Even though dawn had only recently broken, the sun was high in the sky when Sophia and I entered the courtyard.
"It may be fake, but I still love this place."
It was here, after our duel with Owen Finch, that Sophia had let down her defences and shown me another glimpse of her true self. I remembered how surprised I had been when she had suddenly embraced me and cried in my arms. Although at the time I had already understood that she wore a mask, Sophia had still never seemed capable of that level of emotion.
"And it's all this damn school's fault."
The Sophia that was here by my side, the one who always struggled to express her feelings, was the result of the injustices she had suffered. I loved her so, so much as she was, but I still couldn't forgive the fact that she hadn't had the chance to grow up as a normal girl. And now I was about to tell her the terrible reason why.
How would she react to the revelation that her horrific past had all been decided at the whim of Skylark and his backers?
«Elizabeth, why did we come here?» asked Sophia.
«Because people will leave us alone here at this hour of the morning,» I replied, sitting down on the grass.
«The same goes for our room. Don't you want to relax a bit before class?» asked Sophia, still standing up.
«Actually I think I'd rather relax here... We always end up talking about bad things on the bed lately... I kind of want to keep that stuff out of there.»
«Do you think it'll kill your sex drive or something? Because, knowing you, I really doubt it,» she said with a slight smile as she sat down with her legs crossed.
«I'm trying to be serious...» I said with a sigh.
Sophia always acted like this when I was sad: she always tried to tease me to make me laugh. She really was a caring girlfriend, despite appearances.
"I just hope I can find a good way to comfort her too."
«Sophia... I need to tell you something.»
«You already said that. It's okay Elizabeth, don't worry, I won't get mad or anything, you know it.»
"She thinks I'm about to confess one of my usual screw-ups... I wish that were the case."
«That's not what I'm worried about... it's about something we found upstairs...»
«I see... from the way Celeste was acting, I assumed everything went well, but... did you run into some complications? Or... don't tell me you didn't find anything useful at all!» Sophia asked in a worried tone.
«It's not that... we actually found a teleport for the underground, or at least we think it leads there. It's switched off at the moment but I'm sure Celeste will find a way to turn it on.»
«That's great news!» said Sophia excitedly, but after a moment she turned serious again, «What's wrong Elizabeth?! You're shaking!»
«I...»
I had decided to tell her everything right away, but now that I had her in front of me, I couldn't help but waver as usual. Sophia stood up and came close to me, putting an arm around my shoulders.
«Come on, Elizabeth. We talked about this so many times... I can see it clearly in your eyes: you saw something that really scared you,» she said, gently turning my face.
But when she closed my lips with a kiss, the relief I thought would come didn't.
"Scared... that's right, I'm scared again..."
This time it was different though. I wasn't afraid of dieing. I was scared of the pain I was about to inflict on the person I loved the most. Celeste was right, Sophia was clearly approaching her breaking point. Yesterday's outburst had almost driven her over the edge, and now I was about to push her violently in that direction once more.
"But still... I can't stop moving forward. I feel it's the right thing to do".
In a reality where my freedom was being taken away from me, the only way to realise my desire to leave this world without regret was to make my own choices and accept the consequences of them.
«Sophia... we found a secret passage in the classroom you brought me to last time. It led to a third floor.»
«A third floor... I see, I remember the Academy looking like it might have one from the outside. What did you find there?»
«A small room with three doors. Behind one was a room full of equipment. That's where we found the magic seal that's supposed to connect to the underground. Another was just a simple dining hall...»
«And the third?» Sophia squeezed my hand, sensing my hesitation.
«It was horrible, Sophia... it's almost like one of those rooms where medical students look at autopsies, except... the people they cut up in there weren't dead yet.»
Sophia didn't seem very shocked by my revelation. Sadly, we were used to the cruelty of the Academy by now.
«How do you know that's what happened?» she asked quietly, stroking my hair.
«The operating table had restraints on it... and Celeste and I found a folder full of files documenting the procedures. They were experimenting on mana Sophia.»
She pulled me closer:
«So you're afraid because you manifested that power, right? Do you think Skylark will come after you even more now? Don't worry, I won't let it happen,» she whispered in a determined voice.
I could tell from her tone that she would've split the world in two for me.
"And I need to be able to do the same for her."
«It's not that, Sophia. We found something else,» I said, pulling away from the embrace.
«You really like leaving me hanging, do you? Come on, spit it out.»
