Miraculously, none of the individuals in the three other cars were harmed in the incident.

Not even a single scratch.

One of the passengers even found himself cured of his chronic lung cancer after they were admitted to the hospital for a routine checkup under the doubts of the bystanders who witnessed the entire incident.

Miraculously.

The First van slammed against ours while the car behind it swerved to avoid crashing into it but unfortunately hit the car next to it instead. The old man driving the second car was understandably spooked, patting his chest for relief while the two family families in the other vehicles huddled together for comfort. I would have expected that they would have started an altercation with me after they gained consciousness but they just accepted my apology.

Since everyone emerged relatively unharmed, they were unfortunately unable to press charges against me on the grounds of personal injuries, so I offered to pay the bills for their vehicle replacement in exchange for having them sign an NDA.

While I busied myself explaining the situation to the first responder officer who was called to the scene, Shannon was unfortunately found to be under the influence of some very illegal…substances.

"What does it mean to be 'high'? " Mthyl asks, scrolling the search engine on her device and finding the available definitions inadequate.

"It means she felt very happy." Way too happy.

"That's obviously not true." She pouts rather adorably, "I'm not dumb."

Gosh, that's such an offensive word.

"Why would you ever insinuate that?" She's really not. "you're just..unique and special."

Like little bits of miracles.

"Igetis Cyl didn't she take from our-" I mush Zylm's cheeks together. They all look so adorable when they're quiet.

I ignore the judgmental eyes of the social workers picking us up from the police station, choosing to admire the captivating grey scenery outside our vehicle instead. It had been my hope that my first meeting with the hero organization would occur under some very different circumstances. Maybe without the kids…or in the sun; even in a nice office on a sunny day where we could all get the leisure to chat and really become more acquainted.

Nevertheless, as our vehicle stops in front of a very shady-looking building… I place a tracking spell on the last of the kids. My brief period at the station did nothing to change my improve my opinion on the general public safety of this city,

"Do we all remember the procedure for emergencies?"

""Yes Igetis Cyl.""

"Wonderful." I close the car door, temporarily reinforcing it with aether.

Just as an extra precaution.

================

"Why are we here again?" Star Streak asks in a whisper, sitting precariously on the edge of his plastic seat. These chairs were purposely made for discomfort and that was the belief he would hold till the day he died. Which probably wasn't that far away considering he was a professional hero.

He looks to the rest of his team for answers but they merely shrug and gesture at the hulking frame of Owlman sitting before the large screen of their computer; surrounded on all sides by empty cups of coffee. One of the hanging lights flickers briefly before turning back on.

Now, Star Streak wouldn't claim to know the man personally but… he looked more stressed than usual.

"Sigh…"

A lot more stressed than usual.

Star Streak slides down, burying his face in the disgusting cream rug of their secret base. God knows when last it had been washed. Their last cleaner quit last year and no one really follows the chore list anymore.

"Dude…" He groans tiredly."I thought we only gathered for emergencies?"

It was already eleven pm and he had a job in another city to return to. Carla was going to be furious at him taking another unprompted 'overtime' at the 'office' for the third time this week.

He batted away the energy bar Sea-lad threw at him from the other side of the room, choosing to remain hungry instead of trying another bite of his absolutely disgusting tuna bar.

"We are gaining a new sponsor." Owlman begins in a low voice, taping on the screen to bring up a familiar photo.

Star Streak was pretty sure the entire world at least had an idea who the person on screen was. You don't get in a scandal almost every month for three years straight without having people know your face.

"Cylestine 001, or as it seems to prefer- Igetis Cyl of Crlya." He zooms in on the photo. Expanding the bright grin, iris-less eyes, and marble-like skin of the subject of interest.

"We don't know what it is, where it came from, or how it was made but we have records that it's been here for thousands of years and possibly much longer." He scrolls to another photo, this time of a lush flower valley extending into the distance beyond the screen.

"I'm sure you've all heard of the valley to nowhere?"

Star Streak nods, sitting up to get a better look at the screen. He remembers being younger and getting enthralled by the stories of the valley to nowhere. Always blooming even in winter and extending to an unknown distance. Numerous tests and explorations into the valley ended with the drones walking back to their location months later in a perfect circle with no video evidence of ever reaching the end. It had been deemed one of the world's plethora of fucked up mysteries.

