Good news! Triglav woke up.

“-then I said ‘no thank you' like any sensible monster in my position would when suddenly asked such an outrageous request by an unknown group of cultists. They didn’t call my agent or make an appointment to summon me beforehand they just sort of - did. With not even the slightest warning on their part whatsoever, treating me like I’m some common whore a lonely merchant paid to keep him company for the night. I'm a damn dragon and I worked too hard to be disrespected by some amateurs with no knowledge of summoning etiquette at all.

And most insultingly of all, they didn’t even use pure gold in their incompetent ritual to make my journey worth the trouble. Pathetic. I ended my millennial-long hibernation for 90 percent of the real thing. None of my earliest summoners were this cheap and they were fucking peasants. I only asked for 10,000 kilograms of pure gold and this failure of a cult couldn’t even afford it. I'm not sure what they expected but I eat actual gold for breakfast of course I care if my clients are poor. It was in my introduction and everything, I specifically included not to summon me if you couldn't afford the 10,000 deposit since you definitely won’t be able to pay the price of having me work for you per minute. If they wanted cheap labor they could’ve exchanged their souls with a wyvern or some other weak monster. I hear succubi really love taking genitals as payment and considering their occupation they clearly didn't need it anymore so that was another option they skipped to summon an unaffordable dragon so clearly out of their budget in their stupid ambition for world domination. You know what I call that? A bad investment; A really fucking bad investment. Now they not only lose the money they also lose their lives for daring to even stage this fucking scam in the first place.

Then their leader began spewing nonsense about virginity and whatnot, trying to make me eat the unconscious kids tied to the trees stewing in their piss and shit since they were of ‘pure bodies and minds’ like I’m a deranged vampire chasing virgin blood. I don’t know whose kids those were, I don’t know what they ate, and I don’t know if they have some strange plague you humanoids seem to develop every century so of course I won’t eat them. I hope the cultists like the smell of shit though ‘cause that’s their new home for the rest of eternity.“ Triglav ends his three-minute passionate rant looking angrier than he was at the beginning.

Bad news.

A reporter caught us before we could leave and thought questioning the dragon on his failed summoning was a bright idea.

Judging from his alarmed expression whenever Triglav’s anger manifested and parts of his limbs turned into actual flames….

I’d say he regrets asking.

“That’s…that’s wonderful, Mr Triglav.” The reporter manages after a brief pause,“And very reassuring to anyone out there concerned about your usual dietary restrictions.” He jokes, the shallow gills on his cheeks and blue tint of his skin hinting at his oceanic descent.

Or maybe he’s just a blue human with gills.

It’s sometimes hard to tell these days. Evolution has been very strange to some species.

Triglav turns to him sharply, “That’s not funny. My brother died from a food disorder.”

The reporter blanches immediately.”I am so sorry-“

“I'm joking. He got eaten.” Triglav laughs rather unkindly, “You should’ve seen your face. You humanoids assume I want to eat them but I’m on a diet you know, inferior meat clogs up my stomach. Never sits quite right. You should be worried about Devourer right-“ He points at me and I hurriedly slap his hand down, interrupting the end of that particularly horrible sentence.

“Triglav loves joking.” I grin at the camera. ”But not about his diet. He was very serious about that. Most monsters of higher ranks are on diets for similar reasons and won’t help you take over the world so please don’t try to summon them. At all. Most times you’ll end up summoning a demon. And in rare cases like this a summon actually goes through you’ll have made yourself visible to the collectors, the overseers of failed summons.” Who’ll stew you in their guts with excrement for the rest of eternity. It’s their entire livelihood.

Since summoning was a part of demonology collectors chased the location of every new summon in hopes the summoner would be weak and vulnerable or make even the slightest mistake in completing the ritual.

They really feasted on the population of Astoria a few centuries ago when everyone and their dogs suddenly became interested in learning sorcery and casting unknown spells, leading to the formation of several inept schools of magic taught by inept professors to even more inept groups of students who later grew up to be equally inept professors. Like a messed-up circle of incompetence. Usually, their main clientele were royals searching for eternal life but the new wave of failed acolytes expanded their granary.

Exponentially.

“Ha..haha.” The reporter laughs awkwardly, ”That’s…another joke…right? Demons aren’t actually real, right?” He reiterates, glancing back and forth between me, the camera, then at the heroes speaking to some uninformed individuals nearby.

Probably the area's law enforcers.

I grin at him quizzically, “Why I would joke on such an awful topic? I’m dead serious.”

“It’s just-you’re smiling and I thought-“

“No, no.” Triglav shakes his head, slapping me repeatedly in the face with a mane of red hair.

Pfbtt.

It got in my mouth.

“Please be kind to my facially deformed friend. It hasn’t been easy living with such unfortunate features.” He wipes a fake tear.

I pull off strands of hair tangled around my horns from his action, making sure to really tug on them till they threaten to leave the follicle of his head. “Now that’s a joke. A bad joke, but one nonetheless. However demons are very real, and so are the collectors. Please never make light of such significant issues, their repercussions can be very serious.”

