Disneyland (2)

1

His second impression was not much better than the first.

Lines. He had to queue behind a bunch of noisy humans who seemed to be quite behind, having not discovered running water, or even the simple pleasure of diving into the nearest river.

If not because he could hypnotize them to let him pass sooner or later he would have started a massacre, he would not have managed to get to the end of the line.

He seriously doubted that anyone would like to do anything, but not everyone was as well equipped to massacre everyone they came across.

Well, that strange system of torture was to earn the right to move in huge cups, not for tea (unless you liked it too much and wanted to die), which were spinning and spinning. That was all, they didn't even move from the spot.

However, he hated to admit it, but he had to pretend he wasn't having fun. And hold back the urge to raise his arms like humans did, while making incomprehensible sounds.

He supposed he could come to understand the point of all this, although he hoped "the mad cups" were not the greatest pleasure to be found in this place, because then he would be disappointed anyway. That internet had made it sound like some kind of paradise on Earth.

Though... It's not like he was into paradise. He was the Prince of Darkness, not a cuddly bear that went around giving hugs and goodies.

In any case, when the cups stopped spinning and people started getting off to let the next ones in line pass, Dracula had to resist with great effort to ride again.

And, of course, hypnotize the right people to skip the line and not pay again.

He had no modern money. He was poor, but what was the point of being poor or rich in a world where everything was free for you?

The next attraction he tested was the roller coaster. The line was significantly larger, so he hoped that was a sign that it was a better attraction and not just that these fools had been waiting too long to let someone else take their turn and go blow off some steam.

In short, he didn't like it.

It went up and down, and one would think that was better than spinning all the time for the stomach, but actually no. Somehow he managed to hold on for the whole ride (he wasn't going to transform into a bat and flee from there if mere humans could withstand it), but as soon as he stepped on solid ground again he ended up vomiting.

There were looks of disgust, understandable.

But one found it funny, he laughed like a child.

Dracula memorized his face and followed him through the park until the perfect opportunity presented itself. Then he dragged him into the bushes, slit his throat and buried his body deep underground so that they wouldn't discover him so quickly and close the park, even if only for a few hours.

The show and fun had to go on.

Anyway, as they said in his time and these (probably), who laughs last laughs best. And boy did Dracula go from there laughing to another part. And with a full stomach.

By another part he meant another part inside Disneyland, of course. He wasn't going to let an idiot spoil his fun. If he let idiots influence him too much, he would have turned around to go home before even getting to the door.

He looked for a third attraction to try.

One caught his eye and killed it just as quickly. He didn't know what it was called, but it looked like a version of the roller coaster (whoever the Russians were, they must have been very evil to have invented such a deadly trap) with only the parts of going up and down.

No straight lines, no brief periods of rest in hell. No way, he wouldn't ride there not even crazy.

Not even the humans riding right now were having fun, but were screaming as if they had seen his army approaching, so numerous that they darkened the horizon. Or as if he had stuck a stake up each one's ass.

Unlawfully taken from Royal Road, this story should be reported if seen on Amazon.

By the way, it had been nothing more than a whim during the mid-eternity crisis, but after that the damn humans hadn't stopped calling him the Impaler.

He could disembowel and skin thousands of people, and they didn't call him the Ripper or something like that, but if he impaled a couple of dozen by the ass, voila, he was stuck with Impaler for life.

Humans were strange and frustrating.

The strangest thing of all was that, despite that, the attraction also had a considerable line...

He wouldn't understand humans as long as he lived. He left them with their fun, if you could call it that, and resumed the search.

He stumbled upon a supposed Haunted Mansion. He was going to walk by since it looked too much like the life he was used to in the castle, but then he told himself at least he would try it once. What was the worst that could happen?

Well, for starters the mansion wasn't even haunted. There were no ghosts, vampires or even dragons. Just humans dressed up as all kinds of monsters.

It was a slightly grotesque spectacle. He supposed he now understood how they felt when he went around using the heads of their loved ones as glove puppets. More or less, it's not like he had loved ones or couldn't replace any fallen soldier with ten other monsters just as ugly and just as replaceable. But he got a slight idea.

Secondly, it wouldn't scare anyone to death. In fact, there were more kisses than screams (none), and the only terrifying thing about that was where the other person's mouth could have been.

He hadn't paid a silver coin for this, but he still felt cheated.

The humans who had made the tour with him had enjoyed it immensely, however, as he had already said. Maybe that was the real purpose of this place. A dark place to fuck with your partner in peace. It made sense, although that didn't appeal to him too much right now, so it was no good to him.

Oh well, nobody was born knowing and less someone who had spent the last thousand years sleeping a long nap. He had to learn little by little, adapt to the times that ran.

Any mistake that didn't kill him was worth it, was actually a learning opportunity, nothing more.

So the next time he would lure or hypnotize a human to be his sexual slave he would make sure to look for a convenient Haunted Mansion around. Humans reproduced like rabbits or weeds, no matter how many he pulled out, they never stopped coming out. So for the sake of reproduction, there should be one of those mansions everywhere.

Yes, later. He would put it to the test later.

Sure, I can translate that for you. The text says:

Dracula was only surprised once (it wasn't the same as being scared, although many filmmakers working on horror movies didn't seem to understand the difference) near the end of the guided tour when another guy with a white sheet over him approached.

The irritation of the surprise and the idea that the person under that sheet was laughing at him made him stay behind, waiting for the other customers to leave the building, to snap his fingers and make him explode like a piñata of dark gifts.

An absurdly high or childlike voice cut the air as soon as he left the cursed but not enchanted place.

"Mama, they've killed Casper!"

Who the hell was Casper?

Well, it wasn't his business, but if there was some maniac killing people around there, he would have to be careful not to ruin his party. The mansion hadn't enchanted him, but he felt much better after blowing up that piece of shit wrapped in a sheet, the crazy cups were good, and he still had a lot of castles, or amusement parks, to explore.

Deep down life is beautiful.

Very, very deep down, but well, if you try hard you find it.

2

"I wish I hadn't been born," said Justin.

The first time it had broken their hearts. After hearing it so many times in one day they just wanted to break his neck. Or maybe it's me, Damien thought, trying to get his irritation under control.

He understood why he was like this.

It didn't make it much easier to bear, but he understood.

He figured consoling him at least gave them something to do. Yes, the real problem was that monster, but it was hard not to notice that they couldn't do anything about it. That no matter how much they thought about it, their hands were tied. If they had ever had a chance to get out of this, it had been before entering Justin's apartment.

Justin knew it better than anyone. That's precisely why he was like this.

A vicious circle.

Or something like that.

Anyway, they were screwed either way, he called it what he called it. Screwed to the core.

While patting Justin, Damien just felt like throwing up from stress.

Life was a war you were destined to lose.

Life was misery and pain.

3

"A child has disappeared, his name is..."

Dracula got bored quickly, but he paid attention again. Wouldn't it be another attraction? Why else make such a fuss about one missing child when a couple of dozen died every winter?

He didn't see anyone leaving in search of what's his name, but all the better.

Some fun without having to endure queues and humans that stank almost as much as noise they made.

At least it was worth a try.

What was the worst that could happen?

Disneyland (2): FIN