“That’s rude,” the girl replied in perfect Spanish. She looked up and locked eyes with Ash. “And also, true.”
Ash swallowed hard. He’d had no indication of their arrival, they’d just appeared, as if out of thin air. He turned to the gringo. “Are you a brujo, too.”
The man turned to the little witch and said something in a weird language that sounded almost recognizable, like an Irishman speaking Scottish with a mouth full of food.
The little girl rolled her eyes and a small parchment appeared in her hand. She slapped it on the man’s forehead. Ash watched a pair of black lips fade into the man’s forehead.
Ash crossed himself, suddenly aware he hadn’t been to mass in years. He was in big trouble.
“My apologies young sir. I didn’t understand your question. Can you repeat it, please?”
Ash closed his eyes and whispered, “Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, this is bad.”
Because the man had spoken to Ash in perfect Spanish.
Ash was about to die from a miniature witch and her racist guardian. “Could you have dressed any more like a stereotype? A sombrero? Really? Is your name Speedy Gonzalez?”
“No young sir, I am called Phoenix.”
“Like the city?” Ash asked, but this time in English.
“I’m unaware of this city,” Phoenix responded in flawless English. “I meant the immortal bird of fiery death and rebirth.”
“Sweet baby Jesus,” Ash whispered.
“He wasn’t,” the bruja said. She looked at Ash. “Sweet, that is. He cried all the time.”
“La diabla,” Ash hissed.
The girl set her blood red crayon down. “Oh, no. Now that’s just mean. Lal is far more charming than me and would be greatly offended by the comparison. He’s the prodigal son gone astray, sadly.”
Ash snapped his fingers and stood, his anger overcoming his fear. “What did you do to me?” He pointed at the Hello Kitty tattoo. “I can’t get this thing off me.”
“Really? That’s odd. Why don’t you join us at the table.”
Ash couldn’t rely on his intuition because his entire body still surged with adrenalin, like he’d licked an outlet, and it made sensing his chakras impossible. He took two calming breaths, enough to sense his Solar Plexus chakra, and quickly pulled energy from it, increasing his confidence. It gave him the strength to move, and he sat at the table as naturally as possible. What options did he have? He was a pig running around the slaughterhouse, and he’d only survive if the bruja wasn’t hungry.
The little witch had colored most of a centipede, the body silver, and the large pinchers over its mouth a bright red. She leaned toward Ash, and he stopped himself from jerking in fear. He felt a cold sensation on his shoulder, and he glanced down.
The bruja pulled the Band-Aid off his skin with no effort at all.
She looked up at Ash. “Have you ever been too good at your job?”
Ash shook his head. “Grandpa says I lack focus and the drive for excellence.”
“Well, those are just motivation issues. I’m sure you’ll make Grandpa Pine very proud someday.”
Ash went still, preparing to fight. He hadn’t said Grandpa’s name, which meant this little witch new far too much about him and his family. Attacking these witches would likely be fruitless, but he couldn’t go down without trying if it meant protecting family.
“You’ve upset him,” Phoenix said to the little girl. “You should tell him what you did to his grandpa.”
Ash moved to attack, not to permanently hurt anyone, but to disable them long enough to escape with his grandpa, but he remained locked in place, as if surrounded by concrete.
The little bruja studied Ash and shook her head. “You might be dumber than the other two, and let me tell you, those boys set a high bar for foolishness.”
Phoenix tilted his head. “The guardians are becoming frantic.”
“I know,” the girl replied. “Can you explain why we’re here, so they don’t do something stupid. The last thing we need is Lalquinrial’s attention.”
“Of course,” Phoenix said. Then his body burst into flames, the heat enough to make Ash wince in discomfort.
Phoenix had disappeared.
“Christ on a candlestick,” Ash whispered.
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“I appreciate a theme, but your curses are odd.”
Ash blushed. “Grandpa doesn’t like swearing and the extra Step practice isn’t worth an f-bomb. So now I sound like an old man when I’m pissed or surprised.” Taking a deep breath, questions rushed out of Ash. “What did you do to my grandpa? What did you mean by guardians? Did that guy just melt in a fire? And what are you?”
The pressure around Ash disappeared and the girl sighed. “I guess some questions are to be expected. Let’s see. I cured your grandpa’s bone disease and then placed a three-month debuff on him to make the recovery seem natural.”
“He had a bone disease? Like some kind of cancer?”
The girl shrugged, plucked the black crayon from the box, and colored the centipede’s claws.
“Why?” Ash asked. “What do you want?”
The girl looked up at Ash and grinned. “Now that is refreshing. With sense like that, you might survive all this. It gives you a fair shake against the Infernal Realm, too.”
“Infernal Realm? You mean hell? That’s real!”
The bruja’s eyes grew large and she slowly nodded. “Demons and everything.” She frowned. “It kills me I can’t see their involvement with you clearly. It could be this planet, perhaps. Lal is obsessed with it. So was Pen, but I only understood that later. He found the courage he needed when this planet lay within the grasp of Darkness. So obvious in hindsight.”
“Who are you?” Ash asked.
“Me? I’m just a simple girl. Tending a garden until spring arrives.”
