“How are we going to eat thirty meals?” Brando asked from the bathtub next to Fin. “I know you said you could eat a lot, but I’ll probably only be able to help you with three of those.”

“I have 9 basic stat points. The last time I used one, I ate about a week’s worth of food,” Fin recalled. “I should be fine.”

“I don’t know what you’re saying, but if you can eat food like you can crush rocks, I’m with you. Can you pass me the soap?”

After a while, the two stepped out of their black bath water and into the two others that were prepared for them.

When Brando noticed Fin rinsing the rest of the dirt out of his mouth, he asked, “So eating dirt didn’t work?”

Fin glared.

“Hey, at least you tried it, though,” Brando pretended not to notice by cleaning his fingernails. “We have to try everything, you know? Anyway, I don’t know what you’re going to do while you wait for dinner, but I’m going to take a nap.”

“I think I will, too. All that cider on an empty stomach has made me kind of sleepy,” Fin leaned back in his tub and closed his eyes.

“Don’t fall asleep now,” Brando warned. “Normally, I would say that taking a nap in the bathtub is ideal, but there are warm beds up there, just waiting for us.”

His eyes snapped open. “You’re right. Warm beds await.”

When Fin awoke to a knock at the door, it took him a moment to realize where he was. When he heard the innkeeper informing Brando that dinner was ready, he realized it wasn’t a knock at his door that woke him up in the first place. His suspicions were confirmed when a louder knock followed by a similar message was delivered to him.

He stretched out on his bed, basking in the comfort of it. If he wasn’t as hungry, he might stay where he was. A notification blinked in his vision, and he was pleased with what he saw.

* Sovereign Quest Complete: Escape with your life and find a safe haven. +1 level, +1 Wisdom, +1 basic stat point, +1 gold stat point.

* Ability Unlocked: Discern Magic.

He got out of bed and opened the door. Facing him from across the hallway, Brando stood looking as disheveled as ever. Bloodshot eyes, wild hair, and slight sway to his stance told Fin that Brando might regret his earlier choices.

"Are you alright?" Fin asked, understanding all too well the effects of cider.

"I don't feel as bad as I could, all things considered," Brando said, staggering through his door. "As soon as I have some food, I'll be fine."

"I completed my escape quest finally and reached level five," Fin bragged as he led the way down the stairs. "I wonder if there's one for getting captured a second time."

"Don't even joke about that," Brando said, gripping the handrails as he carefully climbed down each step. At the bottom of the staircase, the sight stopped both men dead in their tracks.

Tables filled with trays of food waited for them on large serving plates. Shrines dedicated to poultry, wild game, and bore decorated each table like spires on a temple. Steam from bowls of mashed, fried, and baked potatoes mingled with that of cabbage, carrots, and cauliflower. Gravies and sauces consorted with jams and glazes. Sliced loaves of bread sat next to blocks of cheese. Large knives stretched between serving spoons and smaller cutlery. Baskets of fruit decorated each table like the jewels in a royal crown.

"I hope you don't mind, but since we are having such esteemed guests such as yourselves, I took it upon myself to lend the aid of my kitchens and staff," the corpulent mercer said from in front of three serving assignees. "I also brought the town constable to ensure that both parties have equal representation."

"Don't mind me," a bulky man said from behind a tray of venison. "I'm just here to ensure a peaceful transaction."

"Please," Eugal gestured to two empty chairs. "If you're ready?"

When Fin and Brando took a seat, they were immediately greeted with a massive plate of food, a smaller plate with bread and cheese, and a mug of ale.

"I'm sure you understand that the ale is part of the meal," Eugal said with eyes all but laughing. "But you already knew that when you ordered thirty of them."

Brando looked at Fin for a sign of confidence and was not let down.

"I'm sure that won't be a problem," Fin winked at the man. "Before we begin, I would ask Brother Brando to give a prayer for Frome's blessings?"

Eugal's fork paused halfway to his mouth, a thick slab of pork dripping onto his plate. He lowered his first bite back and adopted an impatient posture.

