“Hey, guys. What did you buy?” Jun asked. When the bastards didn’t respond, he snooped on the titles of the two books. One read “Typhoon Steps,’ and the other one “Flowing Water Dance.”
“It’s over. He’s going to get sold to a brothel after learning whatever this dance is.”
“Also, did they fucking ban cool technique names? What happened to ‘Star-Shattering Fist,’ or ‘Lance of Death?’ They’re gonna laugh at my boy when he says his techniques out loud.”
Meanwhile, Chen Hao was sullenly gazing inside his spirit stone pouch. This was the look of a man who had won the lottery just to have 60% of it go to taxes.
‘Brrr. Maybe he had to pay spirit stone taxes.’ Jun shuddered. He and taxes had a problem with each other.
“Are you sure this technique is worth it?” Chen Hao asked, holding up the book with an illustration of a man dancing amidst a river, droplets of water swirling around him.
“Why do you ask so many questions? You’re not going to get a refund even if you take it back.”
He Ming glanced at the boy, letting out another sigh.
“It’s a way of moving your body. A combination of extinct body tempering techniques and modern magical techniques. Just because there are no flashy moves like that “Wave Breaking Sword” you wanted doesn’t mean it’s a bad technique. Now, how many spirit stones do you have left?”
“A bit over a hundred.”
“Not enough for any artifacts. Spend the rest on first and second stage pills.” He Ming dismissively said as if he wasn’t plunging the boy into poverty again.
Chen Hao looked back and forth before protectively shielding the pouch behind his back.
“I’m going to go insane,” He Ming groaned, rubbing his face in exasperation. “Listen. If you buy pills, you get to a higher stage sooner. You can make more money if you are stronger,” he explained it like he was talking to an infant.
“Remember the reason you’re doing this.”
The last part was enough to convince Chen Hao. After all, he wasn’t normally a greedy person, but it was difficult to explain how stingy someone could be if they’ve experienced true poverty. At least it was better than the opposite. Jun had heard some horror stories of lottery winners blowing it all away in a year.
Buying pills was an incredibly streamlined experience. There were “optimal” pills to eat depending on what stage you were at to not waste any spiritual force. The only problem was that most pills had impurities, and to an untrained eye, it was hard to determine the difference. Once again, He Ming helped them out, picking out the best of the batch.
“They would all be the same in the Medicine Hall, but it’s more expensive that way.” He Ming commented, starting to head back to where they came from.
“Wait. Hold on. Are we leaving already? What about the casinos? You haven’t even experienced the joy of gambling!” Jun complained, but, of course, they ignored the dog. They always did.
‘You can't stop me. I’m coming back here all by myself.’ Jun thought for a moment before realising it was a bad idea. He didn’t see any guards here to prevent a dognapping. And who wouldn’t want such a fine specimen as himself? It was best to not come back until he had reached the flesh stage.
‘I’ll get Xu Peng to come and explore here. It should be fine if he keeps a low profile, right?’ he thought, already planning on slipping the kid a hint—the boy struck him as the cautious and paranoid sort.
The way back to the inn was uneventful, and once back at their room, Chen Hao eagerly opened the books, disregarding that it was already late at night. Jun peacefully settled on the bed, lying on his side with his legs extended. He watched how the kid, who had danced a mere handful of times, began to practise. The brat resembled an elongated jellyfish dangling above a frying pan, trying not to get cooked alive.
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‘Cultivation technique, my ass!” Jun chuckled. ‘Well, sometimes, it’s silly moments like these that make life worth living,’ he thought to himself, dozing off to sleep.
---
Just as he had kept count of the days in the village, he too did so with the days in the sect. Today marked the fourth month since they had arrived on the wonderful airship, still full of innocence and grand hopes. Well, for Jun, his hopes had never died.
“If I was writing a book, the village arc would be called “The Mortal’s Journey.” We are on “The Hero Awakens” arc now,” he said, rolling off his bed.
“Another day of being humble and handsome and awesome.”
Glancing outside the window, the sun had long risen in the air, and Chen Hao was nowhere to be seen.
‘Most likely working that dreadful job of his.’ Jun shivered just thinking about having to work. He was glad he had gotten away so quickly. As for how he did it—it turned out that the butcher lady didn’t particularly care whether a dirty mutt was present all day or not. After all, her diligent worker was taking care of everything.
“Good morning to everyone and everything besides this stupid fucking painting,” Jun grumbled, gnashing his teeth at the newest addition to their room. His fantastic mood plummeted.
Halfway up the wall was a painting impossible not to notice. It was framed with some cheap and chipped bronze, and the edges were wrinkled and folded and then smoothed out in an effort to fix whatever could be fixed. Still, depicted on it was one of the most breathtaking scenes Jun had ever seen, and it still would be to this day if he hadn’t burned the image into his retinas. Now, it showed up every time he closed his eyes.
He was going to murder someone soon if he had to keep doing this.
In the middle of the painting stood a handsome and beautiful man with delicate features and a perfectly symmetrical face. His long, black hair trailed behind him, each strand a thin line of ink. A pointed nose, a slight playful smile on his lips, light blue eyes like that of the sky. He wore a crown made of phoenix feathers and a white robe, striped with imperial gold and royal crimson. One hand held a sword that shone like the sun, and the second was waving towards the direction of the painter. It was like he was out on a peaceful stroll.
Destruction was the name of everything around him. The ground was shattered until it turned to lava, and even that shied away from the handsome man. A hundred thousand beasts lay on the floor, dismembered, their blood turning the world red. Panicked dragons, phoenixes, and rocs dotted the air, caught in an eternal moment of hysteria as their bodies were cut in half. Above them, a moon cried as chains and shackles dragged it towards the earth.
The scene had made Jun breathless the first time he had seen it. How could one man be so powerful? Would he one day reach this stage? Now, he merely sighed, staring at the painting until his eyes ran out of tears and began to torture him.
‘This isn’t working. Maybe I’ve lost the spark I once had.’ Jun thought, moving to read a bamboo slip that was haphazardly placed on the table.
“The End of an Era.
“This painting shows the Human Emperor subjugating those who would oppose his rule as he proclaims himself the ruler of all beings. It was first drawn by the Emperor of Black, back when he was but a mere follower of the Human Emperor.
“This is a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy of the original painting. The original painting is said to be locked up in the depths of the world as it has killed everyone who has ever looked at it after the Emperor of Black went into hiding.
“Despite that, even this inferior copy is capable of enlightening anyone who has a destiny with it. Buy now at the cheap price of five hundred spirit stones! Don’t miss out on this wonderful offer!”
He had first received news from Xu Peng a week ago. After producing enough spirit stones, Jun promptly confiscated the painting from the boy and hung it in his room. In a way, this was an answer to his questions, but not one he had expected. Divine Abilities, born from a cultivator’s enlightenment, did not care about what meridians you had or what species you were. As long as one could comprehend the intent behind this painting, a divine ability would manifest even in a roach.
‘No one ever says how fucking hard it is to be enlightened.’ Jun growled at the stupid painting. He had spent more than ten hours every single day staring at the thing until his eyes bled and his mind went into psychosis. What was he supposed to understand from this?
‘God, it’s all so easy in the novels. They think for a moment and comprehend something stupid like “you die when you are killed.” No shit.’
Maybe he needed to be on drugs. That was the only logical solution.
‘Whatever. Fuck this painting in particular. I’m above screaming at an inanimate object.’
He didn’t care about the painting anymore. After all, Xu Peng was only one of the two brats he employed in order to find a dog battle technique, and today, the second brat had found an actual ancient body tempering method!
Today was the day he revealed to the world his Heavenly Dog Body.