Wasn’t this common knowledge? I know there are records of the previous demon kings available online. Every culture has been negatively impacted by their arrival and the last one only died a millennial ago.

I’m not sure when the next one is arriving. It has been long overdue. The various sources I’ve asked claim it’s already here, but I think there has been a mistake.

“The collectors take your souls and leave your body in eternal sleep,” Triglav adds, wincing slightly as I tug another fistful of red hair.

“Like in a coma?” Anatomic Ana asks from the side.

“No, like brain dead.”

“…Oh.”

“So those cultists are-“ Owlman begins.

“Yes,” I nod.

He curses, quickly exiting the camera frame to make a phone call. Most collectors l knew acted in the span of three days but if we’re lucky maybe we’ll get a new amateurish hatchling or an old, down on its last legs- far less agile one. Even a bloated collector struggling to walk would be preferred at this point. I hold some interest in learning how a group of cultists so clearly incompetent gained access to a book of spells that ancient and dangerous.

There’s a reason dabbling in the occult is generally never advised unless under the supervision of a well-trained adept.

This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

In that book, the monsters available for summon are either seeking easy wealth like Triglav or the souls of anyone desperate enough to try summoning them. Unleashing them into the world unsupervised could have serious consequences.

I’d know.

I wrote it.

“On the bright side!” I hurriedly intone as the reporter begins to look steadily more uncomfortable, “You’ll probably never worry about demons in your lifetime.”

“B-because they can’t reach us?” He stammers hopefully, his weak life force becoming more obvious by the minute.

“No-“ My arm slams into the side of Triglav’s face.

“…Sure.” I grin, “Let’s go with that. And maybe take a taxi home today, your body might appreciate it”

======================

Following the brief interview and parting with Triglav, I returned to Cryla fifteen minutes before my meeting scheduled with the city overseers began. At ten I had a weekly environmental cleaning, cleansing our atmosphere at twelve, then a visit to the planning committee at one, another council meeting at two, factory golem upkeep at three, a general overview of Cryla’s finances at four, visiting the farms at five, checking up on my businesses and organizations at six, attend another council meeting with the district overseers at seven, get an update of ongoing national projects at eight, work in my labs at nine, hold an online meeting with the neighborhood overseers at nine-thirty, clean up the water supply at ten, agument the barriers at eleven, then at twelve I’ll address a few hundred submitted complains and I’m done for the day.

It has been a while since I’ve had so much free time available in between my daily schedule. Things are often busiest at the beginning and end of the year, at the start and end of every season, the middle of the year, the first and last week of the month, and the week to and before any major holiday. Leaving a few weeks in the year when my schedule is really light and stress-free.

A large part of Cryla's ability to function depends on my general presence.

Before the creation of thousands of clones who could lighten the workload, I used to have almost no free time but now I have a whole day per month when I only do the bare minimum and spend the remaining hours pursuing any of my interests.

Like my own version of a weekend

It’s great.

***********************

“I’m not sure re-absorption is a good idea.” Overseer Emral of CL 2 disagrees, “I think they should be-“ She makes crushing motion with both hands, earning an uproar from her two fellow overseers and the senior council members seated at various corners of the skylight room.

Our meetings usually took place inside any of my residences in the three cities according to the rotating roster for the week. To match the occasion I changed my outfit from the athletic getup I used in my fight with Triglav into something more appropriate. More elaborate.

More pastel.

“No!” Overseer Zayn of CL 3 sits up abruptly from his slouch. “I have had it with you making the most awful suggestions every time we have a problem. Not all situation requires death! They’re just impressionable, young minds.” He defends, gazing at Emral with a surprising amount of disdain considering their relationship.

“Well, they’re too impressionable!” Emral yells back, “It started with one kid and you said ‘it’s just one kid’ then boom! Before you know it spread across ten neighborhoods. All in my city! This dumb rebellion against the vaccine is spreading like a plague!”

Which to me seems like an awful comparison but-I can understand her frustration.

“To be fair, we did get a sufficient amount of warning before it all snowballed.” Overseer Nyla of CL 1 points out from her couch at the other side of the room, half focused on clearing off the tray of fruits on the table.

“Yeah, and I thought we agreed it would be good for the nation to subtly encourage the entire thing.” A senior council member adds. “It’s the first rebellion in Cryla’s history. We wrote it In the book of records, interviewed every kid protesting the vaccine for video proof, encouraged them to be more vocal in their protests, made suggestions after watching similar videos from other sides of the continent, and paid their families to go along with the story. What’s the problem now?”

“I emailed them a whole presentation on why they might not really need the vaccine to fuel the flames, why does nobody remember my presentation? You guys are really rude and it’s bothering me how you’re all ignoring my efforts.”

Another council member sighs, “Myla your presentation was a flop.”

