Chapter Two

At almost six feet tall, Laurel literally stood out from the crowd, what with her willowy form and her wild spray of curly ginger hair, but what really stood out was her smile. It was so bright that sometimes, I forgot everything else around me. It was not always the case, though. When we first met, she was antisocial and withdrawn. If she hadn't come into my shop, I don't think she would have ever given me a second thought. I'm nothing special to look at, but what I do have is humor, and that seemed to do the trick. When she returned the next day, I managed to score a lunch date.

We went to a bistro that overlooked the Willamette River, and I was a bit surprised that she insisted that we eat outdoors, as it was a bit chilly. The wine we shared helped with the chill, and despite my best wordplay and sharpened wit, she would not break. Oh, she got the jokes, and I could tell she followed my repartee without a pause, indeed she could return it as fast as I could serve it. However, she would sit there, her face a mask of detached amusement, if it weren't for her beautiful smiles, I might have just given up.

I'll be honest. It hurt my pride. I normally have rooms laughing. It's kind of my thing, you know? But despite how poorly I thought things were going, she always suggested another date. At one point I had even wondered if she was asexual. I mean, I know it happens, but most people have gene therapy to fix it shortly after puberty.

Turns out that wasn't the case. After a month or so of dinner dates, walks in the park and/or holos, we were in downtown McMinnville for the yearly UFO festival. The streets bustled with manic energy, and the city had spent quite a lot on augment artists, so the sky was full of holographic alien spacecraft, and stall vendors were all sorts of alien life that only existed when viewed through Castgoggles.

That's when it happened. Laurel had been leaning over to inspect some handmade jewelry laid out in precise rows on a woven woolen blanket, when someone bumped her quite rudely, causing her to windmill and as if in slow motion, fall into the street.

My utterly random ability to snatch falling things out of the air kicked in, causing me to step into the street momentarily, directly into the path of a double-decker tour bus filled to the brim with bulbous headed aliens, swing an arm around her waist – surprisingly light! – and spin us both back out of harm’s way.

I stood there, my arm around her waist, as she gaped in amazement at not only her fall, but almost immediate rescue from imminent danger. Sensing my moment, I pulled her in for a kiss.

Now, this moment stays with me like no other. Our lips met, hers soft and mine, well, I don't really have a point of reference, but I like to assume that I'm passable. She stiffened up, and I thought “Oh shit, did I just fuck this up?”.

Then the spasms started, her legs buckled, and had I not been holding her, she would have fallen to the ground, her arms flailed and head jerked, as if she had Saint Vitus's Dance. I slowly lowered her to the ground before tapping my goggles and shouting “Clara! Call 911!” The AI had placed the call nanoseconds after the command had escaped my lips, and had inbound EMT's within minutes, landing nearby, the robotic ambulance dilated open, accepted us gently and whisked us away to the closest emergency facility.

It could have been minutes, but it certainly felt like hours, I sat staring in silence in the bright white waiting room, with its pervasive antiseptic scent, uninteresting magazines and crowd of tired and injured people. Eventually an orderly came out to meet me.

“Sir, Miss Pendergrass has asked me to give you this.” He handed a folded piece of paper over, and headed back.

I opened the note, which read:

Jose,

You should probably go.

-L

Now, I had no idea what was going on in her mind, but there was no way that I was going to just leave. So I sat there, for another whole eternity, maybe even an eternity-and-a-half, until she finally emerged, looking slightly deflated and more than slightly unhappy. She noticed me, as I rose from my seat, and looked away, trying to scoot past me.

“Laurel. Stop. I'm sorry!” I snagged her arm in passing

This did indeed stop her, right in her tracks. She looked at me in confusion.

“Yeah, I'm sorry, really really, utterly and infinitely sorry. I thought it would be OK...” I trailed off, desperately trying to find my words.

“For what?" She said, in a half-mumble.

“Ah, er... kissing you? I thought it was the right moment. I'm so sorry. I didn't take your feelings into consideration...”