She was right. I was only worrying her more by acting like this. If I didn't have the strength to tell her, the only thing I could do was show her. I took a deep breath and pulled the copy of Alice Thornton's file out of my pocket. With shaking hands I handed it to her:
«We found the files of Aldric's classmates. This is one of them.»
Sophia took the piece of paper from me and unfolded it. Her pupils instantly dilated in shock and I saw her already pale face lose even more colour. Her eyes darted quickly to me before returning to the file. Her grip on the paper became so strong that I was afraid she would rip it.
«Sophia, I-»
I made a move to put a hand on her shoulder, but before I could, the paper actually tore off. But it hadn't been an accident.
«What a load of rubbish,» Sophia said in a scornful tone.
«Sophia, don't!»
But before I could stop her, she had already torn the file into pieces. Sophia opened her hand and they fell on the green grass.
«Don't what? Don't be ridiculous, Elizabeth. I never mentioned it because I thought it was obvious: I'm an only child like you. This is clearly something Skylark put there with the intention of making me freak out,» Sophia said with a smile as she patted me on the back.
If that was Skylark's intention, it was clearly working. As much as Sophia had tried to keep a light-hearted tone, it was obvious how much reading that stuff had shaken her to the core. I could see it clearly in her eyes, so similar to her sister's.
"Denial... I should have thought that would be her reaction."
My eyes fell to the floor, fixed on the pieces of paper. I could've left things as they were. Nothing really would've changed. The pieces would have been wiped away by a spell during the night, leaving no trace of their existence, just like Alice Thornton. If I insisted and made Sophia look at the painful truth, her heart would be probably torn to pieces like her sister's file.
"I swear I'll make you pay, Skylark," I thought, clenching my fists.
«Sophia... when Amy died, you told me it was my duty to remember her, so-»
«Shut up. Don't say another word.»
Sophia's carefree tone was gone, replaced by a dry, cold one. But in the midst of it, barely disguised but clearly audible, there were grief, pain and fear.
"I hate this."
«You have to accept it, Sophia. Just like you told me, you can't let the memory of your sister-»
«I DON'T HAVE A SISTER!»
Sophia looked like she was about to get up and run away, but I was ready for it. Before she could move, I was hugging her from behind.
«Let me go!» she complained, weakly struggling.
But as she had done for me that terrible day after the battle, I didn't let go. Instead, my grip only tightened as I began humming softly in her ear. It was the same melody she had sung to me when we had danced together under a sea of stars.
«You... are so cruel, Elizabeth...» Sophia sobbed, her resistance weakening even more.
«I am. You can blame me for it, I don't mind. But I can't let you escape from reality... or you'll lose yourself.»
«But... how can I accept this, Elizabeth? If this... if this is true... what about the rest of my past... what is real? What is false? Memories are what make us who we are... if I've been living a lie... then who am I?»
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Sophia gripped my hands with strength, almost as if she needed them to anchor herself to reality. Her question wasn't an easy one to answer. After all, if the Academy had the power to erase people's existence, what else could they do? Maybe we weren't even really here. For all we knew, we could've been trapped in a dream simulation. Maybe we weren't even real people, just some kind of organism they'd created with magic to experiment on.
If the foundations of our reality, like the reliability of our memories, were to crumble, everything could be called into question.
"But... we can't afford to think about such things."
«Sophia... are memories really all there is? Even if you don't remember her... she still had an effect on you, didn't she?»
«I...»
«All those dark spots in your memory, you still know they're there, don't you? The emptiness you feel is proof that she was there once. And that means... that song I just hummed... it was hers, surely.»
«You... you can't be sure,» Sophia said, but I could hear a hint of hope in her voice.
«You're right, I can't. But, for once, I want to believe the best. I want to believe that even though she's gone, she left you something. A sign... of her love for you.»
It was too much for Sophia, I never wanted her to cry like that, but now that she was, I was not going to leave her alone.
«It's okay Sophia, I'm here with you. Everything's going to be all right,» I whispered to her as I held her close.
It took a while for her crying to stop.
«Are you feeling better?» I asked, crawling on the grass to get in front of her.
«I told you not to look me in the face when I cry,» she complained, sniffing.
«And I said you don't have to hide. You are still very beautiful, even with your eyes all swollen!»
«Shut up...» she said as I used a handkerchief to wipe away her tears, «I still... don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this Elizabeth. I know I should feel sad since she died in here... but all I feel is fear.»
I sat down by her side, weighing her words:
«I don't think there's any right way to feel about something like this. It's so absurd... but I think it's natural for you to not feel sad... she's like a stranger to you after all.»