“The problem is that some kids are using it as an excuse to stay home and do nothing! It’s affecting the city's average productivity and we barely made it out of the red last year!” Emral exclaims, burying her fingers into her hair frustratedly.

Ah.

That explains the sudden anger.

“Easy.” I slow the swinging of my hammock chair. “We’ll make little badges as identification for every real member. Actions speak louder than words, so we'll drain them of the vaccine since protesting something they consume would seem hypocritical.”

We want to make it seem as authentic as possible.

The badges could even be white and black in color, to represent how the world around Crylans before the vaccine slowly descended into monochromacy as they got older.

“But a lot of protesters already took their vaccines. They made appointments to the health center as usual and took the damn vaccine.”

“Then we’ll use plan B.”

“The first version?!” A new senior council exclaims eyes widened to sufficiently convey the extent of his shock and I…

…turn to him in mild bafflement, “No. no. Why would you even think-“

“Your mind is a very dark place-” Emral mutters appallingly at him.

“Have I ever acted so cruel to warrant such a harrowing thought-“

“Yeah! Get your facts right! Our goal is to disable them, not option-one them!” Another council member defends and I turn to her, feeling equally concerned and baffled at the content of her words.

“No. Another resounding No to that sentence. Our intention has never been to disable anyone-“ A thought hit me and I pause, “Is that why your presentation flopped? I asked you to list reasons the vaccine might not be as vital as I normally claim; Did you allude to the kids becoming disabled Esther, did you?”

A large majority changed their minds after she sent the email

“But that’s what happens when you don’t take it!” Esther throws her arms up exasperatedly, “Everyone knows this! It’s common sense. What should I have done? Make up lies and shorten their lifespan?!”

“Yes!” Multiple members of the council exclaim.

"No! I know some of these kids. They're all gonna die and it'll be my fault and everyone' willl be mad at me and-"

No.

“Gosh No. Never. I would never ask for something so cruel.” I motion her forwards and she hesitantly complies, fidgeting slightly before standing in front of me.

“Don’t be scared.” My hand reaches down to cup her cheeks and they squash slightly under the pressure of my palms.

“You have such nice skin.” I compliment, “And hair. They’re both so well nourished and loved…how long do you spend on them daily?”

”…An hour or two.”

“Wonderful.” The surface of my velvet gloves stroke her truly lovely skin, so soft and smooth. “You have so much love to give it’s just- threatening to burst right out the seams of your flesh. Yes?”

“I-I guess?” She stammers doubtfully.

“Why guess? Never guess. You are exactly what I expect from an elected member of my council. Your care for the younger generation’s well-being and the transparency of their superiors is nothing short but admirable.”

“Thank you-“

“But we understand not all situations can accommodate such profound kindness, yes?”

“…”

I tuck a stray hair behind her ear, the satiny cascade of loose curls dyed a lovely shade of blond.

How pretty.

“It might help think of what we do as creating a better future for every upcoming generation of Crylan citizens. We turn events that might disrupt the general peace into a learning experience and strengthen our unity as a nation through every new decision. Every failure is a chance for growth and every mistake is a possibility to create something new and beautiful. And, sure, some individuals might not survive our pursuit of the common good but-sacrifices must be made, yes?”

“…Yes Igetis Cyl.”

“Wonderful.” I pat her head. It’s best when they understand, makes it much easier to get things done.

“Why don’t we get back on topic? There are many options on how to administer a true unvaccinated experience to every one of our budding rebels. I’m sure their ideology would strengthen after the first few steps.”

Losing the ability to walk might make them indignant enough to stand their ground. Maybe they’ll even go on hunger strikes and make demands like some participants of peaceful protests around the nation tend to do.

And with this example hopefully, the population might learn a lesson about trusting the outside world and strengthen their resistance against unknown influences. Like a vaccine against gullibility.

I’m excited just thinking about it.

==================

My meetings with the district overseers later in the day usually goes a bit differently than my gathering with the city overseers and senior councilmen. For one, the location and my appearance became more formal.

“After numerous attempts and personal visits to the homes of the rebellious second stagers…we were, unfortunately, unable to curb the spread of the vaccination protests.”

It also requires quite a bit of half-truths on my part and a really tight-lipped circle of advisors on the council members' part since spreading the contents of any assembly is prohibited.

And after this meeting the lower leveled overseers and councilmen of my next two scheduled assemblies hear a different version of the story I just told, go home and tell their subordinates an even more vague version of the story they heard, then the subordinates tell their subordinates a vaguer version of the vague version they were told and it just keeps getting vaguer till I go on my next morning broadcast and convey only the vaguest amount of information on the situation to match every version of the story they had all been told.

The citizens in leadership positions are often intelligent so they’re definitely aware the narrative they get is incomplete but to ask is a transgression of their position and could place them at risk of a potential memory wipe following their immediate termination.

This system is very important in keeping the general atmosphere of Cryla always vibrant and positive.

Sometimes, equivocation is the best option.