Daiyo laughed, patting Milo’s legs where the man sat on his shoulder, perched with his shoulders squeezed in between Alice, who sprawled wide, red eyes cut at Milo and a smirk on her face, and Daiyo’s stony head. “Sorry about that. I forgot that all men aren’t built the same.”

“Ah. Thanks,” Milo grumbled under his breath. I didn’t need another reminder that I’m weaker than Aster. Not that there’s anything shameful about being weaker than an S-rank solo adventurer. Most people are weaker than Aster Zwei!

Stella looked at Milo, then batted Daiyo’s head. “Shh. You’re bothering him.”

“No, no, it’s fine,” Milo said hurriedly, mindful of Daiyo’s flesh-crushing and bone-breaking stone limbs. It would take him about ten seconds to turn me into ground beef.

Daiyo turned to Milo. With a kindly voice, he asked, “Is that so? I’m sorry. Please tell me when things upset you. I’m trying to learn human customs, but I can’t learn without feedback.”

“It’s… it’s fine. It’s really fine,” Milo muttered. He slid off Daiyo’s shoulder and stumbled back to his feet, taking a moment to brush off his robes and gather himself.

Alice bounded down beside him, and Daiyo set Stella down next to the two of them. Together, they surveyed the opening chamber of the dungeon.

A raw, untamed space stretched around them. Stone walls slowly dripped water, the drops slicking down shiny limestone deposits built slowly under the drops’ own power. Sword scratches, dirt, and fallen leaves marred the cavern’s floor. A few small crystals high in the ceiling cast a pale light, though most of the light came from a magic lantern installed behind an iron cage in a cleft in the wall, where the monsters couldn’t easily destroy it. Dirt, mud, and filth set the tone.

“Well… it’s a real fixer-upper,” Milo tried.

He glanced at the entrance, where sunlight filtered in, then cut his eyes back at Daiyo. I could make a run for it, but my face will end up as ragu if that golem catches me, and I’ll be honest: he’s much stronger and faster than I am. Even assuming I somehow sneak in a debuff, I don’t have a debuff stiff enough to turn the battle to my advantage.

Dammit. If Silas was awake, we could combine our power and slow him, like we did on the way in… but Silas is asleep right now, curled up in that crystal. Another reason not to run.

Stella tilted her head at Milo. “What’s the problem?”

Milo swallowed, wrenching his eyes away from the exit. “Problem? There’s no problem.”

“With this room?” Stella clarified, her brows furrowing.

“Ah. Yes. That is, it’s… what isn’t a problem,” Milo muttered. Putting the question of escaping out of his mind, he took in the chamber again.

He moved to the limestone-slicked wall first, giving it a thorough once-over. “Usually a leak is a nightmare, but in this case, we can highlight it as part of the charm of having tea in a dungeon.”

“Good!” Stella said happily.

Walking the exterior perimeter, he patted the dryer walls a few times. “These too… it isn’t ideal, but we’ll call it dungeon chic.”

“What’s a chic?” Daiyo asked.

“Er, it means… fashionable. Fancy,” Milo explained. He knelt, examining the flor ,then sighed. “This floor is a lost cause, though. Are those bloodstains? And the scratches, the uneven stone… putting aside the safety hazards, it’s a bit much, even for dungeon chic.”

Daiyo lifted his foot and stomped. The stone floor rippled, as though made of water instead of stone. The ripple left smooth, clean stone in its wake, the scratches, bloodstains, and uneven rocks gone. “Better?”

“Ah, it’s very nice, but a bit plain,” Milo said. He waved a hand. It’s not as if there’s much we can do about that—

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Stella frowned. She knelt and pressed her hands to the stone. Glowing blue veins shot through the stone, lighting the chamber from below. Standing, she dusted off her hands and nodded to Milo. “What do you think?”

“Oh… yeah, that’s, that’s nice,” Milo said, struck dumb. That’s not even an effort to her? What kind of a monster is she? I know she’s a Dungeon Spirit, but for a human… I don’t know if an S-rank could manage that trick without any sort of incantation or spell.

“Stella, be careful. Your mana…” Daiyo warned her.

Stella shook her head. “It’s fine!”

“Right, so what else do we need?” Daiyo asked, crossing his arms at Milo.

Milo swallowed. “A bit more light?”

Stella puffed up her cheeks and threw her hands out. Tiny blue crystals burst out all over the ceiling, no more than pinpricks. In the dungeon’s natural darkness, the little blue lights became distant stars, scattered over a velvet-black ceiling.

“Whoa,” Milo murmured. That’s gorgeous.

