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Adventure Awaits?

Adventure Awaits! This is a tale, a tale of adventure! In a land far, very far away, in a time too long ago to remember… 

Our story begins in a tavern! I know, how typical for a fantasy setting? But… this is fantasy and it's my story! So there I was enjoying a pint, when an old man approached me.  

"Hey there young lad, you look like you've got spare time on your hands!" He said, leaning into the bar. 

"So what if I do? I'm just enjoying some lunch before-“ The waitress came back with the bill. I looked at it and frowned, the total might as well have said ‘all your stinking money.’   

Since I only had 10 silver crowns… and the meal was 3 silver crowns. Not to mention leaving a tip. 

"Have you ever heard of the Fountain of Fathomless Fortune?" The old man asked, his voice at a raspy whisper. 

I sighed. 

"Nope." 

"Would you like to know about it?" He ignored me, and invaded my personal space. The guy smelled like mothballs, sour ale, and cheese. 

I looked at my mostly empty purse and cringed. 

"Suuuuuuuuuuure… what's the fountain of fortune?" I asked, with enough sarcasm to kill a dragon.  

He didn't take the hint. 

"I can tell you for a crown." The old man coughed. 

"Or two~"  Another snake, great! 

I splashed the remaining dregs of my beer in his face, before paying for my lunch, and walking out of the Red Dragon tavern. 

Everyone knew about the Fountain of Fortune. It was everywhere; on every billboard, on every newspaper, and it was in everyone's mouth! It's all I've heard about since I got here; to this stupidly predictable fantasy world!

Okay, check it. So for those lacking eyes, and or have the attention span of a pixie high on coffee; once in a great while the King would open up his private garden to adventures. Only one party could make it to the center of his maze to bathe in this 'mythical' fountain. And guess what it does? It grants those idiots who are crazy enough to reach it, good fortune! What about the other adventures, you might ask? Oh, they would return home either changed, cursed, or worse… in a pine box. 

Sounds like fun, right? 

It was no secret that the only way to enter this competition was to find one of seven golden tokens. Six out of the seven tokens were already found. If anyone in town had one then everyone else would know about it! So if some random old fart came up to you saying he had one (and you always had to pay for it) you knew he was trying to swindle you of some hard earned coins.

However… 

"Rei, baby, guess what I found?" A familiar female voice called out from behind me. 

That’s my name. 

My shoulders slumped. I curled my fists. 

"Rei, I found a thing!" The voice said, slurring her speech. 

I began to walk a little faster. 

"It'll pay us nice and we can finally get some new gear! I promise you Rei, h-hey Rey, wait up!!!" She said, grabbing my shoulder and turning me around to face her.  

Akira the Wise. She was a babe; tall, elegant, she had sharp, pointy elvish ears, and a pretty face. Her long locks of rainbow colored hair reached down to her waist. Her tunic was hemmed a little too tightly around her voluptuous figure. So she was a bit of a nice distraction from the locals. But despite all of that she had one fault; she was as dumb as rocks.  

"I'm telling you, It'll help us get better gear so we can-" 

"Fight the Demon King?" I sighed, as she tripped on her heels on the uneven cobblestone road. 

"Ugh… yeahhh." She hiccuped, while she swayed unsteadily on her feet.

"Then I'll get you home, and I'll return to paradise and-“  She paused again, this time to throw up. 

The narrative has been stolen; if detected on Amazon, report the infringement.

I sighed and patted her back while she chucked rainbows into the gutter. 

Ugh, are all Goddesses like this? If not, God, then can I get a new one!?

Akira was in fact a Goddess, and she was the reason I was here, instead of at home watching Netflix, with a bowl of cheese puffs! Or in paradise eating grapes served by a harem of beautiful angels. But that's a story for another time… 

"Ack~ Rei… so I," She paused with a hiccup and straightened herself out a bit. She smelled of cheap wine.

"I found something on the street that some weird old guy dropped."  Her hand dove into her tunic to retrieve a thick gold coin.  

"Guess who's the lucky one now? Fufu~" She bragged with a smirk, and waved it in my face. I couldn't get a good look at it, but it looked valuable. 

"Look if this is yet another of your hair-brained schemes to get rich fa-" 

I looked at the coin. It shimmered in the sunlight, but from what I could tell, it was old, if not ancient! Its surface and edges were worn smooth from ages of being handled. I couldn’t read the words, but I could clearly make out the engraving of a fountain.

