Wheeler

Dude! The moms gave me her credit card for party favors!

Asher

Yeah, I know. I just saw you at SP.

Wheeler

👉🤡

Haven't left yet.

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Chapter 7 — Cheddar

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Jumbo Shrimp nodded, giving his elongated arms and legs a quick stretch. “Come on in.” He grabbed the door and waved for Cheddar to follow. “I think Bran just put another batch of fries in the fryer.” He left the two pairs of runners sitting at his guard post and went in.

Taking in a deep breath to steady themself, Cheddar followed. The restaurant had just started renovations, so other than two dismantled bathrooms they used for storage, the building was fully functional and about the best hideout a Finder Keeper cell could hope for. None of the others had a colorful fryer plus never-ending fries, oil, and salt.

A few steps in and the smell of golden crispy delight wafted around them. Unlike others on the Dinner Table, Finder Keepers didn’t need to eat to survive. The Lady chose not to feed on them, but they ate anyway — food tasted good — and it gave them a little extra energy to tap into their abilities.

Sitting in one booth was Bran. The gray table in front of him was inches deep in strips of salty gold.

Bran had a venerable look about him with his hunched-over posture, squinty blue eyes, bald head, and wrinkled tawny skin. Cheddar thought he may be the oldest person on the Dinner Table. He was also the nicest. They were friends. Bran focused on arranging fries into equally sized piles and didn’t notice Cheddar and Jumbo Shrimp come in.

Jumbo Shrimp headed into the back to find Meatloaf and Cheddar moved over to the booth, they set their shadesack down beside it, and slid along the bench opposite Bran until their feet collided with a stack of boxes underneath. “Found a few more lunchboxes?”

Bran grabbed a stack of fries and shoved them into his mouth, picked up a second stack, and passed it to Cheddar. “Yeah. Just one, but it’s the first one in a long while.”

“Where did you find it?”

Bran shrugged, looked around to make sure they were alone, and leaned over the table. “Our friend.”

“Neat,” Cheddar slid another fry into their mouth. “What’s it do?”

“I’m not sure. The picture has colorful dancing bears with tattooed stomachs.”

Cheddar grabbed another fry. “That sounds like fun.”

Bran nodded as he started organizing fries again. “Everything turn out alright? We good?” He kept his face aimed at the table, but his eyes looked up taking aim at Cheddar who sat wringing their hands.

“Uh. He, he’s pulled, but something happened.” Cheddar picked up a fry and slid it into their mouth. “How are things going here in the hideout?”

They didn’t actually have to chew the fries. The food would dissipate into absorbed energy with a swallow. An entire piece of unchewed food could be in their mouth and would instantly transform, but that took practice, and right now, the point was to savor the flavor.

“Good, mostly.” Bran slid another neatly stacked pile into his mouth.

Cheddar expected little more. Bran was always polite with them, but they were more watch and listen than chat. His specialty was lunchboxes. He was an Unboxer, a choice that other Finder Keepers mocked him for. Bran was powerful, but lunch kits were rare in City. He had five, now six, compared to Cheddar’s collection of 127 artifacts, but collecting was the simple part for a Junker. Making a snap decision on what’s needed and keeping it organized was the tricky part.

Jumbo Shrimp stomped up to the booth and scooped a handful of fries into his mouth, knocking a like amount to the floor.

Bran squinted his eyes, glaring at Jumbo Shrimp. “Friggin establishment.”

“Still good.” Cheddar slid out of the booth and scooped up the fries around Jumbo Shrimp’s boots as the Sole Stepper chewed. His size, hunched form, and smacking lips made Cheddar think ogre, but the boots could affect Jumbo Shrimp’s intellect and temperament, so making a comment like that was risky depending on what he wore.

Cheddar slid back into the booth; their hands filled with fries. They picked them out from between their fingers, one at a time, with their mouth.

“Meatloaf will be here in a few. Scooch.” Jumbo Shrimp didn’t wait, his posterior led the way.

Cheddar saw him coming and tried to make themself as small as possible, but Jumbo Shrimp’s bulk squished them into the corner. “Could you take your boots off? Please?”

Jumbo Shrimp nodded and clicked his feet together, gave them a shake, and the hikers thunked to the floor. Cheddar could breathe again as jumbo shrunk back to shrimp.

If you spot this story on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

The three of them enjoyed fries and chatted while waiting for the boss to arrive. They chuckled and joked with one another as friends would, but Cheddar knew that for at least one of the three, it was an act. True Finder Keepers only had one friend.

“What are you doing?” asked a tall woman with blue and purple hair, an athletic build, and a face covered in piercings. She had them in her lip, nose, cheeks, and several in her ears. Fingers packed with rings, her wrists had dozens of bracelets, and around her neck hung many necklaces. Dark denim and flannel covered her legs and torso. She wore industrial steel-toed boots on her feet. Cheddar studied the tattoo sleeve on her left arm, traveling from wrist to shoulder. It was of a man riding a motorcycle towards a giant winged beast at the top of a tower. They didn’t know what it meant, but they still thought it looked cool.

Jumbo Shrimp slid out of the booth. Quickly hopped up, stammered an apology, and took up his position beside her. Cheddar noted the glare from him when Meatloaf wasn’t looking. Maybe it was Finder Keepers with M names who weren’t liked? Meatloaf, Mayo, Mango. Ug. Mango was the worst.

“You wanted to see me, Cheddar?” She smiled.

Cheddar knew how treacherous Meatloaf could be, but she was nicer than Ice. Most people were, even if Meatloaf was only friendly when it served her, that still meant she was friendly sometimes. But Cheddar knew the truth — Meatloaf, or even Jumbo Shrimp, would turn on them if they needed to. It was the Finder Keeper way. They were always trying to rise closer to the Lady, and that meant getting closer to Ice, and he only respected success. The chosen ones would get to meet with the Lady and, if lucky, get devoured by her. They would become a part of her.

