It started, as all terrrible things do, on a Wednesday.

*Beep...Beep...Beep....Beep...Beep

"huhuhhhhuhmphhphmphhh"

*Bee..

I can say safely I am not a morning person, in fact I can say the same for my dog, my cat, and my 2 goldfish. However....it's either wake up at 7 in the morning stumble downstairs and go for a light jog down the gravel road and back and hit the weights.....or sleep in till 9 like the fluffy mashmellow I am.

Naturally my fluffnes takes a bit of motivation that's where Sally comes in, at 3 years old the 20lb Beagle is already running around my feet and dashing towards the front door by the time I manage to rub the grit outta my eyes.

"Damn dog, at least wait for me to get a quick drink sheesh."

The jog takes 30 minutes and then going through the sets for today takes another 45 minutes. When it's all said and done the clock reads 8:45 and I'm in the kitchen working the old gas-oven cooking up some eggs and bacon. It was right around the 6th bite or so when...

  HARK FOR I AM THE LORD GOD

"ehhhhh?"

Humanity has not met expected standards for a higher-order species during the alotted time.

"What? WHaT?WHAT?HOldon a minute but...what"

As such it has been decided Humanity will be redesignated as a lower-order species.

*pinches self

"OW, mother-of....."

To this end humanity will be reincarnated to a lower-order realm while the plant 'Earth' is properly rededicated for its new host species. However I am not without mercy. So you shall be given a lottery as reparations for you loss both 'Wheel' will grant something of benefit. However if the benefit is too great it shall also come with 'Woe' a detrement to offset the good fortune a touch.

"And do you personally Derrick Readings....I heard that."

So blue-boxes appeard out of nowhere and now they're talking to me

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road. If you spot it on Amazon, please report it.

"Absolutley fantastic."

There is one slight catch though....you all need to die....so..yea....Enjoy

"TAKE IT AWAY LUCY"

I looked at Sally..she looked at me....I looked at the sky...it started laughing....I laughed...and than a scythe extended from Sally's mouth.

I want to say I fought back. I want to say that it was a contest of strength never to be repeated in the annals of men. I want to say I didn't sqeak like mouse....a fluffy mouse....but I can't say that because as soon as my 3 year old beagle unhinged her lower jaw enough for a magical farming implemment to pop through. I dropped off the chair meeped and ran like Forest Gump was my spirit animal.

"Holy shit, holy shit HOLY SHIT hoooooollly shittt."

*RAWWWRS

*MEEEEEPP

*Sqelch

So what did we learn today class....that's right running from a four-legged-animal weilding an edged weapon is ineffectual as it'll just chase you down, cut your legs off, and you'll die in a pool of gunk.

So yea the first swing took out my legs. The second I tried to block with my arm, bad decision that, the third and fourth finished the job along with my right arm. The fifth went for my throat and ended up in my eye socket. The sixth is what did it....a nice lead up, solid hit, and good follow through made sure that the front 2/3 rds of my neck simply ceased to be.

Oh you may be wondering about the sky. Well you see a gian scar ran through the middle of the sky and long tendrils were swooping down to drag off innocent people. People like me. So now that I've been incapacitated by my dog I was picked up, and dragged of into the sky whilst losing conscious. The last look I had of my world was my dog lifting one paw and saluting the sky while a giant scythe hung extended from here mouth.

----------------------------------------

Congratulations You Died

"Oh joy"

The instant my eyes closed, they opened, not to the hellish landscape of earth being devoured by a gaping mouth but to a room filled with annoyingly white tiles and an infinite expanse of white sky.

Would you like to spin the wheel of fate?

>Yes

>Yes but in purple

*Chuckles

"Alright I'll take yes but in purple for 2000 Alex."

Spinning...Spinning...

Congratulations

Wheel: [Change Blood of Human to Blood of The Emperion Phoenix] The Blood of the Emperor Phoenix is a rare substance that is used by mages to cook up the fabled elixr of immortality. Each day when you would die instead your body becomes ash and cinders drifing in the breeze to be taken back to your nest where at the zenith of day in the light of the sun you spring forth uninjured and at the prime of their youth.

Woe: [Locked Starting World: Pyre] Your starting world is that of Pyre a tomb world where none but the dead roam, even the gods gave up on this world.

"Welp I guess that's that, the blood's kinda neat. I guess this is goodbye then."

See ya later Alligator

"In a while Crocodile."

And the world went black.