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Rewind

“What the heck?” Kylee murmured. Her fingers closed around the strands of hair, and she gave them a good tug before letting go. She shoved open her door and ran into the bathroom.

Her boring, ordinary reflection stared back at her. The limp blond hair lay against her shoulder blades and continued halfway down her back, just like yesterday before she cut it.

“This makes no sense,” Kylee whispered. Had she imagined it? Was she going crazy? But no, the beanie had been on her bed. Proof she slept with it.

Which didn’t mean she wasn’t crazy. Perhaps she’d imagined cutting her hair and put the hat on to hide something that hadn’t happened.

The idea was alarming. Kylee put her hair into a long braid and tried to be grateful she still had it.

She planned her outside errands carefully. She gathered the chicken eggs at the same time the bus arrived to pick up kids for school. She hovered near the edge of the yard, the basket of eggs in the crook of her elbow. Standing on tiptoes, she tried to catch Price’s eye. If he saw her standing there waving, he didn’t let on.

Kylee pretended it didn’t bother her. She went inside and sat at the kitchen table, unread history book open in front of her.

Her mom came out of the laundry room with the wet clothes piled high in the basket. She pushed a hand through the wad of twisted blond hair on top of her head and sighed.

She looked so tired. Dark shadows outlined her bloodshot eyes, and blue veins were visible on her pasty white skin. “I’ll help with the laundry,” Kylee said. She shut her pencil inside the history book.

“I can’t do this anymore,” her mom said with another sigh.

Kylee felt a moment of panic, seeing her mother so desperate. “It’s laundry, Mom. We got this.”

Her mom stepped out the front door without a word.

The morning wash was dry, so Kylee pulled off the clothes and folded them while her mom put up new ones.

“We better hurry,” her mom said, pinning up a pair of pants. “I heard on the radio we’ll be getting rain this afternoon.”

“It never rains. Just says it’s going to.”

“Yes, well. It won’t be a good enough excuse to your stepfather.”

Kylee didn’t want to talk about her stepfather. She took her loaded basket around to the front of the house.

She wasn’t too surprised to hear the laughter and talking from the kids as they walked toward their houses from the bus. Kylee slowed her walk but didn’t look toward them. She hoped Price would notice her not noticing him.

She reached the front door and pulled the screen, glad it creaked so loudly. She resisted the urge to look over her shoulder to see if Price was watching.

***

Kylee knew when Bill hollered for her mom that the evening argument was about to start. She stayed in the kitchen and counted to ten. The voices started out quiet, with her mom murmuring responses to Bill’s increasingly louder accusations.

“Kylee!” he shouted.

“Leave her alone,” her mom said.

A smack followed by a muted cry came from the other room, and Kylee abandoned the dishes.

“What do you want, Bill?”

He shoved Theresa out of the way and glowered at Kylee. He was trying to get on his feet, swaying in the chair and holding a bottle of beer. “Always sticking your nose where it don’t belong.”

“Kylee, go back to the kitchen,” her mom said.

“Worthless, just like your mom.”

“She’s not worthless. Neither am I,” Kylee said.

He’d made it to his feet now. “You got something to say, girl?”

“I already said it.”

The backhand that smacked across her cheek wasn’t unexpected. “Don’t you dare talk to me that way!” Bill roared.

Her mom blocked the next swing with a shaky hand. “Go to your room, Kylee.”

“Yeah, Kylee,” Bill sneered. He came at her again, shoving Theresa when she tried to latch onto his arm.

Kylee wasn’t fast enough to escape the punch, but she turned her head so she only got part of it. Still, her cheek stung. She stumbled out of the living room, tripping over the raised lip leading to the kitchen floor.

Bill wasn’t done. She heard him coming after her. She paused at the kitchen table, indecisive for a heartbeat. Her bedroom, or outside?

Outside.

She ran for the front door and let herself out. The night air pricked her skin, cooling her face where tears streamed down. She flew down the crumbling porch and ran into the forest behind the house.

Kylee knew the path with her eyes closed, which was good because the moon was just a sliver, too small to shine any light through the network of tree branches sheltering the woods. Her bare feet ran over the smoothed dirt, littered with pine needles and leaves.

There it was. A large oak tree had fallen down years ago, and sometime after that the forest animals had hollowed it out. Kylee knelt down and crept into the empty space. She pressed her back against it and wrapped her arms around her knees. In the safe solitude of her tree, she allowed herself to bawl.

“I can’t take it anymore,” she sobbed. “I’m getting out of here.” She had to flee. She couldn’t wait any longer. She’d run away.

But no. She couldn’t leave her mom alone with Bill.

How could she deal with this, then? She dropped one hand to her side and dug her fingers into the dirt behind her. No, she told herself. I’m not doing that anymore.But her fingers continued creeping around in the dirt as if they had developed their own consciousness.

The sharp edge of a serrated knife tickled her skin, and she let out a cry of relief. Her willpower crumpled. A giddiness warmed her chest at the expectation of the pain the knife would bring her. And how the pain would take her away.

She gave into her desires and held the sharp blade against her skin. This was how she would deal.

“Hello?”

Kylee froze mid-sniffle when she heard the male voice calling through the trees. Someone had heard her.

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