"Oh fuck," I muttered.

“Hey, watch your language!"

I swiped the coin from her hand. 

"H-hey, that was rude! You could’ve asked for it!" She protested, loudly.

“This isn’t the way to treat a goddess! Next time ask, or better yet, bow and beg for it. You’re lucky that I-“

I looked up at her. She was still chiding me, but I wasn't listening. I looked down at the coin again. Then back up at her. 

"Where did you say you found this?" I asked. 

"In a gutter near the Tavern, some old guy dropped it, why?"

"Are you stupid?" I looked down at the token again and felt the engraving between my fingers. 

"Maybe a little." Admitted the Goddess with a wry grin. She put her hands on her hips. 

"Were you even listening to me?" She asked.

"Nope." 

"Oh in that case, I was thinking of pawning this at that shop. Imagine how much this will~"

I grabbed her collar and held the coin up to her face. "Read this, what does it say, Akira!?" I interrupted. She stared at it for a moment and shrugged. 

"The Fountain of Fortune." She read outloud. 

"Wait. Don't tell me that this is one of those tok-" I covered her mouth and looked around. People were staring, and not in a good way.  

"Don't talk so loud you dummy. If everyone knew what this was, you know what would happen?" 

"Mmmf?"   

"A fucking riot. So let's get back to the Guildhall so we can come up with a plan." I whispered, looking over my shoulder.  

She nodded. 

It was only a couple of rocky, cobblestone-paved blocks back to the Guildhall of Adventurers. But, with Akira’s stumbling, it felt more like four or five. Occasionally we’d have to stop to let her recover. She’d either hiccup or throw up. Or both. 

Honestly, it was a surprise she had anything left in her stomach when we arrived at the big oaken doors of the Guildhall. Unlike the first time we barged through it, we had something more valuable than a minor bounty to cash in. We had the golden ticket to the big leagues! 

It was only a few minutes after sitting down at our usual corner, before Akira returned to her alcoholic tendencies. 

“I have an idea, dude!” I said, watching Akira drink her third mug since sitting down. 

“What?” Slurred the boozed up Goddess. 

“How about we advertise ourselves? Then we could get more party-mates.” I explained. 

"By the Divine, yeah!" She cheered, "Then we can get to the fou-" I put my hand up to her mouth. 

People weren't staring yet, but a few wary glances were cast our way. 

"What?" She whined, muffled under my hand. 

"I'd rather we didn't let the whole guild know that we have one of the golden tokens…" I hissed.

"B-but Rei, what about getting more people to join us? How can we get more party members, if no one knows what their joining for?" 

Honestly, it's amazing how noisy she is, even with her mouth covered. 

I rubbed my forehead with my free hand. 

"I don't want someone useless to join us.  Like…" I glance at her, and cleared my throat. "I want more powerful adventures like you! Like… uh.." I looked around the room. Everyone but Akira were like myself; nobodies. 

They were normal peasants, who were playing at being heros. It was embarrassing enough to admit, but Akira was easily the most powerful person in the room!

"Erm… like an archmage! Um… or a paladin… a Ranger? A bard? Both!? Oh, I don't know! We can't keep doing fetch quests.“

“But I like fetch quests!" Akira protested, I could feel her pout under my hand. "Besides, I don't see anyone like that here…" 

I managed a frustrated sigh and dropped my hand from her mouth. I turned my attention to my rucksack. After a few moments rummaging, I found a quill, some ink, and some paper. Then I got to work scribbling a simple advertisement;

"Attention: looking for experienced Adventurers to join my party. Must be powerful classes, we are recruiting at the Guildhall of Adventurers in Town. You can find me at the table by the window most evenings. I'm not hard to miss! You can find me by my weird clothes. If I am not there, then check the Red Dragon Tavern. Please come soon, while openings last!"

"Your clothes are quite strange, Rei." Akira observed, sipping her ale. "When are you finally gonna upgrade?" 

I frowned. My eyebrow twitched. It's been about a week of wearing the same black 'Be a Nice Human!' shirt and gym shorts combo that I died in.

"When we get more crowns!" I retorted, raising my voice, before stomping up to the billboard and nailing it on. Each strike on the nail clanged noisily and echoed. When I turned around, I found the whole room staring at me before returning to the important business of drinking, chatting, and gambling.

Now all we had to do was wait. 

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