"How can she mourn for someone she didn't even know existed 10 minutes ago?"
«But if she really loved me like you said...»
I put my hand on top of her:
«It's okay, Sophia. Don't feel guilty about something that isn't your fault. It's Skylark's and we'll make him pay soon enough.»
I took out my wand and with a gesture, the pieces of paper on the ground flew into the air, rearranged themselves and joined together again. I took the repaired file and looked at Alice's smile before handing it to Sophia.
«Elizabeth, this...» she murmured.
«I'll help you, Sophia. When we get out of here, I'll help you find out as much as I can about her. We'll remember her together, just like Amy.»
Sophia looked me straight in the eye before a sad smile lit up her face.
«...Thank you.»
Sophia leaned against me and rested her head on my shoulder. We stood there in silence, looking at the file together.
«I wonder what kind of girl she was,» Sophia murmured after a while.
«If she was anything like you... a real piece of work.»
«Thanks a lot...» but she chuckled a bit, «she was really strong too, I'm sure. If she really is the one who taught the sickly old me the way of the sword, she was one hell of a teacher.»
«I guess that's something you took from her... thanks to you, I no longer look like an elephant in a crystal shop when I fight!»
Sophia giggled in response. I wrapped my arms around her and hugged her tighter. Somehow I had managed to calm her down. So I didn't voice the new question that had popped into my head:
"How did Alice go out? The document speaks very highly of her, even if her innate power doesn't seem to be very strong".
I would have found out. I owed it to her as the person who had been so important for my wonderful girlfriend. Sophia snuggled closer to me before she spoke again:
«I'm scared, Elizabeth.»
«So am I. I still have to tell you in detail what we found in that folder-»
«That's not what I meant.»
«Then what are you afraid of?»
«What if... I forget you?»
I turned to find Sophia's face pressed against me, preventing me from looking into her eyes. Her question was a legitimate one. We still have no idea how Skylark managed to erase the existence of the older victims of the Academy. Whatever it was, it still hadn't been done to our classmates, since I still remembered Amy clearly. We also had no idea if the power he used could work on living people. The thought that the love of my life might one day wake up with no memory of me was downright terrifying. But worrying about it wouldn't have done any good.
«Dummy!» I said, flicking her forehead with my finger.
«Hey!» Sophia complained, moving away.
She was adorable, looking at me pouting, her eyes reddened from her crying. I took the opportunity to jump on top of her.
«Elizabeth!?»
I grabbed her and began to roll across the grass. When we stopped, we were side by side, holding hands.
«You're such an overgrown child!» Sophia said with a little laugh.
«I will never let you forget me, Sophia! If I'm still alive I'll annoy you every single moment and if I'm dead I'll come back to haunt your dreams!» I said.
«Of course you will but... what if you forget me too?»
This time I was very quick to answer:
«Then we'll just have to fall in love again.»
«You make it sound easy,» Sophia replied after a second.
«It is easy! Sophia... do you believe in fate?»
«That's a good question... I don't know.»
«Neither do I. Maybe there really is a predetermined end for all of us. Maybe ours is to die together in this damn school and there's nothing we can do about it. I can't really know. But I'm sure of one thing... until that moment we can make so many choices that shape who we really are. And as for me... even if I end up losing my memory... I will always choose to fall in love with you no matter what.»
I looked at Sophia's face as she slowly turned towards me.
«That's... so corny!» she said, starting to laugh louder than before.
«And this is how my girlfriend reacts to my very romantic confessions!» I exclaimed.
I jokingly turned away, feigning irritation, but Sophia grabbed me and lifted me up into the air above her with no effort.
«Hey! I'm not your daughter, I'm your girlfriend!» I laughed.
But Sophia's eyes were damp again:
«Thank you, Elizabeth. I think if I had found out about this stuff without you by my side, I'd have definitely gone crazy. Thank you, I love you.»
She said it with such intensity that I felt myself blushing. It didn't help that she was holding me up like a child.
«I-I love you too... besides, lately you've been leaving me in the dirt, I really needed to gain some girlfriend points.»
«You've gained a lot today!» she said, lowering me down enough to kiss me.
"This kiss... in this position... it's too much!"
«Y-you're being unfair...» I mumbled as she lifted me back up.
«Well, you better start training your muscles again if you want to fight back!» Sophia chuckled.
I wanted to give her a snide reply, but I was too happy to see her smiling again.
"I managed to make this work somehow... now I can concentrate on finding a way to activate the teleport."
