Cael was getting kind of sick of being mugged.

‘You’ve been awake for, like, six hours total. How have you managed to get mugged twice?’

‘I think we both already know the answer to that.’ Cael gave his shadow a look.

“Hey, can we wrap this up quickly? I’m broke and I have better things to do than getting mugged out behind…” he struggled to remember the name of the restaurant, “Cyrus’ Seafood Grill."

His mugger was, coincidentally, also a baixan. What was up with that? Did their hedgehog quills make them harder to apprehend or something? How come both of his muggers were hedgehog people?

Whatever.

“I don’t want your money. I want information.” He growled.

Tar outright laughed at this proclamation and Cael had to bite his lip to keep himself from doing the same. Maybe sharing emotions telepathically wasn’t always a good thing.

“I might have even less information than money, dude. Would you mind telling me what gave you that idea?” Though he’d managed to keep from laughing, there was definitely a bit of amusement colored into his voice.

“You’re being escorted by Enken. The Constabulary doesn’t associate with anyone unless you are a criminal or you have information they want.” He waved his knife around wildly. “With a level that low, the Constabulary wouldn’t need to escort you to jail. Anybody in the city could drop you off at their office. I find it much more likely that you have something you need to tell them, and that it is so important or unbelievable they need their Side of the Truth to verify your words.”

‘Alright, I can see this is going nowhere. I’m going to go out and wait for Enken. Have fun with pokey.’

‘Let me know when you find him.’

Tar slipped out of the alley. He wasn’t even hiding. If the baixan had been paying attention, Tar was just walking out in cat form.

“Right. That’s a cool theory. Alternatively, do you want to hear what I think?”

He got a look that told him he was going to get stabbed if he didn’t say something, so he just went for it.

“Yesterday, I almost got eaten by the shadow elemental that popped by. After they saved me, they took pity on me and brought me home like a two-legged dumpster puppy.” He hadn't really spent much time thinking about it, but now that he was, he figured they'd likely only brought him home out of pity. “Currently, I’m on my way to check on another victim who was with me at the time of the attack.”

Cael paused to think for another second. “You’re free to tag along to verify this.”

He stepped around the spiky baixan blocking the alley. “Now come on, Enken will be back soon.”

Of course, the baixan never let him get that far. His knife darted out and sunk into Cael’s arm.

“Ow! What was that for?”

“My knife is poisoned. Come with me or you will die.”

Cael didn’t fancy his chances of survival even if he did follow the man. The man who was just kind of staring at him.

“Well, hurry up and lead the way. Supposedly I’m dying here.”

In response, he turned and began walking. His quills swayed slightly as he moved.

‘Would you be able to lead Enken to me if this guy takes me to some weird secret hideout?’

‘I’d like to say yes, but given your situation, I’ll give it a dubious maybe. I can feel your direction?’

‘Good enough for me.’

“So, are you going to tell me your name, or should I just keep calling you unsavory things in my head.” Ooh. ‘Unsavory’. That was a fun word. Cael hoped to use it more going forward, but he’d probably forget.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

Cael waited for a response, but after three more abrupt turns down mostly-empty alleys and streets, he figured he wasn’t getting one. He was getting slightly more pained as they walked though.

“Really? Not even an edgy nickname? Like, ‘Spiky Death’, or ‘The Porcupine’?”

“Do not compare me to a porcupine!”

Oh, that had gotten a rise out of him, but seriously? That was what set him off? Cael wondered if porcupines were some type of monster here since apparently, they did exist. But why the hostility against porcupines? Cael chose not to push further on that matter, as clearly, it was a sore point for the man.

“We’re here.” Cael was shoved through the backdoor of a building. He had no clues as to what kind of building it was. Before he regained his balance, he was stabbed in the arm again.

“Would you stop doing that?” Cael complained before reconsidering, “Actually, that better have been the antidote.”

“I never poisoned you, I just needed you to follow me.”

“Then what was the first stab for?”

“I just said. I needed you to follow me. Also, you were annoying me.”

“A porcupine would have had the balls to actually poison me." Cael furrowed his brow. "I didn’t mean to say that.”

“And that was what the second stab was for.” The baixan bound Cael’s hands behind his back.

