Doom Card: Your Imaginary Life Is Thematically Lame

The theme of a story is how the hero resolves the climax. So the theme of Star Wars is roughly - if you dig deep inside yourself, you can defy bad odds, to murder your enemies, with a little help from some fuckers who recently learned the power of friendship.

This is also the theme of the Marvel movies. And Harry Potter. And Lord of the Rings, Batman, Terminator 2, Transformers, The Matrix, Shrek, The Lion King, James Bond, and Pirates of the Caribbean. And Saving Private Ryan - which I thought was a serious movie. Maybe also The Fast and The Furious (haven’t seen it yet).

Anywho, a lot of stories have this theme. Inner strength, desperation, new friends, and murder. You may sometimes imagine you can solve your own problems with this formula. Not your real problems - those require money and therapy - but your imaginary problems. The rich inner life where you daydream about being attacked all day long.

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Or maybe you prefer the sitcom theme. Where you insult people until everyone likes you. I guess that’s better - you didn’t kill anybody - but it’s still overdone.

Why not spice things up? The next time you’re imagining a scenario that will never happen, why not incorporate some of these fun themes:

* Run away! Leave trouble behind you.

* Treachery! Lie to your enemies.

* Luck! People fuck up all the time, maybe your enemies will too.

* Bargain! Make them an offer.

* Give up! Let the waters flow over you.

* Switch sides! Fuck it, see how the other half lives.

* Invent something! Gizmos for the win.

* Abandon all social norms! Pretend you’re a bird.

It’s your imaginary life, have fun with it!