"Uh, sure," Brando steepled his fingers and then orated the first approximation to prayer he had ever given. "When water is needed, who will be there on the rain cloud? Who can sway the trees or garden the gardens? Why Frome can, of course. And since trees and gardens all have one thing in common, we can all join in together to pluck the weeds together. That is unless weeds are a good thing in this case. Because even the weeds are a part of the circle of life. Frome wants weeds? He can have them, and we can all figure it out as we go along. Together."

Peaking up, Brando noticed that even though his prayer was over, everyone's eyes were still closed, so he added, "Let's eat!" for good measure.

"That was quite the, uh, prayer." Eugal adjusted a large cloth napkin around the front of his collar. "I was under the impression that you two were miners. Come to find you are also pilgrims? You are indeed honored guests this evening."

By the time Eugal was finished talking, Fin and Brando's mouths were full. All they were able to do was nod and grunt in the affirmative.

Eugal eyed them suspiciously but then found himself lost in the pleasure of the meal. When he finished his first plate, a server replaced it with a second.

Brando set his fork on the empty plate in front of him. "This is as far as I go, I think. My appetite must have shrunk somewhere on our journey. I'll help out when I can, but I think this is in Frome's gardening hands now."

A server approached to remove Brando's plate, but Fin stopped him. "Can you move the basket of fruit from the middle of the table and place our empty dishes there, please?"

The server bowed and pointed at the fruit for another server to whisk away. He then stacked two plates in the empty space.

"This is so I can keep track of how I'm doing," Fin explained, accepting a second plate in front of him.

"Confident until the bitter end!" Eugal praised. "I applaud your gumption."

Fin put one stat into strength and smiled. "I should be the one applauding your staff. That was a delicious first course." He dug in.

When Fin had finished his second plate, he waved for the servers to hurry with the third, causing Eugal to lift an uncertain eyebrow. The stack of plates in the middle of the table increased to three.

Brando leaned back in his chair and sipped his ale. "This is a delicious brew. Where did it come from?"

Eugal shifted his eyes between the two, not wanting to miss out on Fin's defeat. "I pick up several casks every time I'm in Clive Rae. I usually keep them for myself, but seeing as Felix needed to provide for you two, I donated a cask. It's unfortunate you will probably be too full to enjoy more than a taste of it."

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

A fourth plate added itself among the numbers. Fin drained his mug and held it up for a refill, "How are we keeping track of the ale?"

"Altogether, you are at three," The constable's voice materialized from his inconspicuous perch.

"I don't think there's very much room left for it right now." Brando finished his mug and held it up. "But I would be remiss not to take advantage of your private supply so graciously donated."

Fin snatched the last bite of potato from his plate before the server could remove it and stack it on top of the four others. The servers rushed around each other in a chaotic scramble missing collisions by a hair's breadth with each passing. Fin took small sips of his ale while he waited for his food. Eugal watched with a half-buttered slice of bread frozen between his plate and his gaping mouth.

By the eighth empty plate, Fin was starting to feel full. He upgraded his strength again and felt the comfort in his stomach return, followed by the discomfort of hunger. He dug in with renewed vigor, adding two plates at a time to the stack when the servers started doubling up.

"This is impossible! How does someone consume that much food?" Eugal nearly shouted.

Noticing Fin's preoccupation, Brando spoke for him, "Frome's fruits are plentiful."

Before Fin upgraded his strength again, he took a brief respite from dinner to stretch out. Feeling his muscles become even more tight and dense, he worked intensely to loosen up. He was surprised to find he didn't feel intoxicated. He must have consumed five ales with his fourteen empty plates on top of Brando's one.

Eugal let out a massive sigh of relief. "I have to hand it to you. I didn't expect you to get even this far. I was getting worried there for a second."

"Oh, were you?" Fin had his arm bent behind his head, and he was tugging on his elbow, stretching out the muscles in his arm.

"Yeah, this meal cost me a small fortune, but for twenty coins a gem, I'm still going to make out like a bandit, so to speak." Eugal's smile returned. "As it stands, you've more than exceeded expectations. It wasn't as good of a deal as I thought it was going to be, but I still turned over at least eight keystones, maybe more."

"What's a keystone?" Brando asked.

"It's how merchants set their prices," Eugal explained, leaning back in his chair. "If I buy a trinket from you for a silver piece and then turn around and sell it for two silver pieces, I've turned a keystone."