"Well," Owlman scrolls, and the screen changes to a neighborhood with pastel-colored mini mansions lining both sides of the streets and brightly smiling giants swinging on flower vines, picnicking, or just looking incredibly happy to be sitting on their perfectly mowed lawns wasting the day away.

"The valley did actually go somewhere. A fact the world only discovered three years ago when the subject of our meeting expressed a sudden interest in joining the world union with a country that had remained non-existent on any the world maps till that day." He gestures limply, turning the chair to face them.

"This photo of a suburban nightmare was taken by one of the inspectors on their short trip to the country of Crlya. A perfectly normal day, he said on his record afterward. They all looked like this at every moment of the day." At that he rests his back on his seat, palming his forehead.

"I'm sure you might have also-"

"What's the point of this?" Solargirl interrupts, Crossing her hands over her chest. An action that broadened her shoulders but also, unfortunately, emphasized the rather impressive size of her-Star Streak abruptly slams his head into the oval table, gaining the attention of the five others present at the meeting.

"Before getting interrupted by our two inpatient cohorts- we're having this conversation because Igetis Cyl is our new sponsor." He concludes, leaving no room for protests and Turing his seat back to face the computer.

Start Streak is fine with that.

He doesn't think anyone else would even try to protest considering they clearly need-

"What?!" Boy wonder sits up abruptly from his chair; his entire six-foot muscled frame adulating Star Streak's hindsight to not name himself Starboy during his first debut interview. Gosh, that would not age well at all.

Owlman heaves a heavy sigh filled with so much disappointment Boy wonder's expression turns a bit abashed, his skin behind the white domino mask heats up and he grins awkwardly, "Sorry." He mumbles, sitting back down.

"Do not be shy! Boy wonder," Martian Mayhem encourages from his side with unneeded levels of enthusiasm, green skin washed out under the harsh lights of their base, "Tell us what wonderful thoughts you formed on the pulsing meat of your skull,"

Star Streak feels his face grimace under his mask at the wording, an action mirrored by his fellow teammates who probably also got an unwanted mental picture of a pulsing meat in their minds.

"MM, I thought we talk about not-" Solar girl begins, tone exasperated.

Anatomic Ana looks personally offended, "Why do you keep saying shit like that-"

"Quiet." Owlman interrupts from the side, resting his head on his palm, "Boy wonder, take the podium; and Martian Mayhem please, just…" How he manages to look disappointed despite the cowl is still a mystery, "Stop saying gross things, I think we get enough from villains as is." He heaves another disappointed sigh. That's the fifth one in the past hour, one more and he'll break their record.

Boy wonder perks up at his name, flying to the black podium at the front of the room with unshared levels of glee.

"Okay," He begins, voice akin to sharing gossip, "So I've been hearing a bunch of news about this guy-"

"Like the rest of the world-" Anatomic Anna scoffs, sitting upside down in her chair.

"And apparently it's like, really evil."

"Okay," Owl man intones from the side, taking a sip from his black flask.

Star Streak wonders what's actually in there. Common sense says it's alcohol but knowing Owlman it's probably some disgusting blend to 'raise his vitamins' or something equally useless. Gross.

"Go on."

"Well…" Boy Wonder scratches his head, "I heard it mind controls its citizens, and keeps them drugged from birth."

"Un-huh." He takes another sip.

Anatomic Ana pops her gum loudly.

"I heard it killed a lot of people in the past and…" He pauses, taking in the unmoved expression of the team with obvious confusion.

Star Streak wouldn't blame him, boredom was a tough response to deal with.

"Look, Boy Wonder." The metal of Owlman's flask clinks loudly against the glass of their large oval desk. "I understand your transfer from central has been tough but, Astoria can be a little less uh- morally uptight. If you get my drift?"

"What?"

"Some…issues that might be considered immoral in central are usually," He gestures vaguely, "Overlooked here."

"What?" More confusion.

"God," Star Streak pushes his hair away from his face."He means we don't care dude."

"What?!"

Ensure your favorite authors get the support they deserve. Read this novel on Royal Road.

