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Dungeon Devouring Devil
Chapter 6 - Murder Bunnies

Chapter 6 - Murder Bunnies

The sounds out in the dark were getting louder. Bo could tell he was surrounded, but still didn’t know what was making the thumping noise. Whatever it was, there were a lot of them.

“How do I use this wildcard?” Bo asked.

It’s in your personal storage space. Just think about redeeming it and the system will do the rest.

Bo did as he was told and a new message burst across his vision.

DEVOURING DEVIL SERVANT WILDCARD REDEMPTION IN PROGRESS!

You have one wildcard available for redemption. Would you prefer to redeem the wildcard for a heritage, technique, or skill card?

Please select an available option.

AWAITING SELECTION. PLEASE ENJOY THIS MUSIC FROM THE ELEGIAC ENSEMBLE CHOIR TO ASSIST YOUR CONCENTRATION.

Music that reminded Bo of every time he’d been placed on hold by customer service burst into his skull. He willed it to a lower volume but could still barely hear Barbie’s voice over the syrupy melody.

--technique card is probably suitable.

Good enough. Bo imagined himself redeeming the wild card for a technique card, and trumpets blared a victorious fanfare inside his skull. The blast was painful, but at least it killed off the hideous Muzak.

WILDCARD REDEEMED!

You have selected a Technique card pack. Opening pack…

RANDOMIZATION IN PROGRESS

The riffling sound thrummed in Bo’s ears, and images flashed across his vision. A sealed envelope, the size and shape of a playing card, tore open to reveal a fan of three such cards. One by one, the cards flipped over from their bejewelled backs to reveal their titles.

What did you do? Barbie’s voice was frantic. Did you select a technique card?

“You told me to!” Bo protested.

I told you that anything except for a technique card is suitable. You could have used an equipment or skill card, even at your pathetic core level. But a technique card will be useless until you gain more power.

“Don’t be such a Debbie Downer. I’ll make it work,” Bo said. “Let’s see what we’ve got here.”

The three cards that hovered in the air in front of the Pitmaster were all clearly of the same type, but had gemstones in different colors at the top of each card. The first two cards had green gems, while the third had blue.

I cannot see these cards. Tell me their names, their descriptions, and the color of the gemstones at their tops, and I’ll help you avoid the disaster of drafting the wrong one.

“These are the three I have to pick from,” Bo said. “Smoke ‘em, which says it allows me to cook meat to imbue it with special properties. That one has a green gemstone.”

A useless uncommon technique card. I see no way that can help you survive this new world. Please tell me there is something more useful.

“So green gemstones are uncommon cards, got it,” Bo said. “The other uncommon card is No Bell. Says it lets me ignore the effects of one attack with power equal to or less than my core level as a reaction. That sounds very handy.”

Yes, you would think so. But, as I warned you, techniques that rely on your core level are next to worthless to you.

“Makes sense,” Bo said. “We need to hurry this along. Whatever’s out there is getting closer.”

What is the last card? Surely there has to be something of value there.

“One with a blue gemstone,” Bo said.

Oh, that is good. A rare card. Let’s hope it isn’t tied to your pathetic core level.

“We’d get a lot farther if you’d tell me how to improve my core instead of whining about how weak I am,” Bo said. He waited for an apology or some response from Barbie, but received only silence. Of course. “This one’s called Hungry Hungry Devil. Use up to X consumables.”

That’s it. That’s the one.

“I think you’re right,” Bo said. “This’ll let me eat the Meat cards faster.”

Correct. It’s amazing. And it combos perfectly with your Severance card.

Bo knew the demon was right. The combination of Severance to carve hunks of Meat from enemies and Hungry Hungry Devil to use it quickly would be an enormous boost to his survivability.

And Bo really wanted to survive.

WILD CARD REDEEMED!

First wildcard redeemed!

You have unlocked the following reward:

TITLE: Deal Me In (Common)

DRAFTED CARD

Hungry Hungry Devil

Type: Heritage (Devouring Devil)

Activate: X Constitution

Generate: X Strength

Power: X

As a piggy little servant, you are used to stuffing your belly on the run. Activate up to X

consumable cards with total POW X or less.

Rarity: Rare

WARNING: Your deck currently contains 6 cards of a maximum of 5 cards. Please remove one card to your personal inventory.

PLEASE SELECT A CARD TO REMOVE!

Fortunately, there was an obvious choice for removal. The Metamorph card was of absolutely no use until he got out from under the Possession technique. Removing it from his deck would make sure Bo didn’t draw it, instead of something useful, during a fight.

METAMORPH HAS BEEN REMOVED FROM YOUR DECK!

And just in time, because the things skulking at the edges of the road had stepped up their strategy to the “attacking and eating Bo” part of the game plan. The creatures had formed a circle and were moving in on Bo’s location, eyes glowing red in the moonlight, antlers stabbing at the strange sky.

Fucking jackalopes.

I would suggest you leave the area as quickly as your chicken legs will carry you. There are too many of these creatures for you to fight.