Laurel's laugh rang out, her face illuminated with one of her dazzling smiles, which drew attention from the others who sat more-or-less patiently for service. She closed the distance between us and kissed me, hard. A beat later, she began twitching, albeit significantly less than last time. She broke the kiss and rested her forehead on mine.

“I have a condition. I have to avoid extremes of emotion, or I spaz out. The doctors dosed me with Diazepam. It calms the tremors a lot. But ...I have an uncommon reaction to it as well.” Pulling away, she stared with fiery intensity, eyes fully dilated.

Confused, I felt myself drawn into her eyes. “Y-yeah?”

“I'll explain back at my place.” Her breath caught in her throat, as she pulled me towards the door.

A stupid smile broke out on my face as she led me out, “Yes. Yes, you will.”

***

The portal delivered the three of us to a clearing in a wooded thicket, a fragrant breeze brought the scent of lavender and honeysuckle to our noses, and the light of the setting sun gave a warm golden look to everything.

“Bingo Bongo!” Nathan shouted, pointing at three crates laying on the ground, a scroll was stuck to the top of one of the crates with a plain iron dagger.

“Woo hoo, loot!” Laurel did a little hop of joy.

I rolled my eyes. “Calm down, kids. This is our starter equipment”.

Nathan dashed to the crates, jerked out the dagger, and squinted at the paper. “Hey, it's a FAQ! LOL.”

“Lol? Wha?” Laurel peeked over his shoulder, which was no mean feat, as Nathan was minuscule compared to her, at a mere five and a half feet tall.

She laughed as she inspected it. “You can scroll the scroll!” She touched it and wiggled it up and down the face of the paper, making the print follow, making record scratching sounds.

Nate handed it to Laurel, who grinned and began scanning the page with interest. He then inspected the boxes

(OK team. Here's how we do things. Any time you see an interesting object, NPC or effect, you call out for me, and I copy the code. Got it?)

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

I nodded to myself “Got it.”

“Hey hey! 'ow do I look guv?” Nathan strutted around wearing a dark green quilted jerkin that he had pulled from his crate.

“Like a very bad ren faire attendee. What else you got in there?” I gestured to his crate.

“Oh, ah. Let's see...” He started pulling things out of the crate and dropping them on the ground.

“Ahm, a book titled Practical thievery and you, by a Mr. Joachin Behinyou, OOH! A matching bomber helmet, apparently,” He picked it up quickly and slipped on the leather hat, mugging for Laurel and I, “A raggedy cloth belt, and three, no, four pouches to put on it.” He slipped the pouches on his belt before cinching it over his small pot belly.

I opened and looked into my crate with interest, “What ‘bout you, babe?”

Laurel's squeal of delight tore my attention from my new gear. She did a pirouette in her new robe, a pale blue affair, made of rough wool. She shimmied about, withdrawing her arms into the robe, and with a surprisingly deft move, shucked off her pants and tunic that were underneath, and kicked them to the side.

Grinning, I pulled my attention away from the delectable derriere that swayed from side to side, as she examined the contents of her crate, and onto my own. Inside was a suede jerkin studded with iron rings, A belt, like Nathan's, a small hatchet, and, …. a large pot lid.

Yeah.

A large pot lid, suitable for covering cooking pots with, and a dagger similar to the one that held the scroll to the crate.

“Nate, catch!” I lobbed him the dagger, which he deftly caught and tucked into his belt. “Dual wield, yo.”

“Affirmative, boss.”

“Spaz, you get anything interesting?”

“Two books. Potions and poisons by Al Kemmy and Sorcery: A Primer by A. Kadabra, ...oh! And some empty bottles.”

“Any weapons?”

“No.”

“Just as well, I don’t want you fighting. I want you supporting. Study those books.”

“Yes, boss!” She chirped, and flipped through the book on sorcery, wandering to the comforting shade of a nearby tree to read.

“Nate!” I turned, looking for my diminutive friend.