“What else?” Stella asked, excited.

“Tables and chairs. Probably, er, Aster mentioned an oven, but probably a burner, a chimney, and teapots, too,” Milo listed out.

“Let’s get to work,” Daiyo grunted, cracking his mitten-hands’ knuckles. He knelt and began to raise table after table out of the stone floor.

Milo licked his lips. He backed up to the wall, feeling a bit unnecessary. Monsters are this powerful? How did we humans ever defeat them?

Well… that’s right. We gang up in groups of five or six and beat them down before they can even begin to fight. But seeing this, I can say that, rather than that being unfair, that might be the only way to beat monsters.

“Hey—whoa, what’s everyone doing up here?” Aster asked, a sack slung over his shoulder again. He thumped it down on the floor, staring at the transformed chamber. “Whoa. Is this the same dungeon?”

Stella ran over to him and grabbed his leg. “Aster! Look, we almost have a tea room.”

Daiyo gave his most recent table a kick at its feet, snapping it free of the floor stone, then nodded at Aster. “Another few minutes, and I’ll have some tables, and chairs to match.”

“Wow, someone’s been busy,” Aster said, laughing gently. He ruffled Stella’s hair and looked around the entry chamber, nodding at the new modifications.

Milo narrowed his eyes at Aster. Though isn’t the biggest monster here… the human who can go toe-to-toe with these monsters, even without any magic? Alhough Aster isn’t the dangerous bloodthirsty criminal he was made out to be… I think I understand why the guild put a bounty on him.

“Eh? You mean, Viki can grow tea leaves? What did I buy all this tea for, then?” Aster asked, shaking his head.

Daiyo stomped over, his footfalls shaking the earth. “Aster, about this ‘oven’ thing…”

“Oh, right. Stella, can you call a fire slime here? It’s fine if it takes a while,” Aster said. He picked up his bag again, hefting it over his shoulder.

“I can spawn one,” Stella offered.

Aster shook his head. “I don’t want you to waste your mana.”

“It’s not a waste. I can use it later,” Stella insisted.

Aster sighed. “Stella…”

Stella pouted, then shook her head. “Fine. But it’ll take a while! A long while. It’d be way faster to summon one.”

“I know, I know.” Aster drew Daiyo away, pointing toward a nook in the back of the room. As he passed, he caught sight of Milo and smiled. “If you really want to go, no one will stop you.”

Milo straightened up, startled. “Eh? I wasn’t thinking about—”

“In the end, keeping you here only delays the inevitable. If you want to tell Fontea and Jaro, you will, regardless of how long I keep you here. I won’t force you to stay if you don’t want to,” Aster said, shrugging.

But what happens to Silas if I leave? Milo took a deep breath and shook his head. “I’ll stay here. At least until the tea party.”

“He just wants cookies!” Stella declared, narrowing her eyes at Milo.

“Well, isn’t that good? We’re going to attract people from all over with some delicious tea and cookies,” Aster replied, chuckling at Stella.

“No humans,” Stella muttered. She crossed her arms and glared out at the sunlight, giving it a fierce stare.

A small pang of guilt burst through Milo’s gut. He glanced at the floor. That’s our fault, isn’t it. I… can’t completely blame us, but still… if we hadn’t killed her mother, what might have happened instead? Would she have been so afraid of humans?

“We can’t have no humans and a tea party at the same time,” Aster reasoned.

“What if we have a monsters’ tea party?” Stella asked.

“Then you won’t get any mana,” Aster said, shrugging.

Stella bit her lip. She shook her head, hair lashing against her cheeks. “I need mana.”

“Then have the tea party with humans. No one will get hurt. Neither humans nor monsters. I’ll be right there to make sure, and Daiyo will be standing just around the corner. We won’t let anyone get hurt,” Aster replied. He paused, then grinned. “And you’ll get cookies, too, if you have the party.”

“Cookies…” Drool leaked down Stella’s chin. She wiped her mouth and swallowed hungrily.

“So? Tea party?” Aster asked.

Hesitantly, Stella nodded.

“Good, good. Daiyo, about the ovens…”

Milo shook his head. I’m not even sure what’s happening anymore. Are these really monsters? Are these the same ferocious beasts we, the Aces, fought our way past with all our might? But they seem so… normal.

Could it be? Are they not naturally man-eating demons, but… are they actually the land gods of eons past? It’s not something they bring up in seminary—well, of course not. Monsters are evil, and humans are good. It’s simple. And yet… the more I watch Stella, the more I wonder.

Milo snorted. And I’ll be honest… I never cared much for seminary, in the first place.