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Down to Rest
You Make Me Nervous

You Make Me Nervous

The rooster crowed at the break of dawn.

Saturday.

Kylee groaned to herself. That meant two things. First, Price was going to the beach today. Second, Bill would be home all day.

She had no desire to spend any time around her stepfather. Throwing herself from the bed, Kylee raced to the bathroom. She locked the door and ran through her quick shower. Five minutes. That was about how much time she had before Bill yelled about using up the water.

Kylee shivered as she wrapped the towel around her dripping body. September heralded the end of summer, and while the days were still warm, mornings were cooling off.

She managed to slip outside unnoticed. Kylee put the eggs in the basket, scraping off chicken feed and feathers stuck to the outsides of the blue-speckled shells. She headed back, swinging the basket gently.

Kylee stopped and studied the vacant parking spot in front of her house. Where was Bill’s car? Just the rusty pick-up decorated the overgrown yard.

A tan SUV with dirt along the hubcaps blew down the road and pulled into Price’s driveway. The horn sounded twice, and Price appeared in the doorway. He jumped down the porch steps two at a time and ran toward the car, a beach towel slung over one shoulder, his flip flops slapping with each step.

“Come on!” someone shouted through the open window, and laughter and jeers followed.

“Coming!” Price responded, his teeth flashing behind an excited grin. He disappeared inside the car, and then the vehicle backed up and roared away as quickly as it had come.

Kylee tried not to imagine how much fun they’d have.

Why did she care? She wasn’t a part of their group. She never had been.

She slipped into the house and started washing the eggs in the kitchen sink. “Hi, Mom.” Setting the clean eggs on a dish towel to dry, she turned toward her mother. “Where’s Bill? Is he working weekends now?”

Kylee waited a moment, and then pressed for a response. “Well?”

Her mom began to hum, the same tuneless melody as always.

Like I’m not here, Kylee thought. She tiptoed down the hall into her room.

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Kylee didn’t want to face her mother again and the ominous silence that passed for conversation between them. She snuck out the window, book tucked under her arm.

YYY

Kylee hid out at her favorite hollowed out tree trunk until she could no longer ignore the growlings of her stomach.

Still no sign of Bill. The house remained silent, no yelling or crashing things or TV turned up too high. Kylee shoved out of her tree trunk and headed home.

She bypassed her window and entered through the front door. Her mom sat at the kitchen table, her eyes glazed over as she stared at the wall.

Kylee opened the fridge and pulled out an egg.

Theresa opened the front door and stepped outside without speaking to Kylee.

Unhappiness burrowed in her chest like a sinkhole. She hugged her elbows. Her fingers brushed the edges of the big, jagged scar on her inner arm. The urge to slip into her room and add a few neighboring cuts almost overwhelmed her. Kylee gripped the edge of the table, willing herself to go outside like her mom.

A cool breeze blew the hair around her face as soon as she opened the door. That was all she needed to clear her head.

Only after she’d sat down on top of her decaying log, kicked her shoes off, and started to relax did she realize she’d left her book on the kitchen table.

Kylee leaned back on her elbows. The tree bark dug into her skin. She closed her eyes, relishing the clarity it brought to her mind.

She opened her eyes and lifted her head. The sun had changed positions, shining down through the leaves from a different angle. It felt like she’d closed her eyes for a second, but hours had passed.

Which meant one thing: Price must be home from the beach.

Kylee sprang from the tree and jogged out of the forest. Sure enough, Price climbed out of the car, still wearing his navy blue swimming trunks. His light brown hair stuck out at odd angles, thanks to a combination of sand and salt water. He fist-bumped the other kids in the car, oblivious to Kylee as she leaned on the fence and watched them.

He backed away from the SUV and waved, a smile pasted on his face. The car revved and backed down the long driveway. As it disappeared into a cloud of dust, Price dropped his hand, the grin fading.

Kylee pressed her hands around the tops of the wooden poles. She debated whether to call out to him, but before she could, he spotted her. He stumbled backward, tripping over his feet.

“Where’d you come from?” he said. He approached the fence.

“Hey,” Kylee greeted, resting her chin on one hand, her cheek smashed against the wood. “You were too busy with your friends to notice me. You know, the ones you didn’t want to ask if I could come?”

Price’s eyes shifted to the right, and he chewed on his inner cheek. “Listen, I’m sorry I didn’t invite you. It wasn’t my thing.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Kylee pushed off the fence. “I get it.”

“No, you don’t.” Price took a step closer. “It wasn’t about you, okay? I’m the new guy. I can’t be inviting other people along.”

“Especially not me.”

He rolled his eyes. “Listen. I couldn’t bring you. Not today. But . . .” he hesitated. “Maybe you could come with me next Saturday. Just you.”

Lordy, keep calm, she told herself. “To the beach?”

“Yeah.” He glanced behind him for a moment and then looked back at her, squinting against the sun. “Listen, I’m gonna be honest. I’m a little . . . nervous around you.”

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