It had just turned 10:00 a.m. Felix was seeing off his second pint, with a third on its way. He placed his empty glass down on a coaster. Covering the small map of Texas that was printed onto it. A trail of white foam dribbled down the side of the glass, coming to rest at the base. Felix rubbed his eyes as the jukebox faded out, before another nostalgic American country song started up.

The whole pub was themed after the United States. A three foot star-spangled banner hung over the bar. Framed pictures of Presidents and movie stars covered the walls. With one wall dedicated to Apollo: Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins were framed above a model Saturn V. The famous images of cheering crowds and serious scientists surrounding them. Felix sat alone in a private booth, a large and detailed map of the continental U.S. filling the wall.

Saloona was a favourite of his. Something about the theming and atmosphere made it possible to convince himself he was back on Earth. That he could step outside after a drink and hear the cries of birds filling the sky. Or smell an approaching storm. The people were friendly, mostly Americans. They'd share stories of growing up in the States, the innocence that encompassed their formative years and how it died when the world turned sour. The Americans didn't seem to notice or care that their tales were shared by thousands from every continent.

It wasn't just them: Everyone on Luna had suffered as democracy wilted. Everyone on Luna had experienced a point of no return where they had to flee to the stars. And everyone on Luna was mourning somebody they'd left behind.

Felix didn't mind, anyone had the right to be a bit solemn or self-centred once they'd had a few drinks.

It was a bit more lively than usual. Some nonsense circling through the news feeds had the regulars uncharacteristically animated. An old man with a voice like gravel was talking sternly with the barkeep while pointing at the screen behind him. Across most tables people were chatting at each other while they all stared at their handhelds.

The excitement didn't rub off on him. Felix felt the same as every morning. Not only because he was avoiding whatever sensationalism was spreading this time for as long as possible. But because he couldn't honestly remember a day when he felt different. Picking out a particular day from the last year of his memories was like trying to differentiate bricks from one another. Maybe he should find some resolve to fix that. Maybe he shouldn't burn away hours in the same pub every morning. Or maybe whatever enrichment could be gained on the dead rock he was stuck to wasn't worth the effort.

It was when the familiar waves of melancholy were about to crash, that Isaac arrived with the third pint.

He held a glass in each hand that glowed amber in the bar's hazy lights. He placed one in front of Felix and the other on his own coaster. His one had a small map of New Hampshire.

"Murder in the moondust!" Isaac exclaimed as he sat down. "Rich boy murdered by a shadow. It's all very exciting."

Felix took a long swig before replying. "I'd gathered that much..." It was hard not to pick up the basic elements when the story was everywhere. "But I don't wanna talk about that right now."

"You never wanna talk about anything." Isaac said. His voice annoyed but face sympathetic. Carefully, Felix set his drink back down on the table. Without the reliable pull of a full g, liquids were much harder to keep contained in glasses. It was common that people would forget where they were a few drinks in. Bring the glass to their lips with a bit too much enthusiasm, and end up throwing the contents all over themselves. Another of Luna's annoyances.

Felix stared at the swirling foam on the surface of his pint. The fog of melancholic frustration still hovering around his mind. He pictured what he must look like to an outside observer, and grimaced at the thought that whatever their negative assumptions might be, they were probably accurate. His sadness was a malfunction he had more or less surrendered to. He had worked through it and knew the solution. But the effort required made the solution infeasible. He simply didn't care enough about himself to care about himself. Circles and circles. He thought as the bubbles swirled. Circles and circles.

"Well I don't like quiet." Isaac said. "So I'm gonna try and change the subject... What about the pedo?"

"The pedo?"

"Yeah. The pedo."

"How am I supposed to know who or what you are talking about just from that?" Felix asked.

"Y'know! Prince Bernard. The King's brother."

"Oh. I thought all that got dropped?"

"Yeah, which doesn't mean much in the way of his innocence." Isaac said, turning his palms towards the ceiling in a lazy shrug. "But! His niece, the blushing bride Princess Olivia... Still has him banned from the wedding. So behind closed royal doors they clearly know something's up with him." Isaac's eyes were wide. Felix clung to the conversation as a distraction like one might cling to wreckage in a shipwreck.

"They could just be avoiding a soiled reputation." Felix said.

Isaac ignored him. "He's supposed to be arriving on Luna tomorrow. Reportedly to meet the bride and groom face to face and sweet talk his way back onto the whitelist."

"Olivia's on Luna right now?"

"Has been for a while, they've got an above-ground place somewhere in Spectrum." They both took a long draught from their drinks. Isaac glared at Felix through the glass, prompting some response. Felix sank his head and thought for a few moments before speaking.

"I was in London when Olivia was born, were you?" Felix started. Isaac nodded in reply. "I was just a kid but I still remember it. Even when she was an infant she was their trump card. There'd been anger and resentment stewing for a while, but as soon as the pictures of a cute baby swaddled in pink flooded the news feeds, all discontent was smothered. And every few years, whether it be the royals or the government. Protest was met with her first words. Uproar was met with her first steps... But that wasn't the worst part. After we lost the house, when we were living on the streets, when my mum followed my dad to the grave... The worst was how it worked so well on me. How it made me happy to see her pictures and watch her videos. How I gave myself so joyfully to their obvious trick."