“Um, yes. Yes, I did.” Cheddar stared down at the table. “I hope I’m, I’m, I’m, not bothering you?”

“Not at all. Now tell me, what happened?”

“I brought the artifact to the shade, Asher. To, to, to pull him, but…” Cheddar squirmed in their seat.

“What artifact did Ice give you to pull him?” Meatloaf sat in the booth beside Bran. “What belonged to him, you know, before?”

Jumbo Shrimp slid in beside Cheddar.

Ice? Ice had nothing to do with this artifact drop. Cheddar glanced at Bran. He was busy making another neat pile of fries. “It was a grimoire page. Ah… um. A spell.”

“I know what a grimoire page is.” Meatloaf slapped the table with a snarl. “Cheddar! Enough of this. Get it out.” She sat back, absently twisting one of her rings with her knuckles as she fidgeted. It was a spider ring on her pinky, made of black plastic.

Cheddar wanted to be small, recoiling away as far as the booth would let them. Even Jumbo Shrimp leaned back. They all knew what that ring did. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I meant no disrespect. It was the Awaken spell. Asher’s artifact was the Awaken spell. It was a Maelstrom artifact.”

Shouting started all at once. Most of it was exclamations from Meatloaf and Jumbo Shrimp about how that couldn’t be right. The rest was from Cheddar, trying to answer the barrage of questions flying at them. Bran sat quietly and listened. It went on that way for a while, and Cheddar took mental inventory. They wanted to grab an artifact that could make them tiny and safe, but nothing they had would suffice.

The shouts dimmed, and in the lull, Cheddar swallowed. They had to keep going. Maybe it had happened before. “That wasn’t the weirdest part.”

Meatloaf gritted her teeth and nodded for Cheddar to continue.

Cheddar opened their mouth, but no words came out. They rubbed their feet together and slid a few fries into their pocket — in case they needed to bolt.

“He, he, he absorbed the spell while um, while still in the Kitchen.” They flicked their legs under them, crouching in their seat. They were ready to launch over the back and break for the door.

Everyone stopped eating.

Jumbo Shrimp blinked rapidly, his chin thrusting up as his head shot back. “No. No way!”

Bran looked up from his next fry stack.

“Sit down!” Meatloaf slammed her fist down on the table, fries bounced alarmingly close to the edge.

Cheddar slunk down into the booth. “He started to um… to, to read the page and it um… it…”

“Spit it out, Cheddar.” Jumbo Shrimp leaned in, pulling at one of the thicker patches of beard on his chin.

“… the page, it reacted, and it wasn’t painless like it is here. He screamed — a lot. Like, a lot. A lot.” They reached down and hurriedly shoved another fry in their mouth. “I felt bad.”

“That can’t be right,” Jumbo Shrimp rolled his eyes and gave his head a shake. “You’re a genius prankster, or you’ve been licking garbage cans again.”

Cheddar shot forward in their seat, pointing, “Hey! Listen Shrimp, that was one time. I’m not lying.”

“Enough! I believe you, but this is new, and bad, but mostly new.” Meatloaf slid down into the seat next to Cheddar and tapped a fry against her lips. “Fractures are uncommon, but from maelstrom artifacts they’re unheard of.” She slid the fry into her mouth, eyes staring through Cheddar as she reached for another.

“I’m surprised his mind didn’t explode.” Jumbo Shrimp reached up to his head and mimicked an explosion — sound effect included.

It was new. That’s not good. It was even new enough to get Bran’s attention. Ice and the Lady were going to be so mad at them. New things didn’t happen on the Dinner Table.

They silently watched fries file one after another into Meatloaf’s mouth. She didn’t even chew. Fry, swallow, fry, swallow, and on it went as moments turned to minutes.

Bran slowly slid his hand out to pick up a fry, but Jumbo Shrimp’s eyes went wide, and he started slowly shaking his head. Meatloaf was thinking and taking a fry might pull her attention. That would be bad. Bran retracted his hand.

With the pile of fries on the table dangerously low, the pattern changed. Fry in the mouth, chew, chew, swallow. “These are great. Who made these?” asked Meatloaf.

“Bran did,” said Jumbo Shrimp.

She tossed Bran a fry. “The rest are mine now.” She gathered the remaining fries into a small pile in front of her. “Here’s what I want you to do.” Her tone muffled by a fry stuffed mouth as she pointed at Cheddar. “I want you to follow him, find out why this happened, and how he absorbed it while still being garnished.”

“You want me to spy?” Cheddar shifted in their seat.

“Is that a problem?” She twisted the spider on her finger.

“No! No, no. I love spying. It’s my favorite thing in the entire world.” Cheddar slid under the table, scooped a floor fry, and came up free of the booth. They gave Meatloaf the one fingered salute they’d learned earlier from Asher and Wheeler.

Bran snickered.

“Mission accepted. I’m on the job!” They spun away, but it turned it into a full circle. “Oh. Except for food, I love food more.” They turned away again.

“What about the Lady?” asked Jumbo Shrimp.

"Don't forget your shadesack." Bran pointed at Cheddar's all gray rucksack leaning against the booth.

They spun back. “Sorry. I meant food and spying after the Lady. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love her. Love, love, love, love.” Cheddar turned and made their way to the exit.

“I’ll follow you out,” Jumbo Shrimp grabbed his boots from under the table.

Cheddar wished Jumbo Shrimp good guarding, then rang Roady awake and headed back out into City’s streets. They’d catch up to Asher at Ron Wheeler’s party. They didn’t like to lie, but that wasn’t the worst. Meatloaf was going to inform Ice. She had too, and that sucked. Ice was the worst. Even worse than Mango.