Novels2Search
Don't Just Eat Everything You Find In Caves!
Chapter 7: The Return to the Smell of Sweat and Feces

Chapter 7: The Return to the Smell of Sweat and Feces

Paul awoke in twilight. Literally, as it was still before sunrise. The local star providing illumination only coloured the sky in light shades of orange.

The hell? Why did I have to wake up so early? I could have slept a couple hours longer. But I do feel pretty rested. Is that one of those changes Grimiora talked about yesterday?

‘Uh, what do I see here~? Is that a good mood and a smile after waking up~?’, the one mentioned immediately greeted her.

‘Do I have to sleep less than before? Also, I do have to mention, just automatically licking my eyes to get the grime out of them after sleeping, like it’s nothing special, kinda freaked me out just now. Even if it is a lot better than rubbing them.’

‘Yes, I don’t get how humans can just sleep so long and miss so much of the day.’

‘We have to, well not me specifically anymore, biologically. And there isn’t much to do during the night. Well, not for the simple farmers here.’

‘And I equally don’t get why humans portray dragons as a species that can sleep for decades. When I think about it, maybe it’s just a misunderstanding. I do remember some days where lying in the sun felt like just the right thing to do. And that for weeks on end. Anyways, it seems like a small habit of mine made it over to you. I always licked my eyes after waking up. But from what I know that isn’t really anything super specific. I think most dragons do it. Still funny how you already do it, even though you only have had that tongue for a day now.’

‘I do hope those habits stay that tame and I don’t suddenly feel like killing some gods.’, Paul grinned.

‘Hey, that was one time, okay? And it seems like some of the draconic fighting spirit already crossed over to you. Or am I interpreting that vicious predatory grin, when you fought the wolves, wrong?’, Grimiora responding to Paul’s teasing efforts in earnest.

‘That was just me getting excited to finally use my new skill in combat!’, she however defended with overplayed vigour.

‘Is that so~? But I also got some really weird habit from you. I suddenly feel like pressing everything into numbers, criticizing everything and conquering the world. How weird.’

‘Now you’re just making fun of me.’

Paul passed the time until Sigmund woke up with reorganizing her pack, washing up a bit and again fiddling with her clothes to make them a bit more comfortable.

Really didn’t take me long to discover why a bra is essential. My balance in the fight yesterday was completely off. If I didn’t have that crazy skill on hand I would have surely toppled over sooner or later. Even ignoring the matter of my different height. But having a longer reach is pretty cool.

As soon as Sigmund woke up, they continued their drive through the forest. Around midday they halted to eat and then resumed the journey. When the sun already lowered, Grimiora seemed to have become a little bored and started to suggest some “fun” ideas to Paul.

‘Hey Paul!’, she whispered conspiratorially.

‘What is it? I can’t think of any more rom-coms from my world, sorry.’

‘Not that! I have a much better idea!’

‘And that would be?’, Paul already dreading whatever she would suggest.

‘Make a move on Sigmund!’

Again, Grimiora blew her expectations out of the water so much that she almost fell from the wagon.

“Careful there miss Paul. We wouldn’t want you breaking your neck.”, the man commented with a concerned face. He had stayed mostly quiet for the day. Possibly sparing his saviour from the continued retellings of how he had made the best chair in the whole history of his family from a big piece of driftwood.

‘I had low hopes for whatever you would come up with, but that....Whew!’, she said with an expression like she had just eaten a particularly spicy meal.

‘I knew you would be against it!’

‘What’s up with that accusatory tone? Why would you blame me for that?’

‘Okay, tell me: Why not?’, Grimiora responded with a defiant expression.

‘Maybe... because I don’t want to?’

‘Yeah, that’s because you don’t know how much fun~ it will be.’

‘How much “fun” could that ever be?’

‘Look: he was nice when he met you, you saved him and you sit next to him. The man is practically smitten with you!’

‘But I don’t want him to be smitten with me. And I seriously doubt that he is.’

‘He is! He is so silent now because he got shy around you. He will be boatloads of fun to tease and then to take him under some bushes at night!’

Do women take men? Isn’t it usually the other way around? I guess dragons tick differently in that regard.

‘What?! Why the hell would I do that? I don’t want to have sex with him!’, Paul seethed.

