NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Wait let me explain the screaming: as you probably have no idea what is going on. Well, you see it started about 5 minutes ago...
I think I'll choose... Heaven's Fire. Well, what did you think I'd choose? Small Balls of Fire is for amateurs plus I'm way past the "budding" pyro stage. Also, there is limited growth for infinitely spamming fireballs once you get past the "blowing stuff up" stage. Tim's Inheritance sounds cool but, it basically seems like a lucky draw and without my precious saves there is no way I'm gambling on that. there is also the fact that I have never heard of Tim and I really like even figures so that 0.9999999999999999999 would be a pain to look at. Past those two however, we have Heaven's Fire which unlocks like, 5 other things and my favourite colour is blue. So onwards to Destiny!! And with those meaningless inspirational words, I spun around to face the screen awaiting my decision.
And tripped on my own feet falling face-first through the screen and onto the floor.
Well at least I only did a faceplant onto the floor and, well, I don't like to say this but other than pain and a broken nose what could go wrong?
Congratulations Contestant No. 666 you are the first to purchase a Perk: Choosing Tim's Inheritance...
As your first Perk, you will gain a special option for your Perk. As Tim's Inheritance is a lottery-style Perk your special option is that if you receive an item it will gain the Self-repairing, Growth and Unbreakable options and if you gain a skill it will have the potential to evolve into a higher grade skill. Other special options are hidden.
So you're saying I get a Max Durability item or a growth skill? Jackpot!!!
Wait doesn't that mean if I picked Heaven's Fire it would have got special options?!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
And that brings us back to the present.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Congratulations Contestant No. 666 you are now the proud owner of Tim's Lighter.
Tim's Lighter:
Support the creativity of authors by visiting the original site for this novel and more.
Item Type: Growth
Options: Infinite Fuel, Unbreakable and Self-Repairation.
Description:
Tim's Lighter was held dear to his heart as the item which brought him on the path of a fire mage. Intended to be given to his son as a memoir it is a lighter. That's it. Enjoy, sincerely: World.
+1 to all flame-related skills.
+1 to all fire mage class skills.
A lighter? A freaking lighter?! It's settled, the Universe hates me. I mean it maybe be a super-skill-boosting-lighter but it is still a lighter.
I wonder how much it would get on tree-bay?
"Hell-o there."
Who are you, how did you get in my house and did you bring Cheetos?!
"Some call me Lucifore others Da Vil, you called me and yes, yes I did."
Wait your the DE-
"SHHH!! P.O.K.E.M.O.N. is always watching and I sold that name to them millennia ago."
"Now back to the point I was saying you called me here by thinking of selling an Artifact but I will also take your soul and whatever else you have to offer for a price. "
So your here to buy stuff from me for what reason exactly?
"I already told you I'm here to buy your Artifact and whatever else you want to sell."
Wait by Artifact do you mean this lighter?
"Wait did you say lighter? One moment, I need to call an associate of mine."
"Yohweh you sent me to buy a lighter?! When I come back we will have a serious talk about this!"
So you will buy anything other than the lighter?
"Yep, I don't see why not."
Alright then I will sell my couch, my TV, my fridge, my freezer, all food contained within, said freezer, all my phobias, fears and hesitation, my lack of discipline and all the air exhaled by me ever and the space between my first and last names.
"Is that all?"
Wait you will actually buy my fears?
"Yep, helps us torture souls in the land down under."
Australia?
"No, as in like Down, down you know with the souls, brimstone and fire?"
Ohhhh. You mean America.
"Maybe after the new guy's been running it a year or two but no, I mean... nevermind. Anyway, that will come to a price of 0.0000000000000000000001 Perk Points. Is there anything else you wish to sell. Like anything at all because I want to make this visit worthwhile."
In that case, I will sell the lack of a space in between my names.
"Hahahaha, I like you. That is the funniest thing I've seen in a while. In fact, I'll actually let you do that as it is unique and we have a use for it so. I'll give you a Stat Point for it but since I'm allowing this you have to sell me some soul. Foolio is that McCoolio? Did you like that, I'm thinking of going into rapping and you're the first person to see it and-"
The accent is good and you've got yourself a deal.
"Excellent."
Congratulations Contestant No. 666 you have made a deal with the Da Vil and lived +1 Charisma +1 Luck
Lucifore will give you 1 Stat Point, 1.0000000000000000000009 Perk Points and a half-eaten bag of C**eto* in exchange for your assorted junk, your namespace and lack of namespace and a Portion of your soul. Please specify Soul Portion (Soul currently possessed 99%).
Confirm Deal: Y/N
Specify Soul Portion as 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001% and confirm.
He looked up to see a grinning Lucifore who had seen his Contract who laughed and with a snap of his fingers disappeared leaving the words "I like you kid!" ringing in my head.