Josie got home and unlocked the door. She stepped inside. The girls had armed

themselves somehow with clubs. Elaine had her crossbow pointed at the door.

“Don’t shoot,” said Josie. “I’m unarmed.”

“Jack?,” asked Elaine.

“He’s taking care of some personal business,” said Josie. “I told him I would deal

with the tax collectors. Are they still in the icebox?”

“Yes,” said Elaine. “What are you going to do with them?”

“I am going to let them go after making them normal again,” said Josie. “And then

we’re going to have some sandwiches and I am going to bed so I can be ready for

tomorrow.”

“So you are going out with the adventurers?,” said Elaine.

“Yes,” said Josie. “If Jack can make artifacts for you girls, what do you want to do

with them?”

“Avoid work,” said Melanie.

“Learn to cook,” said Angelica. “Better than what I can do now.”

“I want to be able to fly,” said Laura. “That was great when we were cutting through

the sky. I want to do that, but without an airship.”

“I want to be able to learn everything I need,” said Matilda. “It doesn’t sound

practical compared to the others but I would like to be able to do things where I didn’t

have to depend on others.”

“Super archer,” said Alicia. “Best archer in the whole world.”

Beatrice said nothing. She frowned at her adopted sisters. She looked at Josie.

“I have to think about it,” said Beatrice. “Avoiding work sounds good if you have

work to do and aren’t on the streets, flying is good for traveling as long as you don’t

hit anything, learning to cook better won’t replace natural skill, and knowing things

won’t replace experience. Being the best archer means nothing unless you plan to

fight all the time. Right now there is nothing I want, and no reason to chase about

after it.”

“I understand,” said Josie. Her mother had wanted things for her, but she just couldn’t

see it, and had carved her own way. She was willing to let Beatrice do the same if she

wanted.

Beatrice nodded at her own thoughts. She had been on the street for a while. She

knew what it was like to have to chase after every meal, run from the Guard, and face

down small monsters who were also trying to scavenge a living. Jack and Josie had

taken her in and treated her like their kin. She could live with that as long as it lasted.

“All right,” said Josie. “I am going to have to deal with the tax men and send them

off. You girls might want to wait in the other room until I am done.”

“We’ve all seen naked men,” said Beatrice. She slapped her club against her hand.

“I don’t need them thinking we’re going to beat them to death,” said Josie. She

paused. “But that is an option.”

“Go ahead,” said Elaine. “We will hold the doors for the living room and the personal

quarters. I will personally have my crossbow ready in case they try to get shirty.”

“After the last few hours, that might be the last thing on their minds,” said Josie. She

waved at the Ducklings and Elaine to take their places. “Let’s get this over with

before Jack comes home and starts clowning around.”

She went into the kitchen and brought out the cup and saucer Jack had used for his

prison cell. She turned the cup over and let the webbed up Guards fall to the floor.

She ignored their tiny cries. She stepped back so she wouldn’t step on them.

She didn’t want to do that unless she had to.

Josie called on Zatanna. She was going to need the magic to reverse what Jack had

done. And she wanted to make sure they knew enough not to come back.

Some people only had to be told once. Others needed something more than telling

before they got the message.

“All right, guys,” said Josie. She let them grow back to their rightful size and let the

webbing finish burning away on its own. “We fixed the tax bill. Magistrate Lewn will

no longer be signing for jobs for your shadow board. The Duke knows about it now

and he isn’t too happy about the fact you guys were ripping him off.

“So I am going to let you live the limited time you have before the Duke figures out

who you are if he ever does, but these are my three conditions. Jack will think I am

going soft and I don’t want that. He’ll start stealing all the ice cream he can get his

hands on until I have do something harsh.”

“The Duke knows about this,” said one the guards. He looked at his comrades. “It

came with his authority.”

“The old Duke knew about it,” said Josie. “The new Duke wants to know where his

money is.”

“What are you talking about?,” asked the surly leader of the group. He glared at her.

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“Someone has been keeping the money you guys have been collecting for the Duchy,”

said Josie. “Now that the new Duke knows this, he wants the money back. As my

friend Jack says, heads will roll for this. But that’s not my problem. You guys are my

problem and I have two ways of fixing that problem.

“The first way is a short, violent death for you, but that won’t send the message I want

to send. It would be so easy to turn you into falling stars and let you explode when

you hit the ground. The girls say I should ease back. The city isn’t going to want to

clean up my splattered bodies forever. Just because I have a hammer, not everything

is nails.”

Josie paused. She saw on some of their faces that those guards had dealt with the

aftermath of her and Jack literally dropping bodies on the city. And they had not liked

the experience.

They would like it even less if it happened to them personally.

“So these are my three conditions,” said Josie. “And then you can leave and never

return. Am I understood? Any of you who want to be dropped on the city is welcome

to step to the right so I can do that first.”

The Guards stepped to the left to make sure they didn’t have to worry about that

before things were done.

“The first condition is you are going to be the best Guards you can be,” said Josie.

“No more bribery, no more corruption, no more committing crimes yourself. As soon

as our business is settled you will go back to your lives and do your jobs the best way

you can. Do the right thing. Help people.

