Fatty and Skinny took positions behind the group as Bandage led them off the road. There was a tense silence, for all of 30 seconds.
“My name's David, but you can call me Dai.” David began. “What are your names?”
Bandage grunted his response where Fatty and Skinny didn't respond.
“The alternative is I call you what I have been calling you in my mind. I will warn you, it isn't flattering.”
“And what are you calling us in your mind.” Skinny's words promised violence.
“Well you're Skinny,” David answered, pointing at each as he named them. “Then there is Fatty and Bandage.”
Quiet was all that answered him as David felt six pairs of eyes on him.
“What?” He asked the group.
“You call me Bandage. Because my hands are bandaged.” Bandage's tone spoke of incredulity at David's brilliance. “That is what you focus on?”
“Its distinctive.” David defended.
“MY HEAD IS ON FIRE.” Bandage roared back. “I thought I would have been hot head or fire hair or something.”
They watched as the reality of it dawned upon David. He quickly looked between the group.
“Dai...what did you see initially?” Bill calmly asked.
“Three humans, a goblin, you, and a dog.” David replied.
“And was there anything special about them?” Bill continued.
“Well Princess's tail is hairless and that's pretty unique. Mist is pointy, but all the other goblins were pointy too.” David started to squirm under the intense stares. “I swear! I didn't notice the fire for hair or the hair or the skin color.”
“David,” Bill directed Princess close enough so that he could place his hand against his friend. “You need new eyes.”
“My eyes are fine.” David snapped. “I just don't notice the same things you do.”
A soft laughter started before transforming into a full belly laugh. It was Fatty, whose deep basso voice tickled the inside of David. Skinny and Bandage soon joined in, where Mist just continued to stare at the crazy man she had roped herself with.
“Boy, I don't think I have ever heard a bigger one in all my days.” Fatty said as soon as he could speak. He smacked David on the back, causing him to notice how large the man's hands were. “My name is Rognar. Skinny, as you called him, is Bells . Bandage goes by Pyr but his name is George.”
“Now why did you go and tell him that?” Bells demanded.
“Because this guy is so oblivious I doubt he'd notice if he wasn't wearing pants.”
“Now that's not fair.” David said. “I notice if I am not wearing pants.”
That caused George to laugh harder. “You really don't get it.”
“You really only see me as a goblin?” Mist asked. “You don't see anything else?”
“No I don't see anything else. I guess I am blind. Princess, fetch me a stick.” David finished gesturing towards one of the trees. The crowd went quiet at that.
“Why do you need a stick?” Bill asked.
“Because blind people use sticks to help them walk! Because I guess I can't see what's directly in front of my face.” David ran his hands down his face. “Right, time to actually take you guys in.”
The first thing that David notice was that Princess was not a dog and barely resembled a dog. The goblin-dog stood about waist high through its long legs. Otherwise it looked like a massive rat with its claws instead of paws and alert rounded ears. It would be best described, David decided, as a cross breed between a dog and rat where the rat won. He also noted that the hair that coated Princess was thin and she seemed to be suffering from dandruff.
“Ah, that's what causes the goblin-pox.” David told the incredulous crowd. “Dandruff from the goblin-dog.”
Bill slapped at his face before turning towards George. “We might as well keep moving. If we wait for this idiot to catch everything he's missed we'd be here till next week.”
“He seriously didn't notice the fire?” George asked.
“I am almost certain.” Bill agreed. That just caused Rognar to start laughing again.
If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.
Rognar wasn't fat, as David first thought. The man stood two meters tall and was easily that wide. The best way to describe him would have been square. And the man was hairy. Nearly every inch of the man's exposed skin was covered in a thick, wiry hair. His beard descended low enough that it was tucked into his belt and thick enough to hide his mouth. The rest of his hair wasn't much better, with the benefit of being braided. Otherwise David was positive he's have a mane rather than simple hair. The only clear patches David could see were Rognar's hands and nose.
“I should have called you Hairy.” David told the man.
“Most do.” Rognar replied.
“You seriously just saw me as skinny?” Bells asked.
“You are skinny.” David said. “You're the same height as me and half my width.”
“My skin is the color of amber.” Bells countered.
“To be fair, that's really the only distinctive thing about you, besides your weight.” David replied. “I mean you look like a normal human, except for your caramel skin. Two eyes, two ears, a nose, a mouth, no beard or mustache, arms down to your knees, legs less than half your body...”
The walked in silence as David continued to look at Bells. The skin did really look like fresh caramel with an unnaturally bright brown. The fingers were also long and looked skilled. He had a long torso to match the short legs, and his feet were massive relative to the rest of him.
