It’s me Peter, you are at my house.” Peter said, doing her best to re-orientate her. Therese looked down and felt her underwear, and the sheets. Everything was wet. Therese buried her face in her hands and cried.
“Therese, it’s Peter, you are okay. You are safe.” said Peter as he sat next to her, and held her. He realized what he sat into and did his best to avoid any negative expression, Peter just wanted to be supportive at that moment.
“Your sheets, I ruined your sheets.” said Therese, embarrassed. No words could describe her feelings of dismay and humiliation. She sat broken as she feared a simple accident ruined her chances with the person she loved. Therese shook depressed, broken and her brain slow from her evening medications.
“Don’t worry, when you have a baby, everything that’s a mattress has a plastic cover.” said Peter as he pulled up the corner of the bed sheets to show her. Therese stood up, and started pulling the sheets to wash them.
Peter handed her a pair of shorts, and a shirt, “Why don’t you take a shower, I’ll wash the stuff. Therese, pulled off her wet shorts, threw them on the bed, and then tossed the shirt, and walked to the bathroom. Peter stood there with his mouth open, unsure if he was the one dreaming. Peter pulled himself together, and took the laundry to the washing machine, and started it, then he took out new sheets and made the bed. He sat on the bed waiting for Therese. In a few minutes she came out, she liked the shower gel, it made her smell like him.
“I’m sorry about that.” Therese told Peter. She was still devastated and embarrassed. She had nightmares before, but never expected to have one that night.
“Don’t be sorry, it’s okay, ready to try sleeping again?” He asked. Peter was used to being woken up during the middle of the night, but he was eager to be back asleep. Therese climbed into bed, and Peter quickly fell asleep. Therese lay next to him, afraid to fall asleep, but she felt safe enough to eventually give in. There were no more nightmares that night. By the time Therese awakened in the morning, she smelled breakfast and heard the dryer running. She stretched out her toes, wondered if the whole night was a dream, and then checked and saw she was wearing Peter’s clothes. Therese cried again out of embarrassment.
Therese stretched again after several minutes, she knew she had to get up either way. Therese freshened herself and went out to the kitchen. Peter had finished making breakfast and had a spot set up for each of them at the table. He handed her a cup of coffee and kissed her on the cheek. “I’ve been thinking.” he said.
Therese was nervous, but she sipped her coffee and asked him. “What are you thinking?” asked Therese as she drank some more of her coffee, it was terrible, but it was hot and it was still technically coffee.
“Maybe I could go to college with you, what are you going to study?” he asked.
“I’m not sure.” Therese told him, and Peter thought he heard a hint of a giggle.
“What’s so funny?” He asked.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
“The guys are worried you are going to quit the store, they have been talking about tuition assistance for you.” Therese told him.
“That would help.” said Peter. He liked the idea of Therese being with him through college.
Therese was glad Peter avoided the subject of the last night. She didn’t know if she could even explain it. She reached for her purse, grabbed her medication and took her pills. She then looked and saw Peter had seen her do that, and was embarrassed, she hid the pills back into her purse, and drank some water. Therese looked down at her breakfast and kept not looking up.
“You don’t have to be embarrassed about your medication. I know it is not who you are, it is just something you have to do.” Peter told her. Therese looked up with sad eyes, that was the last thing she ever expected a guy to ever tell her. Five months ago, it would have been the last thing Peter ever thought he would say.
“I wasn’t always like this. I don’t know, maybe when I was eight, nine, things changed. In junior high, something happened, I had to relearn almost everything I knew. They put me in special ed.” Therese told him. She hoped if she was honest, he’d leave her now instead of it hurting worse later.
“What’s it like?” asked Peter.
“With the pills, life is difficult. Without the pills life is horrible. Have you ever had the newsman on TV tell you that you suck and should die?” Therese asked Peter.
“No, never.” answered Peter.
“It hurts. People treat me like I’m stupid because I can’t find words. I had to learn to learn different. Kara, was my best friend. She couldn’t take it. I used to run out of class screaming.” explained Therese. “In a few minutes, my words will get slow, these pills will kick in.” Therese told him. “I’m sorry if I scared you.” added Therese.