“Here!” he replied, and as he did so, faded into view.

My eyebrows shot up. “Nice!”

He grinned with manic energy “I know! I’m just glad I won’t have to depend on this sad sack of shit to be a good rogue,” he gestured at himself flamboyantly, pausing for a sexy pose.

“I know you have the skills, bro. We’ve been doing this for years.”

“I’m feelin’ a need for range. You have anything for me?” he asked, peeking in my crate.

“I got nothin’. You gonna have to wait till we find a vendor or grab some rocks.”

Nathan scowled and scratched his belly lazily as he looked around. “Meh. Beggars can’t be choosers, I guess.” He sighed “Imma sneak around, get the hang of this and scout the area, maybe find some nice throwing rocks.”

***

By the time Nate returned from skulking about, my stomach had told me that it was time to eat. Meandering towards Laurel, I rubbed my stomach, and felt it gurgle impatiently at me.

“Babe, I’m getting hungry. You guys wanna log and go hit a pizza joint?

Nathan heard this and shouted “Pizza! Hells to the yes, boss!”

Laurel was engrossed in reading, thoughtfully chewing the end of one of her ginger curls. She suddenly realized I had spoken to her. “Uh, what?” She released her grip on her hair, letting it spring back into place

“Pizza. Hungry.”

Nate chimed in “Pizza! Pizza!”

“Oh! Um. Sure.” She dog eared her place in the book and stood, adjusting her robe.

“Houston, we have a problem.” Nate said with an ominous tone of voice.

I blinked twice and turned towards him, “beg pardon?”

“I can’t find the log out button.” Nathan was swiping left and right through his interface, his tone, moving from ominous to distinctly worried.

Sure enough, I could not find it either. This caused me to pause, and chew my lip, as I sometimes did when things went off-script.

“Chen, you have any idea?”

(I was on it the moment Nathan mentioned it. Hang tight, please.)

I let loose a sigh of relief, “OK, Chen. Do your thing.”

(He’s right. I know I saw it in the briefing room, when everyone was poking around the menus.)

“Well shit. What are we going to do about food? Sleep?” Nathan shouted crossly.

(You a boy scout?)

I nudged Nathan with my improv shield, “Nate. Take it down a notch. Chen’s right. We need food and shelter now. Did you spot any place we can use for shelter?”

“Yeah, I guess. I saw a cave in the hill to the south. Not too far off. You can almost see it from here.”

“What about food?” Laurel said, stowing her book into a belt pouch.

Shrugging my shoulders, I looked to the sky, “We might be able to eat whatever is living in the cave. It’s gotta be our starter dungeon.”

Nathan scowled, “Better be infested with pizza monsters.”

***

Although We had not gone more than eight feet into the cave, it had gotten too dark to see

“Hmm.”

I had not considered this. The usual deal was torches that never seemed to burn out or magical glowing crystals

“Alright. Everyone out.”

I ushered the others back out into the light. Squinting at the sun, I realized that I had no idea how fast time flowed in game. Most games compressed time, so that casual players could still partake in events that took place at certain times.

“Nate.”

“Boss.”

“You notice if time is sped up?”

Nathan looked at the sky. And hemmed to himself.

“Don’t think so. We’ve been here a while now, and I haven’t noticed anything. I think we’re 1:1 here.”

“Great! So we have a few hours before the sun sets. So, let’s get a fire going, and try to explore that cave.”

“Spaz, do you have anything in that book about light spells?”

Laurel sprung to attention and pulled out her spellbook, “let me see” She flipped through the book slowly, “Is that an illusion or conjuration?”

Nate pointed to our mage-in-training “Could be either. I’ve seen it as both in various games. Also check fire spells, sometimes you get those”

I snapped my fingers, “You’re right. The torch spell.”

Nathan looked smug “what can I say, I know my shit.”

Laurel frowned, “get a room, you two …. ah! Eureka!”

I rubbed my palms together and grinned “Ok. What we got.”

