Jumbo Shrimp
So, we gotta hit the mall to report to Ice.
Cheddar
Oh, he won't like that.
Dancing shoes?
Jumbo Shrimp
You know it!
Oh, you're supposed to meet us there.
Cheddar
Can't. I'm under the covers.
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Asher
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Arm up, Asher would take the broom blow on his forearm.
“No. Two-leg, get down.” The bunny shot forward and slammed into Asher’s back. Then used him as a springboard to launch straight up.
Asher, unbalanced on one knee with his hands in front of his face, was knocked forward and down. The shade’s swing carried the broom over his back and under the bunny’s paws.
The bunny landed, taking a second hop over a pizza box stuck on its side. “That was fun, but let’s go. Unless you want to shade dodge some more?”
“Where are you?” The broom wielder kicked a can, scattering more trash across the alley as it rolled Asher’s way.
Asher scrambled to his feet. A few quick steps took him to the opposite side of the alley. Shit! The bat and phone, he'd left them on the ground.
"Unless you want to shade dodge some more?" Asked the bunny.
There, his eyes picked them out of the scattered gray trash a few feet to the broom wielding shade’s left, who was still turning and swinging. “No, but I have to get my stuff.”
The bunny moved a few feet down the alley, out of the way, turned with a twisty hop, and sat down. “Okay, shade dodging it is.”
Asher was pretty sure he just witnessed his first bunny smile.
“Dodge, don’t block.”
“Okay. Why?” Asher asked, dodging to the left to avoid the now approaching shade. He took his time and looked for an opening.
“Items they carry are a part of them. Touch the item and you break the shade. Only block if you want to break it.”
“Break? Like the swirly mist, eat the color off you, thing?”
“Sounds about right.”
“I’d prefer not to.” Asher decided the best thing to do was wait. When the shade calmed down and started sweeping trash again, he could walk over and get his stuff. He could tell the bunny wasn’t the patient type, as he goaded Asher into making a move. He wasn’t dumb enough to fall for it, but it told Asher something new. The shades didn’t react to the bunny talking like they did Asher. If Asher responded to the bunny, he was pretty sure it would just fire the shade back up again, but the bunny’s words had no effect.
Once the shade started sweeping trash again, Asher moved in and retrieved his phone and bat. They started moving down the alley together. The bunny led the way.
Stolen novel; please report.
“That was kind of lame, Two-legs. Smart, but lame.”
Asher scoffed. “Sorry, I couldn’t be more entertaining.” He checked his phone for cracks, then slid it back into his waistband. “I told you my name is Asher. What’s yours?”
The bunny stopped and looked warily at a point in the air again. “Not yet. I like you, but not yet.” He hopped off down the alley, and Asher followed.
Asher had a lot to learn. This world looked so similar to his own, but nothing was simple. With the new information, he was pretty sure vehicles were even worse than he had realized. They would have slammed into him and then the shade drivers would have broken and sucked out his energy. Not a pleasant situation.
They crossed from one alley to the next before Asher asked the big question on his mind, “so, can you tell me where I am and what’s going on?”
“I can. You’re in her belly now. Being digested, like all humans are.”
He said it simply. As a fact. He hadn’t even tried to sugarcoat it, and it gave Asher even more questions. “I don’t remember being swallowed, but whose belly?”
“Lady Wraith’s.”
“Who is Lady Wraith?”
“An evil bitch who tried to destroy us and who eats you.”
“Us as in bunnies?”
“Us as in animals. Except dogs, they got it worse. Most animals blame humans for that, too.”
“The poker players?”
“What?” the bunny said. He looked around and stopped.
Asher noticed his head twitched slightly to one side as if he were actively listening for trouble. “Nothing. It was a painting I saw. Okay, how do we get out?”
“You don’t.” The bunny sighed. “Look, here are the fledgling basics. I’m sure you’ve already figured out some of them, but just in case, things with color can be interacted with. Gray things can only be interacted with in limited ways at limited times. You’re being digested so your energy is being absorbed slowly by the world around you, even when you sleep, but I hear sleep slows down the process.”
“Does it not work that way for you?”
The bunny glared. “We don’t get digested. She can’t see or feel animals, but that’s more advanced. Let’s stick to the basics.” He shifted his feet and stopped talking.
Asher was pretty sure the bunny was trying to focus on a sound. One beyond Asher's ability to hear. They stood there in silence for a few moments, the bunny listening, then he started moving up the alley. Asher didn’t wait. He followed the small veteran’s lead.
They traveled another block. Asher held his bat over his shoulder and his recovered phone was now in his free hand. He was about to send O’Leary a message to let him know he was mostly fine, but then the bunny started talking again. Telling him about how food worked and could keep him sustained. Asher still had hundreds of questions, but he knew he needed to be patient. “So, where are we going?” he asked.
“You’re going to need more food. I’m taking you to the closest food box.”
Asher nodded. He recognized the area and figured the bunny meant the large Costco nearby. “Hey, so why are you helping me?”
"Don't worry about that." The bunny picked up his pace and Asher trotted to keep up as they moved from one alley into the next.
It wasn't long before they were carefully crossing a busy street towards the Costco. As they crossed the sidewalk and took the first step into the parking lot, Asher caught the chorus of what sounded like an electro-dance remix of Jingle Bells from a car as it turned off the busy road. The place was packed, it looked like it was probably one of the busiest days of the year.
The bunny stopped. “This is interesting.”
“What?”
“I forgot what happens when your kind are around. It’s been a long time.”
“What?”
“Time. It changes. She changes it.”
“Now you’re just making stuff up. There’s no way.” Asher remembered the disappearance of 48 hours; the Saturday becoming Monday. “Right?” he sounded about as confident as he felt. “What time is it?” He looked around, trying to find the sun.
“The worst. With you people around, it’s always the worst time. My guess is close to the gift buying holiday.”
“You mean, Christmas? But it’s the beginning of summer!” Asher looked around, “plus, no snow.”
“It’s about shades, not the environment. To them it might look different, we don’t know. Here, the environment stays the same unless the ladies intervene.”
“As in, there are two of them?”
“Yeah, we haven’t talked about Meyonohk yet.”
“She digesting me too?”
“Nope. She’s probably going to help you, but not now. Not a lot of trees and such in a parking lot.”
Asher didn’t know who Meyonohk was, and he didn’t know how any of this was happening, but he knew there were many gray people between him and where the bunny wanted him to find food. “Okay, but...”
“You should get your head in the game, Two-leg.”
A lot of potential monsters, and he was already feeling tired. He heard a small honk and looked down at the bunny — he seemed excited? “This isn’t a game.”
“Maybe not, but this is still going to be fun,” said the bunny as he binkied forward.