‘But I want to have you do it.’

‘But I don’t!’

‘Okay, okay, sex might be still a bit much for you in your new body. But then at least flirt a bit with him.’, Grimiora backed down.

‘That’s a lot more reasonable.’, Paul nodded and felt like she had been a bit manipulated when she started thinking about what to do.

Keeping her from doing something irrevocable was the sudden end of the forest and the view of the plains lying before their eyes. The wagon rolled onto a small raise in the terrain and Paul could finally see the familiar fields of corn and barley, the small lakes, the odd group of trees scattered around, and in the distance, Sommtrum. With her superior eyesight she could already make out the walls and the taller houses reaching over them.

‘It is like I feared.’, Grimiora sighed.

‘What is?’, Paul immediately asked, remembering her ominous words from yesterday.

Support creative writers by reading their stories on Royal Road, not stolen versions.

‘The state of humanity. The Braizhian Plains always were an epicenter of human development, but look at it now! The unpaved streets through the fields, the measly walls and defences and how tiny this supposed “city” is. It’s like they forgot all their achievements while I was gone! What happened?’, she called out in confusion and dismay.

‘I didn’t think you cared so much about humanity. Also, are you really sure that humanity in the past was so more advanced? Was that also why you were confused when I only mentioned a carriage as the only alternative to a wagon yesterday?’

‘I don’t care particularly much about humanity, even though most humans are rather entertaining. It’s more about what this means in general. What caused it? Is the cause still around? Did people also forget their culinary skills? And yes, that was the reason for my confusion. Actually, do you have any information on other regions besides these plains? Are they also this regressed?’

‘Typical that you only really care about food. My information on other regions is relatively sparse. I only know some names and rough locations, but I think I could research a bit once we get back in town. It’s a bit disconcerting knowing that some weird apocalypse could have happened, if what you claim is right and you actually didn’t just jump back in time.’, Paul had to acknowledge.

‘Magic happens in mysterious ways and a lot of things are possible, but time-travel is not one of them. At least not backwards. Believe me, I tried.’

‘Then I’m putting research of this matter on my list, right after meeting my friends and buying some fitting clothes.’

Unfortunately, everything still had to wait a bit, as they were still about a day away from town. When the sun set and they again set up camp for the night, Paul decided to hurry the next day after seeing the town again and being reminded of her waiting friends.

“Sigmund, I will continue alone tomorrow in the early morning. I want to reach Sommtrum a bit sooner now. The road should be rather safe so close to the city.”, she told him while chewing on the rest of her dried meat.

“Certainly, I again thank you for saving me free of charge. I wish you safe travels.”, the man replied with a rather somber expression.

Wait...what Grimiora rambled earlier wasn’t true, right?

Quite confused, she went to sleep early.

Waking up well rested, still in the dark of the night, Paul packed up and went on her way.

That reduced need of sleep proves it’s worth already. As if this arrangement with Grimiora wasn’t enough of an objectively great deal. I think my conscience will act up the next time I want to complain. A slightly annoying companion and a different sex can’t even be called a price compared to what I already gained.

A statement further strengthened when she increased her speed to a run. Not tripping thanks to the also remarkably good vision at night.

She only slowed down when she reached the first houses outside the city and the sun rose above the horizon.

I managed at least half of the way in just a few hours. Those higher stats are crazy, I’m not even really out of breath!

‘Okay, seeing some houses up close, things have regressed even further than I assumed at first glance. This is atrocious.’, Grimiora analyzed the huts of the local peasants.

‘You do know that those houses are really at the bottom of the spectrum, right?’, Paul tried to confirm.

‘That doesn’t take a genius to figure out.’, she snorted.

Indeed, it was not hard to figure out at the sight of the homes, made only of a single layer of wood for walls and with windows lacking glass panes and the uneven roofing made out of seemingly whatever the builders could find. Paul had to admit, it was truly a sorry sight in comparison to what she was used to in her old world.

Well, it’s not like there weren’t people who lived similar to this in my world. Only not so many in my country. And those that were near me were just more out of sight.