“I guess we’ll find out if you’re right, because there’s no way I’m running anywhere on these sorry excuses for legs,” Bo said. He peered at the nearest jackalope, searching for some weakness he could exploit.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

GRAIL SYSTEM STATUS REPORT

Name: Jackalope

Heritage: Aberrant Beast

Core Level: 0

Alignment: Neutral Evil

Origin: Native

Deck Type: Striker

STR: 0, DEX: 1, INT: -2, WIS: 0, RES: 0, CON: -1

Status: Healthy

END GRAIL SYSTEM STATUS REPORT

As the creatures closed in, Bo willed the cleaver into his hand, and summoned a draw from his deck. His first three cards were Hackstorm, Severance, and Danger Spice. That combination was almost perfect for this situation, and Bo activated all three cards, starting with Danger Spice. That would cost him 1 Constitution mana, but would give him 1 Strength mana back. He could then spend 2 Strength mana on Hackstorm and use the last of his Strength mana to activate Severance.

WARNING!

Your card selection uses more Strength mana than your current Strength. If the Danger Spice card fails to generate Strength mana, you will overextend yourself and be stunned until the following turn.

DO YOU WISH TO CONTINUE WITH THIS ACTIVATION CHOICE?

Though time had slowed like it always did when Bo chose cards to activate, he sensed the jackalopes closing in. He worried about overextending himself, but didn’t see what other choice he had. It was a calculated risk, but this was the only way to whittle down the number of Jackalopes and give the pitmaster meat he could use to heal himself if he was injured again.

Time surged forward again, and Bo saw just how close the jackalopes had gotten while he futzed around with his cards. Beady red eyes gleamed in the darkness as the furry bodies advanced.

The pitmaster held his ground, waiting for the creatures to move into range. He had to time this just right, or he’d end up poked full holes by an army of rabbit antlers.

Fortunately, the monster hares moved as one, thumping their back legs against the asphalt to coordinate their movements with sound. The drumming tempo quickened as the jackalopes closed in until it was a galloping rhythm that had Bo’s heart racing with adrenaline. Then, when they were all about a yard away from Bo, the mutant rabbits gave a final thump and hunkered down over their back legs.

They’re about to jump. We are so going to die. It was horrible knowing you, human.

“You too,” Bo replied. “By the way, your deck was a servant’s deck. Guess you weren’t so much of a warrior after all.”

Then there was no more time for talking.

The jackalopes leapt as one. Their furry bodies flew through the air, a noose of monsters tightening around Bo’s throat. The pitmaster was about to find out if he was a tactical genius or a fool who should have run when he had the chance.

Bo hurled a handful of Danger Spice into the crowd. Its low power meant it could only affect one murder bunny, so he aimed it at one far to his right.

That rabbit squealed in pain and confusion. It whirled in the air, chasing its own tail, and fell to the asphalt, making pitiful mewling noises.

The rest of the jackalopes, though, didn’t care about their fallen brother. They only had angry red eyes for Bo.

Strength mana flooded into Bo from the successful card activation. That kicked off the Hackstorm card, and his cleaver flashed through the air with terrifying speed. The sharp, heavy blade swept through a wide circle that spun Bo around on his bony legs. Against stronger foes, that would not have been an effective attack, because of its low Power.

But the jackalopes weren’t tough, just fast. The sweeping arc of the cleaver hit their leaping bodies like a tornado. Furry bodies exploded into gory geysers, drenching Bo with blood, guts, and scraps of fur. Every jackalope in arm’s reach had died in an instant.

Well, you got half of them. You’ll never get the stink of rabbit poop out of your hair, though.

“The apron stopped most of it,” Bo said with a savage grin.

His final card, Severance, activated. Bo targeted the rabbit he’d taken down with , and was glad his theory had worked out. The rabbit was prone and disoriented, which gave Bo massive bonuses to his attack. That virtually assured a critical hit, which added a Meat card to his personal inventory. He couldn’t eat it, yet, but that was all right. His current injury level was Wounded, healed up from Mortal. Bo had suffered no injuries in that first clash. If he could keep his luck going, maybe he could fix himself up before he made it back to camp.

The remaining jackalopes were warier than their dead cousins, whose corpses littered the pavement. They thumped their feet to communicate and shifted their positions, varying the distance between themselves and Bo so that they couldn’t all be taken down by another sweeping attack.

The pitmaster could only watch the mutant rabbits prepare their attack. He didn’t have defensive cards, so would have to hope that his natural toughness would weather the worst the jackalopes could dish out. His next hand held the last two cards before the deck shuffled itself.

Carnivore’s Cleaver, Hungry Hungry Devil.

Bo chose to activate Hungry Hungry Devil first, to lower his wound status before the jackalopes could stab him with their horns. It would be just his luck to wind up dead because he hadn’t healed when he had the chance.

Carnivore’s Cleaver was next up, but it would only get a single jackalope.

Hungry Hungry Devil made eating the Meat a lot simpler. One second Bo’s belly was mostly empty, the next it was half full. That was unnerving, but Bo would take it over having to choke down fistfuls of raw meat every time he needed to heal. Because something told him he’d need to do that a lot.