“Out of all the shit I have seen in my life, you opening up doesn’t come close to scaring me.” Peter told her. Peter had never seen Therese before she took her morning pills. She was a bit freer with the words, her emotions a little less numbed.
“Just ask me, no one is this accepting of anything, not anything like this.” said Therese.
“Ask what?” Peter said.
“Ask me if I’m nuts, ask me if I eat rats, ask me how many times I have been in the hospital. If you are going to freak out and dump me, I just want you to do it now before I love you any more.” said Therese, pulling back out the medications and staring at the pill bottles in her hands.
“You’re not nuts, you are kind. You rarely eat meat, except for when I cook it, and you do it to be polite, it’s pretty obvious if you barely nibble chicken you don’t eat rats. I don’t care how many time you have been to the hospital, I care that you pick yourself back up. Dump you? I still don’t know how I am so lucky to be with you, but I to satisfy you, yah, is my daughter safe with you?” asked Peter.
“I swear to God, I would die before I ever let anything happen to her.” said Therese. Deep sincerity echoed in her eyes, Peter believed her, Therese would risk her life without hesitation to protect Ana.
“Then that’s all that really matters, isn’t it? That you love her, and you love me?” asked Peter.
“No matter what I look like on the outside, I promise my feelings are real on the inside, and inside I am filled with love for you both.” Therese said, finishing her breakfast, and feeling the onset of her medications. Peter didn’t doubt her, the closer he was to her, the easier he could read her feelings.
“Can I tell you one thing?” Peter asked.
“Okay.” answered Therese.
“You look great, even in the morning.” Peter told her.
“Even with my messy hair?” asked Therese.
Therese looked her eyes sideways, and asked him what he meant. “you really don’t know you are beautiful.” replied Peter.
Therese grinned real big and stuck her tongue our to the side of her mouth, rolling her eyes back, letting out a cat-like laugh. Therese got ready, unsure what to wear to work, and just put on her clothes that were in the dryer. She was going to wear her Kookie Mart shirt all day. Peter had the same option. Therese arrived earlier than normal to the Cowffee Cup because she left when Peter did. This was her first time hanging out with Erin while she did the opening and made the muffins, and Therese was excited to be there early.
Therese arrived to work early with Peter, so she entered the back way through the Kookie Mart. There was something about the morning light coming through the windows of the silent coffee shop that gave her a peaceful feeling. Therese stopped and looked around and smiled, then smiled at Erin when she looked up.
“It’s good you are here to learn this, I might want to take some time off this summer, and I’ll hope you can run the store by yourself.” said Erin. Therese liked how Erin didn’t order her to do things, she respected Therese’s ability to make choices. Erin didn’t want to train Therese to need her. “I have the recipes for the muffins here, the trick is to make extras.” said Erin.
“For Ben?” Therese asked.
“Bingo. And you have to do it first, because if Ben’s oven doesn’t work, he’ll come over here to bake cookies, and need the oven.” said Erin.
“Gotcha.” said Therese, sipping her first good coffee in the morning.
“So how was last night?” asked Erin, eager for a little girl talk.
“I had a nightmare, and I wet the bed, and screamed.” said Therese, flatly. Erin could tell Therese was ashamed.
“Remember me shitting in the crapateria?” said Erin.
“Yes.” Therese said.
“These things happen.” Erin said, patting her on the shoulder. “Did you still have a good time?”
“People with babies have mattress protectors.” said Therese. Erin gave her a hug and went back to work. Saturdays get busy, and soon Erin was up and prepared the floor. All the chairs were neatly squared away. Right after the timer rang, and Erin pulled out the muffins to cool, Ben came in with a tray of cookies to bake. Erin winked at Therese.
“You’re here early and in the same shirt.” said Ben, looking at Therese. “I don’t want to know, I don’t want to know.” Ben said, after he placed his cookies in the oven and walked out. Erin set the timer for him. Ben came back in to set the timer, saw Erin had set it and said “Thank you, and I still don’t want to know.” as he walked back out.
“Why don’t you introduce him to a lady?” asked Therese.
“Ben?” replied Erin.
“Yes, Ben. He might be lonely.” said Therese.