As it was now morning and she was finally near the city, a lot more people were on the road than before. And Paul’s appearance had exactly the effect she had feared originally. They all stared at her like she was some bizarre alien creature. The people she came across, children, women, men, old, rich, they all hurriedly turned away as soon as she glanced at them. Some with an embarrassed, some with a more scared look on their faces.

Completely unbothered, Grimiora jeered: ‘Look how they admire and fear you! Look at how intimidated they are, even the men! Look at the desire in their eyes, even from the women!’

Dragons really tick differently. She basically revels in the attention. Well, at least they don’t stare at my clothes. I guess if you look as striking as me you don’t even have to care about what you wear~. Wait, was I just proud that I draw so much attention? Fucking dragon traits! Am I gonna roar the next time going through here, or what?

‘Why do dragons have to be so arrogant?’, she complained.

‘Why do humans have to stare so much at them? You forgot what dragons represent? Don’t complain about not feeling embarrassed at this, why should you hate something if you can like it?’

Ughh, and I just said that I wouldn’t want to complain.

Trying to at least prevent the whole city from knowing about her before even arriving, Paul pulled her hood up. That stopped the stares at her face and hair, but not the ones at her generally and not the new ones at her peculiar clothing situation. And definitely not the whispers, that she sadly could hear with her improved hearing.

“Momma, why is that lady over there so tall?” “Don’t look honey, she has to be dangerous, whatever she is.”

“Hey, Grum! Look, over there! The chick with the gray cloak isn’t wearing anything below!” “You kidding me? What! You’re right!”

“Darling, the world just seems to get more and more dangerous.” “What makes you say that?” “The giant hooded person over there gives me a really ominous feeling.”

‘Are you satisfied? Now they are just looking at you funnily and whispering dumb shit.’

‘Mhmm, definitely more normal feeling.’

But I have to admit, the amazed stares had something. Maybe another time.

Reaching the city gates, the guard didn’t even lift an eyebrow at her appearance in his usual uncaring attitude and let her through after she showed her adventurer’s guild badge to him.

‘Paul, the guard was suspicious.’, Grimiora whispered when she reached the opposite site of the gate.

‘Now you with the suspicions!’

‘Yeah, but the carpenter man willingly ignored your appearance. That one just didn’t see anything special about it, even though you were two heads taller than him.’

‘I know him. That guy gets bothered by nothing. He probably would let you pass in your old dragon form if you would show him the right papers. However large that was. It was large, right?’

‘Obviously.’

Stepping through the busy morning streets of Sommtrum, Paul immediately took in the new enhanced sensations of the bustling people, the merchants praising their wares and the general smell of the city. So mainly sweat and feces.

Fucking medieval city! I get a better nose just to smell more of this shithole, literally. Well, at least I don’t get my sight blocked by people. Not that that was a massive problem to begin with.

Walking further into town, she made towards the marketplace and the inn her group of friends and fellow adventurers stayed at most of the time they were here and not on a request.

Finally standing in front of the rather average establishment, Paul felt some anxiousness welling up in her stomach. What if they wouldn’t be here? What if they didn’t believe her story?

No point in freaking out. Stay calm. They are not dead and they are your friends, they will believe you. Even if I have to take some time to convince them.

Paul approached the door of “‘The Gurgling Cave-Rat”, ducked under the door frame and stepped into the common room. The large area with multiple booths and free-standing tables was just as she remembered it. Which wasn’t surprising as she really hadn’t been gone for very long, but it still felt to her like it was ages ago. The scuffed up floor, the rough wood of the tables, the dim light and the usual drunkard sitting in their corner, all somehow reminiscent of how one would imagine a medieval inn. At this time of day it was mostly empty, except for the people who always sat here or the guests who didn’t get out of bed in the morning.

Looking around for the booth they always sat in when they came here, she soon found her group of friends sitting over some late breakfast consisting of bland porridge and seemingly, ale, with grave expressions.

They look terrible! Like they got hit by a truck and then didn’t sleep for a week straight. But at least they didn’t die trying to find me.

Paul closed in on their table until she was standing right in front of them. They didn’t even look up. After a while, Jason, a man with black hair and green eyes, eventually said something.

“How can we help you? If it’s nothing please leave us alone.”, he muttered.

“I have some information that will surely be of interest for you. May I take a seat?”, Paul answered in English.