Pushing Lunia out of my room, I sighed.
I slumped down at the desk, and rested my face in my hands, before reading the guide over again for anything I might’ve missed.
But nothing. There was nothing in the guide explaining why I was unable to store mana.
Even still, I looked it over again.
Still, nothing.
Even so, again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
Again.
No matter how many times I flipped through the book, going from cover to cover, intently scanning each page from top to bottom, I found nothing.
Mental fortitude worn down from fatigue, tears began to pool. Forcefully blinking my eyes, I looked away, to the world outside, where the airship was beginning to descend from the sky.
Rubbing my brow from drowsiness, the sheer indifference of the world hit me all at once; a boiling hot, impotent rage began to bubble up inside of me and my skin began to itch, a million tiny creatures invisible to the naked eye crawling all over my body, and sinking their fangs into me.
Feeling as if the room was gradually growing hotter and hotter, and the itching sensation only growing worse, I began to unconsciously scratch myself, frantically combing my brain for any way to progress past the seemingly insurmountable obstacle before me.
My rage reaching a precipice, my fingers breaking my skin, and my body beginning to bleed scarlet red, a burst of inspiration suddenly hit me, and I shot up and ran out of the room, not even closing the door behind me.
Entering the common area, I was greeted by Lunia, sitting down, and not yet out exploring whatever city we were in.
Too exhausted and perturbed to acknowledge her, I stood in front of Thalric.
“Help me,” I requested, with the most humble, subservient voice I could muster.
With an expression of faint curiosity,
“Lunia, you have a bead, correct?” he turned and asked, Lunia pulling out, and proudly showing off a hollow glass marble.
“Good,” Thalric nodded, “And please, exhibit a little restraint? Impulsively spending money is a bad habit to have.”
Sheepishly nodding, Lunia looked down, continuing to scarf down the food on her plate.
Thalric, having followed me back to my room, shut the door behind him, and turned to me.
“How may I be of service?” he asked.
Taking a deep breath, I handed over the beginners guide to mana over to him, and explained my situation, starting from how I was able to absorb mana into my channels, but when I tried to transfer the mana to my central nub, nothing happened, and my stone remained empty.
Cursorily thumbing through the guide, Thalric looked up, and smiled.
“Who the hell wrote this?” he cheerfully questioned, “This is completely wrong,”
Pausing briefly, “Actually, wrong is a very strong word,” he corrected, “More like, doesn’t quite grasp the complete picture.”
Thalric placed the guide back onto my desk.
“Tell me, when you were in the soul plane, the sky held hundreds, if not thousands of blue and black strings, correct?”
Seeing me nod in confirmation, he continued,
“Those are representations of your physical channels, which you know, as this guide at least got that right, but what it fails to mention, is that those black strings are able to be completely restored, and your blue channels are able to be further refined, and made to conduct mana better.”
Confused, "How will that solve my problem?” I asked.
Hearing my question, “Your issue stems from the aforementioned mana channels,” he replied, “Currently, you are completely unable to store mana in your black channels, which isn’t all that uncommon, but the few functional strings you do possess have very low mana conductivity, which is incredibly abnormal, considering the fact that you have the potential to form the 5th star.”
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Pausing, he briefly chanted, before placing 2 fingers onto my wrist, where my veins were visible.
“Say you absorb 10 units of mana. A normal, completely average person, when they're starting off, will send that mana into their nub, and be able to store 2, maybe 3 units if they’re lucky, the rest being lost. You, for some reason, store even less than that average person, probably only around a tenth of a unit from what I’m sensing.”
“Then how do I make my channels normal?” I frantically asked.
“Send mana into your dormant channels with your active channels, and they’ll be restored,” he immediately answered, “It will be an incredibly painful process, to the point where you’ll wish you were dead, but it’s something you’ll have to do if you want to become a mage. After that, all you’ll have to do is constantly use your mana channels, and they’ll naturally be purified, with you being able to store more of the gathered mana as a result.”
Thalric began to leave my room, having answered all of my questions, when he suddenly turned back around, as if he had just remembered something he had neglected to mention to me.
“After you channel mana into your black strings, the impurities preventing them from being mana conductive will be forced out," he stated, "but those impurities will be excreted through your pores, so go take a shower. And maybe rest your eyes while you're at it. You already look and smell terrible."
As Thalric left my room, I lowered my head, and sniffed my armpit, immediately recoiling in disgust.
He was right, I smelled like dried, sour sweat.