Erin backed up, and started talking. “Two years ago, I have this friend who is looking, so I set her up with Ben. He takes her out, to a truck rally, for the first date. It is loud, she can’t hear a thing he says, so she writes it off. So he takes her out again, their next date he takes her bowling, he won’t stop talking, not about bowling, but how he could make a better bowling ball, spends the whole night talking about the perfect bowling ball.
A month later, I set him up on another date. He takes her to a restaurant and ends up arguing about how to cook the food, finally he goes in the kitchen with the manager and the cooks and spends the whole night adjusting their recipes and teaching them tricks. His date sat alone the whole meal, finally, the manager comps her the meal and she leaves. What does Ben do? He texts her later, wanting to know if she wants to come back for dessert.
Another six months or so, I set Ben up to with a friend who is a teacher, they actually have a good time, Ben shows up for career day, and talks to the kids about running a convenience store, all day, the kids are excited for hours.” said Erin.
“What’s wrong with that?” asked Therese.
“He wasn’t invited, and it was the day before. He passed out cookies and captivated the class, and turned the fifteen minutes he should have had into a six-hour seminar. She couldn’t get a word in to stop him.”
“She might give him another chance.” said Therese.
“No, she made me promise to not set her up with any more guys, ever.” said Erin.
“I run a successful business with little overhead, and all our capital assets are paid for. Those kids learned a lot from me. Vivo wants a muffin too.” said Ben, walking back in and getting another muffin.
“She was supposed to be preparing them for their standardized testing.” Erin told him.
“You can’t have standardized testing with non-standard students.” Ben said, and then turned to Therese, “Think about it, based on the law of averages, you have one normal student in your class, and everyone else is non-standard in one way or another.” said Ben with a grin.
“I’m not standard.” said Therese flatly.
“And that, my young lady, is why you fit in here. If I ever met that one normal guy, I’d probably hate him.” said Ben, walking out, holding the extra muffin.
“I always thought it would be nice to be normal again.” said Therese, returning to her work.
Ben walked in and tossed Vivo a muffin. “What do you think we should get these kids for graduating?” asked Ben.
“You could forgive Peter.” Vivo said, starting his muffin, and playing cars with Ana while a Space-Girl episode played on the TV.
“Forgive him?” asked Ben. “I think I have done a good job helping him.” Ben defended.
“You’ve helped him, you’ve fed him, you have given him a second chance, but let’s be honest, you have never forgiven him.” said Vivo.
“Somethings are too deep to forgive.” said Ben.
“Somethings were beyond his control.” said Vivo.
“Well, he could have tried harder.” Ben said sternly, dropping the subject. Ben looked over at Ana, he knew he would always do right to her.
Over at the Cowffee Cup, Erin and Therese were talking back at the counter. They had closed the shop for the evening and were finishing cleaning. “My mom wants me to start birth control.” said Therese.
“Oh?” Erin asked, once again cast in a less comfortable role.
“She says being a mom is too much for me.” said Therese as she looked up, “And my medications might not be good for the baby.” Therese finished.
“I take birth control.” Erin told her. “I’m scared to have a baby.”
“You’re scared?” asked Therese. Erin never seemed scared of anything.
“Remember I told you my sister was just like you?” asked Erin. Therese nodded. “My mom was too, and my Grandma, well they just called her eccentric.” Erin told her.
“You are afraid, if you have kids, they will be like me.” said Therese.
Erin nodded, feeling ashamed.
“I used to want to kill myself. It hurts to live sometimes still, but I’d rather be me than not be born.” said Therese.
“Maybe you have a chance to change the rules for this one.” suggested Erin.
“Ana?” asked Therese.
“You don’t have to give birth to someone to be their mother.” Erin told her. Therese thought silently about that. Maybe Erin and her mom were both right, maybe she could be a mother and not stop taking her medications. Therese wished she was more normal, maybe not the normal kid, but definitely more normal than she was. She decided she would ask her mom to take her for birth control. Maybe then she could be intimate with Peter and he might not stop them.
“Erin, thank you for being my friend, and my boss.” said Therese.
“Don’t ever think I don’t love every minute of it.” Erin told her.