Anatomic Ana twirls her chair, black hair moping up the dirt from the rug. "The alien has money, we definitely need money. The alien offers to pay us money? we take the money. Understand?"

"I mean- yeah! But don't you care it's clearly evil? just look at that face!" He points agitatedly at the screen, now showing a fast-forwarded clip of Igetis Cyl attending an interview but soundless. Throughout the entire process, you can notice the interviewer become steadily more uncomfortable as the smile on Igetis Cyl's face remains unchanged no matter the severity of the question being asked.

Unhelpfully, his brain imagines it speaking with the naively cheerful voice it chooses to uses in every diplomatic meeting and Star Streak winces in sympathy for the man.

"I guess it does look a bit…creepy." Owlman agrees eventually.

"I know!"

"But take a look at Sea-Lad-"

"Hey!" Sea-lad raises his head from the aquarium, offended.

"I'm not sure we can really judge based on looks."

"But-" Wonder Boy protests,

"And we really, really can't afford to judge based on looks in our condition." He waves at the tired-looking heroes littered around different corners of the room.

"Anatomic Anna hasn't been able to fix her armor for two months now, Star Streak's been stuck flying two hours every day to get home since the teleporter to Vanpor broke half a year ago, Sea-Lad has basically been out of the mission loop for half a year now after his device broke in a fight, Martian mayhem is stuck on earth till further notice since his spaceship was used when Lady Luna tried to steal the moon last year, and our bases have been steadily declining quality and quantity due to our lack of funds to pay our bills."

"For the past ten years I've been filling the gaps in our finances but it's becoming a danger to my secret identity. I can't move so much funds without raising any more suspicion than I already did, and every meeting with central so far has just been empty promises piled upon empty promises."

Solar Boy's expression closes off at the mention of central. Star Streak guesses it wasn't easy comprehending the extent of the organization's failure when everything is glided over with gold.

Owlman sweeps his gaze over the room, " I don't care about your personal opinions of Igetis Cyl but when we go out there for the meeting I expect you all to be completely civil and friendly about this entire debacle. Understood?" He asks, staring directly at Wonder Boy who looks vaguely uncomfortable to be placed under his focus. "Kiss its fucking ass if you have to, just don't mess it up."

Starstreak feels his brows raise under his domino mask at his words.

He had never seen Owlman get so agitated about anything before and he fights the mentally deranged for a living.

They must really need more funds.

====================

Backing up his claim twenty minutes later, Star Streak concludes that they must really, really need more funds to the point of desperation as the towering frame of the Igetis Cyl comes into view.

Different from its usual outfits that usually ended up in magazines from their sheer ridiculousness, the new getup looked less like a high fashion reject than Star Streak had ever seen it dress in. It was even missing the absurd amount of jewelry it seemed to love wearing, still wearing what to Star Streak was still an absurd amount, but in comparison to usual is much less in quantity.

"It's so wonderful meeting you all." Igetis Cyl greets in that oddly naive sounding tone of voice, face mostly hidden behind the oversized headgear it was never seen without.

Maybe this was its version of dressing down?

Owlman reaches to shake the offered gloved hand, giving a small smile at the creature's wide grin.

"The pleasure is all ours." He gestures at the simple seating arrangements on the side, one chair obviously larger than the others but not large enough to hold eight-foot-tall aliens of mystery weight.

The cameras really made it seem much, much shorter.

"Would you like some refreshments?"

Martian Mayhem emerges from their small kitchenette, a large tray of snacks and fruits in his arms. Star Streak didn't Remember there being anything of the sort available when he last checked the kitchen. In most of their bases, the kitchen was a waste of space that was never stocked with anything edible and never of use to anyone on the team.

Were they hiding the snacks?

Martian Mayer offers the tray to Igetis Cyl and Startstreak expects it to decline politely, however, it seems pleased to be offered food and takes it with gusto.

An uncomfortable silence befalls them as they awkwardly sit on the chairs, watching Igetis Cyl clean off the entire tray.

"Should we…order some food?" Owlman asks after a while, his tone giving Start Streak a whiplash harsh enough to throw him an incredulous look.

In the five years they had worked together, Star Streak had never seen Owlman so polite. Not even to the higher-ups at Central and he works for them.

"You wouldn't mind?" Igetis Cyl asks, surprised expression unobscured by the missing hat.