About to do as Thalric suggested and go to the public washroom, at the last moment, I decided against it.
What was personal hygiene when a new path to cultivate had opened up right in front of me?
Still, I preferred sleeping in a clean bed, and as such, I sat on the floor instead of on the mattress.
Closing my eyes, I returned to the soul plane, and began to absorb atmospheric mana into my active mana channels.
Completely filled with mana, and identifying the points at which the blue strings connected to the dead channels, I began to channel mana to the black strings. As the mana followed my will, I observed how the strings’ lights faintly undulated at the same rhythm as I breathed.
Somehow I had missed that.
Abruptly, as soon as mana began to enter the dead channels, a faint stabbing sensation began to radiate from the tips of my fingers.
It was as if a needle was being inserted underneath each of my fingernails, each one stabbing forward underneath my skin, and running up my arm, before eventually branching off all over, such that no part of my body was free from pain.
This was what Thalric must have meant by painful to the point I would wish I was dead.
Channeling mana into my dead strings hurt, to the point where I felt as if I had never been truly hurt before after experiencing the sensation, and I had to agree with Thalric that being dead seemed to be a better option than to continue for even 1 minute longer.
Still, I endured.
I felt as if it would all be worth it, as long as I was able to make some progress.
And so, I continued on, staying seated on the ground, channeling mana into my black strings.
***
Lunia skipped down one of the airship’s many hallways, faintly humming a tune and carrying a bag of goodies she had purchased in the city.
Though, they weren’t for her; they were for Sol.
Earlier in the day, when she had burst into his room, Lunia immediately noticed that something was off about him.
From the way there were faint bags underneath his eyes, even to the way he spoke, previously so calm and patient, had transformed to become grumpy and frantic.
Something was obviously troubling him.
Lunia didn’t know what that something was, but even still, she bought presents for him with only some of the money Thalric gave (after all, he said not to spend it all), in the hopes that it would make him feel better.
After all, he was her first friend, even if he could be a little scary sometimes.
Opening and looking into the paper bag, she had bought him a metal key puzzle thing, a joke book, and a sculpture of a monster, carved from wood.
At the sight of Sol’s presents, Lunia nodded her head, mentally congratulating herself on just how good of a gift giver she was, before continuing on down the hall.
Reaching Sol’s door, Lunia knocked three times, and waited.
Still, he didn’t answer.
Tapping her foot on the ground, Lunia knocked again, and once again, he didn’t answer.
Impatient and feeling the slightest bit of worry that something might’ve happened, Lunia cracked open the door, immediately being met with the scent of sweat, and blood.
Immediately slamming the door open, the sour, metallic smell in the air only grew stronger, the source of which seemed to be a boy with long, black hair sitting on the floor.
Shrouded in darkness, Sol sat on the wood floor, blankly staring forward at nothing.
At the loud noise of the door hitting the wall, the boy toppled over in a panic, before shooting back up, warily scanning his surroundings with a look of confusion.
Dropping the bag of gifts, Lunia rushed forward to make sure Sol was okay, but the boy was quicker, immediately jumping up and running to Lunia.
With blood, sweat, and some unknown black ooze all over his body, Sol held Lunia’s hands.
“I’ve done it,” he whispered, an expression of earnest, childlike joy etched onto his face, “FUCK,” he screamed from the top of his lungs, beginning to jump around in excitement, dragging Lunia with him, “I’ve done it,” he repeated, an innocent laugh that exuded warmth escaping his throat.
Dirt, grime, and blood covered Sol’s pallor skin, his cheeks were sunken-in, and his eyes were tired, and baggy, yet nothing could obscure the raw, almost blinding radiance his toothy smile generated.
Lunia hadn’t ever seen such an expression on Sol before, and for just a moment, she thought that he had to have been descended from a god he was so beautiful.
Letting go of Lunia, Sol jumped back onto his bed, spread eagle, before sighing in exhaustion, and closing his eyes.
“Boy,” Thalric suddenly sighed from the doorway, “I told you to mind the impurities.”
Sitting up and looking down at his bed, the impurities, sweat, and blood had completely seeped into the mattress itself, but Sol grinned ear to ear, too happy to care.
“Come on,” Thalric approached Sol, “Take a bath, you can sleep in my bed tonight, I'll take the floor.”
“He can room with me,” Lunia hesitantly raised her hand.
She didn’t know why she suddenly spoke up. It was a decision borne from an unexplainable, uncontrollable compulsion. But even so, for some strange reason, she felt no regret.