“You’re a Clypser, aren’t you. From before the Clypse even happened. Can you travel through time or something?”
“Let me check. Well, no, it turns out I can’t here either. And I won’t be the only one to notice, which is what prompted this visit in the first place.”
Ash leaned back and rubbed his face with both hands. His body had only just started returning to normal from the shock of this girl’s arrival. “The more you talk the more confused I get. Let’s start over. You say you healed my grandpa. Assuming I believe you, I want to know why.”
“Distrust as well. I think I’m tearing up,” the girl said, dabbing her eyes. “First, you sensed your grandpa’s sickness, but you stuck it in a place I like to call denial. Second, you strike me as, let’s just call it not dumb. Do you think you’ve glimpsed even a grain of sand in the desert that is my power?”
Ash slowly shook his head.
“Exactly, so why bother lying? As for my motives? That is an excellent question with an incredibly complicated answer. Someday, if you survive the next few years, you might even be ready to hear some of it. For now, let’s call you an emergency backup. Possibly even part of the solution. You already swirl in the vortex of the true apocalypse and my vision ends there. So you could call me an interested spectator. Interested enough to give you a fighting chance.”
Ash glanced down at his shoulder where the girl had removed the Band-Aid. “That was some kind of ward, then, like garlic or holy water or silver? Something to protect me?”
The girl nodded.
Ash continued. “And something changed because of the Clypse and the effect—”
Ash stopped speaking, scared to say the words out loud.
“You’re a real intuitive thinker aren’t you. Jumping from A to Z when given D. I don’t know if that’s worse or better than thinking everything into the ground. You’re exactly right. The Clypse as you call it was an unexpected event that caught all of us by surprise. The changes are only starting, and things here are going to get very interesting. Maybe some old friends will stir and return to the land of the living. Time will tell, but it complicated my plan for you because in my effort to shield you, I made you stand out, and the last thing you want is attention.”
“That’s what you meant earlier when you said you did your job too well.”
“Good memory.”
“And the sombrero guy?”
“I’m turning some lemons into lemonade. The Clypsers as you call them, are something called Harvesters, or Cultivators for the squeamish.”
“And sombrero?”
“An excellent Cultivator and superb teacher.”
“Cultivator. So he’s the squeamish kind? Like a vegan of the Clypser world?”
“Kind of. Don’t underestimate him. He might not Harvest your Core, but he will vaporize you from existence.”
“Right. Weaponized vegans. And you brought him here to teach me something?”
“If possible. I’m not sure how much Spirit leaked here. If this had been any other planet, you’d all be dead already, reclaimed, and bound to the Infernal Realm. If enough Spirit made it through, then the Clypsers you see now are nothing to what is coming. This started as a Clypse, but the apocalypse is already on the way. Phoenix will teach you the skills which might allow you to survive it.”
“Don’t underestimate me. I’m good in a fight.”
“I don’t doubt it. Can you hold the sun in your palm? Drain an ocean? Pull the moon from the sky? Because that is the future. Phoenix can put you on the path to be one of those people. You can bet your last avocado Lalquinrial is rounding up the best and brightest, sending them through a Clypser boot camp, and binding them to the Infernal Realm. The impossible is already here, and you are behind.”
“Lalquinrial is the devil?”
The girl pulled a yellow crayon and drew a halo over the centipede’s head. “Your mythologies and religions are warped shadows of the truth. God or devil, they are the same. They are labels used to bucket those that we agree and disagree with. I like to think of myself as good, but I’m wise enough to know all villains believe the same. In the end, only the balance of our soul can detect the difference.”
Ash jerked in surprise as a whirlwind of flames spun over the chair across from him, and with a bright flash, Phoenix reappeared.
The man looked at the little girl. “I didn’t expect to see familiar faces.”
The bruja had taken the gold crayon and outlined the centipede’s wings, drawing small feathers over them. She spoke without looking up. “She figured it out almost as fast as I did, even without the knowledge of the Fourth Secret. Maybe Pen gave her a hint.” The girl drew a stick figure over the centipede, gave it long red hair, and arms held up as if in a blessing. The bruja continued, but quietly, as if talking to herself. “She watched, just as I did, and sent faithful servants to do what they could. She is clever. Perhaps even my match, and I hope it’s enough to outsmart fate.”
The girl added large wings to the stick figure and then focused on Phoenix. “Did they agree?”
Phoenix nodded.
“Excellent,” the girl said. “Then that solves a few problems. What did they say about the Infernal connection.”
“They will take extra precautions to avoid detection.”
The small girl tilted her head at Ash. “Check him.”
Phoenix stood and walked around the table. Ash’s Root and Third Eye chakras didn’t detect any ill will or danger so he didn’t react.
Phoenix stopped next to Ash. “May I check your center?”
Ash had learned to keep his center of gravity perfect from an early age. It gave him incredible balance and allowed him to execute his Bamboo and Viper moves flawlessly. “Sure, but I crossed that bridge a long time ago.”
Phoenix nodded and gently placed a hand on Ash’s back, the other on his chest. Ash felt a tingling sensation that raced all over his body. Phoenix gasped and stepped back causing the sensation to end.
“True god above,” Phoenix whispered. “You could have warned me.”