It just…sort of disappeared?

"Not at all." Owl man nods. "I understand you've had a rough day."

"Yes!" It exclaims in a suddenly passionate tone. "She seemed so lovely over the phone. I was unaware she dabbled in botany."

Star Steak blinks, What did that mean?

"Indeed," Owlman says, expression underneath his black domino mask twisted in mock sympathy.

What.

"It's always the one you least expect." He says. "Who knew hiring random strangers off the internet could be so dangerous?"

Igetis Cyl laughs.

Startstreak can't tell what the joke is. He looks over to Anatomic Ana with his brows raised in question but finds her mirroring his expression.

Great. He's not the only one confused.

Martian Mayhem laughs along but Star Streak knows he definitely doesn't understand the joke either, he just likes being involved.

"I haven't had the chance to check our newsfeed yet-so," Star Streak drums his fingers against the wooden table,"Mind catching us up?" He grins.

Almost instantly he regrets even asking as Igetis Cyl turns to him, big white eyes peering down creepily.

"Oh, I'm sorry-I just had some troubles with our vehicle on my way from the airport." It says, tone light and amicable.

"It broke down?" Anatomic Ana questions, trying to start a conversation, "That's-"

"No no," It waves, interrupting her with a grin."We almost got run over by a truck. It was awful, haha."

"Oh."

"Our driver was unfortunately under the influence of some substances-"

"What do you mean-" Boy wonder begins incredulously.

Igetis Cyl tries wave off his worry, "But it all worked out fine in the end. I only gave her a few pieces." It says, completely failing and raising another concern.

Star Streak was pretty sure it just admitted to a crime. He wasn't sure what crime it was but something about its words just felt vaguely illegal and-

He's broken out of his musings when Igetis Cyl proceeds to pull out an entire box from thin air like it does in some interviews. Is it magic? some sort of superpower? No one really knows and it freaks a lot of people out that it could most likely bring a bomb to any location with no sign whatsoever.

"May I use your kitchen?" It asks abruptly, already standing up from its seat and obviously expecting a positive response, "My kids are in the car and they've had nothing to eat all day."

"Um," Solar girl turns to Owlman, who nods in agreement. "Sure? No one really uses it so..feel free."

"Great."

The table suddenly gains weight as boxes of different types pile on top of each other, their packaging is written in strange symbols and are various shades of pastel.

"I had plans to drop them off at school then attend our interview at three."Igetis Cyl explains, gliding off to the kitchenette in an entirely familiar manner

Star Streak meets the incredulous gaze of Anatomic Ana and shrugs.

He sees Owlman rise to follow along, treading silently in his black and gray getup.

"Did they miss it?"

"Yes," A sigh, "Your justice system is very ineffective. Earlier in the day, I was held hostage by an agitated seafood furry at the bank."

..this conversation had officially turned weird. There goes his plans of having a good night's sleep. Now his mind is haunted by nightmares of seafood furries and pulsing skull meat.

"I see." Owlman, the champ who sold his soul for better equipment powers on, "Was anyone harmed?" He asks, like his mind automatically filtered out parts of the sentence.

Which it probably did. Owl Man did always write selective hearing as his reason for failing to follow Central's orders.

"I'm not sure." Igetis Cyl admits, throwing the item from one of the boxes into the microwave and setting it at thirty seconds. "I left when he got distracted yelling at the cashier. He seemed awfully upset at being told to calm down, even refusing my offer to pay ransom. It was all a very uncomfortable ordeal."

And gosh, wasn't that an achievement? The villains of Star View were so fucking weird they made an alien feel uncomfortable. He should use that line in his next fight.

Maybe it'll stop them from monologuing so damn much.

"Why didn't you just…beat him up." Boy Wonder says.

Which is a stupid question to even ask considering the biological differences between Crylans and an average Astoria inhabitant. Guess which race is made of rocks? It's definitely not the latter.

Igetis Cyl glances at him with a wide grin, "But one hit and he'll die," It mimics an explosion, "Your skulls are really very fragile. It's a bit concerning since I remember your ancestors being more resilient…or maybe I was just much weaker, who knows?" It laughs, sounding deceptively light and pleasant.

"Why don't we start the interview?"