263 Walk Of Shame

(Winona)

I push the door open to Lisa's apartment, the morning light already way too harsh. I've got my sunglasses on, but I'm still squinting like a vampire.

My dress from last night clings in all the wrong places, and my hair?

Let's just say it's seen better days. So have my Insides which are currently mush. I'm aching and throbbing in places I forgot I had.

I step in, trying to act like I'm fine, but Lisa's already clocked me from the couch. She's lounging in her PJs, sipping coffee like she's waiting for the latest gossip

Which, of course, she is.

"Well, look who finally decided to show up!" she calls out, her tone dripping with amusement. "Walk of shame queen!"

I roll my eyes, tossing my bag onto the kitchen counter. "Don't start."

"Oh, honey, I'm just getting started." She sets her coffee down, eyes twinkling. "You're still in the same dress, your hair looks like you just rolled out of a very busy bed, and you're walking like you've ridden a wild stallion. Spill!" I laugh, shaking my head. "I'm not going to kiss and tell, Lisa."

Lisa practically jumps up from the couch, coming over with that nosy, best-friend energy. "After the night you had? Uh-uh, not happening. Who was it?"

I grin and shrug." might tell you one day."

Lisa clicks her fingers. "That tall dark guy with the tattoos? Or maybe that blond dude with the ridiculous. jawline. You know, the one who kept eyeing you all night."

I shrug, grabbing a glass of water. "Nice try. But I'm not saying anything."

"Oh, come on! I saw you flirting with half the room before I left. That guy with the beard? Or the one in the tight white shirt?" She narrows her eyes. "Was it both?"

I choke on my water, laughing. "What? No! Jesus, Lisa"

She crosses her arms, smirking. "So, it was just one then?"

I set the glass down, giving her a pointed look. "I told you, I'm not telling."

"Come on..." she begs. "I need details."

I shake my head, fighting off a grin. "Nope. Not happening. All you need to know is... it was good."

Her eyes widen, and she lets out a low whistle. "Good? You don't look like it was good, Honey. You look like it was earth-shattering. I told you, didn't I?"

""Yes. You did and yes, it was."

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263 Wak Of Shame

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Lisa grabs her coffee, sitting back down on the couch, completely absorbed. "See? That's what I was saying! You've been missing out. Doesn't it feel good to like, finally let loose?"

I nod, my face flushing at the memories of last night. "Yeah, I get it now. You were right."

"Of course, I was!" Lisa laughs. "So, are you going to do it again? You're still on your hall pass, girl. You've got time before the big day."

I bite my lip, not quite ready to admit how tempting that thought is. "Maybe. I don't know. It's complicated."

Lisa eyes me with that all-too-familiar curiosity. "What's complicated about it? If it was that good, why not go for round two? Or three? You've got a hen's night coming up. Perfect excuse to let loose again."

I hesitate. "Yeah, but... I don't know about the hen's night, Lisa. What if I don't go through with the wedding? Do I even need one?"

Her grin falters slightly, and she sets her mug down. "Whoa, wait. Don't make any decisions like that yet. You're still figuring things out. You had a good night, sure, but don't confuse that with knowing what you want for the rest of your life."

I let out a long sigh, sinking onto the couch next to her, "It's not about replacing Jayden or anything like that. It's about making sure I'm making the right decision. For me. For him. For everyone."

Lisa leans forward, her expression softening. "Exactly. Think it through. You've got time."

I stare at the floor, my thoughts swirling. "Yeah."

Lisa nudges me with her elbow, flashing a playful grin. "But, hey, if you want to do it again, there's always the hen's night. Just sayin'. No judgment here."

I laugh, shaking my head. "You're impossible."

"And you love me for it." She winks. "Seriously though, don't make any big calls just yet."

"I won't. I'm not overthinking it but I'm also not going to overdo it just because I can. I have a very serious decision that affects the kids."

"Look

Have your fun and then decide. You'll know what's right when the time comes."

I nod, knowing she's probably right. "That's what I figure. I mean I don't feel guilty."

Jayden did say it would be okay. But at the end of the day, I'm not doing this because he gave me permission. I'm doing it because it's what I want, for me. I will be telling him what I've done.

Not all the details but that I have done exactly what I wanted to. If he has a problem wit any of that before the wedding, then he can choose not to turn up, I guess.

But I'll be making sure he understands that I won't be entertaining any flack from him about this after we're married.

It will be in the past and that's where I'm happy to leave it.

But still, last night is going to be hard to forget. On the other hand, nothing happened that makes me Jayden any less.

love

263 Walk Of Shame

It was amazing and different and all about my satisfaction, over and over again. But it hasn't shifted my love of Jayden. I'm not sure I need another night to know it's him I want to be with. But I have all week and what can having a little more fun hurt?

I'm still keeping my options open.

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