«We should probably go now or we'll miss breakfast, unless .... you'd rather have me instead,» I said with a mischievous grin.
«You're such an idiot,» Sophia said as she let go and laid me gently on top of her. After she did that, I rolled off and landed back on the grass, looking up at the fake sun with a big smile on my face.
«Of course I am! I'm the biggest idiot in the world, so there's no way you'll ever forget me!»
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The dining room was almost deserted. As it turned out, we had been fooling around in the courtyard for far too long.
«Should we just skip breakfast?» I asked.
«Nah... we can just be late for class. I don't think they've ever bothered to penalise people for that,» Sophia said, grabbing her tray.
We sat down at a nearby table as the last few students left the room. In the past, there would have been many more latecomers, but now that almost the entire student body had been wiped out, we were in for a lonely meal. Or so we thought.
«Liz, Sophie! So I'm not the only one having a late breakfast!» exclaimed Celeste as she made her entrance.
«Guh...»
Sophia made a strange sound that made me giggle.
«What happened, did you stay in that bathroom until now?» she asked, taking a seat at our table after grabbing her breakfast.
«What about you? Were you looking for a way to be more obnoxious than usual? Because you seemed to have succeeded,» Sophia replied.
«No,» Celeste said unfazed, dipping a biscuit into her coffee while I losing it, «I just wanted to take a nap, but ended up sleeping longer than I thought.»
«I wish you never woke up.»
«Did you tell her about the file, Liz? If you did it seems to have gone well as Sophie is as pleasant as ever,» Celeste commented unperturbed.
«Yes...I told her everything,» I replied, wiping the tears from my eyes.
«What about the others? Are you planning on telling them what happened today, even though you lied about when you were going upstairs?» asked Sophia.
«We have to tell them. Of course we can leave out the stuff about your sister and those disgusting experiments. But we have to tell them about the possible exit we found. Our time is running out. From the rankings we should be able to save Penny this week, but that’s it. On the next one we have to act,» replied Celeste, turning serious.
The inner peace I was feeling after my talk with Sophia suddenly dissipated. But it was a good thing, as Celeste had said I had no time to rest on my laurels.
«Celeste, about the traitor... if we assume there is one, who do you think it is?» I asked.
«That’s such a nasty question, Liz… but I guess it’s something we need to talk about. Honestly I don't know. The only thing I'm certain of is that I would trust you two and Philemon with my life.»
«So it’s between the other three you say?» said Sophia nodding.
«I don’t think Penny would betray us. She was willing to die for me after all,» I intervined.
«So… either Wilhelm or Nicole.»
If it was between those two, there was one person I would choose with my eyes closed.
«I… of course I don’t really suspect her but… I have to go with Nicky.»
As usual, Celeste and I had the same thought. As much as me and Wilhelm and me had clashed in the past, I had never once thought he would betray us. He seemed loyal and righteous, maybe even too much so.
Meanwhile... Nicole...
She had never struck me as a bad person either but… could I be sure about it? Even though I talked to her more than I did to Philemon and Wilhelm, I felt I didn't really know her that well. She was a funny and clever girl with a really good memory. She was also a skilled magician who, as far as I knew, had only ever lost a duel to Celeste and Philemon. That was about all I knew about her. In fact, I had never even heard her talk about herself.
"Maybe I could ask Penny if she knows more about her... but I don't want her to think I suspect one of our friends."
«I'm going to try to get closer to her,» I said after a while.
«Are you sure? If she really is the traitor, you could put her on alert,» Sophia said, giving me a nasty look.
"Of course she's right... but I can clearly see that's not why she said that! Man, she's so jealous!" I thought with a strange sense of satisfaction.
«I'll be careful. I just feel bad accusing her of something like this without proof. After all, we still can't be sure that the traitor really exists.»
«Exactly! Think positive! Let's go to class now, we'll talk to the others right after,» exclaimed Celeste as she rose from her chair.
Together with her and Sophia, I walked the corridors of the Academy, deep in thought. As much as the early hours of the day had threatened to destroy my spirits, things were starting to look up again.
Sophia was still my strong and reliable girlfriend. Celeste was our steadfast and crafty leader. And I, somehow, had managed not to make a mess as I usually did.
I entered the classroom with a rare smile. But that expression of joy immediately froze.
«This won't do. Miss Belvoir, Miss Thornton, Miss Fitzroy, class was supposed to start ten minutes ago. You students should learn to go to bed early when we are so close to graduation.»
Hate and despair were the only emotions left in me as I looked at Skylark's mocking grin.