“Okay, there might have been a few noteworthy things about you.” David conceded. He turned to focus on George. “All of you.”
George had more than just flaming hair that seemed to move with the wind. His skin was ashy, both in color and texture. His eyes matched the red of his hair and also seemed alight. He was smaller than David, but easily as wide. Focusing more, David swore that the man was a consolidate storm just waiting to escape.
“You guys are humans, aren't you?” David inquired. “And you are a goblin?” He asked Mist.
“Yes, I am a goblin and these are humans.” Mist replied in a huff. “I doubt you'd notice anything special about me.”
“Besides being pointy?” David began as he looked at the girl he saved. Her skin was a molted gray and her body was best described as 'short stack.' In fact, outside of the ears that ran the entire side of her head there wasn't a lot pointy about her.
“She's not like the normal goblin.” Bells pointed out. “Gray skins are rare. They also tend to be curvy than the average goblin, matching a halfling in proportions.”
“Wait, halflings are a thing here?” David focused on Bells. “I didn't know that. I knew of humans, goblins, dwarves, some sort of giant, and Kalastar. What else do you have here.”
“How do you not know of the oppressors?” George began.
“We're not oppressors.” Mist snapped. The tension immediately rose as David saw Bells begin to reach towards his belt.
“I'm less than a day old, give or take.” David said. The tension snapped at his words.
“You're joking.” Rognar replied.
“He's not.” Bill answered. “He was summoned by the gods to do something with the classes. He chose to become an Alchemist and Morty had him choose me as his first mark.”
Silence returned to the party. It stood for nearly a minute before Mist broke it. “What's a class?”
“The first mark. The mark all of the chosen are born with, indicators of the blessing the gods will grant them as they grow and adapt to the magic of the land.” Bill answered. “They are formed from the wills and understanding of beings who brought you to this land mixed with the land itself. They grant you the powers that you use to defend yourself and others.”
“They're something you raise through the use of clerics.” David finished.
“I don't know what you think you're saying, but there's nothing like that here.” George replied.
“Poppycock.” Bill waved away the statement. “I looked at Mist's back. I don't understand her class, but she's got one. Its the one next to the bloodline.”
“The shame humanity inflicted on the great races.” Mist declared. The three humans tensed again, but before words could be exchanged David looked down to Bill.
“What are you talking about?” He asked.
“You have two crests on your back. The first represents your class and the second your bloodline.” Bill explained.
“You seriously don't know this?” George asked.
“I just told you I a less than a day old.” David said.
“You're awfully articulate for a new born.” Bells stated.
“And you're awfully thin for a human, but you don't see me making a big deal of it.” David snapped back.
“You literally called me skinny.” Bells growled getting up in David's space.
“Because you are skinny! How are you so skinny? Seriously, I want to know. Back where I am from people would have killed for that information.”
Bells paused at that before pushing past David. Rognar remained behind their four prisoners while Bells took point.
“And you,” David began, looking at Rognar. “What is your workout plan? You look like you could lift a house by yourself.”
Rognar grinned at that before replying.
“You should treat Bells with more respect, sort of like how you treat me.”
“But I do respect Bells.” David countered. “When we fought before he was handing me my ass after he got it from a sale, gift wrapped.”
“What?” Everyone except David and Princess replied.
“Sorry, phrases from home. Bells could take me and Mist down by himself.”
George frowned at that as he looked at his companion. “You're saying he's stronger than me?”
“To be fair, you didn't fight that well last time. You just tried kicking things before Rognar fell on you.”
Bells and Rognar chuckled at that before noticing George's mood, which caused them to laugh harder. That was until George's entire body froze.
“We got a gate nearby.” He told the crowd. Rognar and Bells swore while Mist looked worried. George looked towards David. “We need to know what you can do.”
“Without a bottle or some time to prepare, basically what I did when we first met.”
“Throw some punches and wiggle on the ground?” Rognar's tone had mirth even if his face remained neutral. He constantly scanned their surroundings.
“You are seriously pulling that right now?” Bells demanded. “What sort of fool needs a bottle to fight.”
“I need a bottle to use my infusions.” David growled back.
“No, you don't.” Bill replied, standing on top of Princess's head. “You can make mutagens for yourself.”
It was as if that word caused a light to turn on. David looked around, tracking the plants nearby before realizing he needed something more particular. Noise started coming from their left as David dashed to the right, collecting different plants before shoving them in his mouth.
“I need something from a beast.” David garbled. Everyone but Bill was preparing for whatever was coming their way so they ignored the strange man. For Bill's part, he looked down at Princess before shaking his head.
“Lets hope these guys have something” Bill commented before creature's from David's nightmares descended upon them.