Laurel tugged on a curl as she read from the book “It says Spirit Lamp 0 of 2” She tapped the wood-block drawing of a lamp that dominated the page. Her eyes lit up. “Woo! It’s a button. I got a popup.”

Nathan peeked at her book, and frowned. “I can’t see it, what’s it say?”

“Are you sure you want to learn this spell? Yes/No”

She looked torn. “looks like I only get two spells, should I learn it?”

Pursing my lips, I thought for a moment and sighed, “Yeah, do it. Choose something offensive with the second one, though.”

Laurel tapped the invisible button and dropped her book with a squeak of surprise. Her hands made arcane gestures and a pale peach glow traced her hands movements. With a hollow echo, she uttered “Spiritus Lucerna”

A glowing orb of pale blue fire sprung into existence between her extended hands, then drifted upwards settling in above and behind her right shoulder.

“That was surreal. It was like I was on rails! My hands did the motions on their own.”

“Cool. Now let’s go explore that cave while that spell lasts.” Nathan gestured to the cave with his eyes.

***

An hour later, the three of us sat around the campfire that we had set up in the rear of the cave, staring at the fire.

Laurel’s stomach growled loudly, “Slimes. Just slimes. Giant rats I’d have been okay with.”

“Yeah, that’d be like nutria or guinea pigs.” Nathan moaned.

“Aw man! Now I want guinea-kebabs” I sighed, the scent of sizzling meat wafting through my imagination drove me to distraction.

“I’ll say one thing; Portland’s street food is the best.” Nathan looked glumly into the fire.

“You got that right.” We all sighed gloomily.

Laurel fingered a bright blue, egg-shaped stone she found in the cave after the first swarm of slimes. “Joe, this is kinda weirding me out. We’re stuck in this game. What if we can’t ever get out?”

“Ah, don’t worry, babe. It’s gotta be a bug, I’m sure it’ll be straightened out pronto.” I squeezed her shoulder and pulled her closer.

Nate stood and stretched, yawning. “I’mma hit the hay.”

“Yeah. Go ahead. You too, babe. I’ll keep watch.” I nudged Laurel gently, making her sway gently.

She blinked sleepily and nodded. “Yeah OK. G’night”

She curled up by the fire and quickly fell asleep, a peaceful look on her face. I smiled, looking at the two of them, snoozing around the fire.

I admit, I was somewhat worried about the lack of a logout function. Maybe there was a stability issue that was making logout risky. But no reason to worry the others.

Well.

Better safe than sorry.

***

The morning broke with the sound of overly enthusiastic songbirds going at it full blast.

“Good morning, sunshine.” Nathan said, tossing a pine cone at my head.

“Ah. Yeah. ‘morning, Nate. I must have fallen asleep.” I rolled to my feet and dusted the leaves and dirt off of me. “Where’s spaz?”

He jerked a thumb behind him. “Taking a leak.”

Sure enough, Laurel came out of the brush, adjusting her robe. Her face brightened, as she saw me.

“Hi sweetie. What’s our plan for today?”

“Well, I think since we are temporarily stuck here, we need to up our foraging and camping game, or we’re gonna be really hungry and tired, our performance will really suffer if that happens.”

Nathan nodded.

“The man has a point. I was an Eagle Scout, so I suppose…” He drew out the last word as he looked around. “Ok you two. Go kill some more slimes while I hustle us up some food.

“Wait, Nate. I can probably gather edible plants with a skill in my alchemy skill tree.”

Nathan paused a half-beat.

“Er, herbalism? Or gathering?”

Laurel beamed. “Both actually. Only one pip in each, but I have them.”

“Good. Boss, change of plan. You try and make our camp a little more livable while we’re gone.”

I nodded. It was a solid plan.

“Don’t go too far, I want to be able to get to you If I hear fighting.”

The two of them gave me sloppy salutes and headed into the trees. Returning the salute, I looked at the hatchet that dangled on my belt and peered at the nearby trees.

“Hmm. Better get on it.”