"You couldn't pretend you were any better than anyone else." Isaac said, wearing an understanding frown.

"Yep." Felix said. "She's just as bad as the rest of them. She's probably done everything Bernard's accused of and then some."

"I guess she's got what Bernard doesn't. For true immunity you need to be rich and beautiful."

"Tell that to Ty Jackson." Felix said. Isaac's mouth crept to the side of his face in a sly smile.

"I thought you didn't want to talk about that."

"I don't." Felix said, and saw off his pint.

They sat for a while in a comfortable and mutual silence. Patrons came and went, as did waves of enthusiasm in the news channels. Nothing new, they were all talking over each other to announce their continued ignorance.

Luna's synthetic alcohol was starting to have an effect now. Felix's cheeks and fingertips started to numb, but the dejection remained as strong. Isaac was staring into space. Following his eyes, Felix saw a table of students in a spirited but friendly argument. It was utterly pathetic that the mere sight of other humans being happy stirred such a profound sadness within him. He wished there was something more to it than jealousy. That he wasn't just a lonely old man, bitter at what he'd had and lost. But the truth was unavoidable, and no amount of self-awareness could dodge it.

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The youths cheered, and Felix turned away. Isaac was still staring, and when Felix traced his gaze more carefully, he arrived at a woman.

She was sitting alone at a small table for two, sipping at something colourful. She looked vaguely middle-eastern, with dark-brown hair hovering delicately at her shoulders. Felix flicked his eyes between her and Isaac.

"What are you staring at?" Felix asked.

"That woman."

"Why..?" Isaac turned to face him. His face was flat but his eyes exposed a hidden amusement.

"You could go talk to her." Isaac said, with a softness that caught Felix off guard.

"Are you serious?"

"Kinda. Look, I know you're struggling bu-"

"And embarrassing myself is supposed to help how?" Felix interrupted.

"We both know that this," he said, stretching out his arms and gesturing to the whole bar. "Can't continue. Something's gotta change." Felix shook his head in bewilderment and sunk back into his seat. "Look, you go over, say hi. She says she has a boyfriend or whatever and you come back. At least you did something, tried something."

"Why are you doing this right now?" Felix asked.

Isaac ignored him. "Or, you go over, say hi. She doesn't have a boyfriend. And you keep going until you fuck it up. Then you come back." Felix glanced anxiously back over to her. She was studying her drink, her chin resting on her palm, her fingers curled against her cheek.

Issac continued, leaning closer to him and lowering himself nearer to the table. "You're both in here at this hour, both alone-"

"Wow, so much in common-"

"The atmosphere in here with what's going on is quite... conversational. It's a unique opportunity-"

"Isaac-"

"For a bit of relaxed-"

"Isaac-"

"Low stakes-"

"Isaac, it is not happening."

"Plus she's quite hot." Isaac muttered quickly as the doors of the conversation slammed shut.

They looked at each other in mutual disappointment. Felix gave a last look towards her as he said what he hoped would be the last words on the matter.

"We're both pushing 40. I think we're a little old for this schoolboy shi-" The derailment of his train of thought was almost violent. As he turned to face her, he met her gentle eyes. And her smile was like ice to a burn.

"Holy shit!" Isaac exclaimed. A grin spread across his face.

Felix recoiled away from her and stared at the table. "Grow up, it's just a smile, it isn't an invitation."

"Oh come on! The Felix I knew a year ago wouldn't hesitate if a girl gave him a smile."

The insult was deep. Felix shot an offended glance up at Isaac, but he remained stern. He knew he'd struck a nerve and kept going.

"Window of opportunity closing..."

"Shut up."

"You only get this stressed when you've gotta make a tough decision. And a decision's only tough when the choice that goes against your instincts has obvious merit."

Felix clenched his teeth and breathed deep, not quite believing what he was about to do. Isaac continued.

"You literally have nothing to lose."

"Now you sound like my sister."

"So I win?" Isaac said. Wearing a hopeful but tentative smile. Felix unclenched his jaw, breathed out slowly, and against every instinct, stood up.

He shuffled out of the booth before he'd really processed what he was doing. Progressing in small shambles towards the border of his comfort zone. He ran his hand along the edge of the table as he went, anchoring himself to safety. As he reached the end his index finger stuck to the corner. His brain caught up and the anxiety welled, an intense force compelled him to sit back down. But he resisted looking back towards Isaac and with what little resolve he could muster, severed his last link with security.

Untethered, he walked towards her table. Every anxiety and insecurity he hadn't had the energy to worry about for a long time bombarded his mind at once. He hadn't thought about what he was wearing when he put it on this morning, he wasn't even sure of the last time it was washed. His hair was greasy, his stubble was patchy and untidy. He couldn't remember the last time he'd properly looked in a mirror. Again he pictured himself as an outside observer, and found himself concerned for the woman.

The chorus of unease crescendoed into indifferentiable noise, which hushed to silence immediately as he arrived at her table.

