I lay on my back, feeling like death. My palms are completely shredded under the bandages. My mouth is dry and my head is pounding. In my mind, there's an… emptiness. I feel dazed, disoriented.

As soon as Penny's dolls finished bandaging me, I stripped out of my bloodied clothes and collapsed into bed. She said it was a wonder I even made it back to the house, between the blood loss and… well. That part still doesn't quite feel real. A week ago, I was staring down the prospect of never getting out from under the damn thing, and now it's just gone. It hasn't really set in. Even when I look over at the fragment I left on the dresser, I can't really believe it. It feels like it’s still there, floating above my head. I can still feel its ghost, trying to nudge me this way or that, with every passing moment, but it’s powerless now. Its suggestions don’t feel any more pressing than a passing fancy, its attempts at punishment leave me completely unmoved. I may not be able to accept that it’s gone just yet, but I can at least say with certainty that I don’t have to listen to it.

As exhausted as I am, I don't think I can sleep anymore. I don't know how long it's been since we got back. I look down at my hands, wrapped tightly in gauze. I can't believe I just tried to rip it off like that. Guess I wasn't really thinking straight through all the pain. I don't even really remember most of it, it's a bit of a blur. Nothing after I saw Herrid’s insignia on the wall.

There’s a knock at the door. I don’t feel like getting up to answer it, or getting dressed, so I just call out for whoever’s on the other side to come in. Jackie pokes his head in. “Penny wanted to know if you’re doing alright.”

I consider it for a moment. That really depends on how you define “alright.” I'm certainly not getting any worse, but… I don’t feel like I’m exactly doing great, either. Penny probably just wants to know about my hands, though. “Yeah, I’m alright,” I reply. “Better than I was when we got back, anyway.”

He leans against the door frame, looking concerned. “What happened to you, anyway? How'd your hands get messed up?”

“Well… I tried to yank my halo off, and it didn't like that very much.”

“You what?”

“I guess ‘tried’ isn't really accurate, either. I pulled it apart and it exploded.” He looks utterly nonplussed. “There's a piece of it on the dresser there.”

He walks over and picks up the fragment, all I have left of the choice that dominated my life all those years. It's fully inert and darkened. It looks closer to a dull glassy brown than the vibrant gold ring that used to float above my head. “So it's just gone now, huh?”

“Yeah, I think so.”

He silently puts the fragment back on the dresser, and stands there a moment before speaking up again. “I guess you won't glow anymore, then.”

“Well… I guess not.”

“It’s a bit of a shame,” he says sheepishly, sticking his hands in his pockets. “I thought it was really pretty.”

“Can’t say I’d really thought about it,” I reply matter of factly, rolling onto my side and pulling the blanket up over my shoulder. It’s not like I was ever really using it as a fashion statement. The longer I spent stuck under that thing, the less I interacted with people outside of obligations. I didn’t really have much need for that kind of self-expression with no one around to see it, so I’m not about to be broken up about losing it in exchange for another shot at living my own life.

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“Sorry, I didn’t mean t-”

“It’s fine.”

He stays where he is for a moment, before making his way to the door and opening it. Just as he's about to leave he stops short and turns back toward me. “Oh, Penny’s gotten started on that USB drive, by the way. It’s all pretty dense logistical stuff, but she’s pretty sure she can figure some of it out, given enough time.”

“Alright.”

“Feel free to come by and see what she's got if you feel like it, she'll be right across the hall.”

I probably won't. Frankly, I don't really care about what's on the thing. I didn't particularly want to go out and get it, and my halo breaking is by far the most pressing result of that excursion for me. Although, that does remind me… “Hey, uh, where are my clothes?” I sit up a bit, holding the blanket up over my bare chest and looking around. “They aren't where I left them.”

“One of Penny's dolls took them for cleaning. They were kinda… covered in blood. I'll let them know you need something to wear, they can whip something up pretty quick that'll match the measurements of what you were wearing before.”

I nod and lay back down. “Thanks, Jackie.”

“No problem.” The door clicks quietly shut behind him as he leaves. Before long, it swings open again, and a doll enters to deposit a plain white t-shirt and slacks at the end of the bed. I thank it, in response to which it only nods politely as it leaves.

I stay where I am for a while, still utterly exhausted from my outing with Victoria. Lot of good that combat training did, considering that by the time we were spotted it was because I was freaking out too much to do anything. I think that might have been the worst pain I’ve ever experienced, realizing midway through the operation that it was completely off-limits. That to move forward was unacceptable, even as moving backward was impossible. I felt like my head would catch fire at any moment, and honestly if it had that might’ve been a mercy. At least it would’ve been a release from the mistake I was in the process of making.

I stand up and get dressed. There’s not much to the outfit, but I can hardly complain. Apparently these clothes were made to order, and it’s not like I gave them much to work with. I glance over at the mirror and see… Myself. Even with such plain attire, I look a little more recognizable now. Not quite the same as I was before, well… all of it, but undeniably me. It’s a step in the right direction.

I’m about to turn and leave when the door opens behind me. Victoria this time. “You’re up. I take it you’ve recovered somewhat?”

“A little bit, yeah,” I reply. “I’m not trying anything like that again.”

“Well, I have no reason to drag you out with me now that your halo’s gone. In fact, I’d recommend against leaving this house at all. Herrid’s people definitely know it was you in that office, and I don’t think their response is going to be friendly.” Her affectation is, of course, characteristically flat.

The idea that people would be looking for me after my little stunt hadn’t crossed my mind, but it does make sense now that it’s been brought up. “So not a good idea to go home once I’ve healed up?”

“Probably not. I’m about to stop by my own place and clean it out, I don’t think I’ll be sleeping there again. If you like I can stop by yours and grab anything you might need.”

I sigh heavily. “A few changes of clothes, I guess.” I can't say I'm attached to much else in that apartment.

“Got it.” She shuts the door and I hear her footsteps receding down the hall.

I take a step towards the door and almost fall down. Waves of exhaustion wash over my limbs and grasp at my head. Guess I'm in rougher shape than I thought. I was hoping to go and get some food, but… probably not a good idea. With an exasperated groan, I take my shirt back off, toss it on the bed, and shakily get back under the covers.

Some part of me thinks I should be more bothered by the news that a divinity is after me. I don't really feel any different, though. Before my halo broke, I was more or less confined to my apartment, now I'm confined to Penny's house. If anything this is a little nicer. I guess I'm technically in more danger now, but at least my enclosure is comfier, and I don't have to deal with my head buzzing. Maybe I'll feel differently later. Who knows, maybe I’ll even want it back.

I can’t help but chuckle a little at the thought. I may not know who I am or what I’m doing, but one thing’s for damn sure. I’m better than I was a week ago.