"We ate fifteen plates of food, and you're still making eight times what you paid us for the gems?" Brando asked.

"Approximately. We can settle up whenever you say the word, but for the most part, yes. Since the price has already been agreed upon, you can't go back on it now," Eugal pointed to the silent constable, "Hence why he's here to ensure both parties adhere to our previously set terms."

"That seems a little cutthroat," Fin pointed out, "How many keystones if we only ate one plate each?"

"Who's to say? Are you sure you're not still hungry?" Eugal laughed and wiped the sweat from his brow.

Fin swung his arms back and forth. "I just assumed your servers stopped bringing me food so you could talk. I never said I was done."

One of the servers straightened his back and quickly set another plate in front of Fin. To Eugal's pure astonishment, Fin started eating as if he had just sat down at the table.

Brando hid his own astonishment. Fin had told him about his appetite, but seeing it in person was nothing short of miraculous. He gestured for the men to replace Fin's cloth napkin and fill his cup.

Plate after plate added onto the wobbling pile in front of him as Fin devoured a feast made for a village. Between dishes, Fin flexed his arm and motioned for Brando to feel it. Brando reached out and squeezed his bicep. It was like squeezing a bent iron rod. He had allocated five basic stat points to strength and could already notice the difference.

"Eugal, what were you going to do with all this food when we inevitably didn't eat it all?" Fin asked, wiping his mouth with his third cloth napkin. "I mean, it's a lot of food to just throw away."

Distracted by his thoughts, Eugal turned to Fin before the question registered in his short-term memory. "Oh, um. Sell it to the townsfolk. Why?"

"Because I lost track for a while, I believe that's over thirty," Fin waved his hand towards the towering piles of plates and leaned back in his chair, patting his stomach.

"Thirty-nine," The constable said from the back of the room.

"I am impressed," the mercer declared. "But a deal is a deal, and since you've only finished 10 mugs of ale between the two of you, that counts for twenty unfinished meals. I hope you have enough gems to sell me at the agreed-upon price of twenty each. It's okay. We can do business whenever you're ready."

"Let me get this straight, we've eaten thirty-nine plates of food, but you're only going to count ten because we didn't drink enough?" Brando made a disapproving face.

"As I stated before the meal, the ale counts as part of the dinner." Eugal tore the cloth napkin off his neck. "As you are unable to consume twenty ales at six coins a meal, I will take the six gems you owe me and use one of them to repopulate my food stores."

"Will someone please bring whatever ale that is required to put this man at ease?" Fin asked the servers. "You guys are doing a great job, by the way."

Servers with mugs of ale lined up in front of Fin. When the servers were given empties, they filled them and returned to the back of the line.

Fin started feeling the effects of the alcohol by the third, but he pressed through. When it seemed that he was full again, he put another stat point into strength, and his stomach immediately made room for more. He was surprised to notice his head clear up as well. It was as if the effects of the ale got digested along with everything else.

"Constable, can you keep us updated on the count?" Brando directed his question toward the back of the room.

"Fourteen."

"Fifteen."

"Sixteen."

At twenty, Fin decided to allocate a basic stat point towards dexterity.

"Twenty-five."

"Twenty-six."

Seeing the determination on Fin's face, Eugal tried to break him. "I hope you're saving room for dessert."

"Dessert wasn't part of the deal," Brando protested. "We ordered thirty meals."

"And a meal comes with dessert," Eugal stated.

"Twenty-seven."

"Twenty-eight."

Fin looked up and saw something unexpected, a new notification. He pulled it up and squinted to read it.

* Affinity Quest Complete: Water (1 of 5): Liquid diet: Allocate a basic stat point using a liquid-based meal. +1 Breath ability.

* Passive Ability: Hydro Lung – Locked until Water Affinity is realized.

“Hey, if you had a passive ability called Hydro Lung, does that mean you can breathe underwater?” Fin asked the table with a wobble to his head.

Brando, watching Fin squint off into space, knew that he was both drunk and that he unlocked a new quest. He immediately covered for him, “I think I can take the next couple of ales.”

The server placed a full mug before Brando and removed the empty one. Brando drained its contents, causing the constable to announce, “Twenty-nine.” When he finished the final mug, he asked for one more to enjoy at his own pace.

“thirty.”