"Hi." He said. The syllable had leaked from his mouth without thought. She took an agonising few moments to sit up slightly and meet his eyes.

"Hi." She replied. Her eyes were a deep brown, and whatever analysis was being performed behind them was locked absolutely out of view.

"Mind if I sit?" His voice was steady, but the heat was already in his face.

"Sure." That was quick, this is going too well.

The chair squeaked against the floor as he pulled it out and sat down. She glided her drink across the table to her side, opening for conversation. Her face was thin, bones defining her cheeks and eyes more than her skin.

"You been here before?" Christ. The words tasted like coins as they left his mouth. She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

"A few times. But never this early. I suppose I was nervous of the kind of people that would be in here at this hour..."

He swallowed and went for it. "This one's called Felix." He said, reaching out an open hand.

This time, the smile reached her eyes. "Maria." She said, and shook his hand. The same thinness was in her fingers. "Are you a regular then?" She asked. Felix nodded. "You don't sound American?"

"No, I'm English." Felix said. A complementary question of where she was from was expected. But the sentence kept forming and dissolving in his mind - catching on his tongue. "How long have you been on Luna?" He asked instead.

"Oh... eight months now. Which I suppose is eight... days. With how the Sun misbehaves up here."

Felix grinned, and by instinct suppressed the joy that was behind it. "Yeah that takes a bit of getting used to." She asked her complementary question wordlessly in her eyes. "Oh, I've been up here since the beginning." He said. Her eyebrows moved, and she could've been surprised or impressed... or neither.

"I'm guessing you don't get stuck to the floor then?" She said. Self degradation in her tone.

"Only once I've spent enough in here." He replied, and they both smiled. "You have a fitting name for Luna." He said. Her brow furrowed in confusion. "Historically, when people looked up at The Moon, like, from Earth. The darker kinda circular patches were thought to be oceans or lakes. So they were called 'seas', or, in the original latin: 'maria'."

"Huh." She said. Felix panicked. That was weird. Why the hell did you say all that? But she seemed genuinely interested. Or at least... moved. She was looking past him and her thoughts seemed even further away. "Thank you Felix." She said at last, and he didn't even try to dissect what that meant.

Whatever kind of flow he was building had stumbled. Keep going until you fuck it up. Echoed in his mind. Felix peered over his shoulder to see Isaac. But he had vanished. Felix turned back around to confront her. Think of something to say and think quick, otherwise the conversation's gonna turn to-

"So. What do you think of all this?" She said, pointing to the screen behind the bar. They'd given it a name: Void Dancer, and some plastic news anchor was yapping about how a statement from President Cast was imminent.

"I suppose I'm grateful for the bit of excitement." Felix said, hoping the conversation would move to something else.

"Quite a lot of excitement really, at least, relatively. Even if it's short lived."

"I dunno, I think it'll drag on."

She wore a smile that Felix read as cheeky. "You think? You don't have faith in our fearless leader to restore paradise?" She said.

A stone dropped into his stomach. He had meant that the media would hang on to the story as long as possible, nothing about her.

"Are you not a fan?" She asked, seemingly seeing the discomfort on his face.

"I- uh- have a bit more of a personal relationship to Robyn Cast than most people."

"Oh! Do you work for her?" She asked.

"No- I..." There was no avoiding it now, he'd just have to say it. "I'm- I was a... soldier." Felix said, and for the first time couldn't look her in the eyes.

He watched as she realised in a sequence. You were a soldier. You were in the November Escalation. And the anniversary is in a couple weeks.

"Oh... sorry." She said. You shouldn't have to apologise for my weakness, that isn't fair. He thought, and tried to casually wave the apology away with a perceptibly shaking hand.

"How are you?"

And there it was. The three words. The tiny, stupid question which had made him give up on therapy. His sadness, his malfunction, he thought about it more than anyone else - and even he had no hope of adequately explaining it with words. When he thought of the malfunction, the dark, impenetrable shape. He saw it as a fractal. Infinitely sprawling and complex and sharp. No words could define its border. Any word, no matter how academic, intricate or well-chosen - was too big, too clumsy, to fit into the grooves of the fractal. The shadow which enveloped his life was infinitely elaborate. And words had finite resolution.

"I'm okay." He said.

He shouldn't be surprised. Of course it all fucked up. Of course any hope of today being any different from the rest was squandered. He should've just stayed at his table alone. This was a mistake. A waste of time. Circles and circles. Circles and circles. Circles and circles and circles and circles and circles and circles-

"I get it." Maria said. Felix wasn't sure how long they'd spent in silence. "Sometimes I feel like everyone up here is lying to themselves a bit." Felix met her eyes again. "Because, we're all up here running from something. And if Plato isn't perfect, then we never escaped what we were running from." Her expression was cold, she stared at the table for a few moments, then finished her drink.

"Yeah..." was all Felix could say. They sat for a few moments in silence then, at the same time, looked up and met each other's eyes. "Well," Felix continued "That whole perfection thing's getting pretty shaken right now." As they both turned to the screen behind the bar, and caught the closing words of President Cast's official statement.