The rabbits attacked again, and Bo’s Carnivore’s Cleaver card hacked one of them in half as it screamed through the air toward him. More blood and guts soaked splashed across the pitmaster’s black apron and face, half-blinding him as the other Jackalopes hit him like tiny freight trains. Or maybe very large bullets? Bo wasn’t sure which metaphor worked better there.

PACK TACTICS ASSAULT!

Attackers: 10, Str 0. Total Attack Bonus: 5 vs Constitution 4 = 1 wound.

PACK ATTACKERS REGROUPING!

Bo was glad he’d healed when he had the chance. That had dropped him down to the Slight Wound status, and this fresh wound brought him back up to Wounded. If he’d waited to heal, Bo would have had to deal with a Hampering Wound, and that sounded terrible.

Bo’s next hand held Severance, Hackstorm, and Hungry Hungry Devil. The jackalopes were still in close combat range, so Bo planned to harvest some meat, eat it, and then obliterate his enemies.

The tactic went off without a hitch. Bo healed himself back to Minor Wound status, then exploded the nearby jackalopes. He raised his cleaver overhead and roared at the remaining monstrous furballs.

That gave them something to think about. They’d just watched their enemy end the fight in better condition than he’d started it, and most of their number was dead. Those that remained exercised the better part of valor and retreated from the pitmaster.

One of them, though, hesitated. It stood up on its hind legs and raised its hands to the sky. Its red eyes fixed Bo with a deep, abiding hatred.

The pitmaster was sure that was the same jackalope he’d seen on the highway earlier. He stomped a foot in its direction, and the critter joined its friends in running for the hills.

They’ll be back once they replenish their numbers. Cowards.

“You’ve got a lot of room to talk about cowards,” Bo said. “Didn’t hear a peep out of you once the fighting really got rolling there.”

You’re being ridiculous. I didn’t want to distract you, that’s all. I know how simple and crude your mind is. You should loot this mess.

“Doubt there’s much left,” Bo said.

He was right. In the end, he came away from the fight with scraps of fur (10), small bones (10), and glowing crystals (10).

“What the heck are these?” Bo asked.

I believe they are a sort of crafting material that can only be harvested from monsters.

“Why didn’t I see any of these in the carrion?” Bo asked and started his walk back to the campsite.

Those were not monsters. They were inanimate objects driven to attack by a spell.

“You better fess up as to how you know that,” Bo said.

I am not ashamed. My people sent them. It was our hope they would stop the hex’s champion from activating a deck.

“Guess I showed you,” Bo said, a satisfied smile creasing his bloody face. “There weren’t any crystals on the devil bodies, either.”

Because we aren’t monsters. We are sanctioned harvesters of the Grail System. I don’t expect you to understand the distinction.

“I don’t think there is one,” Bo said. “Monsters, harvesters. Whatever. They all die the same.”

Barbie didn’t have a response to that. Bo was glad for some peace. He’d have liked a bath, too. At least he was still alive, even if he had rabbit shit in his hair, blood clotting in his beard, and a serious case of jungle crotch developing in his gore-soaked shorts.

He couldn’t help but think how much his life had changed in the past week. His father’s death and sister’s departure had cut Bo loose from the only world he’d ever known. That had been awful, but the loan sharks were worse. The pitmaster thought they would be the worst of his worries for the foreseeable future.

Then the magic cards, devils, and monsters had shown up.

Bo still found it hard to accept all this, but he didn’t have a choice in the matter. The world had changed. Now all he could do was cowboy up and do the job that had landed in his lap.

In some ways, that was a comfort. The tasks laid out before him were challenging, but they were problems he could solve through effort and clear thinking. That was an improvement over the old world, filled with social rules that had always tied the pitmaster up in knots. With his cleaver and his cards, Bo felt like he could make something of this new world.

If he survived.

Though it was scarcely dawn, everyone was up and around at the campsite when Bo returned. And they all stared at Bo like he was the monster when he returned.

“It’s not my blood,” Bo said. “I’m fine.”

“What the hell happened to you?” Slick asked as he emerged from the crowd. Then he looked down at Bo’s bottom half. “Damn, son, you need to stop skipping leg day.”

“I tried doing squats today,” Bo said, “but some asshole cut my legs off.”

“They don’t look cut off,” Jenny replied as she walked over to Bo, wiping blood from hands with a rag. She had the half-grin on her face that told Bo she thought he was joking. “Skinny as a chicken wing, but still there.”

“They got better,” Bo explained, deciding not to explain to everyone that, yes, a devil had lopped off his legs and now he was growing new ones. That would be a lot to swallow, and he didn’t have the energy to explain everything. Or the desire to tell his friends that a devil had possessed him to heal those legs. Best to change the subject. “Why are your hands all bloody?”

“Oh, that,” Jenny said.

“Yeah, that,” Bo shot back.

“Well,” she said, “some monsters attacked the camp last night.”

Oh, Bo thought. Shit.

Card Art for Hungry Hungry Devil [https://i.imgur.com/lFTjINl.png]