“The second condition is you will work on improving your fellow Guards until they

come up to snuff. Any who have the Makeover should be avoided because they are

going to die soon. Don’t join in with them, and shun them as much as you can.

“The third condition is to warn your fellow Guards off the Shadow Board if you can.

The Duke has stated he wants that money for the Treasury. I doubt he will think twice

about taking it out of the people who gathered the money in the first place.

“And I am going to give you a reminder to carry with you until you hit the bar,” said

Josie. She exerted part of her power as Zatanna to hex them. “Any time you do

something wrong, you are going to lose a pound. Eventually you will just vanish.

When you get to where you don’t have to decide to be a good person, the curse will

come off. Think of it as a conscience made of a horrendous disease that will eat you

alive until you are dead, or can convince it you can do the right thing without

someone sitting on your shoulder.”

“You can’t do that to us,” said the leader of the tax collectors.

“As the champion of order at the moment, I can do it, and have done it,” said Josie.

“If I have to deal with you like this again, I will consider using the hammer. Am I

understood? Go home. Think about what you are going to have to do. And use

tomorrow to be a better person. Good night, gentlemen. Do not let us meet like this

again.”

She waved her hand and the naked men were out on the street, wondering where they

could get clothes in the middle of the night without getting into trouble. They began

running to their homes, using alleys to navigate the city.

“I don’t think that was kind, or merciful,” said Elaine.

“I’m not inclined to be either,” said Josie. “But sometimes I try to do something else

other than setting people on fire.”

“I wonder what they will do next,” asked Beatrice.

“I don’t know,” said Josie. “I think you girls should get ready for bed. I know I have

to so I can see what’s what in the morning. Maybe we can change the world with this

new approach.”

“Maybe they will think getting rid of you will lift their curse and they come back to

do that,” said Melanie.

“I guess I will have to put the door shutter down and do something about security,”

said Josie. “Maybe what we need is a dog.”

“A dog?,” said Melanie. “Will it have long hair and a gentle disposition?”

“I doubt it,” said Josie. “And I think trying to teach it to fetch for you is going too far

at being lazy.”

“I would never do that,” said Melanie.

“Too much work,” said Matilda.

“In any case, we might need something that will watch the place for us when we are

out,” said Josie. “That will prevent more break-ins and keep things the way we like

them. And you girls have to get ready for practice tomorrow.”

“Are you really the champion of order?,” asked Laura.

“I don’t know,” said Josie. “It depends on what the Society actually is. Now we have

to get ready for bed and get ready for tomorrow.”

“I think learning how to fight was a good idea,” said Beatrice. “Thank you for not just

killing them out of hand. A warning may not be heeded but at least you gave one this

time.”

“If I can use this to change the city, it will be a win for us,” said Josie. “The amount

of corruption we are seeing may cause those eight guys to die to the hands of their

fellow cops. We’ll have to keep an eye on them to make sure nothing happens, I

guess.”

“I’ll have to get ready for the dinner tomorrow,” said Elaine. “I won’t be able to take

the girls to the adventurers’ hall.”

“I’ll do it,” said Josie. “I have to meet Fass’s crew there with the airship. I might as

well take them with me.”

“Thank you,” said Elaine. “That will make things easier for me.”

“It’s just dinner with the Harps and Master Guin,” said Josie. “They’re not our

parents.”

“I know, but I am still nervous,” said Elaine.

“You will make a great wife,” said Beatrice. She nudged the other girls and they

threw in their agreement. “Will you stay here, or move out?”

“Stay,” said Alicia. “You’re our biggest sister.”

“You are our friend, and we want you to do what you think you think is right,” said

Beatrice. “I want your room if you move out. That way I can find a man of my own.”

“That won’t happen,” said Laura.

“I will get a boyfriend before you,” said Beatrice.

“Hold on,” said Josie. She looked at Elaine. The assistant still held her crossbow at

the ready in case she had to use it. “There’s more to finding the right person to share

your life with than how fast you can do the horizontal mambo.”

“What is the horizontal mambo?,” asked Matilda.

“I think you are too young for this conversation, young lady,” said Josie. “Come

back in twenty five years.”

“That’s what everyone says,” said Matilda.

“I think you should go to bed,” said Josie. “Beatrice and Laura will explain it to you

in the morning.”

“I don’t know what the horizontal mambo is either,” said Laura.

Beatrice made a gesture with both hands.

“Oh,” said Laura. “I do know what that is.”

“Beatrice and Laura, let’s have this talk in the office upstairs,” said Josie. She rubbed

her face. “I never thought I would be having a talk about responsibility. Everyone

else, go to bed. Master Harp will be trying to shape you into swordswomen

tomorrow.”

She made a gesture for the Ducklings to get moving. She wondered what kind of talk

that Jack got from his mom. He probably got it from his sisters.

She led the way upstairs to the office. She settled behind the desk. She looked around.

The office looked more organized than what she remembered. Maybe the cleaning

spell had done that.

Beatrice and Laura came in. They took the other seats. Elaine stood by the closed

door.

“All right,” said Josie. “What’s his name? Let’s start with that. Then we’ll talk about

what you want and what I want.”

“Are you going to treat him badly?,” said Beatrice.

“Maybe,” said Josie. “But that’s something that will come after we talk about this.”