“What, because you’re an asshole? I... didn’t mean to say that either, although I guess that tells me what you mean. And I'm not taking back that insult.”

“Yeah, it was a poison that compels you to speak your main train of thought. It’s not like everyone has a Side of the Truth just laying around.” He sat Cael down on a suspiciously interrogatey-looking chair.

“You look like you lay around. Haha. Get it? I’m making a joke about you being an easy lay. Tar would have got that, but I guess he can’t hear me right now. Wow, that was rude. I don’t normally think things like that. Is that another effect of the potion?”

“I think you’re a bit annoyed and it’s affecting the tone of your thoughts.” Cael’s captor explained as if this was a common occurrence. Cael didn’t know his schedule, so it very well might have been.

"Maybe a bit. I already couldn’t lie, and Tar tells me I already don’t have a filter, so this was complete overkill. If you’d been more upfront about your intentions, I probably would have answered all of your questions anyway.”

“Yes, well it isn’t like I knew that. In any case, let’s get started.” He did the body wiggle thing again. “What business do you have with the Constabulary?”

“Nothing much, Enken and I are just running a few errands right now. Off to visit orphanages or something, maybe get some groceries.” Cael was stopped before he could properly finish his ramble.

“Stop. Why is the Constabulary interested in you?”

“Oh. That. I think it's mostly pity and maybe a bit of guilt. See, I’m very pitiful, losing limbs left and right— Literally— and getting attacked by that shadow elemental yesterday.”

“Why would they feel guilty?”

“Trista teleported me near a shelter, but I wasn’t able to actually find it because there was nobody outside to lead me there. I think they feel responsible for me getting hurt, which they kind of are, but I don’t hold it against them because it’s not their fault.”

“How can it not be their fault if they are responsible?” The nameless baixan seemed interested in this line of questioning for whatever reason.

“Yeah, it’s technically their fault, I guess, but I don’t blame them. It’s just my [Luck] that something like that would happen to me. Besides, I think it all turned out well enough. I met my best friend because of that. Tar and I are inseparable. Soulmates. Buddies. Bound by the soul against my will. He’s a pretty cool dude though. A bit smug and sarcastic, but that’s one of my favorite things about him. Don't tell him I said that.” Cael tugged lightly on the ropes, “This material is surprisingly comfortable. You must get up to some freaky stuff in your free time.”

“So you aren’t an informant of some type?” He deflated slightly. Was the kidnapper disappointed? Truly a shame.

“Not even remotely. I’m generally clueless about most things. You know what that means?” Cael didn’t wait for a response. The potion literally wasn’t letting him. “You have completely wasted my time. Yours too, I suppose, but I value your time much less than my own.”

“This is just stupid. I’m not even scared because you look pretty non-threatening.” A pair of shadowy cat ears appeared above the baixan’s head and Cael had to forcibly redirect his immediate train of thought. He was even somewhat successful. “If you plan to kill me, you better hurry, because I think you just ran out of time.”

“What does that mean?”

“I think Enken is here. You should go answer the door before he breaks it.” The door splintered off its hinges. “Oops. Never mind. I like to think that was more your fault than anything else. This kidnapping was completely pointless and you stabbed me at the scene of the crime. You must not be very good at this, because I think stabbing a kidnap victim tends to leave easy-to-follow trails.”

Enken handcuffed the baixan after a quick scuffle that took place while Cael was monologuing. It was a bit illuminating.

“Huh. It looks like the quills really do make it harder to apprehend baixans. Is that even the proper plural form?”

“I believe the plural and singular are both 'baixan'.” Enken supplied, not even the slightest bit perturbed by the situation.

“Wonderful. Hey, how long does this potion last?”

The kidnapper didn’t respond so Enken jabbed him with his surprisingly flexible tail.

“It lasts for a day and then halves mana regen for a week. It also gives you a bad headache for the duration of the regeneration debuff. On someone your level, it might last a fair bit longer in every aspect.”

“Oh, cool. So this is going to be my whole day. Hey Tar, you thought my filter was bad before, we can ask Enken for his opinion in a bit.”

‘I bet I can guess what his answer will be by the time you ask.’

“I’m not taking that bet.”